Robin is owned by DC of course. It was planned for just a one off story but as people seemed to like it I thought I would continue it. I would like to thank Cmar for beta-reading this chapter and the previous few chapters and all the reviewers. All reviews welcome!
Chapter Five - Robin's advice or how to lose three dates in one night
I race around the side of the building. I need to get these three people to first of all not see me and second of all get them to dump me in double quick time. I hide behind a hedge. I need to get her attention. I pick up a small pebble and throw it at the head of the girl I somehow got a date with. I don't even know her name? She immediately collapses to the ground. Oops. I knocked her out. Hmm. Possibly the pebble was a little too big. I look at the ground. There is a small piece of gravel here. I throw it at Phil's head. He turns around and waggles his eyebrows at me when he sees me.
He sashays over to me. "Timmy darling." He throws his hands in the air. He tries to grab my face to kiss me.
I duck back and say. "Phil! Listen, I'm sorry about this. I haven't come out yet. My parents don't know about this. My friends don't know about this. I'm not ready to come out of the wardrobe…"
"Closet," he says.
"Closet! Closet! Yes, I'm not ready to do that."
"I can always give you lessons," he purrs.
"No! No! That's fine. We'll give it a miss today!"
"Okay…" He gives me a shrewd look. "Okay. I'll be waiting for you when you are ready to come out. In fact…" He rubs his finger of my chest. "I can always come in the closet with you till you are ready to come out."
"No! NO!" I say rather too loudly. "Thanks Phil. Bye. Bye!"
Phil walks away. I breathe a sigh of relief. Just Bethany to go. There is no-one else I am meant to be meeting here. I walk up to Bethany. There is one approach that always works. Come on too strong. Scare her off. I smile to myself. Stalker approach.
"Bethany!" I open my arms and stand their waiting for her to hug me. "I have missed you so much…" I let her go. "I've written a poem to describe my love for you…" I stand back and strike a heroic pose. To be honest quite easy for me. It is my evening job after all.
"Let the Gods speak softly of us.
For we should not make much of a fuss
We are both of us in deep deep love
We should be flying like a dove
We'll spend an eternity together." I give a dramatic pause and throw my arms open while I try to think of a word that rhymes with together.
"And spend every night encased in leather!" Possibly not the best choice of words. I give myself a contented little smile. If that won't scare her off, nothing will.
She stands there, hands clasped to her bosom and she is sobbing. Sobbing! Good, made her cry. She will be ditching me now. I wait. Any second now. I still wait. Yep here comes the "Let's be friends speech." I try to look heartbroken.
"Timmy, that was the most beautiful poem anyone has ever said to me."
I mentally slap myself. Nope, that didn't work. I head-butt a lamppost. Ouch! Mental note, don't head-butt the lamppost again.
She grabs my arm. "Come on, Timmy. Let's go in to the prom."
Okay, plan B. Total wuss behaviour. "Okay, whatever you want to do."
"Should we line up in this line or the other?" she says, pointing at the lines to go into the prom.
"Whatever one you think is best."
"Okaaaay," she says slowly and looks at me. "What are your interests? You know, just trying to make conversation."
Bingo! "I like painting walls and watching them dry. Did you know all the different stages paint drying goes through? From sodden to tacky to soaked. All the way through to dry." I get a piece of paper out of my pocket. "I've got a few words on it here actually…"
"No. No!" she says. "I think I might have made a mistake here…"
"What do you mean? No, of course you haven't…" I put my hand to my mouth and breathe on it. Then I sniff it. I breathe in her face. "Does my breath smell to you?"
I start sniffing under my armpit and pull a face. "Do I have a body odour problem?"
Jake is just walking up to the prom behind me. "Why don't you try Jake out?"
"Yes I will! Jake! Jake!"
He raises his eyebrows to me and says "Hey!" to her.
Right good. I race round the back of the building to where I left Mathilda. I had pushed her through this toilet window. I cartwheel through the small window to land… Right in the u-bend. Oh well, my shoes needed a cleaning anyway. Now where is Mathilda? There she is! Sitting on the toilet crying. Why is she crying? I'm the one who has had all the hard work to do!
"Mathilda! Sorry about all this," I said.
"Okay… Where have you been?"
"You know, just saving the world. Let's you and me go to the prom." I hold my arm out and she grabs it and pulls me back. "What are you doing?"
"If you think I am going to the prom or anywhere else with you after the way you have treated me…"
"What do you mean the way I have treated you?"
"You wrecked my house."
"You pushed me through a toilet window."
"Also correct. Is this going anywhere?" I look at my watch and sigh.
"And now you think we can just walk into the prom as if nothing had happened?"
"Correct. Come on, let's go…" I open the door and walk straight into the middle of the girls' toilets. There is a chorus of screams and girls running back and forth. Haven't they ever seen a man before? I grab Mathilda and walk through the throng and into the prom. The room is a heaving mass of couples dancing and kissing. I glance at Mathilda and point at the dance floor. "Shall we?"
She smiles at me and takes my arm. At last the night looks like being fun…