People say you're greasy but I think you're really buff,

People always turn their heads, but I cannot get enough,

Most people like Legolas but its you whom I prefer,

You sexy little wormy, Rohirrim counsellor.

Some may think you're weak, I think you are tough,

I'll say it is snowing, when my friends say its dandruff,

My sister thinks I am stupid, and she calls me a silly freak,

'Cos I like your choice of clothes, I think it's very chic.

Why pick Eowyn? When you could have me?

I will wash your hair! Even your hanky,

I'll forgive you for the thing that you had with Saruman,

'Cos the candlestick holding fetish, is where it all began...