Cat Fight


Jeremy Harper

Note – The X-Men are the property of Marvel Comics and are used without permission.

The comments from the Comic Book Resources Forum that inspired this mess.

Xakko: You just know Rachel and 'Yana would get into a huge catfight over Kitty...

Rachel Grey: Sad thing is, I could soooo see this.

Hmmm... What happened to share and share alike?

They asked for it.

Cat Fight

"Uh, Katya?"

"Yeah, Petey?"

"Why is my sister wrestling with Rachel?"

"They're not just wrestling. Ray gave 'Yana one hell of a bitch-slap just a minute ago, and I think – oh, yeah, baby!"

"Snowflake! I can't believe you did that!"

"Shut up, Piotr! I'm busy!"

"Grrr… I'm gonna kill you for that, you demon-loving tramp!"

"Bring it on, time-tripping hussy!"

"I can not believe… My little sister tore off Rachel's shirt!"

"I can't believe Ray's wearing something like that underneath her shirt. You can see right through it. Nice rack, Red!"

"I think I am getting a headache. Please explain to me what is going on."

"Rachel and Illyana both want to get into my pants. They were arguing about who was going to get to try first when… things escalated."

"I see…"


"… You are okay with this?"

"Pretty much."


"Why are you looking at me like that, Peter?"

"Is there something you wish to tell me?"

"Oh… Hey, Peter. I love you to death, and you're my main man, now and always. But a girl sometimes gets the itch to… experiment. You know what I mean?"

"Yes, I am most definitely getting a headache."

"Oh, don't be that way. Hey, if you're a really good boy, maybe I'll let you share the winner with me… You're turning red, Peter. Want a sip of coke?"

"Uhh… Katya, you do remember that one of the combatants fighting for your affection is my little sister, right?"

"No duh! But I've heard stories about you farm-folk. Some of you really like to keep it in the family."

"I am Siberian, Katya. Not West Virginian."

"Oh, come on. Just look at Illyana! I mean, if you didn't know she was your sister, can you tell me with a straight face that you wouldn't tap her ass if you had the chance? Hee hee. You okay? You look like you're having a hard time breathing. D'you need some mouth-to-mouth?"

"I have a headache, now. And I am thinking I should have stayed dead…"