"Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking." - Henry Louis Mencken
Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII is property of Square-Enix. I write this for my own enjoyment, and intend no infrigement or profit.
Summary: Some people just can't catch a break in life. For Sephiroth, the poster boy for Murphy's Law and the universe's personal chew-toy, it seems that breaks come as rarely as haircuts, as he's chosen by the Planet to redeem himself for his past transgressions - whether he actually wants to or not. Rejoice.
Am I wrong for wanting to put a humorous spin on this whole thing? I mean, honestly now. I've seen plenty of "Sephiroth returns from the dead to save the world and redeem himself" fics thus far, and a fair share of them are serviceable, and some are actually quite good. However, I've always felt that poor old Seph could use a little humor in his life, and let's face, after dying twice and coming back a third time, you'd think he would begin to notice how hopelessly screwed he is. Besides, he's got to be smart enough to recognize the irony in his situation.
Well, anyway, this was inspired by the fic "Why Waist Length?" written by Silver Pard, and has got to be one of the most utterly hysterical stories I've ever read. I highly recommend you reading it. 'Tis funny. :D Anywho, on with the show.
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