Standerd diclaimer. I don't own the charators or universe this occurs in. And I am making no money off of this. Now let the fic begin!
Beka walked into her cabin on the Maru and sank down onto the bed. Slumping forward, she rested her chin in her hands and glazed at the picture-covered wall in front of her. Pictures of her family adorned the wall. The photos of her father, Rafe, Trance, Rev and Harper looked back out at her, but she didn't see them. She knew that the depression she felt was irrational, but she couldn't shake it.
Today was supposed to be her day. It was Feb the 14 by the old Earth calendar, Valentines Day, her day. Harper had long ago told her and the crew about an old Earth holiday named after a Saint that had the same last name as her and declared that, as an obvious descendant of the man, Feb 14th was her holiday. The crew would go around laughing and saying "Happy Valentine's Day" to each other all day long. Beka would find little notes from them throughout the day and sometimes candy, which she would share with everyone. Although she was the newest member of the Maru crew, Trance had joined in with a will, poking her head into the control room to scream "Happy Valentines Day, Beka Valentine", then laughing as she ducked back out.
Even after joining with the Andromeda, her old crew had kept up the game. They had kept it secret from the others, just a private celebration among themselves. They would whisper "Happy Beka Valentine's Day" to themselves and surprise those not in the know by bursting into giggle or laughing. Beka would find little notes or a small piece of candy in different places. On one memorable occasion, a large piece of Castilian Rock Candy had fallen from the overhead lights when she reconfigured her station on the Andromeda for slip-drive.
But this year there was nothing. No notes, no whispered greetings. She told herself that they were part of a crew now and the others were to busy in their new lives to bother with such childish games anymore. But still, she felt disappointed and a little hurt.
"Face it, Valentine", she told herself. "You feel more than just a little bit hurt. Which is just stupid and silly. The whole idea of 'Valentine's Day' was ridiculous to begin with".
With a sigh, Beka stretched out on her bed. As her head hit the pillow, she heard a slight crackling sound. Sitting back up, she turned the pillow over and found an envelope that had been hidden there. The envelope had "Valentine" written across it in a handwriting she knew well.
Beka smiled as she opened the envelope and took out the papers within. At least one person had remembered her day.
Please, just read this through to the end. That's all I ask.
Have you ever thought about the men you've hooked up with in the past? The type of men you seem drawn to? You always go for the big handsome guys, the ones with lots of muscles and perfect teeth. It's like your always searching for some type of perfect Greek god.
Well, I came from Earth, where the legend of the whole Greek God thing started. I grew up with tales of the old gods. And let me tell you, the Greek Gods were far from perfect. But they were also petty and cared about no one but themselves. All they cared about was bedding the first good-looking human they saw. And they didn't care how they messed up everyone's live doing it. Then, after they got what they wanted, they just got up and walked away; leaving the lowly humans to try and deal with the mess they left behind. Then, if you were really lucky, they just forgot about you and never returned. If you were incredibly unlucky, they came back and made your life a living hell.
Think of all the men in your life. Greek Gods, all of them. Sure, it's great to be the girlfriend of a Greek God. But, once they get what they want from you, they always walk away and leave you behind. Or worse, like Bobby, stay around and make your life hell.
Given the choice between you and the jewel,. Laydon dropped you like a hot potato. I've seen how you look at Tyr when you think no one is looking., how you always make sure to schedule your workout sessions so you "accidentally"get to work out with him.. Sure, Tyr enjoys it and plays the game right back up to you. But he's a Neitzschean. You know he's just in it for fun. He's said a thousand times he wants a Neitzschean woman to rebuild his pride with.
And Dylan. Now he's a piece of work. You've torn your heart out over him. But the last and maybe only person he loved was Sarah.. Even when she was alive, she was never the most important thing in his life. Being a High Guard officer was and still is the most important thing to him. Dylan's dedicated his life to rebuilding the Commonwealth. Everything he does and feel revolves around that. There seemed to be something starting up between you two in the beginning, but face the facts Beka. Once he was sure that your were in your place as his second in command and working to help him achieve his goal of rebuilding his precious Commonwealth, he forgot all about you as a person. To him, we're all just crewmembers. And a Commonwealth captain never gets romantically or physically involved with his crew. You deserve better than that. Not just from Dylan, but from all of them. But that's just the way Greek Gods are.
Sure, a lot of us ordinary men act like this as well. But not all of us do.
Take Rev as an example. Rev was never like that. OK, Rev was a Magog; probably not the best example to use.
Then take me. I'm not like that. I know you Beka. I know where you've been and where you want to go. I know what you want from life and how little you've gotten from it. I'm not a God, Beka. I would never use you like they have.
Till now, I've always been happy to walk behind you as you went though life. But I don't want to be walking behind you anymore. I want to walk with you, facing what's ahead together.
I would never desert you or leave you, Beka. I never told you, but I've had plenty of opportunities to leave in the past. I'm good at what I do. Every time I did a job for someone so we could get the parts to keep the Maru flying or to eat until your next score came along, I was offered that option. I've been offered more money than you could ever offered to leave you and go work permanently for them. And a lot of the women Captains offered more incentive than that. And some of the male Captains as well. But I turned them all down, because I wanted to stay with you.
Beka, you treat me like you kid brother. But I'm not a kid, Beka. And I'm not your brother. I'll never be the type of God you've been looking for. I'm just a man. A man who wants to be with you. A man who wants to stand and face the future with you. A man who loves you.
There, I've said it. I've wanted to for a long time. But I'm so afraid of how you'll react. I don't want to lose you. And I don't know if you could ever love me back. But I can't go on being just your kid brother anymore.
I should be telling you this in person, but I couldn't face looking into your eyes and seeing revulsion or pity in them.
If you want to talk to me, you know where to find me.
Harper sat on a cot he had set up in Machine Shop#3. This was his sanctum, the place he went when he needed to unwind or just be by himself. Half a dozen projects he was working on were scattered about the place. He had puttered around and tried working on a few, but he was too nervous to concentrate on what he was doing. Finally, he had given up on trying to occupy himself and just sat there worrying about what was happening with Beka. Different scenarios went though his head: Beka hadn't read the letter yet, Beka had read the letter and thrown it out in disgust, and on and on in a parade of possible disasters.
The Machine Shop door suddenly open and Beka stepped inside. She stood just within the doorway and looked at Harper. Harper peered at her face, trying to figure out what she was thinking. Beka stood as though she was at attention, her spine straight as a ramrod, her face completely expressionless. Her eyes gave Harper no sign of what she was thinking or feeling.
She held Harper's letter up and said "Harper, I think we should talk".