Disclaimer: He thinks I don't notice his nice ass behind those robes…But I do...oh yeah baby I do. Oh right right, I don't own any part of Inuyasha, and yes, not even Miroku's alluring ass.

Rating & Warnings: PG13, content may offend some minors, but suck it up princess, it's called Humor.

Author's Precious Note: I'm sure you have seen this type of diary before :) All meant for fun and laughter. My gaydar is beeping at Miroku…

Summary: "Dear Diary: I, Miroku, have a confession to make. I don't like girls." The diary of Miroku, who is as straight as a circle.


Miroku's Little Black Book

Day 1, Entry 1:

I Miroku, have a confession to make. I don't like girls.

Day 1, Entry 2:

But that doesn't mean I can't touch them.

Or spank them.

-sizzle-

Day 1, Entry 3:

I must say -smacks lips- Inuyasha is quite cute :)

I want to rub those ears! ToT

Day 1, Entry 4:

Damnit Kagome is rubbing them.

Fuck off bitch he's -snaps- my man!

Day 1, Entry 5:

I don't like her. Just because she's a freaking miko.

She gets to ride on him.

And straddle him.

Day 1, Entry 6:

I wonder what it's like to ride on Inuyasha.

And straddle him…

Day 1, Entry 7:

And be able to "sit" him.

Yeah baby, I like you doooownnn like this. :D

Day 1, Entry 8:

I don't like her voice. Kagome's voice I meant.

It's too shrill.
And annoying.
And valley-girl like.
And slutty.
And whorey.
And…

She whines too much.

Day 1, Entry 9:

Ugh. Another Inuyasha-why-did-you-leave-me-to-see-Kikyou-conversation.

She has some serious jealousy issues.

I bet she's a virgin.

Day 1, Entry 10:

Someone just fuck her already and put her out of her misery. o.O;;

Day 1, Entry 11:

Inuyasha deserves someone better.

Like me.

I'm prettier than her.

My ass is 1000x better then hers.

She has no ass.

No boobs either. They're dented in.

Day 1, Entry 12:

I would never sit him like she does.

Day 1, Entry 13:

I would wait until I'm right under him first.

Theeeeen I'll say the magic words. ;D

Day 1, Entry 14:

OMG. Look everybody! It's Sesshomaru!

Gawsh, he looks like a goddess. His hair is so…yummy O.O

Day 1, Entry 15:

So dark, handsome and mysterious. He's my kinda man. He's my man :)

Day 1, Entry 16:

I love the way he moves.

"Cuz I like the way you moooove."

He shakes his butt a little when he walks. Tres cute.

Day 1, Entry 17:

He's silent nature is arousing. He's like an ice queen.

Day 1, Entry 18:

Fluffy, fluffy, you're so fine…would you be my valentine?

Day 1, Entry 19:

He caught me staring. Crap.

I'm gonna get whipped by him.

Ooo…on the other hand, maybe I should keep staring. !o.o!

Day 1, Entry 20:

He smiled at me. HE SMILED AT ME!1!1!1!1!1!1!1

-swoons-

Day 1, Entry 21:

Annnnnnnnnnnd…he's gone. Dang. I thought we had something back there.

Day 1, Entry 22:

I'm sad.

I need something to console me.

Day 1, Entry 23:

Went and touched Sango's butt.

What a sucky consolation prize.

Day 1, Entry 24:

Got slapped.
Ah well.
She probably liked it.

I bet Fluffy would've liked it ;D


A/N: Inspired by several fanfics out there similar to the diary-format. And of course, the secret LOTR diaries. Reviews are orgasmic.