by Taitofan

Rated PG-13 for yaoi, incest, and lime

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I wish I did, but I'm sure all of the non-yaoi fans are really glad I don't.

Authors Note: Okay, so this is pretty short. But that means fewer chances for OOCness, ne? Still some though, this is yaoi after all. The timeline is after part one, but before part two. No one featured is above genin level yet and everyone's back in their original villages. No spoilers that way. smiles Um, silliness ahead. And major implied "activities" that I'm sure you can guess. Crack couples all that way baby!

Inspiration Note: The idea came from the picture/comic "Normal Brothers" by gins on deviantART. I'd link to it, if the site would let me… It's really great; you can email me if you want me to send you the link. And yes, the last line was straight from the picture.

Japanese lesson: Kami-sama is the Japanese equivalent of God.

Flames do nothing but make me laugh, although I'll listen to any CC you have. Please read, review, and enjoy! Finished 3-11-05


Temari grinned as the timer went off with a loud beep. Finally, she'd done it. After years of practicing, she'd finally mastered what had so long tormented her—cooking. Yes, Temari had finally cooked a meal without burning, charring, or smoking a single thing. The meal was truly perfect.

She was extremely proud of herself. And to think that her brothers had said that she could never do it, even if she practiced for the next fifty years… Well, she'd shown them, hadn't she? Honestly, this whole "domestic" thing wasn't so hard once you got the hang of it…

Smiling smugly, she picked up the frying pan she'd been cooking in and headed for the living room. She'd show her brothers her masterpiece, and then rub it in their faces that they'd been wrong. Oh yes, that sounded fun indeed…

"Hey guys, look what I-"


That was the noise of Temari's pan falling to the floor.


That was the sound of two angry brothers.


That was Temari's initial reaction at seeing her brothers.

Kankurou was seated on the couch, his hood lying forgotten on the floor, his face paint smudged, and his usual jumpsuit pulled down to his waist. Gaara was straddling his older brother, his hair mused and half-naked. Before she'd interrupted them, they'd been kissing… or perhaps "shoving their tongues down each other's throats" was more appropriate…

"You guys…" Temari gasped, wide-eyed, "You, you… You were going to have sex on our couch! What have I told you about doing that stuff on the furniture I have to use too? It's bad enough I have to use the same shower as you… And look, I finally cooked the perfect dinner and you made me drop it! Oh, see if I ever cook for you two ingrates again!"

As Temari continued to rant, Kankurou and Gaara rolled their eyes and tuned her out. It wasn't like they hadn't heard some sort of variation of this speech before. Like last week when she'd caught them making out on the kitchen counter. Or when they'd been having "fun" three days ago on the stairs… It hadn't been their fault they couldn't make it to one of their rooms, was it? Of course not! Temari just blew things out of proportion…

"So for the last time, if you're going to screw around, do it in your own rooms! Got it?" The boys looked at Temari, then back at each other, and nodded. With no words, Kankurou picked Gaara up bridal style and carried him up the stairs. Seconds later Temari heard a door slam shut.

'At least I won't have to worry about walking in on them… Kami-sama, please let them be quiet…'

And of course, the second she thought that the bedsprings started squeaking, followed by some exceptionally loud moans.


Sighing, she bent down to clean up the ruined food, ignoring the scattered clothes thrown on random spots on the floor. Her perverted brothers could pick them up when they were done. Probably in a few hours… Sometimes the stamina they had from being shinobi was an unfortunate thing… For Temari at least.

And as she blocked out the lusty sounds coming from upstairs, she could only think one thing…

'Why can't I have normal brothers?'