Well, people, here's the last part of this fic Hmmm.. will it end happily or sadly? Hmm...
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed
It is really an extraordinary thing to love. The bliss it gives you is unnerving- the blushes, the silent peeks, the unspoken words, the smiles and endearing words. And when all had been said, you'll come down the isle and promise never to leave each other's side.
But is it possible to come down the isle without experiencing those?
Yes, it is.
Which is why I didn't feel weird with what was happening now: I was walking down the isle, the wedding march playing in my ears, the white silky material that hugged my body trailed down behind me. Cameras clicked and flashed and all I had to do was let my happiest smile graze my lips.
I was going to marry someone I don't even love.
Love was just a feeling for the weak- this is what he always told me. He told me that in order to help my country, I needed to do sacrifices.
Before, I was confident with sacrifices. I was even capable of throwing my life for others. I wasn't afraid of death.
But now, the stakes of this sacrifice was just too great. I couldn't just throw away my feelings for the person I love, it was just... too much to ask for.
I know Athrun doesn't love me anymore. I should be grateful, isn't? It makes this sacrifice even easier. I would only be the one to suffer. At least, my sufferings will not be in vain for I know that my country will benefit for it.
"Do you, Cagalli Yula Attha, accept Yuna Roma Seirin as your husband, in sickness and in health, for better and for worse?"
Deep in my heart, I hoped for Athrun... that somehow, he'd be here to break this wedding.. that somehow he'll come and kick the ass of Yuna, carry me bridal-style and steal me away from here and we'll leave happily ever after.
But then, it only happens in fairy tales.
My feelings for Athrun didn't matter anymore. This is my battle and I have chosen my answer.
In one way or another, I still hope to believe that love isn't just for the weak.
'Cause we'll find the way
It was one of those days when she loved the rain. The droplets of water that pours down her delicate skin felt nice, for one. The gray clouds that hung above her head simply supplemented the way she felt:
Hurt, lost, but free.
Which is why she could be found standing at the park, her wedding gown soaking wet, her hair dishelmed, a blank expression on her face.
The sight of the empty park seemed to content her. It was a rare chance to have this park by yourself. Somehow, she thanked the rain. Nothing could bee seen on her golden orbs... they were lost and even her rational mind couldn't kick in and advise her to go hide.
Hide, you ask?
Well, for one, anyone who would find a lady dressed in her wedding gown in a park would definitely brand the scene as 'inconsiderably weird,' which would definitely caused too much attention- Cagalli hated attention.
But it wasn't really the reason for hiding. You see, Cagalli Yula Attha just ditched out her wedding.
No one except her friends would understand what she did. Everyone thought she had her mind set. No one thought she would back out.
'I do... not want to marry you.'
The words she uttered rang through her ears. She really didn't know why she backed out. It was as if someone programmed her to say those words.
She smiled weakly as she the scene a few minutes ago replayed on her mind. It was nice to run wearing your wedding gown, she learned. Maybe... she could do that again.
Right now, nothing mattered to Cagalli. She just felt... free. She made a choice for herself. Then again, she always made decisions for herself. Isn't the reason why she accepted Yuna's proposal? To help her country? To decide for the sake of her people?
Morally, what she did was wrong but then, some part of her wanted to reconsider the answer.
She raised her head and allowed the raindrops to trace her face. She wanted, even just now, to feel at peace and forget all her problems.
She never felt this light for a long time. Spending hours on your desk would do that to you.
Athrun, it was all Athrun's fault.
Her mind wandered of to a certain blue-haired coordinator. She watched him, from the corner of her eye, as she walked down the isle.
The bastard was smiling.
If she were normal, Cagalli would have punch the wall that may even result to a crack of some sort. But then, she was too weak and even raising an arm exhausted her.
Athrun was lucky, he was saved.
It was childish to blame someone for your misfortunes. Athrun never did something wrong. It was all her fault.
If only she stopped him.
If only she had the courage to follow him
If only she tried to find him.
If only she smacked his head on the wall, maybe his memories would flood back his damn head.
Maybe Cagalli was losing her touch on things. Was she that desperate to consider the last 'if?'
No, she wasn't that desperate. She REALLY was desperate.
It was just painful for her to bear. The mixed emotions that tightened in her chest when she saw him smiling.
She was used physical pain. She was back-flipped by this certain coordinator once and that was, no doubt, painful. But then, this kind of pain she felt was way beyond her knowledge.
She thought about her doctor; the middle-aged woman who treated her whenever she tripped or had a high fever, did she have a medicine for this pain?
But according to what she heard, the cure would only be found within the person who caused it.
It was too much to comprehend for Cagalli's inexperienced mind. And she hated it. She hated whenever she couldn't understand things.
Sighing, she plopped down the cold floor, without minding that it would ruin her gown. Anyway, her gown didn't matter anymore. She just ran away from her wedding and she didn't plan on returning anytime soon.
The hard rain turned into drizzle then back to being hard. She shivered involuntarily. It was definitely cold.
"You'll shiver to death if you stay there any longer."
She blinked. That voice...
He was standing there, an umbrella on his hand. Judging by his outfit, he just came out from the church. A gentle smile grazed his face.
Cagalli was rendered speechless. Of all the people who could find her, why did it have to be him?
But then, he was definitely better than Yuna and his cronies.
He took small steps forward until he was a foot away from her. He bent down and patted her head, just like what a brother would do to his little sister.
"You had us all worried, Cagalli," he remarked gently. Cagalli pushed him roughly.
"What are you doing here!" she demanded. It was obvious that some part of her was happy of his presence. But then, right now wasn't the time to admit it. She didn't need him- she vowed to herself that she didn't need him. And Cagalli doesn't like breaking her oath.
She knew she couldn't deny anything from him. Even if he lacked his memories, Athrun is still Athrun. His eyes could see right through her lies, her cascade, and her poker face.
"I'm here to bring you back-"
"I'M NOT GOING BACK!" Cagalli shouted, as she pulled herself to her feet. She couldn't believe it! Athrun was taking her back to that hell! Did she escape that place just to be brought back by the person who caused her to run away from it in the first place!
"-where you really belong," Athrun finished. Cagalli stopped in her tracks and looked at him quizzically.
"What was that?"
That remark really caught Cagalli's attention. Was Athrun playing some trick? What is he planning? What did he mean?
Athrun smiled and handed his umbrella to the lady. "You'll shiver to death if you stay here any longer."
"Hey! you didn't answer me!" Cagalli was still Cagalli and she had the quickest temper on Earth... or even at the PLANTs.
"You don't need to go back," Athrun explained as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Where do you really want to go, Cagalli?"
It was faint, but definitely it was a blush. It had been a while since Cagalli blushed and, as much as she hated it, her feelings for a certain blue-haired coordinator were creeping back to her.
She didn't know what to make out of his simple words... his gestures, they were gentle. There was no pressure in his words. He was letting her decide. It scared her. She knew that about half an hour ago, she made a decision that definitely placed Orb in an unstable situation. She didn't want to repeat the same mistake.
There was a little voice in her head that wanted her to be free. But her rational mind wouldn't allow it. She knew that what she'll do is running away. And right now, running wasn't an option.
"Anywhere, Cagalli, I'll accompany you," Athrun suddenly added.
Cagalli could feel water dropping down her cheeks but she wasn't the type to admit they were tears. It didn't matter anyway, for the bliss she felt was numbing. It was Athrun's reassuring smile. He was smiling at her just like how he smiled when he left her.
But it was different this time.
Nothing mattered to her as she flung her arms around his waist, her fragile form crashing into his arms as she seek for sanctuary. It was one of those instances when she allowed herself to cry. The salty tears mingled with dirt and rainwater all trailed down her cheek then down his shirt.
The umbrella he was holding fell off his grasp. She caught him off guard. To her surprise, she felt his palm rubbed her back as if soothing her.
There was silence as they stayed at that position for the longest time. It didn't matter anymore if Athrun lost his memories. It didn't matter if it is running away. It didn't matter if they were only friends.
Maybe... even just for a day... she could forget all these things.
It was the sound of crashing waves that reminded Cagalli of him. Whenever she thought about it, the sounds brought melancholy unto her. This is the reason why she hated coming to the beach. There were just so many memories that the innocent place reminded her.
But now, she found herself standing in a beach.
It was again one of her mind's indestructible ideas. Somehow, she wanted herself to be reminded of all the times she shared with Athrun.
It lingered in her mind but she pushed it away. Will it hurt to remember all those things especially with Athrun by her side? It was a question she tried to ask herself during their trip but the answer wouldn't just pop up.
The sight that was presented before took her breath away. The majestic sun hovered just above the horizon, throwing an orange-with-red-and-yellow hue all over the sky. The sea itself was calmly orange, silent although deep down, it bustled with life. Sea gulls gawked above them, the shipping vessels that were small due to their distance looked like miniature toys that she could reach.
It was a peaceful sight to be enjoyed.
Cagalli took a deep breath. The air here is definitely different from the city. It was lighter and fuller.
She stood there in silence as she savored the view. Athrun watched her with a gentle smile. She looked beautiful against the setting sun, her light gown flickered as she moved, and her hair glowed in the rays and her eyes were content- an emotion he seldom found on her golden orbs.
"Athrun.. what do you think about the sea?" she suddenly inquired as she turned her head to look at him.
Athrun sighed and thought for a while. The sea? "It is a huge body of water."
It was slow yet evident: Cagalli pouted. It was another first for Athrun. "You're no fun!" she mouthed, her voice coming out like an innocent remark from a child. Then, as suddenly as her mood changed, she flashed him an innocent grin and pulled him into the water.
Athrun blinked but it wasn't due to the coldness of the water but solely due to Cagalli's happiness. It was pure... it was true. It wasn't the happiness she showed to the media this morning. She was... just being her self.
She let go of his arms and ran further into the water that it reached her knees. "Come and get me, Athrun! And if you can, I'll treat you to dinner!" she challenged.
Athrun smiled. If this brought her joy, then let it be. "I accept your challenge!" he skillfully walked towards her, his hands trying to catch the princess.
It was a moment when both felt their childhood coming back to them. Cagalli, who had to mature early in the care of her maids and body guards; and Athrun, whose childhood all shattered having to fight with his best friend and the death of his mother. It was all understandable, that two people who lost a part of themselves tried to regain or even rebuild what they longed for.
The term 'too late' seemed inexistent in their dictionary.
Cagalli knew from the start that Athrun will always win in this kind of game. He was a coordinator. But then, it didn't mean she would easily give up. She ran and ran away from his grasps, her laughter echoing through the air. She tried and tried to pry away from his grasps but then, he caught up.
Athrun, with what little strength he had, (mind you, chasing a stubborn princess was definitely tiring, Kisaka would definitely explain it better) caught Cagalli, his arms circled her waist and picked her up. With an excellent flick he managed to position the lady in his arms, bridal-style.
It never fails to amaze Cagalli how great Athrun could be. She didn't even notice how the hell he managed to change her position. But it didn't matter for she had important things in mind. It was only then that she realized how close Athrun held her as he carried her back to the shore. She knew she was blushing, who wouldn't be?
He gently brought her down her feet when they reached the shore. Cagalli was silent as she tried to calm her beating heart. She was now certain, she couldn't just throw away her feelings for Athrun. She still loves him... even now... even he couldn't remember... even if he saw her only as a sister...
"Cagalli, are you alright?"
She blinked as his eyes locked unto her, concerned. "I'm just... tired..." It wasn't purely a lie. She was really tired and so she let herself plop down the sand, just like what she did early in the park.
Athrun sat beside her, his hands supported his weight. He turned and smiled to her. "You'll treat me dinner, wouldn't you?"
Cagalli turned her head too quickly that it was just mere inches and their faces would have bumped. "Ahhh! You beat me now, but next time I'll surely win!" she remarked though her voice sounded higher than usual. It was the only thing she could do to hide the blush that threatened to appear on her cheeks.
"But then, could you try to undergo a diet? I thought my arms were going to break," Athrun remarked as he flexed his arms, checking if they were still moving.
Cagalli blushed at his comment. "Whaaat! I'm not that heavy!" she insisted.
"Yeah, whatever you say."
Athrun laughed, Cagalli blinked. It seems even Athrun is losing his touch.
"Why are you laughing!" she demanded as she lightly punched his shoulder. Athrun continued to laugh.
"What!" she insisted and Athrun's laughter died down. Now, Cagalli was more confused than before.
"It's just that, I never felt this good before," Athrun explained as he locked his eyes again with hers.
Cagalli could see it but she just couldn't interpret it. There was something in his eyes that told her more but it was just a vision... what really was he implying?
Athrun directed his gaze back to the horizon. The sun had long gone to sleep and the moon was on its wake. Stars started to appear as the beach lamp post flickered to life. The sea rolled on mysteriously just like the aura Cagalli felt towards Athrun.
A light breeze picked up and the strands of their hair swayed with it.
Cagalli knew it was time to go back to reality. This day of happiness with Athrun is now on its end. As much as she wanted to prolong it, she couldn't. This day was just a stolen time and when she return to the city, everyone would be questioning her decision. That would meant a heck of paperwork, pressure and media attention.
She smiled bitterly. She knew it was fated to end. But still, she didn't regret anything. Getting up her feet, she spoke in a less cheery voice. "Well, Athrun, I think it's time to head back home now."
Athrun looked up. "Home...?"
"Yup. It is time for me to face my problems."
It was with ease when she said those words that it surprised Athrun how she could handle all these things. It must have been hard... really hard.
Athrun got to his feet as Cagalli headed back to the car. But then, he grasped her wrist to stop her. She looked at him, confusion evident in her eyes.
It was the same expression that made Cagalli wonder if Athrun was alright. Then, he smiled.
"Before you go back, I would like to return something." Cagalli watched him quizzically as he reached for his pocket. He held it high for Cagalli to see.
Athrun smiled as he slipped the pendant on her neck with ease. "That's right. This is the pendant you gave me. Remember that day? The day I self-destructed Aegis? It really did protect me... and I hope this would protect you too."
Cagalli felt tears welling up her eyes. It wasn't because of sadness... it was happiness... happiness because Athrun really cared for her... even if he doesn't remember anything.
She brushed her tears and whispered a small 'thank you.' With all the strength she had, she headed for the car.
It was only then that things made sense.This is the pendant you gave me. Remember that day? The day I self-destructed Aegis?
Athrun had amnesia... right...?
So... he doesn't remember anything right...?
So... how in the world-?
And everything made sense. She quickly spun around and felt a pair of strong hands encircle her waist in a hug. She looked up to see Athrun smiling warmly at her.
"Athrun... have you...?" she croaked. She couldn't believe it was possible but then...
Athrun regained his memories.
It was the happiest thing that could happen right now. Athrun... he's now back.. he'll never leave her side again.
"I'm not allowing you to go back to Yuna again, Cagalli, I almost lost you..." Athrun whispered gently as he held her protectively.
Cagalli didn't know what to do and so she followed her instincts.
"STUPID! WHY DID YOU ONLY TELL ME NOW! ATHRUN ZALA! ARGH! YOU'RE REALLY STUPID! ARGH!" It was the normal Cagalli-is-pissed-as-hell-mode and Athrun was her target. She wrenched out of his grasps and punched him square in the face.
Athrun staggered a bit from the impact. "What was that for?"
Cagalli punched him again, this time lighter, "That's for being stupid, stupid!" She quickly brushed her hands on hey eyes to stop her tears for falling.
Athrun blinked and smiled warmly. "Maybe I'm stupid... I almost let you go..."
"Yeah, good thing you know! It is hard to find someone like me, you know!"
"Right... someone as bossy, impatient, stubborn-"
"You're so mean!"
"-beautiful, strong and caring person as yourself."
There are just some things that words aren't able to express... cliché yet true. It is fascinating that even how much you try to chant the words in your mind, you just couldn't get your brain to cooperate with your lips and let the words roll out.
The words 'I love you' are words with deep impression that even how much you tell yourself these words pertaining to your special someone, you just couldn't say it.
These are the words Athrun and Cagalli yet have to utter and everything will end happily ever after.
But then, that would be for another story...
This fic is dedicated to my classmates in 2- Rutherford. Classmates, even if we have different sections next year, I still won't forget you. I dedicate this fic to you... especially this chapter... I really put everything I know and all my skills in writing just for you. You gave me strength to attain whatever position I have right now. Classmates, mahal na mahal ko kayong lahat, 'di yan magbabago. All the things we shared will stay here with me. Even if we were the star section, we still kept all our antics and most of all, ourselves. I never felt any pressure on you guys, for once, I felt normal for my age. I maybe too sensitive about our parting, but it's just normal. You were the best people I could ever be with. You understood me, I understood you. And now, goodbye.
That's it folks... this is the end of my AxC fic.
I would like to thank all of those people who took time to read this story... you really helped me finished this.
Hehehehe! I'm really sorry for ending it like this... I really wanted this to be a tragedy but I'm too much depressed right now to do that. So, I just left you hanging.
I decided to delete the song used... seemed to have a policy against it.
I don't have plans for a sequel... but if you guys want an epilogue (to take the hanging part out... hehehe) maybe I'll try... just tell me , okay?
Please, please, please, I'm begging you to review. I just want to know what you think of this fic... this is my first attempt of a three-chaptered fic and I don't know if it is satisfactory... please.. -puppy eyes-
Well, people, that's the end of my rambles I hope to hear from you again in my other fics...
Thank you for everything!