Has the world gone mad? No! It's just that am I writing this story while sick, so I have no intent of writing anything more miserable than I am. This is probably the only happy story you will ever see out of me. I don't know, make what you will out of it.
Oh, and I don't own PotC.
"Jack, I'm sorry, but you don't have to take it like that."
"If you were stranded on a bloody island – twice – and all there bloody was to bloody drink was bloody rum, you'd think you'd get a bit sick of it, wouldn't you? How hard is it to figure that out?"
His dark eyes glared at his young friend accusingly. His folded arms displayed no signs of forgiveness. The last thing you want to do is get a pirate cross. It might very well be the last thing you do.
"I mean, I had to live on this stuff for four bloody days. Four days! And I didn't even like it much in the first place. I just wanted to get drunk so I wouldn't have to think about being marooned on a bloody island!"
His companion blanched. "I'm sorry, Jack, really . . ."
Jack sighed suddenly. "Ah, well. I should've expected something like this."
"You always do something stupid." The pirate flashed a mischievous grin, relaxing his stance.
Will, after getting over his relief that Jack was not actually mad at him, suddenly found himself filled with irritation. "You . . . I thought you were really mad! You scared me!"
Jack's grin just grew wider as he sat down. "Should've seen the look on your face. Now, back to business." He turned to the table in front of him. "So, the rum's out. Now, this little bottle here, this is very nice. I like this one."
Will rolled his eyes. "Jack, they serve that at funerals."
"So? Is it in the rules somewhere that you always drink it at wakes?" He looked up at the young man's face and sighed in defeat. "Alright. That one's out." He put the cork back in the bottle and tucked it neatly into a bag he was carrying.
"You don't need it, do you?" the pirate said innocently. "You said you weren't going to drink it."
Will sighed, and collapsed into the chair across from him. Jack patted him on the shoulder. "Don't look so glum, boy! This should be a happy time, right?"
"I just . . ." Will shook his head. "It's all so much."
Jack nodded. After a moment's silence, he said, "Bill probably would've been a lot more help, eh?"
Will couldn't help but smile. "After everything you've told me about my father, I'm starting to wonder if you've gotten us confused. He sounds so much like me . . ."
"Aye, he was," Jack stopped him. "I remember, when it was Bill's time, he looked like a fish out of the water. I had to drag him all the way through town." He paused. "Of course, Bill never had to compete with a commodore or worry about in-laws."
Will gave him a look.
"But, you know, he always said that it was a very good thing there was lots of good ale, cause he got good and drunk and he didn't have to worry about the rest of the night."
Will leaned back, his disbelieving look at its highest power.
"Except when the church caught on fire, then he had a couple of problems."
Will laughed, imagining his very drunk father and a much younger Jack throwing barrels of ale on a burning church. "That's one thing I don't think I'll have to worry about."
"That's the spirit! Now let's pick the drinks so we can drink what we're not serving."
Pretending not to hear Will's protests, Jack poured two glasses of a fiery drink they had already decided against. Handing a glass to Will, he clinked a toast before downing the contents and pouring out some more.
"Jack, I do not want to deal with a drunk pirate right now."
"Just a glass or two, Will! Come on, boy, you're not even going to have a bachelor party, at least drink a little while you still can."
Will grinned wryly. "Actually, ever since she got back, Elizabeth has bee quite taken to alcohol. I don't think she'll have any objections to drinking."
"I didn't mean she won't let you drink. I mean t you'll have to stop drinking for fear of poisons."
Will laughed again, and finally drank, letting the liquid calm his nerves. "Thanks for being here, Jack."
Will put his hand on the pirate's shoulder. "You always manage to lighten the atmosphere. Even in the face of imminent death."
"Or worse; imminent ceremonies," Jack corrected, raising his glass. "Here's to the bride and groom."
Will laughed and held his glass up, as well. "Here's to all of us," he corrected, grinning. "Because I don't think there would have been a wedding without a certain infamous pirate."
The two men drank, and Jack set down his glass with a sigh. "Good luck to you, Will Turner."
The pirate grinned. "You'll need it."
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