To Love a Jedi
Epilogue Part II: The Final Farewell
Author's Note: Sniff…last chapter…oh the sorrow I feel!
Leia, no matter what you think of me now, you need to know, I've always love you, and I will always love you. Please forgive me.
I wipe a tear away and put the book down. So that's it. That's how all this happened. I cannot believe…it's so horrible…and yet it was real…
No wonder Mummy never told me of this. Well, she died when I was only 4, yet…it's almost too horrible for me to realize now. She blames herself for all this, but why? Sometimes fate is cruel. It was fated for this to begin with my father…and for Luke to end this.
I look at the box that is next to me. Inside are all the things Mummy decided to keep from me. It's a good thing she wanted to be buried in Naboo, and all her stuff moved over to her lake retreat, or I would have never known…
Inside I see that holoprojector I had looked at earlier. But I had no idea who it was. I pull it out and press the button. A handsome blond man is shown. On closer inspection, the man is wearing jedi robes.
That's him. That is my father…Darth Vader.
I can see why my mother found love in him. He is an attractive man—was an attractive man. By her account, he was so kind…and loving…I can see how any woman would fall in love with him.
But I doubt many women would make the sacrifice my mother would make. She lost everything because she fell in love. I can barely comprehend the suffering she went through…How could someone live through that without despair? I remember her as being sad…but I never knew…
She asks me to forgive her. And I do. I have to. I know love can make people make stupid choices sometimes…As I have daily proof with my so called marriage to a certain space pirate.
It's a good thing Han and I learned of this lake retreat a while ago, or I would have never known…
"Leia, are you in here?"
Great, he's going to happen upon me while I'm crying my eyes out. "What are you doing?" Han repeats, coming into the bedroom.
I wipe most of the tears away, looking back at my husband. "Nothing. Just going through some stuff I found in the closet."
"Really? Why would you bother going through some old junk like that?"
"This old junk belonged to my mother. As did this entire place, may I remind you!" Sometimes I hate his disregard for anyone's feelings.
At least he can tell when someone's sensitive on a subject. "Okay, take it easy, I didn't mean any offense or anything. I just mean that…" He grins. "This bed looks a lot more interesting. And comfy too. We could make good use of it tonight."
Force, is that all he thinks about? "Han, can you please cut the jokes, I'm not in the mood."
He winks. "That wasn't a joke, sweetheart."
Time for an explosion. "Han, I don't care what you want to do, but the fact is I am not in the mood for anything! Get it!"
At least that gets him to shut up. "All right, all right, what's the problem?"
I sigh. Getting through to Han is like trying to drill through ice on Hoth. "My mother wrote me on what happened to her…and…it was awful!"
"Awful? Wait…didn't your mother live right before the old republic collapsed?"
"Yes…" I reply, wondering what he is going to say.
He shakes his head. "Everyone I talked to who lived at that time said it was awful. You should listen to Chewie's stories sometime."
Well, I understand that times were hard, but come on! How insensitive can he be! "Han, not everyone was secretly married to Vader, you know."
"Oh…ohh…" Finally you get it.
"Yes, ohhh is right. Now if you don't mind, I'd just like to go to my mother's grave on my own." I stand up.
He stands up also. "I'm coming too. Just in case you need someone to cry on."
Well…he may be insensitive, but at least he can make up for it. "Okay."
My mother's grave is a granite pillar, covered with flowers and ivy that have grown up around it. It looks plain, but there is writing in the middle. It reads:
Padmé Naberrie Amidala Skywalker
Queen, Senator, and Wife
May her beloved soul find peace beyond the stars
I remember the day she died. Not much…but just a small moment. She was very sick. I learned later that she had just given up hope…and so she just got weaker. I was sitting by her bed…and she said, "I love you Leia." Sometimes, I see that in dreams I have. In my dreams, she says I love you to Luke and…to Ani. I never knew who Ani was until…today.
I had thought that my years in the rebellion were rough, but…compared to my mother, my pain was minimal…A small tear runs down my cheek as I think of my mother who I hardly remember…
"So that's it?" Han asks. He stares at it. "You never told me your mother was a Queen."
I too, am in shock. I heard my title was "Princess" Because they were trying to pass me off as the Princess of Alderaan. "I-I didn't know…I only knew she was a senator…"
There are so many things I never knew about her. So many things she could have told me if she lived. Why did she have to die? Why?
I am starting to cry. "Han…hold me." I ask. And I pour out my sorrow into my husbands shoulder.
"Ani, look!" The woman holds out her right hand, where a gold band is secured on her 4th finger.
"Do you see this?" She asks, tears streaming down her face. "I have never taken it off, not once from the moment you gave it to me…"
I jerk awake. It takes me only a second to identify the person in the dream, my mother. She was showing Ani her wedding ring, the one she had never taken off…
Speaking of the wedding ring, they had never found it. I am told that she said she wanted to give it to me, but after she died, they couldn't find it. I wonder where it went…
A loud snore from Han interrupts my thoughts. I probably would have thought twice about marriage if I had known he snored before hand. At least he didn't ask to make good use of this bed after we got back from the grave. To tell the truth, I really wasn't in the mood by then.
I just wonder…what would have happened…if my father had never gone over to the darkside? Luke and I would have grown up brother and sister, we would have learned our powers, I would have known my mother, he would have known his father…
I know there is no hope for that now, but I still wonder…
There is a noise out in the hall. "Padmé?" A male voice asks.
"Ani!" A female voice squeals in joy.
Wait…Did I just hear what I thought I heard? That can't be possible…my parents are dead!
"I can't believe you're finally back!" The woman continues. "It has been so long…"
"I know, I know. It has been too long. I won't leave for that long again. I promise."
I heard them again. This is just too weird. Unless I am hearing things, I would swear that they are right outside my door. I have to investigate…
I get up from the bed and cautiously go to the door. Taking a deep breath, I turn the handle. Slowly I walk outside. I don't see anyone in the hallway, but…I have to take a look.
I slowly walk along the hallway, until I see a blue light. With a small gasp, I look at it…and see the ghost like images of two people embracing. I hide behind a curtain as I look on them. The man is tall and blond, with jedi robes. The woman is dark haired and shorter, and she is hugging him like she hadn't seen him in years.
No doubt about it. I am looking on the ghosts of my parents. But…what is going on? Why didn't I ever see them before?
"Ani…can you promise me that you'll never be separated from me again?" My mother asks.
He nods. "Yes, Padmé, now that everything is done…we can finally be together forever…"
"Forever…" She repeats, with a happy look on her face. "I waited for you for so long…I was worried if you would ever come back to me."
He gives a small laugh. "You couldn't keep me away even if you tried. But now I'm back…and I'm never leaving you."
My mother looks back at him, taking his hand. "Let's go, Ani. Let us be together…together for all eternity." They turn, and walk towards a white light.
No! Wait! "Mummy!" I cry, running towards her. "Wait, Mummy!" Just like I did when I was young… "Don't leave!"
The man and the woman turn back to me, with surprised looks on their faces…everything is getting blurry…
I jerk awake for what seems like the second time this night. I look around me, just to be sure. I am still in the bed, with Han snoring beside me. It takes me a second to stop panting. So it was a dream…I dreamed I saw my parents leave for the land of the dead…
I close my hand into a fist. Why did they have to leave! They could have said goodbye or—
I feel something in my fist…wait…what is that? I open my fist and look into its…its…my mother's wedding ring.
I hold it up to the light. How did I get this? I was told it was lost…
Suddenly, two faint figures appear in a corner of my room…my mother…and my father…She holds up her right hand. On her 4th finger is a ghostly version on the ring I am holding. My mother and father stare at me with a look of affection I have never seen…a look of parents proud of their child…
"Leia…" My mother says in a voice that brings back memories. "Do not cry about the past. That was my mistake. You need to think about the future…your future…do not cry for me…work on your life, and live it to the fullest."
I do not know what to say…all I manage to get out is, "Goodbye Mummy, and…" I look over at the man beside her. "Father…"
They both smile. "Goodbye, my daughter. I shall watch you always." My mother says.
"May the force be with you." My father adds.
Slowly, they fade away.
I sigh and look back down at the ring. My mother is right…I cannot think too much on the past. I have my future to think about…my future with Han…
I put the ring on the bedside table. I finally know the story of my mother, her tragedy, her sorrow, her trials and suffering…yet there was happiness, in the end…
My mother and father were not allowed to be together in life. Yet they can live together forever in death. Together forever…
Author's Note: Yes, it is finally over! Now for my end of story speech!
This story was made as sort of a sequel/prequel (whatever you would call it) to my first SW story, Mixed Emotions. It was made to celebrate the coming of the new movie (YAY, CAN'T WAIT!) This was also a chance for me to explore the angst genre, of sadness and whatnot. I have to say, it turned out better than expected! With a lot of reviews I didn't expect! So I thank all of you:
suckr4romance81789 - For writing reviews since the 1st chap!
veralidaine tinuviel - For your good humored reviews.
Organa46 - For keeping me in line with the Star Wars story.
LVB - For your encouragement.
Padawan Sydney Bristow - For cheering me on as I tried to get this finished on time.
Lelen - For keeping me updating on a regular basis.
And to Shorty51, me, liz, Jokerisdaks, nature, MEL, eomlas, suspensegirl, miss kilis wale, Redneck626Arya4LayaSparrow, arliddian, Encouragedtolove, KDSkywalker, meyarose, gauss1.
May the force be with you!
Next 2 stories: (Yes, I am being an idiot and working on 2 at the same time again!)
It's Not Like You'll Marry Me! – Sequel to my RH romance, It's Not Like You're In Love With Me!
Heiress of Port Royal – Sequel to my PotC AU (romance, what else?), Heir of the Black Pearl
Hope to see some of you guys there! Au revoir! Bye now!