O_O I have now officially sicked
my own self out. O_O;;;
Krad: ... Do I love you now, or am
I going to kill you, Meg-san?
Meg: ... Well, Satoshi's going to
Krad: Ah. ^_^ I guess I love you,
Meg: I guess so. >.>
Satoshi: I'm not going to kill you.
Meg: That's good.
Satoshi: I'm just going to make
you wish you'd die.
Meg: ... that's not so good. *tears
To hate lies, to shun deceit, to
cling to the pure cold blinding light of the truth -- these were the things
he had been taught, been trained in.
And now the darkness seeped in, softening
the stark beautiful glare of truth with a million subtle shades of black.
How do you hate a lie, when you are
It was a dream. He told himself that,
even knowing it was a lie -- for what was one more, among so many? -- and
even as those long arms and elegant hands slid around him, gently, tenderly.
He put up a token struggle, but the arms were so strong, and he so very
"Hush," whispered the voice, gentle
and loving, a rich voice filled with lying tenderness. "Be still."
He obeyed, hating himself even as
he did it. Krad's chest was oddly warm as his head leaned against
it; his arms around Satoshi were strong and comforting. It was a
lie, but the illusion was nearly perfect. "I hate you," he said.
It was the complaint of a tired child, he knew, and still couldn't help
"I know," said Krad, wrapping his
arms more tightly around Satoshi. Satoshi knew he could not
escape, and relaxed completely, docilely. "My poor Satoshi-sama," he crooned
gently, rocking him. "You are not even a thought to that boy," he
whispered, the words feathering into Satoshi's ear, "But that doesn't matter,
does it? I love you. I love you more than anything. Because
my everything is you, Satoshi-sama."
He stroked Satoshi's hair and slid
his hand down to Satoshi's chin, bringing his face up. "It's because
he doesn't love you that I'm going to kill him," he said. "Because
it makes you unhappy, does it not, sweet Satoshi-sama?"
"If you kill him, I will be unhappy,"
Krad kissed him, lightly, affectionately,
on the temple. "There is that, I suppose." For the first time, a
hint of frozen winter entered his voice. "But I will not allow him
to live. I'll kill him slowly, for taking your heart, and not accepting
yours. I'll make him pay with his own blood for taking you away from
"Stop it," said Satoshi sharply.
"Stop it!" He tried to struggle away, but Krad was still too strong for
"For you, Satoshi-sama," he said,
his voice thickening and his hand sliding over Satoshi's hair, curling
strands around his fingers, while his other hand slid slowly down Satoshi's
body, "For my dear one, for my beloved Satoshi-sama, I will rip out that
boy's heart and give it to you as it beats. And then you'll have
it," he crooned, lips sliding over Satoshi's face, and onto his lips.
Satoshi could taste him; ice and fire. Heat so great it froze, or
ice so very cold it registered as warmth. Krad kissed him, light,
burning, frozen kisses. "And you'll have his heart to hold for as
long as you want, my Satoshi. For forever. As I," he
whispered again, against Satoshi's lips, "will have you. My precious
"You're lying," said Satoshi, desperately,
"You're lying and you've always lied to me. To us. If you held
us precious you wouldn't --" Krad bit at his neck and Satoshi sucked in
his breath. "You're a lie," he almost screamed.
Krad's eyes, glittering, feline,
feral, locked into his. "And if I am?" Suddenly Satoshi was against
a wall, crushed between it and Krad. "If I am such a lie, O Best
Beloved--" his voice lingered over the words, deep and thick and caressing
"-- what does that make you?"
"A liar!" screamed Satoshi.
He sucked in a rattling, sobbing breath. "It makes me a liar, and
I know it." Something hot was dripping down his cheeks, and he realised
he was crying. It had been so very long since he cried. It
felt as if the tears were burning a path out of him, and his body shook
with deep, rasping sobs. "I'm a liar, and you're a lie, and I can't
find the truth anymore, because when I try -- when I try, my own LIE threatens
to kill it!" he screamed, fighting once again to be free of Krad. "Niwa's
the only truth I know and I'm afraid I'm going to kill him. Are you
satisfied now? Have you taken enough? Why don't you kill me now! Why don't
you! I wish you would, I wish you would kill me so I wouldn't know when
you hurt him!"
Krad simply tightened his grip on
him, and let him rage himself out. Satoshi fought, cursed, screamed
and sobbed, but Krad's strength was absolute, and finally Satoshi was limp.
His head felt like someone had pounded nails into it.
Krad gathered him close again and
licked the hot tracks of tears away from Satoshi's face. "Satoshi,"
he whispered, "I'm going to tell you a secret. Don't you want to
"No," said Satoshi, dully.
It was true. Any secret that Krad knew was something he did not want to
know. And now all he wanted was for Krad to leave him alone to his
pain and misery, let him curl in a small fetal ball and close out the world.
"It's a very important one," insisted
Krad, almost playfully. He kissed Satoshi again, nipped at his lips.
His hand slid down again and Satoshi was not quite surprised to find his
shirt was open, as Krad spread his hand over his chest and under the shirt
to his back. "Satoshi, dear Satoshi, my Satoshi, don't you want to
know?" Catch me, catch me, catch me, before I catch you, the children
sang, dancing in a circle around their blindfolded playmate. "I'll tell
you, dear Satoshi, and you'll be the only one to know." His hand
slid lower, and Satoshi shuddered, from disgust or unwilling arousal or
some strange mix.
Satoshi turned his head away from
Krad, a weak gesture of rebellion. "Why do I want to know?"
Krad chuckled. "I told you,"
he said, his hand moving from Satoshi's face, down his chest and to his
stomach. "It's a very important secret." His other hand moved from the
small of Satoshi's back to his neck, and turned his face gently back to
meet his, even as his other hand slid lower. Satoshi shuddered again,
more deeply. Krad smiled again, pleased. "Do you like that, my Satoshi?
I can make you like it more."
"I don't like it."
Krad nipped at his neck, and Satoshi
arched his neck unwillingly. "Now you are lying," said Krad, happily.
"But I'll tell you the secret anyway."
He bore Satoshi down to the ground,
and spread his shirt open. "You're the truth," he said. "You're
my only truth." He bent over him and kissed him, deeply. "And that's
a secret nobody else has ever known, my Satoshi."
Perhaps again, 'truth' was not starkness
and icy light. Perhaps it was the subtle shades of black that made
that pure shining whiteness so lovely.
O_O Wai. Yet another weird
fic with a Funkay Ending. From Meg. O_O;
I was thinking about making it a
lemon, as opposed to a limescented thing, but I didn't feel QUITE up to
that whole non-con thing. O_O; No matter what Krad whined.
Satoshi: And that's the only reason
you still live a relatively painfree existence.
Meg: O_o;;;; A-Anyway, I think I
went far enough, deshou?
Satoshi: Too far.
Meg: ... and you share the same
Feedback ni onegaishiamasu~. ^^;