A/N: This is not an original idea, by any means, but then again, are there really any original ideas left in the world? I never thought I'd write a story like this, no matter how tempting, because there are plenty of very good stories with similar premises already out there. However, I caved. I'll blame it on the hormones, although that excuse is fading fast. As my oldest daughter said the other day, "Mummy is always pregnant." This is the first time for my baby sister, however, and I'm so happy about that I can't even say. Real life is quite amazing and strange on its own sometimes, right?
Ch 1: A Simple Request
Jack O'Neill groaned as his alarm went off. He slapped at it until it stopped beeping, hoping he had only pressed the Snooze button and not shut it off completely. He burrowed his head under his pillow, squinting against the bright morning light streaming into his bedroom, and tried to go back to sleep.
He was promptly engulfed in an impossible bright white light and found himself face down on the floor of Thor's ship.
"No," he groaned, opening his eyes reluctantly.
He was met with a pair of little gray feet. Resisting the childish urge to reach out and see if Thor's feet were ticklish, he groaned and rocked up to a sitting position, legs sticking out in front of him.
"Thor, buddy, if you want me to save the world again you're going to have to beam me up some coffee," he said with what he hoped was a convincing smile.
Thor narrowed his eyes slightly and said, "Greetings O'Neill," as he fiddled with his little beaming-thingy again.
"I was joking about the coff..." Jack started, trailing off as his 2IC materialized next to him.
Major Sam Carter, the smartest person he knew with the best military reflexes he'd seen... was still sound asleep, despite her recent demolecularization or whatever it was Thor was always doing to them. "She is a sound sleeper," Thor commented, sounding mildly curious.
Jack looked at the little curled up ball that was his 2IC and said, "Well, this was the first time she's slept in three days, she's tired. So this better be important," he said, not bothering to hide the unpleasant tone of his voice as he nudged Sam's shoulder.
Her very bare shoulder, he couldn't help but note. Apparently his 2IC liked to sleep in little camisoles, he noted with a grin. And underwear, and nothing else. He glanced at Thor quickly, hoping his little gray buddy wasn't paying either of them too much attention. As if he would bother travelling to Earth, beam them to his ship while they were sleeping, and then ignore them.
"Come on, Carter, wake up, you've got company," Jack said, squeezing her shoulder.
She jerked awake and sat up so fast he had to dive out of the way to avoid their heads colliding. "Sir?" she asked, blinking at him in confusion. "What the hell..." she looked around and he had to laugh at the absolutely shocked look on her face. "Thor? What's going on?" she asked, getting to her feet nervously.
She looked down at herself, glanced at Jack, and blushed furiously. He couldn't help but notice the blush crept all the way down her neck to the top of her... "Thor, forcryinoutloud do you have any clothes around here?" he demanded.
He scanned his naked gray buddy's body and sighed. "I am sorry, O'Neill. I can adjust the temperature if you are uncomfortable, Major Carter..."
"Um, that's not really the problem..." Sam tried to explain, crossing her arms uncomfortably.
Jack rolled his eyes and quickly pulled off the Air Force tee-shirt he always slept in. "There," he said, tossing it to her. She pulled it on gratefully. It came halfway down her thighs, but after the show he'd just gotten, seeing her in his night-shirt was still more distracting than the fact that they still didn't know what Thor wanted them for in the first place.
"Um, Thor, are you going to fill us in now?" Sam asked.
"Yes, please do," Jack said, crossing his arms over his bare chest. Hey, he was just glad he'd been wearing boxers to bed. If he'd materialized naked he didn't know what he'd have done.
"Very well, O'Neill. I shall 'fill you in.' Would you like to have a seat? I am sorry I woke you both, but I thought it best to take you from your homes rather than the SGC, as that seems to send your base into a slight panic."
"No problem, Thor," Jack said, sitting down on the slightly cold black floor of Thor's ship. Sam sat down next to him and hugged her legs to her chest. Even sitting down, Jack was nearly as tall as Thor, so he met his eye and said, "Spill it buddy."
"As you are aware, the Asgard are a dying race. We have been trying to fix our cloning problems for many, many generations."
"You're not about to tell me that Loki guy's made another screwed up clone of me, are ya?" Jack asked. "Cuz the Air Force was pretty decent about the last one but if this becomes a habit..."
"Loki has been punished, O'Neill. He will not be permitted to conduct experiments any longer, and our research has proven that cloning your DNA will not solve our problem. However, we would like you to consider helping us in... another way."
"What exactly are you talking about, Thor?" Sam asked, sounding slightly alarmed.
"What?" Jack asked, not having a clue what Thor was talking about or why Sam looked suddenly nervous.
"We believe O'Neill is an important step forward, but not the final step. To continue the evolution of your species and hopefully assist the development of ours as well, O'Neill, you need to procreate. Our studies of your people's physiology shows that most people have already spawned by the time they have reached your age. We had hoped you would have spawned..."
"Can you stop saying 'spawned,' please!" Jack interrupted, not liking where this was heading at all.
"Very well. We had hoped you would have propagated by now on your own but you have not. The Asgard council feels the time has come to openly encourage you to propagate before you are incapable of doing so."
"Hey, I'm plenty CAPABLE, okay, buddy, you can tell your council and anybody else who wants to know that that is not a problem..."
"Um, sir," Sam cut in quietly. "Remember what General Hammond said..."
"General Hammond's been talking about my..."
"No, sir," she interrupted pointedly. "About... diplomacy."
"Oh. Right," Jack grumbled. "All right, well, look Thor, I'm really sorry about your problems, but you can't just order me to start making babies..."
"I do not understand," Thor said. "You like children, O'Neill?"
"Well, sure, but..."
"We would only require a small sample of the child's blood, that is all..."
"Look, you can't just... hey, what's Carter doing here anyway? You gonna try to make her 'spawn' too."
"Well, we all felt Major Carter was the natural choice to assist you in propagation," Thor said patiently, as though he was being forced to point out something blatantly obvious, along the lines of 'the sky is blue, the grass is green.'
It was a very good thing that both of them started yelling at Thor at the same time, because he couldn't tell exactly what either of them were saying. He got the gist of it, however, and waited for them to calm down before speaking again.
"While Major Carter does not carry the Ancient DNA, the Asgard believe her to be the best specimen your planet has to offer. She is clearly the most intelligent and possesses many other qualities that should be passed on as well. Additionally we know her to be an extremely compassionate and affectionate individual, and our studies have shown that is important for the development of human children..."
"Okay, first of all, don't call her a 'specimen,' okay, Thor? Second of all, affectionate?"
He turned to Sam with the 'Carter, explain' look and she blushed and said, "I ah... got a bit carried away once and... hugged... Thor. A little bit. Sir."
He laughed at that but then refocused his attention on the very strange issue at hand. "Look, Thor..."
"I did not expect you to have any objections to having children with Major Carter, O'Neill," Thor said in that 'I'm barely restraining my impatience at the stupidity of these humans' tone of his. "Surely there is not another human you would rather procreate with?"
"I... wu... Thor, you're missing the point. You can't just tell us to have a baby!"
"Why not? You would both make excellent parents and we would be very grateful..."
"Thor, aside from obvious personal issues we both have with what you're suggesting," Sam cut in, trying to be diplomatic. She could tell Jack was about a second away from strangling Thor. "The Air Force has rules against that sort of thing. General Hammond would never allow it. We would both be kicked out of the Air Force. Colonel O'Neill could even be incarcerated. At the very least, we would be reassigned, and we wouldn't be able to continue working at the SGC, which is important not only to both of us but to the safety of the planet as well."
"General Hammond is a reasonable man, Major Carter, perhaps if I explained the situation to him he would make an exception," Thor said, moving over to one of his consoles. Sam and Jack exchanged a panicked look as he started sliding and twisting things.
"No, wait, Thor, let us get dressed..." Jack started.
"Thor, please, you can't ask him..." Sam said at the same time.
The next thing they knew, they were standing in the gateroom with twenty or so guns pointed at them and General Hammond was yelling at them. "COLONEL O'NEILL! MAJOR CARTER! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN THE GATEROOM HALF NAKED!"