Title: Keep Moving
Dedication: Megan (The It) because I'm an idiot.
Disclaimer: I don't own any thing from Harry Potter and I certainly don't own this song. The song is by Savage Garden called Two Beds and a Coffee Machine if anyone likes the lyrics. I have changed the lyrics a little just to fit the story. The name of the hotel "N'Avez Pas de L'Amoureux" belongs to me.
Warning: Slash. Male pregnancy implications. Don't like it, don't read it. Don't flame me either. The characters may be out of character based on your judgment and I apologize for that. I've only written what I considered right, in a sense and also to an extent.
A/N: Sorry, I haven't updated anything with a new chapter in so long. "When Harry Ate an Ice Cream Bar" has its part two now. I'm terribly sorry about having taken so long on that. It will be posted on a different page for the contents. Anyway, hoping you will enjoy the story.
Summary: There's not much that has kept Draco staying with Harry and he's finally had it. No more. He loved the man, but not like this. Not like this. Run. Run while you can. Harry's angry at first about being alone. But after a month, he realizes how much he's missed the blonde darling he used to have. Forgiveness wasn't so easy to gain. Draco and the boys disappear for quite a while. What's he to do then? After all. Still loved. Was stupid enough to let go. Like that.
"And he takes another step.
Slowly, he opens the door.
Check that he is sleeping.
Pick up all the broken glass.
And the furniture on the floor."
Two Beds and a Coffee Machine by Savage Garden.
Alcohol reeked in the stale air of his beloved – No, once beloved home with the raven-haired young man. The blonde shivered visibly at the horrors that he'd have to face tonight, if there were any. And there had better not be any. It was currently 11 PM. He'd had a tiring day at work and wanted some decent rest for a change. He'd hadn't put in ten fucking years to the relationship to end up like this.
His children had seen enough. The ones he'd had with Harry, but ended up having to take care of himself. Pffft. It'd rain bullshit in London the day he dared to let the other even try to help out with the children. Tonight would be last if there were any mistakes.
He wouldn't bare to doubt for a single second that some 'accident' was not bound to happen. Hah. That'd be the day. Draco sighed bitterly, shaking his platinum blonde locks wearily.
"Miss me, honey?" That familiar voice that he'd grown to tire of and fear whispered in his ear. Those once appealing bites found his lobes once more from the sharp teeth he used to love. And maybe, just maybe, if given the chance, wanted to love once more. He tried to push away the man behind him forcefully, but was resisted with twice the force. "What? You don't like this anymore? Don't worry. I'll make you like it again."
"No, you won't," Draco told him softly, a slight bit of annoyance detectable in his voice. He tried to walk away slowly, though once more, he found himself held back forcefully.
"What did you just say to me? Repeat yourself, slut. I dare you to," Harry growled fiercely. He considered just punching his lover, but that'd be the easy way out. Draco whirled around, his eyes icy cold with that same glare he used to use so very often. "Go on. You've got the sexy glare, now out with the feisty words."
Before saying a word, the blonde wrenched his wrist out of the other man's rough hands. "You heard me, you bitchy little drunk. But, I'll repeat myself once more. I said, 'No, you won't.' You're not going to molest me like you did last night, or the way you've done for the past few days. I'm not going to let you doggy-fuck me either. I don't have ti—" his sentence wasn't even finished when a hard slap made its way to his pale cheek.
The fuck he didn't. The sober father of two boys slapped Potter right back. Not only did he slap his love back, he held the man's wrists together too, wandlessly forming a pair of handcuffs over them. It stung slightly to have to call the man in front of him by his last name, but the final straw had been drawn and this wasn't fun anymore. "Don't you touch another goddamned bone in my body. I didn't finish my sentence. I don't have the time for this either. Now let me finish my sentence and I'll have a fist-to-fist fight with you. Is that clear?"
"Awww. Is ickle Draco to afraid to let his boyfriend's hands loose until he finishes his speech?" That earned Harry another sharp bite on his neck, causing him to hiss out loud in pain. He refused to show it though. "Kinky, are we now, loverboy?"
"I'm the feisty one? Bull-fucking-shit. You're the one who gets it up raping me while MY children are asleep in two rooms down. I've put up with it for long enough. Rough sex and rape isn't the same thing. If you're going to try and 'prove yourself,' Potter, rape isn't the way to go about it. Savvy?" Draco kept his monotone voice completely even.
Slowly, he took the handcuff spell off of the abuser's wrists. All that had gotten him was a vicious tackle, which had knocked him over. "I'll do whatever the fuck I want to you, whether you like it or not. And face it, Draco, you want it."
His hips were straddled as the buttons on his shirt were almost ripped off vigorously, until Draco growled and pushed Harry off of him. "Fistfight, not rape… unless you're too cowardly to fight like a man." He smirked provocatively from the floor, then stood up to find himself knocked onto the couch.
Harry felt the anger rushing through his veins. "So this is how you talk to the father of your two children, huh? Well then, Draco, I think you need to be taught not to do that again." He attempted to throw a punch at the blonde. Mr. Potter found himself thrown off and onto the coffee table where he hit his head so hard, he fell into unconsciousness. "It's over between you and me," he spat.
No more being punched for Draco. He'd put up with the disrespect from lover to lover for long enough. There hadn't been as much of a fight as he'd expected. The children had already had most of their things packed up by them and if unpacked, it could always be done with magic. Now, all he had to do was wake up Xander and Jackie, apologize profusely, then find some hotel for the night.
"Been up half the night screaming.
Now it's time to get away.
Pack up the kids in the car.
Another bruise to hide.
Another alibi to write."
He set on his way to wake the two precious children, refusing to let the desperate tears spill out of his eyes. Ten years to end up like this. Goddamn. He hated to admit it, but this hurt more than being raped did. Even worse than the Cruciatus curse. But fuck that.
Before he had the chance to reach the room he'd let them share, his two boys burst out of the room and enveloped him into a giant hug. "Daddy, we're sorry." The apology had been practiced. Well at least, the boys were still sweet.
He'd been a bit outraged to hear the apology make its way out of their mouths though. "Boys, what're you apologizing for? It was that man lying on the table's fault. So… you two have your suitcases pack then, don't you?" Draco let a teardrop leak out of his hurt gray eyes. "I'm sorry. We have to leave. I'll make it up to you two, I promise."
"Daddy, it's okay. We'll go get the suitcases and you can go make sure that potty head is still unconscious, alright? Slap him around a bit if you need to… or if you want to. We'll be in the car and reserving a room in a hotel."
There wasn't much to say really. They were all in the car now, Xander and Jackie asleep like the sweet little boys they were. Draco's eyes blurred as he turned on the stereo to hear Lover I Don't Have to Love by Bright Eyes. Fucking hell, he sounded dramatic. It was completely disgusting, but then again, the alcohol his clothing reeked of was too.
The blonde drove, occasionally bumping the car into ditches. Traffic was nearly nonexistent. He ran a few stoplights, and maybe a few stop signs. Old songs played on the radio. Coffee was drunken black. Bitterness hit his tongue and played the part of a healer. Who needed chocolate now?
"Another ditch in the road.
You keep moving.
Another stop sign.
You keep moving on.
And the hours go by so fast.
Wonder how I ever made it through."
"I'm sorry, boys. You two don't deserve this. A melodramatic father and a drunk for another one," he spoke looking at the backseat when there was a stoplight.
"It's okay, Daddy. Honest. We love you and that's never going to change. Besides, we like you all melodramatic. It makes us feel better and helpful." The boys murmured in their sleep lovingly.
The night ended like that. An old promise ring made its way off of Mr. Malfoy's slender, pale finger. Salty moisture drenched the soft hotel pillows. Two boys shared a bed, to let him have his own. Daddy deserved it after all.
Morning made its appearance with the shining light he used to gaze at with Harry, but that was no more. Draco crawled out of bed, groggily and walked to the bathroom. First thing he looked at was the mirror. He touched his face lightly, wincing at how bad it stung. No Concealing spell for it. He'd just have to make something up.
Teeth were brushed. Hair was combed. Draco found a pair of black trousers and a deep red shirt to put on. He still had to go to work today and the costumers that had hired him as a personal shopper wouldn't appreciate to see him in his pajamas. "Daddy," Jackie's soft voice called from the other hotel bed, sleepily.
"Yes, sweetie?" he nearly melted as he heard his younger son's adorable tone, heavy with a good night's worth of sleep.
"Me and Xander get to come with you to work today, right?"
"Of course! You want to wake your brother up for me? Get the two of you changed please. I'll get you two breakfasts at the shopping center. And you two can sleep in the car if you want to. We've got a 20 minute ride there."
"Yay!" Outside of the bathroom, he heard Jack jumping on the bed. Repeated cries of, "Wake up, you bloody wanker!" or "Shush, you stupid arse!" and "I will not, you pissy-faced bum!" pulled the sharp corners of his mouth into a grin. Mouthy like he was at that age. Oh how he remembered yelling at Dobby all those years ago. He'd always apologized profusely for it afterwards though, even if Father didn't approve.
Oh well. Off to breakfast and work with the darling boys then. Hopefully, they wouldn't be in this hotel room for that long.
And they really weren't.
x o x o x o x o
"And there are children to think of.
Baby's asleep in the backseat.
Wonder how they'll ever make it,
Through this living nightmare.
But the mind is an amazing thing."
The two weeks' stay at that hotel ended sooner than Draco had expected, really. Harry still hadn't tried to get him back. Guess it wasn't true love after all, not that he really wanted the ex to return to him that badly. It was just disappointment in the form of missing-your-ex-boyfriend/lover/babies' father angst.
Xander and Jackie remained in the backseat while the blonde drove off to the next hotel. It'd be a hell of a lot closer to where he worked, better quality, and they could stay there longer as well. This hotel would also make it easier for the ex-Slytherin to drive his children to school when the time came for him to do so. It'd be a while before they got to the hotel though.
Here is Gone by the Goo Goo Dolls played on the car radio allowing Mr. Malfoy to sing along to the few lines he knew.
"And I'm not holding on. All your lies weren't enough to keep me here. And I want to get free. Talk to me. I can feel you falling out. And I wanted to be all you need. Somehow here is gone," echoed softly through the car in a sad, but melodic tone of the only adult there. Home disappeared with whatever 'here' had been, too.
He wanted so terribly to return to what he used to home as well. A warm, comfortable bed with a warm, loving body next to his while they slept the night away after love. That wouldn't happen anytime soon though. Not for a long, long time. Even if it did feel like forever already. Dreaming would be useless at the moment and also for the moments that had yet to come.
At least it was summer, for the school's wishes would be quite difficult for them to accommodate with all the moving around. It didn't help much to know that because Draco still didn't have who he'd so… faithfully hoped would have been the love of his life until death dragged them apart. Lot of a fucking bit that did.
Finally, the angst-filled thoughts made the time to the hotel go by faster. Oh whoopee. Jack and Xander were allowed to go to sleep as soon as they reached the hotel room, and the platinum blonde was left with his blank solitude once more.
"Full of candy dreams and new toys,
And another cheap hotel.
Two beds and a coffee machine.
But there are groceries to buy.
And he knows he'll have to go home."
Meanwhile… Two weeks later after the Leaving Night.
14 days and three hours alone in the house he and Draco used to share passed by slower than he would have ever thought. It wasn't until then that Harry had realized what he'd really done to the loving blonde. Nor was it at that point that he had concluded how bad it must've hurt. But the ex-Slytherin should've have taken the kids and just left him like that!
He'd been drunk and hadn't known what he'd been doing, so at least he could've been confronted about it! Ugh. Boys. Getting angry over such petty things. Well… not so petty. Goddamn. Where'd his glasses been when Love walked out of the door for him? Useless things.
Oh fuck. And it'd taken him a month to realize it. But he'd raped Draco too. That guy that'd pulled him back together after the war and allowed himself to be used as a release of passion, while hoping it'd been love. Used and abused. Harry Potter, a rapist. Some fucking 'hero' he was. Oh and the hero complex guilt had returned too!
A drink was necessary in the spirit of the moment. Except, there was none left in the house. Grocery shopping needed to be done. And Draco had been the one that had usually done it. Without any complaints, too. Well then, so much for that.
Alcohol would have to be off limits for a while, considering, he still had to get Draco back. First step to that in his mind's handbook would be: No more alcohol and send self on endless guilt trips. Oh joy.
Hahaha. And there wasn't even a lifetime guarantee that his ex-lover would come back at all! Wouldn't it be funny if he had the door slammed in his face when he tried to find the blonde? That'd be quite a laugh. Not much of a surprise, but funny all the same! After all, he was going to go through all this trouble to get him back after having raped Draco and beaten him. Wheeee.
Rather fucking enjoyable it would all turn out to be. Harry chuckled to himself bitterly, for there was no one there with him for company, not that they'd be much company anyway. Ironic, the only person he really wanted to see now was Draco, when he had been the one to push the person who had given birth to his children so far away.
"But still. I really want my Draco back. It's lonely; love, if you can hear me all the way from here. I miss you, darling. And I'm sorry. I'm oh-so sorry. It won't be a shock if you never forgive me. I still love you. And without you, there still is no 'me.' Instead, there's an ugly, hollow statue waiting to be smashed." A tear fell out of his eye. Such a change of emotion, in not that long of a time.
"Without you, Draco dearest, I'm nothing." What a load of bullshit Draco would think when he'd heard that. Especially since he'd been so goddamned insistent and cocky about getting the sex he wanted out of the blonde. Non-consensual sex at its very best. That was even worse. This would be even harder than he'd planned. Underestimating the price of something, out of confidence. It was so bloody typical of him. Ever the stupid Gryffindor.
And of course, he mustn't forget: ever the asshole of Mr. Hero Complex Harry Potter too. In a way, it disgusted him to think of what he'd done. After all, the act in itself was revolting as it was. Argh. He still couldn't get over it though. He'd raped Draco. Part of it was that he'd hurt the man he'd loved for the better part of his life. The other half was that he'd become something he'd always hated so intensely. Hypocrite. Fucking shit.
On top of that, he had to do laundry and go out grocery shopping. Blech. Harry stood up from his spot in the ground to bang his head against the nearest wall, unintentionally, but that didn't mean the hit didn't hurt. Oh bollocks. That was another part of it too. He'd unintentionally or unconsciously raped his blonde, cherished, loving, caring, sweet-faced ex-lover. Goddamn. Potter hadn't realized that he'd been this much of an arse until now.
Two more weeks and several guilt trips later, Mr. 'Boy Wonder' decided that he'd go off to find the man he loved and would continue to love for the rest of his, now considered, pitiful life. Harry crawled out of bed, quite reluctantly, and dragged himself into the shower. He slowly massaged his scalp while thinking about how he'd approach this whole situation of finding Draco's hotel. What if the blonde had moved on already without him? Or left the whole country? Or even worse, slammed the door right in his face? Or should he just not go to find his ex-lover at all? NO! There was no backing out of this now.
The shampoo found itself getting rinsed out of his hair and gliding down his body smoothly. Soon enough, Harry stepped out of the shower to dig around for something nice, but not too fancy to wear. He didn't really want to look like he'd obsessed over Draco for the past few weeks, nor did he want to dress like he was a complete mess. Something in the middle would have to work.
Finally, he settled on a pair of dark blue jeans with a black button up shirt. The first two buttons were left open and the rest of the shirt was left untucked. Harry tugged on a pair of black dress shoes, snatched his house keys off of the nightstand, and left. Now, all he had to do was look around the hotels in London for a dark blue Acura RL. Draco had insisted on getting a Japanese car, with lack of sex for the next month on the line, he gave into the blonde's desire.
Hopefully, the car wouldn't be too difficult to find. In the spur of the moment, the once shy Gryffindor remembered a hotel the two of them had come by when they were still a loving couple. The ex-Slytherin had clutched his arm, desperately wishing that neither of them would ever have to go there, should their relationship fail. And ironically as it was, it had fallen apart.
N'Avez Pas de L'Amoureux was the name of that dreaded hotel and it could very well be where Draco was now. According to Harry's memory, it meant "Lack of Love" sadly enough. He walked there, a tear nearly leaking out of his eye and streaming down his cheek. Lack of love on his behalf was what had torn their cherished relationship into little shreds and pieces.
Sure enough, Harry had gotten to ask the receptionist at the desk and found out Draco really was staying in the hotel. Half of him cheered with the joy of having found his love. The other half of him was torn in half at the thought of Draco staying in this place with a broken heart. "Miss, would you mind if I went to go find him?" he asked the receptionist exceptionally politely. "Please?"
"Oh, honey. With that face, who could deny you a visit? Don't be too long though. I'm not supposed to be doing this," the red-haired lady shooed him off towards the elevator, smiling sweetly.
"Thank you, mademoiselle!" Harry dashed inside, pressing the button for the fourth floor. He found Room 417 and knocked on the door, anxiously hoping Draco would be inside.
His ex-disheveled blonde, possibly thoroughly shagged, clad only in a pair of pajama pants, drawstrings untied as they'd always been, opened the door, only to slam it back shut after saying, in a dangerously low tone, "Fuck off."
How venomously the line had been said should've been expected. He did deserve this after all. But, even so, Harry wished that hadn't happened. Trying again wouldn't do much good, though he decided to try anyway. "Please, Draco. Let me in," he nearly begged at the door.
Inside the hotel room, an angry growl was heard before the door was opened by a furious-looking man. "How dare you come to the door of my hotel room looking all sorry!" Draco spoke through gritted teeth. "What fucking part of "it's over" don't you understand?" He slammed the door in the rapist's face once more.
For a moment, Harry thought he would simply burst into tears. Instead of doing so, he just wiped an angry tear away and slid down the opposite wall of the hallway. Seems like Draco really didn't need him anymore.
"Another ditch in the road.
You keep moving.
Another stop sign.
You keep moving on.
And the weeks seem to never pass.
Wonder how you ever made it through."
"Fucking shit," he muttered to himself. "I miss you, Draco." And he left the building, crying without tears.
Draco sighed to himself brokenly, sitting down on the hotel bed he'd grown to love. "Look at what you've done, Draco." They had to leave the country. Harry wouldn't be able to find them again. Not for a long, long time. Money would be taken from his vault at Gringotts and he'd have to find a new job too. They also would need a house and some more.
A new start. First, the boys would have to be woken up. And they'd be ready to leave in three days. He'd already quit his job a week ago, seeing as they had enough to live comfortably for a while. "Xander, Jackie, you two have to wake up now." He shook the children lightly. "It's already half past ten and I have a surprise to tell you boys about."
Typically, like all other children, the boys leapt up from the bed and smiled like crazy. "Daddy! What's the surprise! What's the surprise!"
How enthusiastic his children were about the whole moving thing made him smile happily. "Well, I hope this won't make you boys sad, but we're moving!" Jack nearly fainted out of excitement. "Hey! No fainting yet! I haven't told you where!" Draco tickled the younger son until he started giggling madly and sat back up. "We're moving to France where I used to live until I turned five!"
The younger, dark-haired little boy fainted properly this time, promptly onto the pillow. "Much better. You're going to make Daddy prouder than he already is, some day. "
Xander grinned happily at his father. "You ought to see him when you're at work and I'm here with him." His hazel green eyes twinkled with laughter and his rosy pink lips spread from ear to ear in a bright smile.
The older Malfoy raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Is there something you two aren't telling me?" He looked at his son suspiciously, "Have you got a boyfriend or a girlfriend? Are you having an affair behind my back! You're only ten!" He got himself smacked playfully on the shoulder. Oh no, he didn't! Draco gasped outrageously, "Don't whack me just because you have a bad complexion!"
The younger blonde smacked his father playfully again. "At least my complexion's better than yours!" He found himself getting tickled mercilessly. "You big bully! You're going to muss up my hairrrrrr!"
Draco grinned widely. "Oh my god. You're just as vain as your father! Wheeee! I was like that when I was your age too. Except, your grandfather was an asshole. So my uncle would tickle me all the time and play with me to make me laugh. It was pretty damned difficult though. But now! I have a son who is just as vain as I was! You vain git! I love you!"
Another year and a half went by. Xander went to Hogwarts as a second year, after having passed with flying colors in his first. He was a Slytherin, of course, just like his father. Jackie was currently going to a mixture of Muggle school and a magic school for anyone under the age of eleven. He was ten years old now. Next year, he'd be sent off to Hogwarts as well, with his older brother. Harry stayed at home moping, getting worse and worse. His ex-lover found someone new. And it was bad.
Draco tried his best to ice his eye before it turned into a black eye and before the other man could hit him again. God-fucking-damnit. Whoo! His blonde hair, blue-speckled silver eyes, lithely muscled body just screamed "Abuse me!" didn't it! Two abusive boyfriends in a row! At least, this one couldn't get him pregnant, nor would he get the chance to.
He threw another punch at the redhead's face, knocking him down to the glass table. Mr. Malfoy had two darling little boys to go home to. "It's over. And you won't even think of daring to come after me if you know what's good for your life," he spat, walking out. He made sure to slam the door on the way out.
One more fun ride in the car back to his precious apartment, back to his even more precious boys. Aww. Fuck. How would he explain this to them? "My most sincere apologies, Jackie. You can't tell Xander this, but Daddy went ahead and got himself another abusive boyfriend without telling you, angel, even if you are the most important person in my life, tied with Xander. Please forgive me. I promise I'll make it up to you." Pffft. What a load of horse shit. Fine then, the truth would have to do. Unless he could come up with an alibi.
"Another bruise to try and hide.
Another alibi to write.
Another lonely highway in the
Black of the night.
But there's hope in the darkness.
You know you're going to make it."
Remaining in England all this time, Harry refused to get out of bed. He hadn't showered in three days. His eyes were bloodshot. He'd lost at least twenty pounds over the past two months. He'd bunt his fingers a few times on the stove as well, not bothering to heal them. He couldn't cook properly, nor could he pick out matching clothes. Draco used to do all of those things for him when they were still a real couple… but now, Draco wasn't there anymore, was he? And it was all his fault. He'd pushed his lover away without even trying. All it took was a little alcohol and a couple rapes.
God… Mr. Potter didn't even know where his ex-lover was now. Draco could've been dead for all he'd known. The ex-Gryffindor wasn't even able to make himself cry at the thought.
His tears had run all out the night before when he had found a box of picture albums from about five years back. Xander had been about six and Jackie had just turned four that day. The couple in the picture was smiling and the blonde had been wearing the promise ring his boyfriend had given him when they'd graduated Hogwarts.
They looked so damned happy in the picture. And he promised that he'd keep Draco happy forever. Well then.
Some fucking promise I'd kept, Harry thought to himself, bitterly. I hope Draco's happier than I am right now. Happier than he was with me, at least… Would it be so selfish to wish he was happy with me, right now? I'm miserable without him… I'm terrible without him… I miss him… I want my boyfriend back… I want him to love me again… I want to say that I'm sorry. Without you, Draco, I'm nothing.
Ending on that thought, Harry Potter's currently sad world faded into a different world of quiet black. Oh well. So what? He'd wake up in a few hours again. No one would really have noticed if he didn't, right? No one would really have cared either, anyway. So that'd be that.
All the way in France, Draco had finally reached his penthouse, contemplating whether or not to open the door at all. Jack would still be awake because he was allowed to, since it was a weekend and all. He'd completed his homework and done the extra credit as well. That deserved a reward.
"Daddy?" the younger blonde's soft, boyish voice could have been heard through the door. "Please come in… I missed you…"
Unable to say no to his adorable, charming son, Mr. Malfoy let himself in the door, tears coming out of his eyes to dampen his eyelashes. "I'm so sorry, Jackie darling. I'm so, so sorry. I'm so, so sorry." He couldn't even bare to look his son in those crystal clear, emerald-green eyes of his. "I'm so sorry." Just like a little boy, Draco ran to his room without taking off his shoes and threw himself onto the bed, stomach first. He buried his face into his pillow and cried.
Jackie crawled onto his father's bed, gently petting his hair. "But Daddy… In my eyes, you can do no wrong. It's not wrong to make such unintentional mistakes. You didn't do whatever you did on purpose. And I don't believe you ever would have…" He lay down next to his parent, hugging him tightly, as he would to Xander when comfort was necessary. "Please believe me. I tell no lies. I lack not the truth. Daddy, please stop crying. I love you."
At the sweet tone of his younger son's voice, Draco Malfoy turned his face around from his pillow, putting his bloodshot, blue-grey eyes on display for his son. "It's not that I don't believe you, Jackie honey. It's just that daddy doesn't like what he's done… He made a very stupid mistake and sometimes, it's a habit to be mad at myself for it. It's not a very good habit, and I hope you don't develop it, but I can't seem to get rid of it. I don't expect you to understand what I'm saying, but I wish that you will sometime in the future. And I love you too, Jackie."
The younger blonde sighed inaudibly, having heard those words said to his father by that Harry person before. He'd always sounded like he'd meant it… especially when Daddy was unhappy when he'd gotten home from work. He missed that version of Harry, his other father. And maybe, part of Jackie wanted to go home too. It would be worth a try to ask. It hadn't been the first time he'd thought about this either.
"Daddy… Ummm… Please don't be mad at me if I ask this of you… But… You've got to promise me before I make my request… Okay?"
"I promise, Jackie. I couldn't ever be mad at you for making a request."
"I want to go back to England. Back to where Harry is… All within reason." Jackie pleaded with his vulnerable eyes. "Well… for some reason, I can hear things other people can't. Uncle Lupin told me so when I told him I could hear him howl all the way from Grimmauld Place during the full moon. And then… when you slammed the door on Harry, which I don't blame you for, I heard him crying outside of the doors that you said were soundproof."
Draco didn't know what to say to his son. He nervously wiped the salty tears on his eyes off with a clean tissue and sat up. An awkward silence rested between them for a few minutes, until he came up with an appropriate answer.
Leaving France would mean leaving the apartment behind, his beloved job, but it'd also mean taking away Jack and Xander's rights to having two parents in their lives. Even if they had gone on this long without… Potter, they still needed a second parent. And no one here, so far, had been qualified.
"I'll think about it, alright, sweetie? I can't promise you anything though. Maybe when summer comes, we can consider it some more, but I can't have you quitting school in the middle of the year. We have to ask Xander if he wants to move too. After all, he's part—" Draco's sentence was cut off by his son's interruption.
"He wants to, just like I do. We've been discussing it through letters in the past four months. I'm sorry for having kept it from you… but I wasn't sure how you'd react… and I didn't want you to be mad at me. Y'know?" Jackie hugged his father tightly, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "I'll understand if you don't want to move," he promised. "I'll love you all the same if you don't, Daddy."
A tear of joy slid down Draco's pretty face. It was nearly enough to convince him to move back with that ex of his… "Y'know, Jackie. Even if you're only 9 and I don't expect you to comprehend… but that means more to me than you'll ever know. And if finding your other father is that important to you… We'll go back and find Potter. Sooner or later, I promise."
The bright smile on Jack's face was something his father wouldn't have sold for all of the gold in the world. "Thank you, Daddy." He smiled even brighter, hugging the older blonde extremely tightly. "For everything."
Draco hugged his son back just as tight, if not tighter, allowing a tiny smile to creep across his face. "Now, you've got to head to sleep 'cause we're going to go visit… the music stores in Muggle Paris tomorrow!"
Having grown up with music in every day of his life, Jackie longed to see the music stores of every place he went to. But since his daddy had been busy lately, they hadn't had the chance to go to Muggle Paris for a visit. All his classmates had told him that the music there was amazing but expensive. Money was still no matter in the situation when it came to the Malfoys. Draco didn't spend it like there would be hell if he didn't anymore, though, his children were allowed to have what they wanted, as long as they paid attention to the value of it.
And tomorrow came to pass by on its own, as did everything else. Summer made its arrival, along with Xander's return from his second year at Hogwarts. Jackie graduated his school and was to be sent to the same wizarding school next year.
Slightly reluctantly, Draco kept his promise to his youngest son of two boys and began packing them up for moving back to England. After all, promises were made to be kept, weren't they?
"Now, are the two of you finished packing yet? Or almost, at least?" Mr. Malfoy called from the bathroom, fixing his hair for the plane. He had to look as perfect as his children were. Perfect hair was necessary in that case.
"ALMOST, DADDY! NOW FINISH FIXING YOUR HAIR! YOU CAN'T HAVE PERFECT CHIDREN WITH PERFECT HAIR IF YOU DON'T HAVE PERFECT HAIR YOURSELF! IMAGINE! YOU'LL LOOK SO OUT OF PLACE! And then… WE'LL be embarrassed!" Xander yelled back playfully at his father, shoving the rest of his things into his backpack for the journey. In return, he heard a hearty laugh come out of his parent's mouth.
Back in England, Harry was doing his daily work of writing loads of poems and short stories to keep him from doting on Draco. Ah, how he wished the blonde would just return to him… Maybe then, he would believe in real magic after all. Or wishes… or how dreams came true.
"Fucking hell. I'm never going to make it through like this… I just miss him. I want my ex-boyfriend back. I want Draco," his eyes started to blur as tears fell down his face. He didn't look so dead as he had over a year ago, but that didn't meant that he didn't need Draco.
An idea struck him in the skull for a new poem. His pen raced across the loose-leaf paper, scribbling his few words down.
'For granted, had I taken it.
And lonely, I continue the regret.
Sadly, I miss more than I expected.
Air in the night needs to be heated.
Although, nothing but him is accepted.
What was once love, has ended.
Wonder how I'll make ever make it.'
The three blondes, two adorable sons slept soundly in first class (of course) on the plane. Draco stayed awake, wishing he could back out of this right about now, except, that wouldn't go so well with the boys, and he really didn't want to disappoint them. He couldn't deny having missed Harry too. The way things used to be with the other man loving him so dearly.
What had once been love had turned into possession and desperation for power, like some sort of control fetish. Hopefully, he wouldn't be going back to that life. He wouldn't be able to take that any longer. No more tears shed for anyone. Not ever.
What for the approach at the door? He couldn't just show up at the door after about two years and expect to be welcomed back, could he? What if Potter had a boyfriend already? Or just didn't want him back? Gods… What would he do then! Insecurity was eating Draco alive, starting with his heart.
That Malfoy ego he used to possess had hidden itself away long ago, never to return again. Love hadn't left him though… right? He'd left love back in England instead, hopefully. It'd be even better if love was still there waiting for him with open arms to accept him once more, with feeling. To think so was quite selfish, but maybe, just maybe, it'd make up for all those years of selflessness when it came to his sons. He'd have to ask them that. Not yet. Possibly later.
An hour later, the plan ride was finally over. All Draco had to do was to find a taxi. Xander and Jackie were playing cards on the bench outside of the airport, enjoying themselves immensely. Except… it was kind of annoying that no one would stop for him. A goddamned taxi wasn't so much to ask for was it?
Ugh. Forget that. Why didn't he just call Harry up? OH yeah! Because he slammed the door in the guy's face quite a while back, even having seen the hurt in his eyes. Or at least… Jackie saw it. It could be worth a try. But then, he'd be taking advantage of someone who'd done the same thing to him. That'd make him just as bad as the other man had been.
Since when had morals come into play when one was trying to pay a visit to an ex-boyfriend who had done… non-consensual things to him? Enough questions to self. They couldn't stay at the airport forever. Draco decided on calling Harry up as his last resort. With the cell phone conveniently in the palm of his hand, he used the speed dial he couldn't bear to delete and called their old apartment.
"Hello?" the same baritone from so many years ago sounded so foreign to Draco now.
"Harry, it's Draco."
Mr. Harry Potter's heart nearly skipped a beat.
"Another ditch in the road.
Another stop sign.
You keep moving on.
And the months go by so fast.
Silent fortress built to last.
Wonder how I ever made it."
I really do hope you all enjoyed it. Review please, and no flames would be appreciated. Just to remind you, this is a one-shot story. There will be no sequel. Thank you for reading! Until next time
driven to insanity