This chapter will be done in Botan's POV mostly! Oh and just so you know this all takes place after the end of the series. Enjoy!

A month later…

Right now I'm going to the human world to deliver Yusuke his new mission, I don't want to.

Yes, I'm still riled up about that night when we kissed. That had been one of the few kisses in my immortal life, it had been blissful, but that wasn't the reason I was worried…


That was you and me
Started out so innocently
Shattered on the ground
I hear the sound

An innocent kiss was all. Sure I loved him. I knew he didn't love me but still I wanted, no I needed to know what it felt like.

"So show me." I told him in a low voice after he had told me it was a feeling to hard to show.

To my surprise he began to inch close to me, so I did the same.

I remember those were a few of the longest seconds in life, which ended blissfully when our lips made contact.

It began as a small chaste kiss, but I wasn't satisfied so I kissed back a bit harder hoping he'd answer back in the same way.

To my surprise and great pleasure he answered back even more fiercely then I had, it was like he had built up all of this love and passion for me, like he had wanted it but couldn't have had it for a long time.

It was one of the happiest times of my life; to feel loved back is one of the greatest feelings you can have.

Although it was passionate, it wasn't rough or harsh, more of a demanding yet romantic one. Those that take your breath away...

I sighed happily during the kiss not realizing that I had given him permission to do what he most wanted…

Never in my lives had I received a kiss like that, I knew it was a 'tongue kiss' but contrary to what I thought it was blissful, it wasn't disgusting or sloppy.

I felt my hair go down from my ponytail and fingers running through it. I blushed and decided to be more daring; I stuck my hand under his t-shirt and rubbed his back. I got a passionate moan that made me go tomato red in return.

I don't know how much time we spent there kissing and touching each other, but I didn't hear the door open.

" Hey Yusuke I got you some groceries, I know your mom isn't around so I decided tha…" she never finished that sentence.

Yusuke and I both looked up to see none other than Keiko Yukimora, Yusuke's true love and my best friend looking at us.

The look in her eyes was so hurt, it made my heart brake to see her like this and know that I caused it.

"Keiko I…" Yusuke began.

She didn't say anything she just stood there looking blank.

I got up and walked up to her " Keiko-chan, please say something."

She didn't.

I toughed her arm softly " It's my fault don't please blame anybody else." I said referring to Yusuke.

She just stood there, tears running down her cheeks.

I couldn't bear to see her like this again. It was too much.

So it had begun. The errors and mistakes. The hurt and pain and all because of one emotion called love. No one can control the heart, for it is wise but at the same time, it can cloud judgment for the worse…

Ringing in my ears
I still feel the sting of my tears
someone wake me
I can't seem to break free

I felt tears steak down my cheeks. I hate crying, it makes you feel weak, it stings your heart like mad and it shows your vulnerability to others.

Finally she spoke, " why?" she asked in an emotionless tone.

I didn't know what to answer, " I don't know it just did…"

She turned to Yusuke, " so?"

He looked to shock to answer, " Well I… I don't…."

" If you want to be with Botan I'm fine with it." She said in that still emotionless tone " its not like we're in an exclusive relationship or anything."

He shook his head and walked up to her " I don't, that was a mistake. A bad one you know I love you and I always have. I think I just wanted to feel loved back."

My heart shattered at that exact moment, so I was just a plaything? I felt like dying that moment but I wouldn't show it. " Yes Keiko it was a mistake, I also love someone else and I know that person won't love me back so I used Yusuke to feel better." I said in a hurt tone. I looked at her with sincere eyes. After so many years of living you learn to lie well…

"I didn't know…" she said softly.

I dried my tears, " Well, I'm really sorry Keiko, it wasn't intentional I hope we can be friends. And Yusuke I'm sorry for using you like that." I saw his hurt eyes staring at me. I turned away from him and turned to Keiko and opened my arms in a hug. " Friends Keiko-chan?"

She nodded and hugged me back, we both broke down crying. Both hurt by the same boy.

It didn't matter how much they loved each other, a best friend and a first love was the first obstacle in the way of this forsaken love. Although a lie can save a friendship and a love for a time the truth would come out one day and it would be a lot worse…

End flashback:

Go on
Get out of my head
I'm on the wrong side of a parallel universe
Am I alive or just dead
I've been stumbling in the dark
Living in a crash world

And until this day that same memory continues to hunt my mind. I try to erase him, his beauty his touch, his kiss, but they are all unforgettable.

In all of the dreams I had of being with Yusuke none ended like this, in this despair.

My oar began to wobble since my tears blurred my vision. I just wanted it all to end.

I was so lost in my sadness I didn't realize I was slipping off.

When I did realize it was too late and I did all I could, I screamed.

I closed my eyes waiting for the impact. Sure I was immortal but that didn't mean falling of a whizzing oar didn't hurt. It did and a lot but still it wouldn't compare with the pain my heart was feeling.

I was about two or three feet away for the ground when he caught me.

The second of many obstacles had been put into the plot, he was one of the most dangerous. His demeanor could charm anything, his looks could melt any girl. But most of all his compassion and sincerity could mend any broken heart.

"Are you alright?" he asked in a worried tone.

"Yes thanks to you, thank you so much Kurama-kun."

He gave me a charming smile, which was then replaced by a look of concern. "So how did you fall off?"

I blushed a deep red color, " I was thinking about some problems…" I said softly.

He looked pensive, " What kind?"

" Nothing too serious, don't worry about it!" I said giving one of my fake happy smiles.

"So it's a heart problem right?" he said, he had a knowing smile on his face though it looked rather sad.

"How did you know?" I asked surprised.

"Experience." He said shortly, I swear I saw him go pink. "So what's happening, you don't have to give me names just explain the situation and I'll try to help."

This brought an authentic smile on my face, he was such a good friend." Well I love someone but he already has someone who is a dear friend to me. When his loved one asked me if I liked him I said I didn't and that I liked someone else and I was just using her boy friend to feel better. I was able to save their relationship but it feels awful to lie and not to mention I still love him and it feels bad everyday." I concluded " so what's your diagnostic doctor Kurama?" I asked with a giggle.

He smiled " Well I think there are only two methods. One is to tell the truth because maybe he loves you back and is afraid to hurt his girlfriend, she will be hurt but she'll get over it. The second one is two put this person behind you, it'll be hard but you'll find someone else to love and who'll love you back."

" I wish he was so understanding as you sometimes. How do you do it Kurama-kun?" I asked in awe.

He chuckled slightly " Frankly I don't know maybe I have a knack for understanding people."

"I wish he did too" I said with a sigh I looked up at the sky and realized it was almost dark! I had left Reikai at 4:00pm Koenma would kill me. " Oh god I'm so late!"

"What?" he asked surprised.

"I left Reikai at 4 and now it almost dark, I had to deliver an urgent mission to Yusuke!"

His brows furrowed " I can take you if you want."

"No thank you Kurama-kun, but my oar is faster."

He nodded " Well I hope I've helped you with your problem"

I smiled and nodded, " Yes thanks." I ran over and hugged him fiercely, something I had always done with him since he came back from Makai.

"Bye." I materialized my oar and flew to Yusuke's house.

don't say one more word
At this point the truth seems absurd
Cause who we were
if gone forever

I flew to his window and gently tapped it.

I floated there for about a minute or two when he opened it looking solemn. " What do you want?" he asked rather harshly.

My eyebrows furrowed. " Koenma sent me to deliver your new mission so come downstairs so I can give you details." I said coolly.

He frowned but nodded and closed his window while I flew down.

When he came down I had already gotten out all of the papers and pictures of the artifacts he needed to recollect. " Well this is the…"

"You've been avoiding me" he interrupted softly.

"… harp of water it can increase the powers of any water…"

"why?" he interrupted again.

"..Youkai and it is of upmost importance that you get it back, luckily the demons who have it are rather weak but…"

"answer me." He demanded.

"… the also have the Mizu Seigyoku which combined with the harp and a Hiruseki stone could control the waters of the three worlds resulting in mass chaos…" I continued speaking ignoring him, until he grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me.

"Answer me." He said coldly.

"What is there to answer about?" I asked innocently while trying to get out pf his vice grip hold. This only resulted in him grabbing me harder.

"Don't play innocent, tell me why you've avoided me when I go to Reikai? Why haven't you answered your communication mirror?" he demanded.

" Because I didn't want to." I said harshly " Now let me go."

"Botan you know Keiko is my best friend and I couldn't hurt her even if the world depended on it, but its different when I'm with you I feel like.."

"Shut up," I said harshly " you know just like I do that every single word you said was true so leave me alone."

"No its not true, I do love you." He said softly.

I stopped moving for a moment, I had two options I could hurt Keiko and get what I wanted or I could forget about him and find someone who truly loved me. " I don't believe you." I said finally. Yes, I would try to forget him.

"But it's true." He complained.

" Maybe, maybe not and beside who told you I was lying about what I said that day." I said

He looked shocked for a moment " You are." He stated firmly.

I bit my lip, it was hard to lie to him. I closed my eyes " no I'm not."

He said nothing until I felt two familiar lips touch mine once again.

He kissed me passionately but I forced my self to not do anything, but I snapped after a few seconds and responded back just as hungrily.

He broke away, " see you're lying."

" Or else I'm pretending its Kura… I mean him I'm kissing." I stopped at my mistake, I almost said Kurama! What's happening to me?

Yusuke had a dark frown on his face. " What were you about to say?" he asked.

" None of your business." I responded grumpily.

Its said the truth can always fix things no matter what or when. This is a lie sometimes it will be to late for someone to accept the truth. That was Yusuke's main fault if at that moment when he chose Keiko instead of Botan he would have spared everyone a great pain. None of them would be the same after this…

Underneath the fears
everything's so twisted and weird
someone save me
I can't seem to break free

We were quiet for a few moments. Then I spoke " its better if we forget that kiss ever happened, as you said it yourself it was a mistake." I stated darkly.

"I told you it isn't true, listen to me." He pleaded.

"Why should I? If you can lie so shamelessly to your best friend like that who knows what kind of lies you'll tell me?"

"Do you think I liked lying to Keiko? It hurt badly! But I did it so no one would have to end their friendships there and I thought you were fine with it because you played along." He said in delicate voice while hugging me from behind.

"Yusuke let go of me."

"On one condition." He said his voice returning to his playful tone.

"What?" I said leaning into his comfortable embrace.

" Tell me, do you love me too?" he asked.

"Let go of me and I'll tell you."

"No then you'll run away" he told me with a playful pout.

I bit my lip, he was toying with me again.

I stood there not knowing what to do until I heard Kuwabara's voice " Hey Urameshi where are you.:" he yelled in that load voice of his.

I jumped out of Yusuke's arms while he was distracted, " Over here Kuwabara-kun!"

Yusuke swore loudly.

Kuwabara ran up to us and u took the chance and ran up to him and hugged him fiercely. " Oh Kuwabara-kun I'm so happy to see you! It's been like three months since we last saw each other." I practically squeezed the life out of him, I loved him at this moment he saved me from having to fess up to Yusuke.

"um sure, college takes up a lot of your time." He said looking puzzled. " So what are you doing here Botan-chan?"

"I came here to deliver your new mission and take you to Reikai." I said brightly.

Kuwabara gave a smile at the thought of defeating more punkish demons, " What are you waiting for! Lets go Urameshi!"

Yusuke was looking murderously at poor Kuwabara, " Fine moron."

Kuwabara leaned down and whispered in my ear, " What the hell is his problem the lat time he greeted me like that I had died his hair pink."

I burst out laughing, " You died his hair pink?" I asked in between laughs. It was a good way to get back at Yusuke.

Kuwabara nodded "I even have the pictures."

"Oh awesome sign me up for a copy!"

Yusuke gave a growl. " Lets fucking go already." He said standing in between Kuwabara and I.

I nodded and opened the portal.

When we finally got to Koenma's office I stopped. " Well here you are go talk to Koenma. See ya later." I said hugging each one of them.

"Bye Botan it was great seeing you again." Said Kuwabara while we hugged.

" Hai, good luck with Yukina-chan."

He blushed at that, " Thanks."

I hugged Yusuke wordlessly, but hesoftly whispered " This isn't over yet just wait until I come back."

"Is that a threat?" I asked

He gave a smirk "maybe"

I smiled, I couldn't help it he looked too cute while he smirked like that at me.

They both entered and I retired to my room.

Go on
Get out of my head
I'm on the wrong side of a parallel universe
Am I alive or just dead
I've been stumbling in the dark
Living in a crash world

Slow motion
should've seen it coming
But I couldn't do nothing
Someone save me
I can't seem to break free

Sure I was mad as hell at Yusuke. He had been a jerk to Keiko and I. But still I couldn't help but love him. I was confused what was going on. I slowly fell asleep.

Love is confusing, it can bring people together but it can also bring nations apart. It is such strong feeling that people are usually reckless when in love. Out of all the love stories I've ever seen I think this is the most reckless I've seen, it's also the most painful, but it's also the one with most love. Is it possible to love someone so much it can end your lives? After all these years we continue to remember what happened and continuing to ask ourselves, Was it worth it?

Go on
Get out of my head
I'm on the wrong side of a parallel universe
Am I alive or just dead
I've been stumbling in the dark
Living in a crash world

(End of Chapter/ Author's notes.)

Well here is another confusing chapter of Forsaken, where the plot continues to thicken with every word.

Well here is a bit more of Y/B action for the fans w00t!

I guess you can consider a dark fic and it probably won't have a happy ending for most people but it has to with the person speaking, who by the way no one has guessed who it is YAY! I'm too good!

Hahahaha, the story will have a jumble of pairings, some one sided but pairings are pairings!

Fear not Y/B fans it will most definitely not be a Yusuke/Keiko there are too many and I don't think she deserves him! (humphs angrily) Nonetheless it is a cute pairing but still Botan is better muahahahaha!

Ha. I bet everyone wants to kill my poor Kuwabara-chan for interrupting. But you can't cuz he's safely hiding in my closet so Hahahaha.

Oh yeah I don't own Crash world which is one of Hilary Duff's okay songs, frankly I'm not to fond of her but the song is okay!

The 'Was it worth it line' is very important! Can anyone guees why?

Mizu Seigyoku means Water sapphire or something like that.

Well if your interested in any Yusuke/Botan stories read Nox by Nirvana1 it is freaking awesome!

Well Please R and R! What else can I say?