A deep and harsh chill had settled about the room. The voices and cries had silenced long ago, only the small cackling of a distant fire remained. I remember sitting, huddled in the far back of the tiny passage way, listening to each different tone. Some were deep and clear, others of a softer quality, but all were a threat to me in my present situation. I could have retreated further back into the inky darkness, letting it shroud me from prying eyes, but I remained where I was, hoping to hear her.
The delicate, low voice that could warm any frozen heart, so gentle a bell like peal coming from her rosy lips, Christine. I sat and waited, clutching the small blue diamond ring in my numb hands, rolling it about, remembering her fingers lightly caressing mine as she placed it there. Oh God what had I done? Why? Why hadn't I let only that simpering boy go? She might still have been here with me, but I couldn't push her tear filled eyes from my mind. The brown orbs normally so full of life, had been smothered with desperation. Her shuddering breaths as she silently pleaded with me caused my heart to constrict painfully. Clutching at my shirt I wept, tears rolling down my scarred face, the face of a demon. I am a monster. I couldn't stop the words from filling every inch of my being.
I shifted my weight and a small crunch caused me to look down. A million deformations stared cruelly back, I was lost in a sea of terror. The raw red skin of my face seemed to burn as gazed at my own reflection. I slowly picked a sharp shard of glass up off the stone floor, running my fingers over the razor sharp edge, my heart pounding in my ears. I could end it now. Just one small slice across my neck or wrist. I was dying anyhow, my vital organs seemed to be slowing every second, and my fragile heart, so covered in scars, felt near to bursting. Taking a shuddering breath I placed the tip against my skin, letting the point sink dangerously in, just a few more seconds and it all would be over. I closed my eyes, swallowing thickly, I remained there, simply sitting with the deadly shard at my veins for what seemed an eternity. With a low growl I threw the glass as far as I could, listening for it's light shatter. I buried my face in my hands, the parchment like skin of the right side of my face cutting deeper then any blade could ever hope to. Even now I couldn't bring myself to end it, my body still wanted life. But for what? What did I have to live for?