Author's Notes: This chapter is an "extra" ending, beyond what was depicted in the previous ending. It is only intended for Mature audiences, as it contains sexual content. I wrote this extra scene because I honestly felt that I could not do justice to Star's healing with only allusions/implications. The emotions, the feelings Starfire and Robin have in their hearts...it needed to be expressed, and that is what I've done here. Just keep in mind it's about LOVE, not 'sex.'
I avoided foul language and filth words like the plague, but needless to say the content of this chapter is for mature audiences only. Do not...I repeat, DO NOT continue reading if you have a problem with sexual content. You have been warned.
Innocence Lost by CidGregor
Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans.
Robin closed the door of his room and sat down on his bed, going over in his mind every detail of his talk with Starfire moments ago. It was a pleasant memory, of course, but there were parts of it that still bothered him; and most clear in his mind was the point where she had told him just how much it had hurt, being raped. Even in originally telling him what had happened, she'd never before shared details of the actual experience, nor had he asked for any. But when he heard her tell him of how much pain she'd felt…it made his heart ache and his blood boil at the same time.
He was already mad enough at Slade and his thugs for what they did to her, and hearing of the pain they caused her only made that anger worse. But to ruin her dreams…to make her think, even for a second, that the pain she'd felt was inescapable, no matter who she was with…he felt a hot, sick swoop of rage toward the thugs and Slade, and a terrible pity for Starfire. For all he knew, she might be so afraid of that pain returning that she would never want to be with anyone else.
Of course he'd done his best to tell her otherwise – that real Love was a beautiful, wonderful thing that true lovers shared – but he didn't know if she entirely believed him. He wished so badly that he could somehow prove to her the truth about it…but there wasn't much chance of that anytime soon, he told himself. He sure as hell wasn't about to go up to her and ask to prove it, unless he got the sudden urge to die of embarrassment; and she certainly wasn't about to knock on his door and…
Okay…that was decidedly odd, Robin admitted. He took a quick glance at himself in the mirror; he was still wearing the pants and boots of his costume, but he had already replaced the shirt and cape with his nightshirt, and his mask and gloves were still off. But he was at least presentable. Shrugging, he opened the door, expecting to see perhaps Raven wanting to give him her…unusual words of comfort…or perhaps Cyborg and Beast Boy wanting to invite him to join their video games to take his mind off of Slade's attack the previous night; none of which he was much in the mood for at the moment.
What he didn't expect was to see Starfire again.
Okay…that was decidedly very odd… he amended to himself.
She stood there in his doorway, still in her usual lavender top and skirt but without the boots, her blazing red hair almost sparkling in the reflected morning light from Robin's window. But her expression was not the same happy, content one he'd left her with; not exactly, anyway. He still saw a little of that, but now he saw it mingling with a little bit of everything else; fear, nervousness, excitement, trepidation, steeled nerves…what was going on?
"Star? Is everything okay?" he asked, genuinely concerned.
"You promise…" she started, but stopped for a moment, her throat seemingly constricted by something. Then, "You promise…that you will never hurt me?"
He remembered saying that, of course; he'd told her so not five minutes earlier, when he told her how much love he had for her. Did she doubt him for some reason? No…it was something else…the way she had said it…it was like she was…pleading with him…but why?
"Of course, Star, I promise…" he said, "but what…"
He had been about to ask her again what the problem was, but at that moment she stepped forward and pulled him into a kiss. Robin felt his worries drift away as he got lost again in her lips…though almost no time had passed since their last kiss, it seemed so much better this time, somehow…and then he realized that he wasn't imagining it. This kiss was deeper…more heated, more…passionate, somehow. Her lips were pressed to his firmly but not forcefully, and her arms were squeezed tightly around his body, though not so tight as to be uncomfortable. He wondered briefly what had brought on this difference, and what exactly Starfire was doing…but when she guided him into the bedroom and closed the door behind her, there wasn't anything left to wonder about.
Without breaking the kiss Starfire leaned backward, pulling Robin down with her until she was lying on his bed with Robin on top of her. He felt her hands running up and down his back, holding him to her almost greedily.
We shouldn't do this… Robin's sensible side warned - the side that had long-since been programmed by Batman's teachings. We shouldn't get involved…it…it's not right…
But that was a lie, Robin knew immediately. He loved this woman more than anything, and everything about this felt exactly right to him…
…but does she think the same way? Is that where this is coming from?
He broke the kiss for a moment, and the both of them took a much-needed breath. Robin looked down at Starfire with his naked, unmasked eyes, and knew he wasn't mistaken – this was definitely right to him – but was it right to her?
"Star…" he whispered into her ear, "…are you…sure about this…?"
Truth be told, she wasn't; not entirely. She still harbored a doubt or two; not that it was Robin's doing, of course. Her doubts rooted from her own fears. But she'd maintained the will to get this far; she knew that if she didn't do this, here and now…if she let the fear get to her…she might never be able to fight it again. And in some corner of her mind, she understood the very same thing Robin did; this felt right. This was the man she loved, the man she wanted to be with, in body and spirit, for the rest of her days.
"Yes…" she whispered back. "…I am sure."
Robin smiled. He kicked his boots off and leaned forward until they were kissing once more; and now, as Starfire's hands ran up and down Robin's back again, his own hands were playing absently with her silky-smooth hair. The two rolled over until they were entirely on the bed, and Starfire was now lying on top of Robin. She broke the kiss just long enough to reach down and pull Robin's nightshirt over his head, then tossed it aside and slowly began shifting her kisses away from his mouth, down the side of his neck to his bare chest. Her fingers traced gingerly over the battle scars he had accumulated over his years of crime-fighting, but she didn't think of them as ugly or disfiguring; rather, they reminded her of just how much he had given up and endured to protect innocent lives, and thinking of that made her love him all the more.
Starfire sat upright then, looking down at Robin with a grin. Her hands came up to the edges of her top, and with only a moment of hesitation she flung it over her head and down to the floor.
She giggled a bit, seeing the wide-eyed look on Robin's face right then – even she felt a little surprised at herself – but she was letting her heart guide her now, and everything was still feeling right so far. She bent down and brought their lips together again as she rolled them over so that Robin was on top again. Starfire leaned back, closed her eyes and soaked it in as Robin followed her example, and his kisses moved from her lips and down her neck to her chest. There was a slight moment where she tensed as Robin's hands touched her breasts for the first time; her fears were causing her to half-expect his touch to be cold and rough, like that of Slade's thugs. But it was quite the opposite: his touch was warm…gentle…tender, even. She relaxed into it, letting his hands and kisses wash over her body with twinges of pleasure at every touch.
Not long after, Robin's hands drifted lower, to the edge of her skirt. She felt his hesitation there, so she kissed him reassuringly and placed her hands over his, guiding them. Her skirt came down around her legs and off the edge of the bed, and a minute later the two lovers were lying atop one another entirely unclothed, their lips refusing to part.
But now came the part that stirred the fear in Starfire's mind more than anything else. This was what had hurt her the most the last time, what she was most afraid that Robin's assurances were wrong about. She wanted to go forward so badly, but her fear was making her hesitate. Robin paused as well, sensing this.
"It's okay, Star…we don't have to if you don't feel comfortable…" he whispered.
For a moment she almost let the fear convince her to stop…but her heart wouldn't let her. She had faith in Robin's words, she knew he wouldn't hurt her the way she'd been hurt last time.
"No," she assured him. "It's all right…I…I trust you."
Robin nodded his understanding. He kissed her again as he brought himself forward, and for one terrifying moment as he entered her, she felt just the tiniest prick of pain. She breathed in sharply, and again the fear almost consumed her; had Robin been wrong after all? Was it destined to hurt her every time?
But the moment was miniscule and fleeting, as was the pain – it was no worse than poking her finger on a rosebush – and once it passed, that feeling…that wonderful feeling Robin had promised…it swept over her as though she'd stepped into a bath, warming her whole body. He'd been right…more right than perhaps even he himself had known.
She realized suddenly that Robin had stopped again when he heard her sharp breath, concern in his eyes, but she smiled back at him and pulled him forward, kissing him all over his face, and the last of the tension between the first-time lovers was gone. Their hips rocked back and forth in a slow rhythm; the only sounds between them were their heated breathing and Starfire's small sighs of satisfaction that grew steadily stronger. This was beyond everything she'd ever dared to dream of…this was wonderful, this was perfect, this…
This…this is Love…
She momentarily broke away from kissing Robin and lay back against the bed, biting her lip to stop herself from crying out as she reached her peak. Instead she let out a deep breath that she hadn't realized she'd been holding, her arms wrapped more tightly around Robin than ever. Gradually her breathing slowed and relaxed, as did Robin's. In her joy, Starfire didn't even notice the wetness in her eyes until Robin said something.
"Star? You…you're crying…"
Starfire blinked and realized that there were indeed tears in her eyes. "Yes…I suppose I am," she said.
The obvious answer came to her quickly. "Because…I have never felt so happy in my entire life." She wiped them away and looked up at her lover. "Before this…I was so afraid, Robin…even though you told me how wonderful it would be, no matter how much I wanted to believe you…I was still afraid. But thanks to you…I'm not afraid any more. Thank you, Robin…thank you so very much."
"Anything for you, Star…anything for you…"
He kissed her again, and they simply lay there wrapped up in one another for perhaps ten minutes until Starfire broke away with a sudden burst of her trademark giggle.
"What is it?" Robin asked.
"Oh, how are we ever going to tell the others?" she said.
Robin smirked. "Who says we have to tell them about us? It can just be our little secret."
Starfire returned his smirk and rolled him over again so she was lying on top. "Well, normally I would not approve of keeping secrets from our friends, but…I could certainly make an exception in this case…"
She leaned down to kiss him one more time…
And at that moment, to their utter horror, the bedroom door opened.
"Yo, Robin!" came Cyborg's booming voice as he strode into the room. "Get your butt outta bed! Star's gone missing again, we can't find her…any…where…"
Cyborg's forward movement came to a halt as his eyes fell first on the pile of clothes at the foot of Robin's bed and then on his two teammates, who were only barely covered by the bed-sheets. For a full minute, the three Titans could do nothing but stare blankly at one another; not one of them moved a muscle or made a sound.
"Um…right…" Cyborg eventually said. "Never mind, then…"
And he left the room looking thoroughly shell-shocked. The other two Titans looked at one another…and simultaneously burst out laughing.
"Well…so much for secrets…" Robin muttered.
Five minutes later Robin stood outside the living room door in his uniform once again, bracing himself for what was sure to come the moment he opened the door. Maybe he didn't say anything, Robin thought for a moment, but he didn't really believe it. And considering the first thing he heard when he opened the door was Beast Boy's wild laughter, he knew Cyborg had indeed blabbed.
"Well, look who's here! Mister lady-killer himself!" Beast Boy grinned at him, turned away momentarily from his game with Cyborg. The metal Titan, sitting next to him on the couch, gave a smirk of his own, while Raven, off in a corner by herself, was buried in a book and determinedly ignoring him, her cheeks slightly red.
Robin signed resignedly. "Look, BB, make whatever jokes you want at me, but I'm begging you, leave Star alone, please? For ten bucks?"
Beast Boy's eyes bulged. "Ten bucks? You got it, dude!"
"Thank you," Robin said with a relieved sigh, and turned to the kitchen to make breakfast. Another five minutes later, Starfire came in, looking slightly red, but perfectly normal and – thank God, Cyborg thought – fully clothed again.
"Good morning, friends!" she said cheerfully, and the others, thankfully, returned the greeting as usual, free of any jokes. Beast Boy had to suppress his chuckles, but he quickly returned to his game, only to find that Cyborg's character was pounding Beast Boy's into pulp.
"DUDE! That's so bogus!" he whined.
"You snooze, you lose, shrimp! Ha-hah!" Cyborg said back.
"I want a rematch!"
Starfire floated past the arguing boys and over to Raven's corner. Raven glanced up from her book. "What?"
"May I sit with you for a moment?"
Raven sighed and nodded. Starfire sat beside the dark girl, a pensive look on her face. Raven raised an eyebrow. "Shouldn't you be the happiest girl on the planet right about now?"
Starfire grinned in an embarrassed sort of way. "Eh-heheh…Cyborg has…informed you of what he saw, has he?"
"Yup," Raven said. "Maybe next time you'll remember to lock the door, hmm?"
"Indeed," Starfire said with a laugh.
"So what's wrong, then?"
"Nothing's wrong," Starfire assured. "I am merely…well…overwhelmed."
"I've…had a dream, ever since I was old enough to understand Love, about what exactly it would be like to share such an experience with whomever I one day came to love. And to be honest…I was afraid, after what Slade did, that my dream was false. But Robin…whatever pain Slade caused, Robin wiped it away. He made my dream a reality. And I am just so…happy…to have found so wonderful a person to love."
Raven smiled. "We're happy for you, Star, really. BB and Cyborg crack jokes and all, but deep down, we wish you guys nothing but the best."
"Thank you, Raven," Starfire said. She giggled again. "Oh, just imagine…perhaps even now I could be carrying our second child!"
Apparently Robin heard that, because a moment later there was a loud crashing sound from the kitchen area, and when they looked over, Robin was sitting on the ground in a pile of dishes and covered in pancake mix.
"Robin!" Starfire shouted as she flew over. "Are you damaged?"
"Unnhh…I'm okay…" he grunted. "But breakfast isn't."
Starfire extended a hand and Robin grabbed it to pull himself up, but all he succeeded at was slipping on the spilled pancake goo and yanking Starfire down into it with him.
"It is all right, I am unhurt."
Meanwhile Cyborg and Beast Boy were laughing their heads off, and Raven was again ignoring them as hard as she could. Beast Boy suddenly spun back to his game while Cyborg was still laughing, pressing a few buttons triumphantly. "HAH! Payback, sucker!"
"Wha…? Oh, that's it, you little grass-stain!"
And the two were engrossed in their game once more.
"Oh well…I wasn't that hungry anyway," Robin said. "Although now I need a shower."
"I as well," Starfire agreed, wiping off the excess goo from her arms.
"You go ahead, then," Robin insisted. "I'll clean this mess up."
"No, no, you need it more than I, please, take your shower first."
"It's all right, really," Robin said. "This is my mess after all…"
Starfire opened her mouth to argue again, but suddenly paused. She cast a glance across the room to make sure the others were occupied, then turned back to Robin with a nervous smile. "Perhaps…we could share?"
Robin went red, but he smiled too. "That sounds…nice."
And the two left the room hand-in-hand, completely oblivious to the rest of the world.
Hope you enjoyed this. It's not quite the sequel some of you asked for, but it's something. Next up is the BB/Terra story, tentatively titled "Clash of the Titans." It'll be started soon.
JP. aka CidGregor