The group of student moved up to the castle, though they had to wait for Ariella to retrieve her wand from Draco's carriage (in which he was trying to order Crabbe and Goyle to snap it in half). They passed through the front doors and met up with Professor McGonagall, who instead of leading a group of first years, was heading a crowd of at least five dozen girls who all looked to be between fifteen and sixteen years old. Surprisingly, she wasn't looking very happy at all.
"You, with the hood, stop setting that other girl's skirt on fire! You, ninja-outfit, stop crawling on the ceiling! And you with the tail, stop scratching your ears- you're getting fleas everywhere!"
"Yes, mommy!" the girl with the tail chimed.
"I'm not your mother, girl!" McGonagall shouted, her lips thinning more than Harry had ever seen.
"Hey, we were supposed to take the boats over! Whoops!" Angel giggled, quickly skipping over to where the rest of the girls were. Ariella followed, knocking the Professor's glasses askew with her wand. Saka-Puko-Rana winked at Harry.
"I didn't mind taking the carriage with you- we should have some alone time more often."
After running her hand flirtingly down his shoulder, she slid into the group with the others. Harry, glad to be rid of Ariella, Angel, and Saka-Puko-Rana, beamed at the Head of Gryffindor before quickly ducking into the Great Hall to watch the sorting… which he guessed would be the most interesting sorting yet.
Talk and chatter filled the Great Hall as usual; discussing new hairstyles, the summer holidays, and of course those strange people on the train. But a hush fell over the crowd at the two doors in the back opened and a very harassed-looking Professor McGonagall strode in; a large gaggle of students trailed behind in her wake. But, unlike usual, they weren't short, young, and completely terrified. Instead they were tall, around sixteen, and all chatting animatedly to each other. They lined up in perfect order where the first years would have lined up, looking expectantly up at the stool that McGonagall was setting up and the Sorting Hat. There was silence in the room for a few moments, but then a rip in the brim of the old hat ripped open and it began to sing out its traditional song.
you've just come to our school
Among your fellow peers,
Come slip me on over your head
And see what's 'tween your ears.
I'll see what stuff you are made of
And be your faithful guide
I'll have a poke inside your head
To see where you'll reside—"
But the hat halted suddenly in its song and moved as if looking around, its mouth no longer singing, but frowning. After a few moments of sweeping around staring at the sixteen-year-old 'first years', it stopped, cleared its …throat, and then began to sing once more.
"—Where are all the first years?
It's only teens I see!
And all of them are female,
Not a male standing before me.
I'm worried what I might find
Inside these tiny brains,
I'm sure it will bring nothing
But a very large migraine.
Ah, well, let's get this over with,
Just sit me on their heads,
I'll bear it, but I refuse to grin—
I'd rather first years instead.
Now the hat went silent for good, waiting, probably steeling itself, to be placed upon the first sixteen-year-olds perfectly highlighted curls. McGonagall, seeming to really pity the Sorting Hat, unraveled the list that contained all the names. She stared at the list, her eyes bulging a little as she scanned the names. After a few more moments of McGonagall making strange noises as she read the list, she finally seemed to compose herself and barked out the first name.
There was an instant outbreak of talk from the staff table, and the dull thumping sound of Harry letting his head fall onto the table. A (predictably) sixteen-year-old girl flounced up and seated herself on the stool, giggling loudly as she allowed the Transfiguration Professor to place the Sorting Hat on her black-haired head. There was a terribly long silence, where the Sorting Hat mumbled to itself. Finally, it seemed to just snap.
"I can't sort her!" It said, flapping its rim. McGonagall looked alarmed.
"Why ever not? Is she too much of all four Houses?"
"No, just the opposite! I've shifted through her brain at least five times over, and I all I can find is unicorns, ponies, sparkles and sugar! No bravery, no wit, no cunning, no work ethic! Where is she supposed to go!"
"Gryffindor, of course!" Angelina Black said in a sing-song voice.
"No way, I wouldn't curse the Gryffindors with you!" The Hat snapped back.
"Er, could I make a suggestion?" A small voice offered, coming from far down on the floor. It was Professor Flitwick, looking as timid as ever. "Perhaps we should I should tell you all about … the 'Lost Founder'?"
Everyone stared at him. He looked alarmed at all the attention, and started shifting uncomfortably. McGonagall was the first to speak.
"The 'Lost Founder'? There were only ever four, Filius."
"No, the Lost Founder, you know. That... special one." He looked flustered that no one was getting his points. Finally, turning his back to the line of new students, and mouthed 'Play along!' to the staff table, and put finger-quotations around the 'Lost Founder'. McGonagall spoke again, trying to look convincing.
"Oh yes, that Lost Founder! Please, Filius, continue."
"Yes, right. The Lost Founder! Er… back with Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin, there was... ah, Madame…Pinkiprance?Yes, that's the one. She was the fifth Founder, and was only rediscovered… yesterday? Yes, so we need to give her a proper house. For 'Those who are… pretty? And … um, pink?' Yes. Right. So. There. Sort away."
Flitwick then rushed off back to hide behind the Staff Table. The Sorting hat's brim curled into a grin, and he settled back down to get comfortable on Angelina Black's head. Then, with feigned muttering and pretending to actually think, he shouted out 'PINKIPRANCE!' and Angelina had to go off to the table that McGonagall had just conjured, squashed in between the wall and Gryffindor. The list continued.
"Black, Angela! Black, Angelica! Black, Angie!" All of these were sorted into Pinkiprance.
"Black, Hit-o-soy-ra-nit-a?" McGonagall took a full minute trying to pronounce the first name correctly. From the ceiling dropped back could be assumed to be a girl, garbed in a full ninja outfit, complete with a saber slung across her back. She tossed down some smoke bombs and then did a nice flip right onto the stool, her slanted eyes sweeping around from between a gap in the mask that covered her face. She spoke, doing back flips and fancy things with her sword as she did.
"I am Hitosoyranita Black! Daughter of Sirius and Cho, niece of Dumbledore, half-sister of Angelina, Angelica, Angie, and Angela, heir to the Chang-Ninja throne, and sole wielder of the power of unaided flight due to a rather tragic story! Hoooooy-AH!" She had finished her little speech by chopping the sorting hat's stool in half. From the crowd, about five girls shouted out "OMG! Dumbledore's my uncle, too!"
"Oh, just put on the damn hat." McGonagall said, not seeming to heed the gasps and chorus of 'Ooooo! You said the 'd' word!' from the line of new people. She thrust the Sorting Hat onto Hitosoyranita's head and instantly, it shouted 'PINKIPRANCE!' and the four girls already sorted clapped. Hitosoyranita flew over to the table and seated herself, not before stabbing her sword into the table.
A girl with silvery hair with bright red highlights wound her way up to the table, nose in the air. Harry, from his seat at Gryffindor, raised an eyebrow.
"Blimey, Bill and Fleur got at it early."
"I'm em Francees Delacour, ee dau-tair of Ron and Fleur!" She stated in a bad French accent, flipping her silvery-red hair around. All eyes in the Great Hall whipped around to stare at Ronald Weasley, who had turned as red as his hair.
"Merlin knows I've wanted to, but…"
Hermione slapped him and moved to sit on the other side of Harry. Ginny then took her turn to slap him, stating, "And were mad about Ariella!" Ron rubbed his cheek, looking at Francis with a look of horror.
"PINKIPRANCE!" the hat shouted, and Francis skipped off to the table.
"Dumbledore, Jane?" A young girl with white hair bounced onto the recently mended stool, giggling and waving back at the staff table where Dumbledore was staring at her strangely.
"Dumbledore's my dad! And her and her and her and her and her are my sisters!" five white-haired girls (one of them had a beard) waved. The hat spoke.
"PINKIPRANCE! And, what the heck, those five are in Pinkiprance, too." The six spawn of Dumbledore giggled together and went to sit with their new housemates.
"Gryffindor, Gertrude?" A young girl popped up and sat on the stool.
"I'm the sole heir of Gryffindor!" she stated proudly, holding her head high. A chorus of a half a dozen girls saying "Me, too!" came from in front of her.
"Pinkiprance, it is, then!" The sorting hat said after being put on her head.
"Shouldn't I be in Gryffindor?"
"Lestrange, Laura! Lestrange, Lellatrix! Lestrange, Lisa!"
"Lupin, Wolfie! Lupin, Wolfe! Lupin, Wolfgang!"
"Oh! Oh! That's me!" a young girl screamed, hopping up and down. McGonagall glared at her- it was the girl with the tail from before. She had cat ears, a cat tail, and her eyes were cat-like slits (though still a sparkling blue!). She perched herself on the stool, grinning with her fangs. "I'm Kitty McGonagall, daughter of Professor McGonagall! I'm a cat person, since she's an animagi and … well, it happens!"
"No it doesn't!" snapped McGonagall. "I don't have a daughter, and the effects of an animagi are not passed down to the children!"
"Oh, you're just being silly!" Kitty giggled, playing the hat on her head. Instantly, it shouted 'PINKIPRANCE!', and Kitty was sent on her way.
"Angel, Potter! Saka-Puko-Rana, Potter!"
"That's us!" Angel said, dragging her sister along with her so they could both sit on the stool at the same time. The Sorting Hat shouted 'PINKIPRANCE!' before either of them could even put it on their heads.
"Wait, shouldn't we be in Gryffindor?" Angel argued.
"Ravenclaw, Rachel! Ravenclaw, Rebecca!"
"Hmm. Ravenclaw! HA HA, GOTCHA. Pinkiprance."
"…Riddle, Voldemorta; Riddle, Mortavolde; Riddle, Volmortade; Riddle, Demortavol; Riddle, Sue."
Through the doors of the entrance hall burst the thundering of hooves and the beating of wings. Two thestrals galloped forward, drawing gasps from the students as they passed. The students were staring at the riders, the female Voldemort's Harry had seen earlier. Two other thestrals were flying into the Great Hall from above, their riders making swoops and circles overhead. Harry counted: there were only four. Finally, another thestrals slowly came through the door, looking exhausted from the fat rider on top of it that Harry assumed was 'Sue'.
"Blimey, wot're yeh doin' on my Thestrals?" Hagrid roared, shooing the five Riddles off from their backs and quickly leading the skeletal horses out the doors and probably back to the Forbidden Forest. The five girls, already dismounted and slowly stepping into a line by the Sorting Hat, didn't seem to notice. One of them stepped forward; her black hair pulled back into a thick braid, and spoke. Her voice, instead of slow, low and menacing, was just the opposite- high-pitched and cheery, though it was obvious she was trying to be for former.
"I am Volmortade Riddle, and these are my sisters- Voldemorta, Mortavolde, Demortavol, and Sue. We are the daughters of the great Dark Wizard Voldemort!"
There was a collective wince from the students seated and the staff table (though none of the new arrivals seemed to care at all). Volmortade continued.
"We have come to Hogwarts to learn, even though we really do resent what our father does, and even though we're sure we should be in Slytherin, we'd rather be in Gryffindor so that we could continue to try and be respectful and kind."
"Oh, no, neither for you. Pinkiprance. NEXT!"
The five Riddles, casting dark looks and even waving their wands around angrily, stalked off to the Pinkiprance table. McGonagall continued.
"Snape, Sarah! Severus… you never said…"
"Because it's not, Minerva. About as much as 'Kitty' is yours." Snape said, glaring down at her.
"Good point." McGonagall said, casting a look that wasn't unlike disgust towards the Pinkiprance table. Sarah Snape pranced up and seated herself on the stool. She was extremely beautiful, like all the others (with the exception of the Riddles), but had Snape's long, greasy hair.
"Slytherin, right? Just like dear ol' dad!" She said, turning around and giving a thumbs-up to Snape.
"Call me that and I'll hex your head into smithereens, girl." He hissed, tapping his wand against his palm. Sarah looked slightly alarmed and whirled back to the front to hear the Sorting Hat say, "Actually, Pinkiprance fits you."
She moved off to the correct table, hissing to herself.
"Snumbledore, Moonlight!" A girl with half white hair, half black hair, and a long, crooked, hooked nose (but still managed to look beautiful) sat on the stool. She grinned broadly, turned around, waved cheerily to the staff table, and then gave her little speech.
"I'm Moonlight Snumbledore, the love-child of Snape and Dumbledore!"
Everyone in the Great Hall (with the exception of the Pinkiprance table and new students) either gasp, stared, or looked violently ill. Snape and Dumbledore were staring, too, but it seemed that Snape was about to hex her off the face of the earth. McGonagall, who seemed to be finally cracking and found the entire thing hilarious, calmed herself enough to say the next name.
A tall black girl with red hair swooped onto the stool, grinning broadly at everyone. Ginny's eyes widened and Ron's ears turned so red they nearly exploded. Harry raised his eyebrows. The spawn of Dean and Ginny? Woah. No.
"I'm Dinny Weasley! My mum is Ginny, my dad is Dean! I love the West Ham soccer-" most of the old students gave her strange looks, since soccer was an American term for football "-team and I enjoy using the Bat-Bogey's Hex!"
After that speech, she was unceremoniously sorted into Pinkiprance.
A girl with a fire-engine red Mohawk came quickly up to the sorting hat. She, like many others, turned around to give her entire background 'just so they knew'.
"I am Wendy Weasley, cousin to the Weasley family from Arthur's side! WE'RE EVIL! I'm a Death Eater! I have killed all the mudbloods that have even looked at me funny! HA!" but she turned around sharply and grinned right at Harry, fluttering her eyelashes."But I'm sure we can still make our relationship work, Harry! Lemme just finish off the 'bad end' of the Weasley line…" she grabbed up her wand and began aiming at Ginny and Ron, but was cut off by the Sorting Hat.
"Yes, yes, blow us all to bits- PINKIPRANCE you go, now!"
She, too, stalked off to the Pinkiprance table, gripping her wand unnecessarily hard.
Finally, everyone had been sorted. Dumbledore, still looking deeply disturbed to find that he had six daughters and a love-child, stood up and decided to give a very brief speech.
"I remind you not to go into the Forbidden Forest, Quidditch Trails will be held on Saturday, …Welcome to the new students and no thestrals in the Great Hall! Let the feast begin!"
Food appeared on all the tables, but Dumbledore, Snape, McGonagall, and everyone else who had just realized they had some sort of obscure relative, didn't touch anything. There was no food on the Pinkiprance table, since House-Elves had yet to be assigned, so they were given some Peppermint Humbugs from the other House Tables and some of the kinder Gryffindors offered their half-finished plates. Everyone in the Pinkiprance table refused these, though, since they were all anorexic (but were recovering) and found it hard to eat three meals every day. But Sue Riddle took everything that was offered gladly and ate her way through the phoenix tail that was sticking out of Ariella's wand. The food disappeared from the tables after they had all eaten, and slowly prefects stood and led the sleepy (and still bewildered) students up to bed. Professor McGonagall kindly took the Pinkiprance to where they were going to be sleeping until proper places could be made.
Even though the Headmaster had suggested the Astronomy Tower, Professor McGonagall had somehow seemed to go extremely hard of hearing when he said it and instead let them spend the night in the Owlery.