Note: I know some people are going to get mad at me because of this story. Let me state that I like Disney. I'm not a hater trying to bash the company. I'm using my imagination by writing what goes behind closed doors( I know there not real but anyway) so please don't accuse me of being a Disney hater.
Chapter One- Mickey and Friends
Mickey Mouse was sitting in his office responding to fan mail. Now, I don't know how much mail that he got but let's just say he got a crapload of mail. To Mickey dismay, The majority of the letters weren't letters written from hot babes from foreign and exotic countries saying to dump Minnie and marry them or drunk southern Catholics writing to him telling him he was unfit for the Catholic world and go to hell (That was for his amusement) but six year-olds who didn't know how to spell telling him he was there favorite cartoon character next to Spongebob Squarepants
Mickey was having trouble reading one particular letter. It was supposedly written by a five year old named Jeffery who was from Kansas. Mickey knew that Jeffery was a youngster but Jesus Christ! His handwriting was horrible! Worst than Walt Disney's!
Mickey (reading out loud): I lie you ? I think he's missing a K. (groans) Oh for god's sake! Did anyone teach this kid how to write?
While Mickey was whining about the misspelled letter, Daisy was walking down the hall, shaking her ass for everyone to see. Sure she was going out with Donald but she could still flirt with guys. What's wrong with that? It's not like he was going find out and besides it's not like she actually considered going out with the men she flirted with. Seriously, who would want to go out with ugly middle-age white guy who thought Donald Trump was god? Not Daisy. They had a lot of money but so did her man, The one and only Donald Duck. Donald was way more sexier than all of those ugly bastards. Even if he was dressed like a four year old from the 1930's.
When she was walking down the hall, She glimpsed at Mickey. She wondered if he was good at sex or not. Did he even had sex with Minnie. Minnie didn't even talk about sex these days. Maybe the last time they had sex was in the 50's and anyone knows that even if you mention the word "sex" back then everyone would look at you like you were some hooker. Kinda like today except Americans were having sex more than rabbits.
Mickey saw Daisy at the door. "God" he thought "Daisy is just desperate nowadays, Isn't she?". A while ago a rumor floated around Disney that Daisy had a one night stand with Daffy Duck in the mid 80's.There was also another part of the rumor that Daffy had an STD and gave it to Daisy. He also heard that Daisy was pregnant with Daffy child and when Michael Orvitz found out, he made her have an abortion. Mickey knew none of this was true but Donald went nuts when he heard this. Although, they were screen rivals, Bugs Bunny and Mickey Mouse were actually good friends but not Donald and Daffy. Every time there was a social party for toons, One of them would get drunk (Mostly Donald) and they would say mean things to each other that didn't even made sense. Then they would get in to a fight and then the host would ask them to leave. The next day it would be all over the toon's Tabloids and both of them would be the laughing stock of Toontown.
Mickey: Uh, hi Daisy.
Daisy: Well hello Mickey. Say, what are you doing here? It's a beautiful day outside. Don't cha think.
Mickey hoped that Daisy wasn't trying to coax him into having sex because she was doing a terrible job at doing so.
Mickey: Yes it is but I have to answer fan mail.
Daisy (looking at her nails): Why?
Mickey: Because I'm basically the only living and positive icon of America and if I fail my image, The U.S is screwed.
Daisy: Wow someone has a lot of confidence.
Mickey: Oh shut up Daisy! I actually think there are more positive icons out there besides me. Take Bugs Bunny for example.
Daisy: I not sure about Bugs. I mean did you hear that rumor about him sleeping with prostitutes.
Mickey: Well maybe I'm the only one.
Daisy: I wish Donald had much confidence as you do.
Mickey was disturbed when Daisy said this. Particularly because Daisy had a reputation for being a whore.
Mickey: Uh, Thank you
Daisy: Your Welcome.
None of them spoke for about two minutes. Then Daisy broke the silence with a spontaneous question.
Daisy: Me and Donald were supposed to go to dinner at Musso and Frank's Grill tonight but it's turns out one of his nephew's school play is also tonight, do you mind?
Mickey: Mind what?
Daisy: You know, Substituting for Donald
Mickey almost had a heart attack when Daisy said that.
Mickey: Gee Daisy, I don't know. Wouldn't that be kinda like a date?
Daisy: No. Were just friends. It's not like were going to holding hands and stuff.
Mickey: Well okay but don't dress up to much. I don't want the press to think were going out and stuff.
Daisy: Mickey, It's Musso and Frank's. Not your average family restaurant.
Mickey: I know that but just don't wear your best dress. That's all I'm saying.
Daisy: Alight then. See ya at 8'o clock!
As Daisy walked out of the office, Mickey sighed. "It's probably nothing"
he said trying to calm him self down. "Daisy's a friend. She just wants to have dinner. There's no sexual or romantic relationship between us. Nor is she a whore and this is one of her stupid plans to have sex with me". But what Mickey was saying wasn't exactly true. Let's just say, Mickey Mouse had no idea what would be in store for him tonight.
Minnie Mouse looked at herself in the full length mirror in her bathroom. She only had her underwear on (Including her bra.). She looked down at her self disgustingly. "Pig!" she screamed. Minnie didn't tell anyone this but since the 1960's Minnie was feeling a bit insecure about her weight. As you know, Minnie Mouse has no boobs and has a stick figure. She was proud of the way she looked but she didn't have a flat stomach. She first bitched to Daisy about this and Daisy suggested that maybe Minnie should start working out at the gym. She tried this for about five months but she wasn't losing weight (During that time, Minnie was going though this chocolate phase. She would eat nothing but chocolate which should explain her not so flat stomach. Yet she didn't realize this). Minnie was so desperate to loose weight. Maybe Mickey didn't find her attractive anymore because she was so fat.
Earlier that week, Minnie went to her doctor to ask him about her weight.
He told her that she didn't need to loose any weight (Yeah right) but if she wanted to she a couple of pounds, maybe she should stop eating less. Minnie loved that idea. She gave herself three days to eat whatever the hell she wanted. It was probably the most depressing three days ever but it was also fun. Today however, she would only eat a few fruits a day for the rest of her life. And maybe she would become a heroine to all the anorexic girls of America. Maybe even all those beautiful and foreign supermodels would tell the paparazzi that Minnie was the greatest cartoon character ever made. That might be a bad thing because no one understood what those supermodels were saying but still! She wouldn't be living in her boyfriend's shadow no more! She would not be know as a famous cartoon character girlfriend but an ICON!
Goofy was at home watching "Queer Eye For The Straight Guy". The show had lost some popularity since it first aired. In fact, Goofy never really liked that show in the first place but damn it, Nothing else was on! "I'm bored" Goofy yawned. He could've watched "Strange Love" on Vh1 but he saw all the episodes about ten times. So far in 2005,Goofy had nothing to do. Goofy thought the men on queer eye acted so gay. (I don't think Goofy even knew what queer meant.) One of the guys reminded Goofy of the men that his ex-wife used to hang out with( In case your wondering, The ex-wife is also Max's mom. She is anonymous and she will be referred to as the ex-wife
though out this fanfic). Then all of the sudden, He started to think about his ex-wife. Especially when she left him for a gay French guy. She was a total bitch but Goofy loved her. He wanted her back more than ever. He knew if here sat there, nothing was going to happen but he didn't know what to do.
After sitting there, Goofy finally got an idea. He went to his computer. Luckily for him, He still had his ex-wife e-mail address. Trying to act like she felt sorry for him (which she didn't), the ex-wife gave Goofy her e-mail address. Unfortunately, she never answered Goofy e-mails begging her to come back but that didn't stop Goofy. Instead of the typical weekly e-mail of Goofy whining like an WASPy upper eastsider girl being forced to shop at Sears, he invited her to come back to the U.S.A to visit her ex-husband and her son. But the ex-wife should being expecting a little more from her visit (If she ever comes) because Goofy decided to become homosexual.
Donald Duck has probably always been a buyer of Tylenol for a long time but no Tylenol could save him from he was having such a headache thanks to Huey Duey and Luey who were yelling like drunk football fans. There were Donald car driving home from Huey god awful school play. It was an Ester play which seen to be written by the guy who wrote "Gigli" not to mention Huey was a horrible actor. He only got the lead role because of his "Unca Donald" was Donald Duck and he appears in film shorts with his brothers. But lately, Huey acting skills had taken a turn for the worse. Huey kept bragging about he could be the next big thing. Then he yelled at his unca Donald to get him some ice cream for his "Breathtaking performance". Nevertheless, Donald stopped at the nearest ice cream stand.
While there, The triplets from hell took forever choosing which ice cream and ice cream toppings to get. Donald's headache got worse. It was so bad that Donald even asked an employee if he had any aspirin. Surprisingly, the employee said he usually did because his job made him deal with brats all day but he forgot to bring some. Donald knew it was a mistake to get the brats some ice cream because they were even more hyper than before. Donald thought he was going to die. Why? Why did his sister had to be an alcoholic and a cokehead? If she wasn't, the brats could of lived with their mother who happened to be a total bitch. And to think he could've been with Daisy having a romantic dinner with Daisy but no. He had to watch that retarded play. It was like watching Grace Kelly improve her acting skills.
As they got home, The triplets ran around the house for a while. When it was time for bed, the triplets jumped on their beds. Finally they were tried and went to sleep. Donald sat there, looking at them while they slept. He had it with them. He could kill if he wanted to. But that would ruin his career. Suddenly he got an idea.
A half an hour later, Donald was gone. So was the car. And there was a note on the kitchen table.
Mickey Mouse arrived at Musso and Frank's around eight-ish. There he found Daisy sitting at a two seated table. Nothing really went on until a waiter came to ask them what they wanted drink. Daisy offered Mickey to buy him some wine. Mickey was actually in the mood for a soda but he knew he was dining at a fancy restaurant, so he accepted Daisy offer. Everything seem to go okay until Daisy offered Mickey some more wine. Mickey didn't want anymore wine but getting drunk was probably going make him be in another world where he didn't have to hear Daisy boring talk about fashion.
Mickey had seven glasses and was so drunk. Daisy offered to take him home. Apparently car broke down right in front of her house. So she said she would take Mickey home in the morning. Daisy seemed to be a little bit drunk herself. Mickey was supposed to sleep on the couch but ended up sleeping in Daisy's bed. With Daisy!
What will Mickey reaction be in the morning? What was Daisy doing anyway? Will Minnie become too thin? Will everyone accept Goofy now that he's gay? And last but certainly not least, Where the hell did Donald go? All of these loose ends will come up in the next chapter!
Note: If you have any questions, please tell me. Also your allowed to leave negative comments but please say what you didn't like about my story or where do I need to improve on. Thank you so much for taking time out of my life to read my dumb story.-GTHK