Title: Morning Wolf
Author: LupinLovesTonks
Rated: PG-13 (for now)
Disclaimer: There was this one time, in my dreams, that I owned everything JK did. Unfortunately that was just a dream. So are the millions of dollars I make on writing this fic.
Summary: While on a journey to find himself, Remus Lupin finds himself in danger in America then finds salvation in a most unlikely place.
Pairing: RLOC
AN: There's some revamping going on, so far each chapter has been tweaked and fixed to the point that it is the story I intended it to be. Subtle differences you may notice: The Wolf refers to the full moon as his Goddess, a source of release and Remus refers to the full moon as a curse... Back-story emerges, I am making things a little more clear so everyone's not reading and going "when did that happen?" There will be more detail about Morning Wolf's past, Remus' past, pretty much everyone's past... And The White Wolf gets to play a more active role, as does The Wolf Maiden... And, surprisingly, so do the wolves that are supposed to be on the reservation.
And, as always, my idea of editting a fic for posting is -- spell check/ grammer check --. Please don't let any grammical errors and such get in the way. I know they're most likely there but, I have no editor so I can't effectively get all that stuff caught. so forgive me ;)

Chapter One
February 1982-
It had all began as a sabbatical for his spiritual well being after losing all his friends in a mere matter of hours. He'd been through England, Scotland, Ireland, most of the European countries, a few African countries, before managing passage onto a ship for Brazil. From Brazil, he'd travelled through various South American countries, Central America, Mexico, and finally into United States.

He'd met many people; all had made a lasting impression in his heart and mind. Some he'd prefer to forget, others he'd hoped he never would. He'd learned things from every person he'd come across. From tribes of African natives to the Dogmen of Mexico, all had their own special brand of magic, which he had been all too eager to learn about.

Dumbledore had been the one to encourage the journey and had even financed it. In addition to his travelling cloak and other travelling clothes, he wore a simple leather pouch, bewitched with an anti-breaking charm.

The pouch provided him with whatever he needed to make it on his path of self-discovery. It always provided the amount and currency he required for food, trinkets, and sleeping places. Once, he could have sworn the pouch had somehow supplied him with a "Swahili/English" dictionary in his sleep, while working his way through Africa. But, he'd never been able to prove it, so just concluded he'd conjured it by accident.

It hadn't been until he crossed into United States that he felt as if he were being hunted. Perhaps it had been his wolf, only days away from being released that had sensed the men following him at a distance. It hadn't been until the full moon had forced him to change, that he truly felt threatened by the hunters, which had been following him since he'd stopped for a bite to eat outside of El Paso.

He had sensed their suspicion. Even though, at first, he'd wanted to be naive and think them only as wolf hunters, the silver bullets they had shot at him had quickly dispersed that idea, no matter how naive he wanted to be. It was this pack of hunters' goal in life to rid the world of all werewolves. And he was nothing more than another pelt to them. They didn't care to know that he was nothing more than a harmless, heart-broken wizard on ever other night of the month.

His feet were growing weary as he fled through the forests. His wolf senses could still hear footsteps of the hunters behind him. At first he hadn't seen them as a threat, seeing them as merely a couple of the wolf hunters he'd heard that had started plaguing America. But both him and the wolf had realized, when the first bullet barely grazed his cheek, they were not mere wolf hunters.

It had been a mutual agreement between wolf and man to not chance the odds of one werewolf against a pack of werewolf hunters. So, he'd fled as fast as his paws could take him. His wolfish cheek was burning where the bullet had grazed his flesh. He yelped painfully as one of the bullets went through his frail leg, just as he broke out of the forest and onto the long highway.

Finally, he was safe. They wouldn't dare follow after him into the open, where they could get caught by game wardens for hunting what appeared to be a common grey wolf. He'd been right to assume they wouldn't risk the exposure of the magical world for the head of a werewolf.

The moon was still high and clear in the sky. Full and perfectly rounded like the curse it was on his human soul. The wolf refused to curse the moon back. Besides, the wolf loved the moon in all her round, beauteous, glory. Her white rays washed down on him, soothing his ageing soul.

A soft whimper came from his throat as he hobbled along the highway. He looked back and almost wanted to shudder as he saw that the bullet had gone through his hind leg. He had to look a sight to anyone that might have seen him. His was quickly becoming a bloody, battered mess from all the blood his leg and a gash in his side was oozing out. The wolf was ashamed of himself for showing himself to his Goddess in the state he was in. He felt so weak before her watchful eye, but he did not want to grovel and beg for mercy. If she wanted him saved, she would save him.

A pair of bright lights over took his vision, just before he finally succumbed to exhaustion and collapsed on the side of the highway. Perhaps his Goddess wished him dead and was abandoning him and allowing this coming auto to forever put him from his pain.

He heard the car stop and its door opened, followed by the sound of rapidly approaching feet. His wolf senses took in the smell of a human and he gave a growl, warning her to keep away from the dying wolf. Why didn't you run me over? I am in so much pain and you deny me release! Dear Goddess that rules my soul why do you forsake me?

He inhaled again and suddenly that of a wolf replaced the scent. He opened his eyes and saw a woman kneeling down beside him. The wolf was confused, it saw a woman but smelt a wolf. He growled again, a little deeper this time in hopes she would know he was serious. Suddenly, behind her, a white wolf looked around at him.

Be still, the white wolf whispered to him as she touched her nose to his ear.

My Goddess saves me, the wolf thought with relief. She has not forsaken me after all. His amber eyes gazed into the calm blue ones of the white wolf. Her eyes glowed like the silvery blue depths, like the round goddess that always released him from the confines of a mortal body every month.

"I can save you. Please allow me to help you," the woman whispered, fearlessly reaching out to stroke his gleaming coat.

She can save you, Remus, the white wolf said, nudging her nose under his chin. She will let you rest for a while and care for you.

The wolf then knew who the white wolf was. His Goddess had come to save him; she had brought him a healer that would restore him to his full health again. Even though his first instinct was to devour the woman in order to gain his health, he knew this would be impossible in his weakness.

Yes, first he would let the Healer his wolf goddess had sent to him do her task, then, he would feed upon her to absorb her healing magic. Heal for now, feed later.

She is not yours to devour child, the white wolf growled. Should you harm her, the white rays that cleanse you and renew you shall become your torment.

The wolf decided to keep to his Goddess' order not to harm the woman. Somewhere in the deepest recesses of the wolf's mind, a man was beginning to slowly stir. In a few hours' time he would be taking over the wolf and the wolf would loose contact with his beautiful round goddess. And there would be another month or torment for the wolf, torment of being cursed by the other moon phases, unable to call out to his fading goddess in the sky. But they would be reunited again.

As ruthless as the man tried to make him seem, the wolf was patient and was ready and willing to spend the next month locked away like a prisoner. All that the wolf wanted was to howl his blessings up to Goddess like a good wolf. He hadn't really let himself ever desire to feed upon the flesh of humans since his friends had left him. They had taught him there were much more interesting things to eat than small children.

Where had they gone, the wolf wondered -- that boisterous stag, that playful black canine that was nearly as massive as he was, that helpful little rat that they loved to roll back and forth on the floor of that old house -- The ones that he had spent so much time with?

The man hadn't mentioned them for several months. Perhaps the man was being ruthless to him and denying him his companions. Why did the man want to punish him so? The wolf felt cursed, cursed and stuck within the body of a mortal that had no idea what he really was.

Give us time, the white wolf said gently. We know how to get him to like you again. You just wait my little cub.

The wolf felt his senses being overtaken by a fragrance that calmed him rapidly. He felt as if he were floating and then lain upon the warmth of the Wolf Goddess' arms. He opened his eyes slightly and gazed at the cool blue eyes of the white wolf, which lie beside him, before slipping into unconsciousness.


Remus awoke with a start. It felt as if his flesh were on fire. His eyes rolled back in his head as he breath began catching in his throat. James and Lily needed his help, he could hear them calling from somewhere far away. They were screaming, "It's the rat! The rat, Remus! Help us! Save us from the rat!"

He had run as fast as he could. Even though he had seen the mark appear, he had run anyway. Maybe if he got there in time he could capture the monster that had killed them. When he got there, Sirius had arrived only moments earlier and was cradling a tiny bundle in his arms.

"Go get Dumbledore!" Sirius barked, causing the bundle to begin crying.

"TRAITOR!" Remus screamed out in his delirium. But the images before him had faded again and he could no longer avenge his friends. He was panting heavily as he fell back to lying down. "You betrayed us all, Sirius," he murmured as he heard a door being flung open.

He heard a voice bark out an order in a language he couldn't understand. He bellowed in aggravation, in pain, and in fury. But a figure was now standing over him, surrounded by an intense golden light. The golden rays made the dark hair look like it was...

"Lily! Sirius betrayed you! He betrayed you and James! He's killed Peter too!" he cried. "Dumbledore sent Harry away with your sister! He betrayed you; he betrayed all of us... All of us Lily..."

He felt a warm hand on his chest and he was pushed to lying down once again, unaware that he'd sat up to scream out how Sirius had betrayed them. His eyes rolled back again as he felt more hands on him, on his arms, his chest, and his head. Several voices had begun to softly chant, and a bitter scent seemed to invade his senses.

"He's dreaming of evils," the voice for only moments ago whispered. "We need some catchers, three large ones. His flesh burns like fire; the infection wants to devour him. We must hurry!"

The bitter scent had invaded his nostrils again and he faded away into the solitude of darkness.