Disclaimer: I so did not write any of the idiotic things in here. Miroku who?
Rating & Warnings: PG13, except they have this ghey rating known as T. I mean REALLY, T? It's so confusing.
Author's Precious Note: WOW. After many many weeks of being dead, I decided to whip up a chapter to show it hasn't been forgotten. Totally shameless plug to my current fanfiction: Someone Out There. Read it :D It's better than this shit, I promise haha.
Summary: "Dear Diary: I, Miroku, have a confession to make. I don't like girls." The diary of Miroku, who is as straight as a circle.
Miroku's Little Black Book
Day 5, Entry 111:
Oh to the Em to the Gee.
Day 5, Entry 112:
Have you heard of the show Kevin Hill? The one where the hot-shot attorney at a prestigious entertainment law firm inherits his dead cousin's baby and has to start raising it? IT'S HAPPENING TO ME. ME! MEEEEEEE!1!1!1!1!111!1!
Day 5, Entry 113:
Except it's a boy baby, not a girl baby, and it's not my cousin's baby but my own baby.
Day 5, Entry 114:
I THOUGHT I RAN AWAY FAR ENOUGH. HOW DID THE DAMN BITCH FIND ME?
I know I'm bad. But I ran my ass off the day I heard the pregnancy stick turned blue. Gah.
Day 5, Entry 115:
Aww, but he is -so- adorable! I must rewsis the uurge to twalk bwaby twalk to it
…coochee chi eeee you cutie you!
He's a keeper:D
Day 5, Entry 116:
Why did I decide to keep him two minutes ago? All he does is cry. Then sleep. Then cry.
Awwww he gave me his hand! Eeee. Bwaby fwingers are juss toooo koote.
Day 5, Entry 117:
How does one breast feed? Let me clarify that: how does a male breast feed?
I mean, I know some boys with more bumps on their chest than girls' in their bra.
More bumps: more milk!
Day 5, Entry 118:
Like how they say that if boys have big feet that must mean they have big…
Day 5, Entry 119:
What were you thinking? No! It doesn't work that way! Enis-pay is not half the shoe size!
Sheesh don't believe everything your friends tell you
Day 5, Entry 120:
Oh crap, baby pooped. Where do I find diapers?
Day 5, Entry 121:
Does this era HAVE diapers?
Which has got me thinking…
Does this era have you know…feminine necessities?
P-A-D in a B-A-G?
Day 5, Entry 122:
Oh gosh it reeks.
Day 5, Entry 123:
I threw the poo in the river down stream.
Maybe I'll get lucky and Kagome is having her hot springs bath (or whatever she insist on calling it)
She can think the "floating soap" is some "organic herb" that this "feudal era" uses to "cleanse themselves."
…am I crazy? I sound like a fruit.
Oh wait I am HAHA.
Ok I must stop.
I'm still doing it.
And you're still reading it.
AHAHAH so stoned.
Day 5, Entry 124:
I guess I'll have to bring the boy back to the mansion.
Yes I have a mansion, and all my servants are women.
They wear low neckline booty skirts as their mandatory uniforms.
Day 5, Entry 125:
EXCEPT for Bertha the cook.
She's a special case.
She's 50 with saggy boobs. Holy cheese, imagine if SHE wore a low neckline…
Day 4, Entry 126:
IT MIGHT AS WELL BE A BELT THEN!
Day 5, Entry 127:
EGADS. Such images don't do well for the mind.
Day 5, Entry 128:
I'm rich. I'm a rich beautiful girl.
I feel pretty like a daisy.
I swindle common folks for the rush of it.
I'm sure that's why rich folks gamble at casinos right?
Day 5, Entry 129:
I'm so tired from raising this baby.
And it only has been 5 minutes since I met him.
Day 5, Entry 130:
But I'm so attached to him. ToT
Day 5, Entry 131:
I want to confront that biatch and ask her why she just drop the baby in a basket at my door.
She could've at LEAST wrote a note or something!
Day 5, Entry 132:
This is some serious Jerry Springer shit. Or Maury.
WHO'S THE MOTHER OF MY CHILD?
Haha that's a first X3
Day 5, Entry 133:
The baby is crying. Ah. I gotta sing it a song…!
Day 5, Entry 134:
Dang I cant sing it as good as Phoebe!
Day 5, Entry 135:
Oh what's that Eminem song? Mockingbird!
Hush little baby don't you cry la la I'll buy you a bird something something if it can't sing something ring wont shine la la something something I'll break the birdie's neck some something shove carats down jewelers throat something something don't fuck with dad. Ha.
Day 5, Entry 136:
Awww the baby WUVS ME!
It needs some new clothes!
And a teddy bear! Yeah!
I would buy it a Neopet plushie but those things are fucking overpriced.
Day 5, Entry 137:
How about some transsexual clothes? I heard it's a new fad.
Like how pink is the new black this year.
Tres cool! ToT
Day 5, Entry 138:
Let's go SHOPPPING!
Why are dicks smaller than nipples in Canada?
I mean…Why are dimes smaller than nickels in Canada?
Slip of tongue. Oopsie poopsie ;D
Day 5, Entry 139:
Oh to the Em to the Gee. Girls (and boys), what should I name my baby:O
I think I've lost my touch, but that's okay. I feel silly enough to go back to my other fic. Review me please? OR BETTER YET, REVIEW MY OTHER FIC TOO? YEAH? YEAH OKAY! A cookie for my reviewers :)