Aragorn: So, what was your worst day ever like?
Legolas: Well…are you sure you want to hear this?
Aragorn: (evil grin) Oh, yes, indeed I do.
Legolas: All right.
It all started when I woke up suddenly in the early morning and thought that squirrels were taking my blanket. I was half-dreaming at the time. Anyway, I started yelling, and I quote, "Give me my blanket, stupid squirrels! You can't eat it! I am the King Squirrel and this is MY hat! I will make laws prohibiting the sun from setting in Emyn Muil if you don't let me eat the candy. I swear I am a frog! Don't give me that, you insolent fool! Of course frogs wear pants!" (In case you're wondering, this is a very clear memory for me)
Anyway, I suddenly stopped and looked around, realizing that I was standing on my bed, wearing pajama pants and wildly waving a blanket. I lay down, hoping nobody had heard me, but I heard stifled snorts and giggles from the rooms nearby.
An hour later, it got even better. I got out of bed, tripped, and landed face-first on my muddy boots, then heated the water for my bath WAY too much. Next, my brush was missing, and someone had thoughtfully forgotten to put the towels away—in fact, I couldn't find any.
When I finally got dressed, I didn't realize that my shirt was on backwards, and I had forgotten to wipe the mud off my forehead. I walked out the door and tripped again, just as this beautiful elf-woman came down the hall. She laughed at me and I blushed. It was horrible.
For breakfast we had…nothing. I had slept in too late. I managed to grab a roll for lunch, since Father made me go change my shirt (it was backwards, remember?) and wipe off my face.
I accidentally let the dogs out of their kennel and forgot to pay the merchant from Laketown. The dogs ran through all the gardens and crushed my aunt's flowers.
As I walked down to the stream, my hair got caught on an overhanging branch and messed up horribly. Then I tore my cloak and stepped on my finger when I laced up my boots.
Dinner was anchovies and bread—yuck!
Finally, I got caught in the rain after dinner, and Father told me that we had company—my annoying cousins. My cousin's friend, Bethre, is the ugliest Elf you've ever seen, Aragorn, if an Elf can be ugly. I swear she's in love with me. She kept batting her eyes at me, and she sat RIGHT next to me, patting my shoulder oh-so-sweetly when I told her that my day had been bad.
When I finally escaped her and went back to my room, I lay down on something wet. Something else wet hit me between the eyes.
It was raining and there was a leak.
heehee (evil laughter) no jk I love Legolas (though not obsessively) and I absolutely love any kind of humor/parody of LOTR (PLEASE tell me someone out there has read the Harvard Lampoon's Bored of the Rings, a work of genius...). Please R and R! Thanks much!
inima de la Tara