A/N: Okay, so do you old farts remember when I used to do bloopers at the end of my fics? Yeah, I know, they weren't THAT funny, but you all still laughed, right? Well, hehe, here they are! Think of it like a sloppy blooper reel! (please don't get mad at me, please don't get mad at me...)
Brother Squadron: Bloopers con Carne!
Chapter 1: Scene- Outside Lviv
Fox turns back to Luigi. "...Hey, you alright, kid?"
Looking sickly, Luigi attempts to roll the body out of his lap, but grunts, and it doesn't budge. He stares at it, then speaks up quietly. "...It's heavy..."
Fox chokes back a few chuckles, as do several crewman. Luigi grins, embarrassed. "Sorry..."
Chapter 2: Scene- Crater at Dusk
"Welcome to the Brother Squadron, kid!" Link grins and shakes hands with Luigi, pauses, then continues shaking, that smile frozen on his face.
Luigi looks at him, weirded out. "Um..."
"Can't...remember...next...line!" he says between shakes, causing laughter from everyone as he finally lets go and joins in the laughter.
Scene- Crater at Night
Luigi tries the beans, than the meat. As he's shoveling through, he drops the plate and the food lands in the dirt. "No...!"
Several Nintendians burst into laughter. "Nice one," Link laughs.
Luigi holds his dirty plate up to the camera. "Can I have a second helping, please?" he asks stupidly, laughing.
Scene- Still Crater at Night
Luigi's gulping down water while Samus stares at him. Finally she asks, "...What's your name again, kid?"
Luigi sputters, but all the water escapes and dampens his clothes. "Aw, man!"
Laughs go around once more. "Once again, nice one."
Chapter 4: Scene- On Top of the Caravan
"Say, where're your tags?"
"Oh, I lost them during my escape."
"Mmm." There is silence... and silence... and more silence. A bit too long of a silence. Link turns quietly to Luigi. "...Your line."
"I know it's my line," Luigi growls. "I was trying to think of it!"
Link begins to laugh. "You are such an idiot."
"Shut up!" Luigi leans forward and speaks down to the crew. "Can I have a script please?"
Link brings a hand to his forehead as he keeps laughing.
Chapter 5: Scene- Lead Caravan
"Texas Hold'em it is." Fox passes out all the cards. "I'm gonna flip the next c..."
"Whoa!" Luigi suddenly grins. "Oh dang! Royal Flush!"
Falcon breaks his character and looks over. "Are you serious?"
"Yeah! Look!" He shows the two his cards.
"That's dumb luck. It can't happen twice."
Luigi glances up. "...Oh, shoot, we gotta do the take again, huh?" Everyone laughs. "Oh, sorry! I just felt like sharing my good fortune, that's all!"
Chapter 6: Scene- Krakow
Link and Luigi stand outside the slaughterhouse, growing bored. Luigi sees the paper flying in the wind, and when it blows closer, it plants itself on the wall instead of his face. He stares at it for a few seconds, then cracks a grin. "It missed."
Link and several crew members start laughing.
Chapter 7: Scene- Lead Caravan
Luigi spread his arms, and Pikachu bounds up and leaps into his arms. Luigi falls back into the hammock... and it breaks and he falls to the floor. "Ow!"
Link bursts into laughter. "Are you okay?" he asks through his laughs.
Luigi and Pikachu emerge from the cloth. "No thanks to you!"
"Well, what the hell was I supposed to do?" They all laugh.
Chapter 8: Scene- Lead Caravan
Falcon has surrounded a nervous Luigi. "Did you hear? Did you hear? It's today!"
Luigi turns to Falcon, cracks up, then bursts into laughter.
Falcon breaks his character again. "What, what'd I do? What?"
"I'm sorry," Luigi apologized through his laughs. "You were this fricken close, I swear!"
"Psh..." Falcon gives up and turns away to try the take again.
"Dude, you need to learn how to keep a straight face," says Fox off-camera.
"I'm so sorry..."
Chapter 10: Scene- Outside the Cavern, Take One
Bowser laughs at Mario. "That thing's useless at close range! So, what're gonna...!"
Mario spins the pistol in his hand, but it drops to the ground with a clank. He stares at it for a second.
Bowser grins. "You dropped it."
"Shut up." Others around him laugh as he bends down to pick it up.
"That things useless at close range! So what're you gonna...!"
Mario spins the pistol again, and it falls, but he catches it after flailing around with it as if it were a hot potato. "Oh, I see, I caught it that time!" He laughs with the rest.
"So what're you gonna...!"
Mario spins it without dropping it, but it points at his face instead. His eyes bulge. "Holy sh...!" Everyone bursts into laughter as he shakily withdraws it. "Shit, that scared the crap outta me!"
"Nice," Bowser laughs.
"Holy crap..." Mario laughs, embarrassed.
Chapter 12: Scene- Lead Caravan
Mario withdraws his pistol and walks away, and Bowser scowls at him. There then is an awkward pause, and nothing happens.
"...Is he asleep...?" Luigi asks off-camera.
"Dunno." Bowser gets up and unravels the covers gently, then tries desperately to compress his laughter. He grins at the camera and points a claw down into the hammock. "He's actually asleep!" he laughed as quietly as possible as not to wake him up. The camera zooms in, and sure enough, Link is sound asleep, accompanied by a slight snore. Others laugh.
Scene- Still Lead Caravan
Luigi stands up and yells at Ganondorf. "I don't care how much Mario's changed, I know he would kill one of his own kind, even if they were enemies! And neither would I! ...!" He freezes, but continues. "I don't know the rest of my lines, but I'm just gonna keep yelling in hopes that the line will come back to me, and oh, screw it." His voice goes back down as he turns away. The others laugh hysterically. "Hey, I tried!"
Chapter 13: Scene- Morning Briefing
Link is giving orders. "Get any piece of information you can salvage. I wanna know where the bathrooms are in that place!" He stops when he hears snickers all around. "...What...? It's not that funny!"
But the laughs continue anyway, even the crew's laughing.
"You guys are so immature..."
Scene- Ness' Caravan
Ness is showing Link the interior map. He compresses a chuckle. "Those are the bathrooms." Out of nowhere, Link starts snickering. "What?"
"Now that I think about it, that is kinda funny..." Both of them start laughing.
Chapter 14: Scene- Battle, Parked Caravans
"Get out the bomb!" Link shouts to Mario.
Mario pulls out the bomb and match. He scratches the match across the van, but it doesn't light. He tries again, nothing. "Come on, you stupid..." He keeps trying until the match snaps in half. "Son of a fucking crap!"
The other Nintendians burst into laughter with him.
Chapter 16: Scene- Nintendians' Jail
"Good choice." Sayu fit the key into the lock. But when she tries to open it, but it doesn't budge. "Oh, shit, I think it's stuck."
"No! We're stuck in here forever!" someone off-camera shouted jokingly, creating a rouse of laughter.
Sayu laughed as well, facing away from the cell. "Can we get someone to fix it please?"
Chapter 17: Scene- In the Hall, Take One
Zelda has finished healing Link, and he smiles and caresses her face. "Neno kiddey mega no."
"...That's not it," Zelda says suddenly.
"It's Nemo kiddey meega no."
"Nano keddey me..." Link froze as he knew he got it wrong again.
"Nema kaddey meego no."
Zelda smiles and shakes her head. "Nope."
"Goddammit, I hate this fucking language!"
"Dude, it's one line of Hylian!" Fox exclaims.
"Hyrule doesn't even HAVE its own mother fucking language!"
Laughs all around.
Scene- Other Hallway
Link stops in his tracks to hear... and all the Nintendians behind him fall over each other until there's a big lump of bodies on the floor. He can only stand there and stare at them.
"You people are in-fucking-credible."
They all laugh in response. Link shakes his head and turns away. "Screw this, I'm outta here," he says jokingly.
"No, wait!" Fox cries out jokingly, clearly laughing. "We need you to finish this goddamn movie!"
"Well, if you're that desperate..." The blooper reel ends with all Nintendians laughing hysterics.
A/N: And that was all she wrote! BOOYAH! I CAN GO ON TO SOMETHING ELSE! 8D Oh, man, this experience has been something else, man. Never before had I gotten so much praise and so many hits and reviews over any of my fics. You all make me feel... (sniff)... so special! I love you guys so much! (gives you all hugs and kisses)
Link! You're back! (snuggles him)
Okay, let's see, who to thank... Well, I'd like to thank Xuchy for all the inspiration and Skye Agony, The Guitarist of Doom for some of the lyrics I used. Also, all the readers and reviewers, including the frequent ones: Gijinka Renamon, Mudora, Hylian Dragoness, Harpy Link234, Hylian Princess, Gamer21, Vladimir the Hamster, ShebytheDogDemoness, FullMetalEdward, and especially dear old Overmind3, you dog you. :) I'm kidding, you're awesome. All of you. Thanks for all the love. This whole time has been awesome. I just hope you guys review my later stuff without comparing it to this... Me no likey that. Anyways, got a one-shot coming up before a more humorous fic that I hope you like! Review, please!
PS: TWILIGHT PRINCESS ROX MY SOX! 8D