Legal drek. I don't own the show. This is fanfiction, and isn't used for achieving any kind of profit.

Innkeeper and head maid are my own inventions, but they are nothing more, then names, with about ten dialogie lines at the very end.


BY ANY NAME...

Shego looked around in slight irritation. After yet one more defeat from Kim Possible and her rag-tag team, lair was fit only for demolition. At least she was lucky enough to wind up in her room, and not in a jail cell, as always. That bothered Shego some, because she was fairly sure, that Kim had the means of tracking her down. Shego shrugged. At least, she didn't had to survive through trip to correction facility with Drakken.

On the other hand, what was there to be done here? Lair wasn't fit to live in, not by any measure. Drakken's latest invention was some kind of 'weather machine', and the whole top of lair was torn off with a little tornado, which that clumsy sidekick accidentally started. Of course, Drakken had helped him along enough to send machine whirling in tornado, and, after a while, to get it smashed on one of still standing walls.

Of course, Shego didn't cared much for another of Drakken's hair-brained schemes gone haywire, as long as it wasn't bothering her directly. But this time, it did bothered her directly, alright. Tampering with weather made a huge storm cloud gather above, and with not a square inch of roof to hide under, Shego had absolutely no wish to spend a night in the lair. To make matters worse, garage's roof caved-in, instead of being ripped away, and whatever was in garage, was trashed too thoroughly, to make it work before dark.

On other hand, this lair wasn't too far from civilization, and Shego was pretty sure, that she might be able to reach Middleton before rain, and when the rain'll break out, she would be safely within some hotel. With that thought, Shego dragged her suitcase from under her bed. A spare costume flied in, first, then some lingerie, and socks. After a second of thinking, toothbrush, comb, bottle of perfume, box of tampons and tube of lipstick joined them. Then, everything was covered by a blanket. Perhaps, Shego was a bit infantile on that one, but it was her favorite blanket, and she did take some pains to retrieve it every time.

She was about to close the suitcase, but then looked in the mirror, and swore. Getting in a hotel, while still being dressed in her costume might be about as wise, as marching into a police station, and standing under her own 'wanted' sign. After a few seconds of frantic digging through closet, and one relieved sign later, Shego straightened up, holding 'emergency ensemble' bundle in her hands. It's been a while since she last used that. So a while, that those clothes were brand new. She had those lost and replaced several times since last time.

With a self-mocking snort, Shego started to strip. As she bent down to pull the suit off her legs, she heard faint buzzing behind her. Much to her honor, she turned around and looked, before flinging fireball. Something, oddly reminiscent of a small chopper, darted back to the door, and through it. Shego was pretty sure, she saw lens flare, as the thing crossed sunbeam.

With a long-practiced effort of willpower, she repressed her ire, and went to lock the door instead. One of those days, she's got to take one of those things down, and get Drakken to track down, who the hell was controlling them, exactly. She already knew, that it was some computer genius, who helped Kim out, as a comms and intelligence officer. Perhaps, being stuck as a subordinate to a teenager screwed this man major-time, because Shego noticed his cameras at least once a week, usually, when she was changing, or taking a bath.

Well, at least she knew, where the camera was, this time. Maybe, she'll manage to slip away without Kim and her voueristic subordinate noticing. Shego shook her head. As far as she was concerned, she didn't care about being seen naked, and certainly didn't cared, of that... Wade, she remembered, jerking off at seeing her. Sure as hell, she wasn't going to do anything about that.

She pulled on jeans, and white pullover, both with Club Banana logo on them. Shego chucked to herself, upon seeing it. She had those 'appropriated' from Club Banana just for a sole point of amusement. It just made her laugh to think, that somewhere on the other end of town, Kim's wearing same labels. Clothes didn't looked too fashionable on her, and when she added glasses, she was looking more like a librarian, then criminal. For a final touch, Shego braided her hair. That done, she looked in cracked mirror again, and gave herself a sardonic smirk.

Five minutes later, she was hiking down the road, suitcase in hand, and eyes on the horizon. Sunset looked surreal, with the storm cloud overhead, and bright red sunlight.

Climbing out of window with suitcase wasn't anything to think about. At least, she ditched the camera. She was pretty sure of that, because she snatched one of Drakken's 'little toys', as he called them. He, apparently, had no idea, how useful they could be, in skillful hands. Shego never told him anything, either. It was more fun to hint him about one of them, and then sneak it out of his lab. He never noticed, and never remembered, if he ever had made anything.

Anyway, emission detector told Shego, that apart from natural radiation, area was clear, when she reached the road. She shook her head bemusedly. A little sneakiness, and you're invisible. Of course, camera might be record&burst, but then it wouldn't be remotely controlled. It was easy, alright, but Shego had this done before, and knew, that after catching her in some state of nakedness, camera usually disappeared for a day, or so. So she checked only out of sense of duty, then anything else.

Shego looked up, and quickened her pace somewhat. She was pretty sure, that rain will start in a hour, or so. She wasn't sure, why she was certain, exactly. Maybe it was her experience in travelling, maybe - her womanly intuition, maybe her aching bones. Old breaks never quite let her live freely, whenever a rain was gathering. Not that it hurt her much, but it was enough to make her feel quite miserable.

A distant noise, which she heard for a few seconds, intensified, and passed past her, revealing itself to be a car. Shego, with her trained eye, put the car owner in the category of posers-losers. Car itself was fine enough, but the stickers like "Big boy inside" made it look worse, then it was.

Shego shrugged, when the car swerved to the side, and stopped. Apparently, 'big boy' decided to make a good deed, and give poor girl a lift to town. Shego, however, didn't thought, that it was really meant for free. She chuckled under her nose. Riding a car beat walking any way you slice it. And even if guy would think with wrong head, she could just get out, and continue walking.

"Hey, baby, you need a lift?" - well, the guy looked ordinary enough.

"Sure, I could use one." - replied Shego nonchalantly, stopping at the door.

"Well, climb in!" - at that, Shego almost rolled her eyes. Could the moron guess to open the damned door for her? Signing, she opened the door, tossed her suitcase on the backseat, and climbed in herself.

"So, where are you going, baby?" - asked driver, when they were on the road.

"Middleton." - Shego wasn't in the mood to elaborate.

"So, do you have, where to stay, in Middleton?" - he asked again.

"I'll find some hotel, or something." - said Shego.

"So, what you're going to do in Middleton?" - he continued asking.

"Have some fun." - Shego couldn't help, but be a little irritated at his 'so'.

"So, you're going to have fun, eh? Maybe you can fit me in, sometime?" - he continued.

Shego, almost silently, exhaled. Of all the possible choices, she had to end up with a complete moron. Well, if he won't take a hint...

"Nah, don't think so. I have quite a tight schedule." - she replied.

"So? Maybe right now, then?" - the tone of voice was quite pressurizing.

"Oh? And if not?" - she breezed.

"So you can walk, in that case." - he said smugly.

Shego signed on the inside, but as a matter of fact, she was delighted.

"Ah, since you put it that way, I think I can fit you in, after all. Why don't you pull over there?" - she asked, pointing to the small gravel road on the right. He did that, without question, stopped, killed the engine, and turned to face Shego, with a sleazy smile.

"So..." - he said, and Shego exhaled, this time quite loudly, in the same second with loud thwack.

"Blood... Yucky." - she sneered, pulled the door handle on driver's side, and shoved his body out, before blood from shattered nose would splat her or car seats.

'At least, he died with a smile.' - thought Shego, climbing over to the driver's seat. She leaned out, and snatched out a handkerchief from body's pocket. In the next second, all door handles were wiped off, and handkerchief tossed on the dashboard. Shego blew a mocking kiss to remnants of previous car owner, and with a honk, turned back on the road.

Rest of the drive was uneventful. Shego ended up in seedy part of town, which suited her just fine. She walked out of car, and 'accidentally' didn't locked it. She knew, that by the time road police will found body, car would be already far away, and change several owners after her, probably. Of course, that didn't stopped her from wiping everything she touched. That wasn't routine for her, as she usually worked in gloves, so she did her best to make this a through job.

Half an hour of walking brought Shego to a more or less respectable part of town. This area was suburb, inhabited with middle-class people, mostly office workers, lab workers and school teachers. Without thinking long, she went to "Four Leprechauns Inn" - a nice hotel for middle-class, who decided to offer themselves fancy evening. She's been there before, and found this hotel a nice place to unwind and gather some nerves together. After all, it was quiet, and they served a wide selection of drinks.

Shego told herself, that she deserved a little rest, before busting out Drakken. Drakken could wait - he's got his own comfy padded cell, and it wouldn't hurt him to rest a few days as well. Shego snorted. She put her suitcase in her room, and now was standing before her bed, trying to figure out, weather to go to sleep already, or to go down to the main hall. They had a fireplace, and through it was on gas, and not on real wood, Shego wanted to sit by it, and sip some... did they still served potin here?

Upon thinking this, Shego snorted.

"So Irish, and I'm not a redhead, even." - she muttered. That lead her to a pondering about redheads in total, and about one - in particular. Shego grumbled, after a few seconds.

"What the hell I'm doing?" - she asked herself.

"As usual." - she replied, - "Thinking about Kim Possible."

"And why do I do that?" - she continued the conversation.

"Oh, just because you've been checking her out for some time, now. Especially since she hit her eighteens. And since you are offduty now, why not daydream some? After all, it might help you to pass the time, till you'd really want to sleep." - the reply was logical, but she still couldn't repress giggles.

'Heavens forefend. Talking to myself. Azrael, please, take me now, before I turn into female Drakken.' - she thought, still laughing, and went out of room.

Downstairs was almost empty. Autumn wasn't exactly tourist season, and Shego could be the only one staying here. And the rain had decreased the number of attendants, as well. Bar was still quite packed, but Shego didn't wanted to go there - she was in too lazy a mood to.

So, she settled for lounge. Lounge was empty. She didn't minded. More space at the fireplace, then. She sat down in the large chair, and signed. Maybe it wasn't heaven yet, but close to it. One might think, that Shego was a young woman, and active one to boot, and that would be true, if only... In reality, Shego was elder, then her age was. She wasn't prefect, and her body bore the brunt of that. And through, up to date, Shego wasn't in any way disabled or injured, small things were in abundance. Her bones, which all ached in eerie symphony of pain, whenever the rain started, for example. If only it was only that, Shego would still be young, but her mind was elder, then actual age, too. She, in her almost twenty seven, saw things enough to last a couple of lives, already.

Anyway, she was just enjoying the calmness. Sticking her legs on the fireplace grate proved to be a great idea. Now, she only needed something to warm her from inside. The only trouble was, that she just managed to get so cozy, that she didn't wanted to get up for anything.

Door squeaked slightly, and then closed. Shego debated looking there, but decided, that she doesn't care enough to see, who's there, to do so. Quiet footsteps rendered her thinking moot, because whoever came in, would be in her angle of view pretty soon. Shego caught the glimpse of green vest, and checkered skirt, and signed in relief. There went her problem. She'll just order herself a drink.

"What would milady like?" - the voice was strongly familiar, but Shego still couldn't shake the lazy spell over her.

"Hmm... Do you still serve potin, here?" - she asked absentmindedly.

"Oh, for sure, milady. Would you like it served here?" - she was asked.

"Oh, sure, sure." - she replied.

Quiet footsteps out of room, a minute of silence, and return of footsteps.

"Your potin, milady." - small clay mug was placed in her hand. Shego finally brought herself to look up - to look in the laughing eyes of Kim Possible. Strangely, through, that didn't startled her as much, as she thought it should.

Shego looked her over. She looked almost like maids here - only clothes were much more expensive. And looking just a tad different - enough to notice only after a careful examination. On other hand, lack of name-tag was a dead giveaway.

"You're not one of the staff." - Shego didn't asked, she stated.

"Ah, yeah." - replied Kim, sitting down in the chair to Shego's left.

Shego looked on the mug in her hand, and took a small sip of it - "If you don't mind me asking, why treat a stranger?"

Laughter in Kim's eyes increased, as she replied gayly - "Oh, I was just looking for a way to start conversation."

"Oh. Well, let's get introduced, then. My name is Alice." - said Shego.

Kim chuckled, like she just heard the best joke ever - "I'm glad to meet you, Alice. I'm called Jane. Why are you sitting here all alone?"

Shego shrugged - "I'm not much of a party girl, and even less of a bar girl. Besides, I'm weary."

Come to think of it, you do look pale. And... Well, when was the last time you slept?

Shego shrugged again.

"I skipped last night, but other then that, I sleep normally. Thanks for asking, through."

"I thought so, and you're welcome. You really need to sleep, I think."

"Oh I will... As soon as I get warmed up, I will."

Shego moaned, as she tried to get more comfortable. Kim straightened in her chair.

"Oh? You're hurt?"

Shego moaned again, as she finally settled in more or less comfortable position.

"I'll live, Jane. It's just my back - aches, when it rains. By the way... Why are you dressed up like staff here?"

Kim laughed quietly, before getting concerned again - "I'm friends with an owner of the place, and she gave me this outfit as a present. But, about your back..."

Shego waved her hand - "Don't mind it. It's not the first time, and not the last."

Kim slipped out of her chair, and stood behind Shego.

"Maybe I'll be able to do something about this?"

Shego tensed at the contact. Then relaxed.

"You know, Jane..." - she murmured, flexing her shoulders a little, as Kim kneaded them, - "I could swear, that you're seducing me."

"Oh? Well, hypothetically speaking, what if I do?"

"Well... Oh, a little harder, please... Then, I suppose, I'd spend some more time here, then, maybe, ask you to my room... Ooh... Yeah. Exactly this spot, yeah, it's been giving me trouble."

"Mm... Sounds like a plan. Can you lean somewhat forward, please?"

Shego, with a grunt, moved to the edge of chair, and leaned forward. Kim had hard time reaching for her, from behind the chair back. But there was more then enough space between Shego and it. Kim did the math, and climbed in. Her skirt was wide enough to let her put her legs over chair handles, and Shego's back provided a perfect cover for any indignity, that might've happened to her.

Shego was purring, in the direct sense of the word, when Kim started to rub her whole back. For a few minutes, she was too much of a poodle to say anything. Then, as she gathered her thoughts enough, she murmured - "You know, I never pegged myself as your type, Jane."

A quiet laugh - "Come on, Alice. You're pretty and smart, and you look too damn cute in your glasses."

"Oh... Well, I suppose. But you know but zilch about me."

Quiet laugh again - "Oh, that... I expected it to come and bite me in ass. Call it woman's intuition. I... Well, I have this feeling, of sorts. Like I know you for a long time, and I liked you all that time... Heck, I even feel, like I've been watching you. That kind of creeps me out, because I feel myself like some kind of stalker... Silly, huh?"

"Oh, yeah, indeed. But no sillier, then I think."

"Hmm? Come on, what can be sillier?"

"Well... I... Dunno, really, it's like I can trust you. I feel, well, like you're some kind of champion. One that never does anything sneaky. Silly, huh?"

Fingers caressed the sides of Shego's neck.

"Well... I don't know. If I'll say silly, I'd be admitting, that I going to do something sneaky. If I say it's not - I'll be boasting. Tough choice."

Shego laughed softly - "Well, it looks more like second case to me."

Fingers gone slightly lower, on Shego's collarbone, pulling her back gently. Shego didn't put up any resistance. Rather she leaned back. The feeling of soft body behind her back put her mind at ease. She said quietly - "It's been a while, since I felt that good."

Fingers paused a bit, then started to rub her shoulders again.

"Why so?"

"Well... It's been a while since I last rested, period... Especially, rested even remotely that good."

Fingers inched their way lower.

"We'll have to make sure, that it won't be a while after today, should we?"

Shego, without any hesitation, replied - "Definitely."

She was surprised herself, but knew, that it was truth. She did wanted this to happen a lot of times. Without thinking, she placed her hands on conveniently placed knees on each side of her, and stroked them.

"Mm..."

Shego felt her ear being nipped at, and in the same time, two hands gently cupping her breasts. Heaven...

Behind the door, two pairs of eyes peeked in.

"Told you, Jane! Pay up."

"Dammit! How'd you know those things, Alice?"

"Experience, Jane, experience. I couldn't ran this inn for thirty years with closed eyes, could I?"

"Yeah, yeah. I still take my twenty-something body over your experience."

"That's why I'm the owner of inn, and you're a head maid."

"Yeah, sure. So, what now? Should we lock the door? It seems like Kim's going to do this chick right in the chair."

"Nah, don't bother. They're classy girls, they'd go to 'chick''s room for indecent stuff, that's for sure."

"Or really? Wanna bet?"

"You're on!"


FFs been a bear, and swallowed all my direct speech dashes, so I had to use quotes.