Feelings

By: Beyond-The-Veil

Jonas looked out into the dark blue sky and wondered if he would ever get the chance to do something that nobody has ever done before. He was still thinking about going out of the Community with Gabe, he was going to do it tomorrow. He was going to take his father's bike and run off with Gabe. But something was stopping his from going. What was stopping him?

Love.

He knew from the moment he knew about the word "love" he knew he felt it for one of his best friends, Number Eighteen, which happened to me Fiona. He loved watching her in school, as he biked down to The Giver. He just loved to talk to her and be with er whenever he could be. He wished there could be more.

He had more memories before he was gone. They were about love, he had asked the Giver about love so he had given many memories, about young couples and he knew that if he was in a normal boy who had Christmas and could see colors whenever he wanted to then he could see him and Fiona "dating" or "seeing each other". He wished that he could do that now. But it was out of rules, he knew he could do it. He could get himself out of it but he knew Fiona didn't know anything about it either. About Love and how the Community really works.

"Jonas!" a female voice said from behind him. Jonas turned away from the river which he had to pass tomorrow. He saw Fiona, her red hair flying behind her. She looked sad and confused, he could tell. She now stood right in front of him.

"What's wrong Fiona? You look like you got dumped." Then Jonas almost hit himself in his head but he had said it and she would be confused.

"Dumped?" she asked confusedly. Jonas waved a hand away as if to forget what he had just said. Fiona could tell something was even wrong with Jonas, she knew him almost like a book. "What's wrong with you?" she asked.

Jonas looked in her green blue eyes and smiled.

"Nothing you would understand." He said and sat by the riverbank.

"I apologize for asking," she said. She waited for a few seconds but he didn't give her a apology though. "Uh, Jonas?" Jonas looked up and she furrowed her eyebrow. "You forgot to say—"

"Oh, I don't care about that anymore," he said and patted the grass near him. "Sit with me please," he asked her. She was startled by his answer but sat down beside him and put her hands in her lap and looked into the sky.

Fiona could feel Jonas' eyes on her and she knew she hadn't told him what was wrong with her. She ran up here to tell him something she found out. She didn't know how to say it though. But she felt him staring at her and she couldn't take it anymore. She looked at his gray eyes, like everyone's, except his were more beautiful of course.

"Do you take your pills?" She asked him. This was not what Jonas expected. But he knew he had to tell the truth to her, especially her. His stirrings were all of her of course, she should know more than anyone.

"I haven't since I began training to be the next Receiver of Memory…why do you ask?" He asked her suspiciously. Fiona's cheeks became a red color. He knew the word as blushing. He also knew that she was embarrassed by it but…she wasn't supposed to be feeling this…was she...is she allowed too also?

"I' haven't taken my pills for a very long time…it was the day before I went in that Training building actually. I…liked the dreams I had…I don't know how—"

"You liked them?" she nodded. "What do you feel when you have these dreams about…this person." Who I wish is me, he wished to himself.

Fiona shrugged. "I really don't know. I apol—"

"Don't apologize; it's stupid for doing it." Fiona's eye widened and Jonas knew he was giving out to much information about his world.

"Are you allowed to lie?" Fiona asked him quickly. He almost didn't get what she said until he asked her to say it again more slowly, she did hesitantly and Jonas couldn't believe it. She could lie just like him…like The Giver…and his 'Father'.

"Yes, I am. Are you?" she nodded. "Do you lie often?" she nodded shamefully. "Do you lie to me?" he asked her. She looked at him and she shook her head. She smiled though. "So, whatever I ask you…will you lie to me?"

"Of course not Jonas…I couldn't do that to my friend." Fiona smiled and moved closer to him to him begin questioning her like a Three or Two.

"Do you know what it really is …Release?" That took her off guard, but she did shake her head. She didn't quite get it. It sounded awful when she did that needle and the blankets. "Do you know what elsewhere is actually?" She shook her head. "Well…I know you can keep a secret then…will you?" She nodded bravely.

After an hour or so Jonas told her everything. He told her what Releasing them; he told her how they kill babies and anyone else. But first she had to tell her about dying. She didn't give her memories, Jonas could not handle if she started drying, like she couldn't or if she would get hurt while watching it. Jonas told her about what he was going to do tomorrow and make the Community suffer like he had too to show them what life out there is...Jonas watched Fiona the whole way as he told her all of this.

Jonas could see that Fiona understood a lot of the things he told her. He even transmitted a memory to her, the first he ever got. The snow, sled and the white color around him/her. Fiona, as she got up from the memory turned to smile at him and he knew that she understood and believed in him.

"What's love?" She asked suddenly as they began walking down the river, where Jonas' bike laid. Jonas turned to her and felt a steaming rise in his stomach. She looks so beautiful. How do I tell her about love?

"Love?" she nodded her pretty little head. "Love is...a deep feeling; you sometimes feel it with your family unit, like your new brother Bruno. There are other types of love like for friends, like you love Asher as a friend, like I do." He then looked into her eyes. "Then there is love that you feel with someone your age...someone you want to grow old with...have kids with and stay with them for the rest of your life side-by-side. Do you know what I mean?" She grinned and nodded.

They let the conversation drop for a minute. Jonas couldn't stop though; looking at her. He almost told her that he loved her like that. He did, he wanted to marry her, be her one and only spouse and never leave her side, ever. He wanted to have kids, maybe three or four at the most, but not too much. Then Fiona caught his eye, Jonas blushed, but Jonas smiled and looked away from her beautiful figure.

She looked at him oddly and displayed a weak smile. Jonas was now not looking at her but eh warm beautiful river, the dark was coming from the clouds, and they were moving away from them, only shadow following them. "Don't you think today is beautiful?" he asked her, she only nodded and looked at the ground in front of her.

Jonas stopped walking, and so did Fiona. She just looked away from him though. But he stared at her. "Beautiful like you," He finished. She looked up at him and smiled with eagerness. I want to so much touch her face and her red lips. I know I should but...Jonas did it at the exact moment he thought of it. Jonas took his hand from his warm pocket and began to touch her beautiful face. Fiona was surprised and watched him intently. She felt something in her heart...like something fluttering.

Jonas saw a blush creep on her face but he didn't stop touching her soft skin on her right cheek. Fiona lowered her head, he thought in embarrassment. He stopped caressing her cheek and went to her touch her soft red hair, exact color as her face; He though went to the closest to her face. Her eyes widened and looked at him. She was going to stop him from touching her like this.

Jonas knew what was happening. The Giver told him of these "hormones" like he was having then.

He didn't stop when he lowered his head to hers and captured her lips in his. He was especially surprised when she tried to kiss back. It was their first kiss...and Fiona's first rule she broke. She kissed someone...but most of all...she loved someone/

Fiona was the one who pulled away from the soft quick kiss. Jonas watched her as he opened his eyes.

"I'm so—"

"What was that?" She asked him.

"It was a kiss,"

"I know what it was...but my heart." She tried explaining but she couldn't put it in words. Jonas just smiled.

"That's what love feels like Fiona."