Love Hina: Deserted
OK, I started writing a FanFiction ages (almost two years) ago, and never got around to writing any more than two chapters. After stumbling upon it again, and feeling guilty after seeing comments requesting more, I decided to re-write it, this time making sure that it will not die. My writing should have improved, which is a bonus!
This time I am hoping to have a lot more detail, and overall a better story. I hope you enjoy it. If you do, please comment, constructive criticism is also welcome. All writers have egos the size of the sun, so please help me out!
This is set many years after the Ending of Love Hina Again, This doesn't follow the manga so they are not married, I have read, and do prefer, the manga but it's better for me to follow the anime here.
Oh, and Insert Disclaimer Here.
Down and out...
It was cold and wet. The sky was grey and thunder could be distantly heard. Animals of all shapes and sizes moved to cover. Humans were no exception, with people rushing to get to the warmth of their homes. One man was huddled in the corner of a small path, near a small park, against some iron bars near where a statue rose out of the ground. This provided shelter from one direction at least, even if the railings dug into his back, and left long rusty streaks on his, already dirty, shirt. He had stubble covering his face, and a small hat, making his entire face dark, he pulled an old and scratchy green woollen blanket further over himself and tried to position his waterproof jacket so as little as possible of the blanket, and him, were exposed to the rain. These things were all he had.
Shinobu rushed along, wanting to get out of the rain. She had her umbrella – but unfortunately the wind blew the rain near-horizontally – so she got wet anyway. She didn't pause at the park, but still looked at the swings, reminiscing slightly. Soon she stumbled out and turned the corner, and, to her surprise, seeing a tramp – at first she was instinctively scared, pulling away slightly, then she saw a little cat rush under the cover of the tramp's blanket – she subconsciously expected him to kick it, and was surprised when he covered it more, and gave it something small to eat. Shinobu then felt slightly ashamed, she was heading to a warm – not to mention brand new – home, and this man was living like this, and she had simply been scared – presuming him to be a bad person. When had she lost faith in humanity? She reached in to her pocket and discreetly took out her purse, taking out a bit of money, and walked forward, tapping the man on the shoulder and putting out her hand with the money in. Maybe she could give someone else some faith in it.
The man was sat as he had been, finally a bit more comfortable in a good position against the bars, when he noticed a small cat tentatively coming towards him. He ushered it in, closing the blanket on it more, laughing a little when it shook to try and get dry, then gave it a little food. He sat back, thinking of the irony of him helping something in the same position as him, even though he couldn't help himself. He was slightly shocked when someone tapped him on the shoulder, and turned to see who it was. As he turned he saw the glint of money and started to speak. "Thank You, but don't worry, I can manage.", then stopped in shock as he saw who stood before him.
Shinobu was surprised when she heard that voice... It meant something to her, she just couldn't pinpoint it. She heard him say "Don't worry, I can manage", and it sounded as if he was going to continue, but he didn't, so she turned to walk off, dropping the money into his lap – she was giving him the money – didn't he know it was rude to refuse it?
He saw her turn on this. It was her. "Shinobu Maehara?"
Shinobu turned swiftly in shock, her skirt flapping out, her hair in tandem with it, staring at him. She did know that voice...
OK, I'm taking a slightly different tack this time, which is pretty obvious considering it's twice as long as the last first chapter, and yet ends at halfway through it :P
I might make the following chapters longer, but I felt for dramatic reasons this was a good point at which to cut.
Please consider reviewing if you have read and enjoyed this, we writers live for it :P