Chapter One: Going Up?

(Erik is standing in an elevator, hands together, watching the floors go by)

Erik: God, this music sucks…Why am I stopping?

(The elevator stops and Carlotta strides in)

Erik: (mumbling) Damn…

Carlotta: Tree, pleez.

Erik: What?...Oh, do you mean the third floor?

Carlotta: Yes, you ideeot!

Erik: mumble mumble…toad…

(He presses button, but is stopped again at another floor…)

Erik: (checking watch) I'm gonna be late… This music is REALLY awful.

Meg: Oh, hello.

(Walks strangely onto the elevator, feet slanted outwards)

Erik: Why do you walk like that?

Meg :(softly) Because it's ballerina-like… walking…Oh! Joel Shumacher made me do it!

Erik and Carlotta: I can't hear you, speak up.

(The elevator stops again…don't worry, I'm going somewhere with this)

Erik: Oh my God. I'm only trying to get to the first floor! I'll Punjab the next person who-

Christine: Hello!

Erik: Never mind.

Raoul: (popping out from behind her) Hiya peoples!

Erik: Crap.

Raoul: AAHHH! Christine, save me! (He hides under her dress)He'll call me a fop!

Christine: No, he won't (She gives Erik a LOOK OF DEATH)

Erik :(crosses fingers) No, I won't.

(The door closes)

Erik: This music is annoying. (To Raoul) I feel the need to be mean to you.

Raoul: Christiiine….

Erik: Fop.

Raoul:(Bouncing up and down and pointing an accusing finger at Erik) He said it!

Christine: Erik!

Erik: Tattle tail!

Raoul:(sticks out tongue)

(Time passes and Raoul notices the buttons)

Raoul: Oooooo….pretty colors… (He presses all of them)

Erik:(standing there, raising an eyebrow)

Raoul: (a la "Elf") It looks like a Christmas tree!

(Suddenly, intense music pours into the elevator as the light flicker on and off and it…STOPS)

Raoul:(jumping into Christine's arms like a familiar cartoon character) Rah! Ristine! Ruh relerator ropped!

Christine: JINKIES!

Carlotta: What 'as 'appened! What eez going on!

Meg: the mumble…. have..mumble…mumble…

All: WHAT!


(Christine screams, Carlotta faints, Meg is gasping for air, and Raoul is…fixing his hair?)

Raoul: Brusha, brusha brusha…

Erik:(covering his ears) I'm surrounded by idiots!(music in elevator grows louder)


(Everyone quiets down)

Raoul: Grumble…Stupid knots!

(A/N- Please read and review! This is my first comedy fic. The reason I wrote it was because over the weekend, some hockey players got stuck in an elevator and they had to delay the game to get them out. There were firemen with axes coming into the building. I was screaming to my friend, "They're gonna break down the door!" It was utter panic. Anyway….hope you enjoy it! RR!