I am sorry to inform you that in your hands/moniter, lies a story of mysery and woe. Only to the person reading that is. You see, these are tales about the life and life after death of a happy man, who was born ibnto this world thanks to the relationship between two woman. The two woman belonged to a tribe that did not have male decendants for decades, correction, GENERATIONS. So you can feel, see, and hear the excitement of the day this peice of male flesh entered the world, which is where our story begins.
"Kotake! I think I feel tenticles!" cried a excited middle aged woman. She belonged to the Gerudo tribe, which have long waited the birth of a son.
"NO! You're lying! Let me feel it.." said another lady.
"You feel it?"
"Hold on.. I'm feelin' one... TWO! Oh my LORD! It's a male!"
"I never thought this day would ever come!"
"Koume! I am SO excited!", Kotake, the other fellow middle aged lady commented. "We need to show the world this boy named... NAMED..."
"I know, lets name him Muhammad.. Muhammad Ali"
"Ah! Splendid! However.. What's Muhammad Ali mean? After all, our tribe only names names that are real words combined together to form a name whilch represents our babies.."
"Umm...", Kotake was craddling the child in her arms. "Why is he.. so.. green?"
"All Gerudo's are green my friend/new found mate", Koume replied.
"Yeah, but we aren't.. that green.. are we!"
"Umm... OH GOD! NO! NO! THIS CAN NOT BE!"
"I Ko..Ko.. Ko take... He... I.. He.. Got.. He.. I... He... I... He... Giot... Kote.. He... I..."
SLLAAAPP! "SPIT IT OUT WOMAN!", Kotakes rough hand scraped against Koume's cheek. (NOT BUTT-CHEEK! That would not make sence.. however it did make sence 9 months ago.."
"Kotake...", Koume had blood running out of her mouth. She was internally bleeding, after the simple form of physical harassment Kotake had let out moments before. "The boy.. the.. boy... Hes.. He's got.. Symmaniconia.."(Don't you just find it funny when authors make up lame deseases names, and other names out of their top of their heads and call it a language to be serious about? cough harry potter cough cough expecto-patrona cough ha cough Its not leviosuh, its LEVIOSAH cough cough)
"SYMMANICONIA! You mean.. HE's ... GAY?!"
"Shh! Not a word is to be said Koume, not a word! We cannot let the tribe hear about this!"
"Kotake, we can NOT keep this secret from them, don't you remember what they did to Hilary Duff when they found out she had symmaniconia!"
"Yes Koume, I remember it quite clearly.." Kotake shivered. "But Koume, we must!"
"NO!" Koume fought back. "We will not tell them ANYTHING, and that is final!"
"Alright, but we must atleast tell them this boy is alive right!", Kotake suggested.
Koume thought for a while.. "No, no.."
"WHAT! Koume!" Kotake shouted.
"Hear me Koume, we will raise this child as a female being."
"Oh Kotake, I'm not sure.."
"Yes Koume, you see, once this infant reaches puberty, it's bound to be attracted to men, so therefore, if we disguise this baby as a female, the tribe will never find out."
"Kotake, its too risky.."
"Koume, I've thought about it, as long as well don't tell our child, or never let this child find out that dicks don't grow on woman, everything will be okay."
"... Okay... Okay, I'll follow along.. Promise me Kotake.. Promise me... Please... That no one will ever find out."
"I promise Koume, I promise."
after moments of complete silence -
"What shall we name this bo- ... girl?" Kotake asked.
"Umm... Well, a man is usually very strong and everything, so it should be some sort of a sassy name too... with alot of sissyness..."
"... How about... Ganondorf?"
"OH MY GOD THAT'S THE PERFECT NAME KOUME! EXELLENT! We can totally pull this off now!"
"Yes! HELLO WORLD our baby girl Ganondorf is born!"