Disclaimer: I don't own them, I didn't create them, and I certainly don't profit from them, but as always I'll buy coffee for George and Jorja, and just because yesterday was George's birthday, I'll buy cake too.

Author's Note: I had this random idea and then when I heard that Tarantino was going to direct the season finale and had come up with part of the storyline which was going to give us a cliffhanger as a CSI is injured and we won't know the outcome until the next season (or after contract talks are concluded) I had to write this. It's intended as a stand alone, but I might be convinced to keep it going…oh, and did I mention that this is a parody?

Previously on 'As The Lab Turns':

"Let's have dinner, shall we?" Grissom looked at Sophia expectantly and then smiled as a smile spread across her face.

"I'll make you a fabulous dinner." Warrick had a sexy smile on his face as he watched the expression on Catherine's face.

"I'll take your action." Catherine looked pleased with the prospect of dinner alone with Warrick Brown.

"Grissom, do you have a minute?" Sophia stood in Grissom's doorway, her shoulder resting against the doorframe.

He peered at her over the rim of his glasses and a sort of half smile pulled at his lips. "Come in." As Sophia closed the door behind her, Grissom looked at her a bit quizzically.

"We need to talk." She sat down opposite him and pursed her lips together as a serious expression overtook her face.

His mind zipped through all the cases they'd worked together at lightning speed and he was at a loss for what she might want to talk about.

"We have a problem." Sophia seemed to be hedging around whatever was on her mind.

Grissom's brow furrowed and he leaned back in his chair. "What's the problem?" He was trying to maintain the most supervisory expression possible.

Sophia looked him in the eye and cut to the chase. "I'm pregnant."

Grissom's eyes widened visibly and he choked out a response. "I'm sorry?"

Sophia looked intently at him. "I said, I'm pregnant and it's yours."

As images flashed through Grissom's mind of a dinner that had turned into quite a bit more a little less than two months previous he felt his throat constrict. They had agreed that while the whole experience was exhilarating and incredibly satisfying that it probably wasn't a very good idea to repeat it and they hadn't talked about it since.

"Grissom." Sophia could see that the news she had just delivered came as quite a shock, but she also reasoned that neither one of them had bothered to take any precautions, so the risk had been there.

"Mine?" Grissom looked confused, somewhat hopeful that this was all a bad dream. He hadn't intended to sleep with Sophia, but there was something about her that he found mesmerizing, and she looked so much like Teri.

Sophia nodded succinctly. "Yes."

"Oh." His brows arched and the color drained from his face as Grissom tipped a little further back in his chair, a little too far. He passed out as he tumbled backwards onto the floor.

Sophia sprang from her chair, whipping her cell phone off of her belt as she rounded the desk. "Gil." He didn't seem injured, just in shock. She punched in 9-1-1. "Yes, this is CSI Curtis, I need a medic unit at the crime lab in Gil Grissom's office." She paused as the dispatcher verified the information. "Yes, he seems to have lost consciousness.

Catherine couldn't help but smile as Warrick opened his door with a bottle of wine in hand and his shirt completely unbuttoned. "Am I catching you at a bad time?" She arched her brows suggestively, knowing full well that he was expecting her.

Warrick let out a soft chuckle and drank in her low cut snugly fitting halter-top and the jeans that seemed to hug her in all the right places. "Oh, I think you caught me at a very good time."

Catherine made no attempt to hide the fact that she was admiring the well-defined muscles on his chest and wondered to herself just how well defined the rest of him was. "So what's on the menu?"

Warrick opened the door wide to let her in. "A little wine, a little dinner, and then maybe some dessert." By the way he was looking at her, he made it abundantly clear exactly what he wanted for dessert.

Catherine offered him a sultry smile. "You know what they say. Life's short, have dessert first." She stepped towards him as he shut the door.

"Mmm, now that's a good idea." Warrick replied in a silken voice before he stepped towards her, setting the bottle of wine down on the entry table as he pulled her roughly against him and seized her mouth in a fiery kiss.

Catherine groaned into his mouth and gripped his open shirt as she returned it with equal fervor.

"What are the medics here for?" Sara glanced over at Greg and Nick whom she was working with on her current case.

Greg shrugged his shoulders. "Don't know."

Nick gave Sara an empathetic glance, knowing that the last person she was interested in seeing was Hank Pedigrew. "I'll go check it out. I need some more coffee anyway."

Sara flashed him a grateful smile and as he left the layout room she realized that she'd missed working with him and Warrick and the way they all seemed to work together so seamlessly.

"Grissom, can you hear me?" Hank was trying to rouse the nightshift supervisor from his unconscious state, but every time Grissom's eyes fluttered open, he'd focus on Sophia and close them again. A perplexed looking Hank glanced at Sophia. "Any idea what triggered this?"

In a low voice Sophia spoke to Hank. "I told him that I'm pregnant."

A realization dawned on Hank's face and he let out a soft chuckle. "I think he'll probably be fine as soon as the shock wears off."

Neither one of them saw Nick standing just outside Grissom's office in the hallway with a slightly shell-shocked expression on his face.

Catherine and Warrick had given up all pretenses of wine and dinner, having left a trail of clothing as they ended up on the floor in front of the couch tangled together under an afghan. Warrick had pulled it off of the sofa to cover them up as they came down from orbit.

"Do you have any idea how long I've wanted to do that?" Catherine let out a soft groan as she leaned up and nuzzled Warrick's neck.

He let out a chuckle and pulled her closer. "Not nearly as long as I have."

A deep throaty laugh escaped from Catherine. "Don't bet on it."

"So what was it? Hodges get food poisoning or something?" Greg quipped as Nick walked back into the layout room.

"Uh, no." Nick glanced at Sara and tried to put a smile on his face. "Hey, Sara, can I talk to you for a minute?"

She glanced at him and registered the abnormally forced smile, furrowing her brows immediately. "Sure."

Nick gestured towards the hallway.

Sara slipped off of her stool and moved towards the doorway.

Greg looked at his two coworkers curiously. "Don't mind me, I'm just working on the case here."

As Nick and Sara slipped out into the hallway, Sara looked at him earnestly. "Nick, what is it?"

Nick shook his head and glanced down the hallway. "Not here. C'mon." He grabbed her arm and propelled her along with him to the stairwell that led to the roof.

Despite her best attempts, Nick would not tell Sara anything until they were standing on the roof looking out over the parking lot. Before he could say anything, Sara noticed Hank wheeling Grissom on a gurney towards a medic unit with a panicky looking Sophia trailing along with him. Her eyes widened as she turned to look at Nick. "What is it?"

Nick just cut to the chase. "Sophia's pregnant."

Sara looked confused. "So why is Grissom the one on the gurney?" Her eyes widened as she realized that Nick really didn't need to answer that question.

"I overheard her telling Hank that Grissom passed out when she told him." Nick's tone was gentle. He knew that she had held a torch for their boss for a long time.

"I'm fine." Sara didn't look fine. "I mean, it's shocking, but I'm fine. I'll be fine. I'm over him."

Nick looked doubtful. "Sara."

Sara's eyes snapped up and locked with his. "Really, I am. I'm just a little shocked that's all. I never thought he'd date a subordinate."

Nick stepped over and put his hands on her shoulders and gave her an apologetic expression. "You know he was always a fool about you. Anyone with half a brain could see that you're worth risking everything for."

Sara's face registered surprise. "What are you saying, Nick?" She had always found Nick attractive, she had just never thought he'd be interested in her.

"Just that he's an idiot." Nick had a moment of clarity as he realized this probably wasn't the moment to declare some undying devotion to a woman that didn't seem to be quite over another man who had just found out he was going to be a father by another woman.

Sara smiled softly knowing that he was lying through his teeth. "He is, isn't he."

Several Days Later:

"Grissom, this is serious." Conrad Ecklie had his fingers pressed together as he regarded his nemesis from across the table. "You not only slept with a subordinate, you got her pregnant. Now not only do I have to file misconduct charges against you both, we're going to be a CSI short in a few months."

Grissom looked visibly sick. He had never intended to risk his career, but after too much alcohol and a libido that hadn't been satisfied in quite a while, he was reaping the consequences of throwing all caution to the wind.

"I have no choice but to suspend you and when you come back, if you come back, you're looking at a demotion." As much as Ecklie wanted to take a measure of glee from Grissom's misfortune, he was jealous that Grissom had snagged Sophia so easily.

"Wow." Sara looked at Nick in disbelief. Ecklie had made him acting nightshift supervisor until Grissom's fate could be decided and Greg had been moved to swing shift.

"I'm sure it's just temporary, Sar. I don't really want to be a supervisor. I'd rather be in the field." Nick knew that Sara was envious. After getting the non-promotion, Sara had seemed somewhat put out.

"Do you think Catherine will get nights?" Sara really didn't relish the idea of working under Catherine's direction. It was no secret that the two women butted heads.

"I don't know. She seems pretty happy with the shift she has." Nick replied.

Sara furrowed her brow. "Actually, she seems pretty happy period these days."

Two Weeks Later:

Muffled sounds were coming from Catherine's office as Greg meandered down the hall in search of Warrick. The two were working on a case together and Greg had just gotten the sample results back. He knocked on Catherine's door and when he didn't hear a reply he opened the door and nearly fainted from shock at the sight before him.

Warrick was sitting in the chair behind Catherine's desk with Catherine straddling his lap and from what Greg could see with the strategically placed desk in the way and the disheveled clothing, the pair was clearly having more than a work related meeting.

Their secret might have been safe too as Greg began to close the door if Ecklie hadn't walked up just then.

A Week Later:

"I can't believe it." Grissom was muttering to himself as he wandered out to his SUV. He had not only been demoted, he was going to be a father and he had just been rebuffed by Sara, having finally garnered the courage to ask her out to dinner. "It really is too late."

He wasn't paying attention as he paused just in front of his Denali, trying to remember which pocket he had put his keys in. The driver of the VW Bug wasn't paying attention either.

"Pretty nice digs here, Nick." Sara smirked as she closed the door to Nightshift Supervisor Stokes' office.

Nick smirked back at her, trying to hide his appreciation for the blouse she was wearing. "I guess it's not bad."

Sara arched her brows at him and walked around the desk. "Comfy?"

He arched his brows back at her. "It's a very sturdy chair."

"Oh, really." Sara feigned innocence as she straddled his lap. "Well, let's just see about that."

Nick didn't give it a second thought as he felt her lips connect with his. He just gave himself over to the sensation and then let out a groan as he felt her hands slide under his shirt.

The VW Bug stopped, but only after it had hit Grissom, sending him flying about twenty feet. The panic stricken driver raced over to him and screamed. "Someone call 9-1-1!"

The End? Tune in next week for the next episode of 'As The Lab Turns'…