Title: Taking the header...or staying the course
A/N: It's been years since I have written a Gilmore Girls piece.
A/N2: I always seem to have formatting issues these days...sorry.
Please Read: I had this posted previously as Romance / Angst but this one of only two chapters with any amount of angst in it. So I have changed it to Romance / Humor since it fits better. If you are just starting this story, just know I do a bit of angst but I like my happy endings.
Chapter 1: Taking a header
The gentle sound of breathing was so comforting it made Logan crazy. Rory's head was nestled on to his bare chest. It wasn't supposed to feel this comforting to have a girl in his arms. He wasn't supposed to want to be there in the morning to face the hard questions. He wasn't supposed to stare at the girl in his arms and hope upon hope that she didn't want to be rid of him.
Logan swallowed uncomfortably. He knew there was something different about Rory. He would even grudgingly admit in his own mind that he cared about her. But nothing could have prepared him for what happened once his clothes came off. He had burned for her and let her know it. He had given her several outs but there was no turning back. They had kissed and groped and all the fun stuff...but it all changed in a moment. Rory's body accepted him in and his world would forever be off kilter.
Rory moved slightly in her sleep alerting Logan once again to the situation that he now found himself. A long time ago a guy that he had always tried to emulate as the ultimate player became a boyfriend. As a teenager Logan had questioned his idol why he would abandon several women for just one. The older boy had smiled at him and told him he had met his match. As an after thought he said, "I knew I would never touch another woman, when I felt myself come home." The statement had always been a mystery until
"Hey," Rory whispered a little insecure.
"Hey," Logan said back with a genuine smile. He snuggled her closer to him kissing her forehead.
Rory sighed, "Were you leaving?"
Logan got worried, "No...Unless you want me to go?"
She shook her head, "No...It just seemed like you were twitching...unsure if I would be okay if you left."
He traced his fingers down her cheek, "There is no place I would rather be."
Logan felt distracted and antsy. He didn't know what to do.
"Is something wrong?" Rory asked timidly.
"What? No. Nothing's wrong," Logan said quickly.
She observed him a moment much to his discomfort. "Well then...is there something right?"
Rory smiled softly at his alarm. She appeared prepared to lead him through whatever oddity he was enduring. "You said there was nothing wrong...so I am taking you at your word. You however still seem to be lost in thought which begs the question, is the reason you are distracted because something is right?"
Logan sat up and looked at her with none of his normal confidence. "That...has never happened to me before."
"A...Logan...I know you aren't a virgin."
"That's not what I meant."
"Okay...so what did you mean?" she asked calmly.
He thought for a long while and then said, "I felt like I was coming home last night."
Pausing before speaking again he said, "Everything was as it was supposed to be. We were...Rory...that was..."
She took his hand and threaded their fingers...just like the night before. He had just sunk into her when his eyes had popped open with awe. He had nearly pulled away, but she had threaded their fingers together with one hand and gazed straight back at him. Logan was never so humbled and raw in his life. He knew she could really see him at that moment. He knew she could see his fear. But Rory had just tethered him to herself through their clutched hands and wide-open, innocent eyes. Rory's big blue eyes showed him her heart and soul. Logan realized that for the first time in his life he hadn't just had sex, he had made love to a woman. And now that woman was holding his hand again as he tried to pull away and hide, making her presence comforting, not oppressive.
Logan looked deeply into those baby blues again. "I don't know what to do here Rory. I half want to jump out of this bed, put on my clothes, and pray I never see you again."
Something happened in Rory's eyes that he couldn't place...it was some understanding that he couldn't grasp. "And the other half?" she whispered.
She rubbed her thumb on the side of his hand as she held it. "You said you half wanted to flee...there is only one conclusion what the other half can be. But I think you need to admit it to yourself first."
Rory held his eyes giving him all the encouragement he needed. "The other half wants to stay the course...and that...that's terrifying Ace."
Rory leaned him back against the bed again and settled her head against his shoulder once more. "Well the only thing you can do Master & Commander is make up a pro/con list."
"That is insane."
"That is how I ended up at Yale instead of Harvard...It is the Gilmore way. Give it a try."
"Pro for the Header category; I can stop feeling completely out of control and go back to care-free life."
"Okay," Rory agreed.
"Con to the Header list; I wouldn't be with my Ace anymore."
"True," she agreed. "Another pro?"
"I will have to watch my actions in the girls department."
"You mean you couldn't just sleep with anyone you choose," Rory chided. "What else?"
Logan thought, "Avoid the hell my buddies will put me through."
"Okay...that's three to one. Looks like this is a one night stand," she said with almost indifference.
"We haven't done the pro/ con list for the staying the course."
Rory seemed genuinely surprised that he brought it up. "Okay Pro."
"Rory Gilmore's presence."
"No...I want to stick to pro's right now."
"Its your list."
"Pro," Logan began again, "Exclusive rites to Rory Gilmore so no one else can touch her."
Rory raised an eyebrow, "What?"
"I hate watching other guys be anywhere near you."
"Yes, really... Pro... Waking up knowing that I'm where I am supposed to be."
Rory sighed, "Con...You can't sleep around anymore."
Logan looked her dead in the eye, "Pro...I will always have someone who keep me in line."
She spoke calmly, "Con...You won't be able to do as many outrageous things because of previous pro."
"Pro," he murmured emphatically, "I get the awesome gift of introducing Rory Gilmore to new experiences and get to re-experience the wonder in them because of her."
"Con...You will have to deal with those who will not like my presence cramping their style."
"Pro...I get a very clear picture of who my true friends are by who is happy that I found someone."
Logan could tell now Rory was the one that needed the convincing, not him. She thought he was going to leave...it was his way after all. He stared deep into her uncertain eyes.
"Pro...I get to make love and feel the rush I felt last night."
Rory rolled her eyes, "Con...you loose the ability to have sex with more flexible, more experienced, and more beautiful girls."
Logan looked at her in confusion, "That sounded an awful lot like an earlier mentioned Con...just with more refined insecurities listed."
"Well your pro was remarkably similar yet refined to one aspect of our relationship."
He looked at her, "First of all I want a chance to rebut the former Con... more flexible...not something that I have a thing for; more experienced...everything feels new with you and I like that. As for more beautiful... Ace, you are a knock out."
"No I'm not," she murmured turning her head. "There were a lot of girls 'on line' much more attractive than me."
Logan let go of her hand and cupped her face with both palms, "No one is more graceful, or elegant."
"That's not beautiful," she whispered trying to escape his gaze.
He shook his head, "Complimenting you on your attractiveness would be redundant. It is just a fact...besides your eyes are the most gorgeous things I have ever seen."
"My breasts are too small," Rory muttered.
Logan stared at her in confusion, "There is nothing wrong with your breasts...I promise. I spent a lot of time worshiping them earlier. I'd say I am an expert on the matter." Her cheeks turned a bit pink. He decided it might be time to sooth some of her insecurities big time. "I love the shine in your hair, the light in your eyes, even the pout of your lips. Your skin is so soft its like touching cashmere or suede. I love watching you move in a dress or skirt because how is accentuates your legs."
Rory was biting her lip when Logan carefully reached for her hand and laid it flat on his stomach. He covered her hand with his own and slowly dragged it beneath the sheets to where he wanted her again. "This," he husked in a low throaty tone, "is always present when you are." Her innocent eyes seemed to partially accept his words, but she drew her hand away from him.
Rory did not meet his eyes when she said, "Con... Rory Gilmore is a bastard with blue blood parents."
He winced hearing her refer to herself that way but knew she was correct in that some of the blue bloods would only see her as such. "Pro...Rory Gilmore is real."
"Con...Rory Gilmore deals with blue bloods. She does not want to become one."
Logan blinked several times, "What is that?"
"The truth...I have watched you and your friends belittle and condescend those who aren't old money... I don't want your world..."
Rory reached down and grabbed a t-shirt off the floor before putting it on and leaving the bed. "I said no strings attached as much for you as for me... You are fun and challenging and I like that. But being with your clique reminds me of what I was brought up to value in myself and in others. You have no idea how condescending your crew comes across... The truth is Logan you are someone that my grandparents would love me to be with for the sake of appearances. But see I don't want appearances."
"You would never be comfortable in Star's Hollow. You could never sit and listen to my best friends band without trying to buy them a gig or offer them to play at one of your parties. You couldn't go to my mom's inn and not try to bribe her with some mention in daddy's paper...You don't even own jeans..."
"Don't get me wrong. You do kind things and that is great...but is never out of your comfort zone. It is never something you have to put yourself out there for. You live in your privileged bubble and ignore the rest of the world. If a commoner intrigues you then you welcome them into your society. But otherwise you act as if you own the place. I have watched you look past people as if they didn't exist because they don't exist in your world."
Rory sighed deeply, "What is happening between us...what we have the potential to become is so tempting. I see you trying so hard to convince yourself that it is worth it to stay. But Logan, I don't want the world you are bringing me into. And while I adore you and love spending time with you, it is only a matter of time before the constraints of your bubble will become too tight and I will bail on you...I'm sorry."
Logan sat up in shock as he watched Rory mechanically put on clothes and throw together a bag. "Where are you going?" he whispered heart breaking before him.
He heard Rory sniffle and knew she was crying, "Go away for the weekend...I won't be able to watch you re-emerge on the scene. I won't be able to take backlash...so I'll go home. I will spend time in my world getting a kick out of our crazy grocer that had a contingency plan for when my mom and Luke broke up. I will enjoy the best coffee on the planet. I will go to the movies where it isn't even a real theatre. I will eat at diners that don't allow cell phones. And more than anything I will spend time with my mom...the unwed teenage mother that raised me on her own since she was sixteen with no help from her blue blood family because she didn't want to owe them anything...who were embarrassed by the one room we lived in at the inn my mom worked at as a maid. I can't expect you to even understand where I come from because you would never choose to be there. It is far easier to envelope me into your world...I just need to go."
"Are you taking a header on me Ace?" he tried to say soothingly.
She looked up with tears in her eyes and said, "I am trying to remain me...even if that means sacrificing us... and I hate that it has to be this way. I hate that I didn't see it coming. I hate that I can't change it."
"I have to."
Her chin quivered, "Because I like me Logan and I am becoming less me by the hour."
"Rory, I know what this is...this feeling...I know why I want to stick around for the first time ever. We are so close to it...don't leave when we could be so right," Logan pled.
She slipped on her shoes and grabbed the bag, "I know this feeling too...and I want it in the worst way. I have never experienced anything like last night either. But you are destined to have the family business and the wife that tolerate your affairs so she is kept comfortably in houses, cars, jewels, and clothes. You are destined to become your father and there in lies the problem. I don't love your father...I love you...I'm sorry. I want it to be different." With that Rory grabbed her keys and fled the room.
Logan put his face in his hands and felt tears on his cheeks. He drew on his clothes and asked himself the question: take a header or stay the course?
A/N: I know angsty...but I always have a happy ending.
Be a dear and REVIEW.