McKay continued to sulk, trailing Sheppard back in the direction of the infirmary. By unspoken agreement they had both decided to go visit Ford before heading off…Rodney to his lab, and Sheppard to work out. Resting really wasn't in either man's nature. That was resting to them.

"Doctor McKay," chirped the radio in McKay's ear. Sheppard saw him hesitate and slowed, as McKay hit his radio.

"Yes, Radek?"

"There's…ah…there is a situation in your lab. Could you come here please?"

McKay frowned, looking at the major, "Of course. I'll be right there."

"Oh," Zelenka continued, sounding a little strange, even over the radio, "There is no emergency, so it is not necessary to rush. Just, at your own pace, yes?"

"Um, sure, be there soon," McKay looked a little bewildered by that, but shrugged, turning the radio off. He looked at the major, "Sorry, major, will you tell Ford I'll be along in a minute to see—"

"Major Sheppard," this time, it was the major's radio. He held up a finger to McKay, hitting his radio.

"Yes, sergeant?"

"Sir," Bates' voice was terribly formal, "I regret that it appears some of the Athosian children managed to get into your quarters sir. They appear to have made quite a mess."

Sheppard winced, horrible thoughts such as red crayon on Johnny Cash running through his head. "Damn. Okay, I'll be right there, sergeant."

"Yes sir. Bates out."

Sheppard sighed, nodding at Rodney's questioning look, "Well…looks like we'll both be late. I'll see you there in half an hour or so, yeah?"

Rodney nodded, already turning around, "See you there."


When Rodney reached the lab, it was empty of people, which surprised him. Frowning, he walked in a quick circle around the consoles, but there wasn't even a hint of a person around. Not even a mug of coffee or a half-eaten sandwich….

Which, of course, made him instantly suspicious. There was always a half-eaten sandwich.

His eyes narrowed, and the back of his neck itched. Of course, it literally did itch, the healing skin hidden beneath a layer of gauze driving him nuts, but that wasn't what was really causing his figurative neck to itch.

He stalked out of the lab, then turned and walked to his room a few feet away.

Sure enough, there was a green military rain hat tacked to the door. Dread filled him.

He tapped the entrance panel and looked inside.And found himself face to face with umbrellas.

Lots and lots of umbrellas.

"What in the name of…." Jaw wide open, he wandered inside and turned in a slow circle.

Where they had come from, he had no idea, but they were everywhere. There were at least twelve large ones, plus a collection of what looked like cocktail umbrellas scattered all over his desk (these look handmade), and at least one decorative Chinese parasol hanging from the spear head of the Great Axe. They hung from light fixtures, rested on the floor fully opened, and stood propped up in the corners. Red ones, blue ones, polka dot ones, striped ones—many with company names emblazoned on them, like "Genzyme," "Integra," and "Stratagene."

Practically geek calling cards.

Best of all, somehow, some twisted mind had managed to pipe in Gene Kelly crooning "Singing in the Rain" over the intercom. It was apparently on a continuous loop.

That was just CRUEL.

"RADEK!" he screamed, regretting it as his still weak voice squeaked. "ZELENKA! Where are you! Simpson! Corrigan! You think this is funny! You are so dead, you hear me! This means war!"

He reached up to tap his radio, to yell at them over the airwaves, but was interrupted before he could.

"McKay." Sheppard didn't sound amused. Rodney immediately tapped a response.


"Gene Kelly?" It was practically growled.

"Ohhh, they're so going to pay," McKay replied with total understanding.

"My room is covered in raingear! I can't even see the floor through all this military green! Someone even covered Johnny in a poncho—which is sacrilege, let me tell you. I've got rain hats hanging from the ceiling, for Christ's sake!"

"I got lucky with umbrellas, myself," McKay replied wryly, picking up a bright purple umbrella with "Boehringer Mannheim" emblazoned on it. "I didn't even think to bring one with me, but, obviously, for some obscure reason, some of the microbiologists brought theirs."

"And how the hell are they piping "Singing in the Rain," over the intercom?" Sheppard demanded. "What kind of sick twisted mind thinks of this sort of thing?"

McKay smiled a little at the mental jinx. "Radek Zelanka," he replied, "And his merry band of reprobates."

"And Bates? BATES!" Sheppard sounded completely mystified. "Of all people! Stackhouse, okay, maybe, but Bates?" McKay could almost hear Sheppard shaking his head, "Unbelievable."

"We'll get them back," McKay promised him. "They haven't heard the end of this."

"Major? Doctor McKay?" Teyla sounded rather odd over the radio, "Are you there?"

"What is it Teyla?" Sheppard asked in response.

"I am confused by something."

"Oh?" McKay crossed his arms.

"Doctor Weir told me that I should get some rest in my quarters, and sent me back here but…" she paused, "There are… there are rain ponchos everywhere, and a bright orange umbrella on my bed with the name "Corning" on it. Who is Corning? And why is his umbrella in my quarters? I just...I do not understand…."

Sheppard couldn't help it. He really didn't want to, but he started to laugh. They even got Teyla?

"This I have to see," the major said over the radio, and McKay could hear the sound of him exiting his room to run over to Teyla's nearby. A moment later, his laughter got louder.

"It is not that amusing, major," Teyla admonished over the radio.

McKay's mouth quirked into an involuntary smile at that. Sheppard was right, getting Teyla was impressive. And awfully brave. It also meant Elizabeth was involved, because she was the only one with the guts to do it. And if she was in on it then….

Oh God…Ford.

"Perhaps…we should check the infirmary," McKay suggested quietly, clearing his throat at the idea of their currently most vulnerable member. "I have a feeling…."

"Oh, poor Ford!" Sheppard said suddenly. "Trapped in a bed with Gene Kelly! We have to hurry!"

"Who is Gene Kelly?" Teyla asked, still completely confused. "And why is someone singing about singing and dancing in the rain in my room? It is a pleasant enough song at first, but…It's…uh…oh, why will it not stop?" Then a second later, "Major! Wait for me! I'm coming with you!"

"You have to admit," McKay said, walking now towards the infirmary, where Ford was undoubtedly surrounded by the happy strains of "Singing in the Rain" on all sides, "They're pretty clever."

"Clever? Oh, they haven't seen clever yet," Sheppard replied. "Where are you?"

"Almost there," McKay said, catching site of the infirmary doors up ahead. He could already see that they were open, and the crooning vocals of Gene Kelly interspersed with the weak pitiful cries of a thoroughly unhappy Ford floated into the hallway.

"Behind you," Sheppard called. McKay looked up as Sheppard came around a corner to his left, Teyla on his heels. The three of them formed a solid line as they stalked to the infirmary, walking unconsciously in time. Sheppard smiled as he too discerned the showtune, and it wasn't a nice smile.

"You're right, McKay, they will pay. Oh yes, they will all pay..."


The End

A/N Personally, I love that movie, but could you imagine that one song on a continuous loop? The "doot da doot doot, da da, doot da doot doot," over and over again? LOL!

Hope you enjoyed it!

(P.S. I do actually have a purple umbrella somewhere with Boehringer Mannheim on it. Once upon a time, I was a lab tech in an immunology lab, and the vendors for the biotech companies liked to give me free stuff, so I'd order their glassware, or their pipettes, or their enzymes next time. Hee hee. The good old days. Well, until I almost poisoned everyone in the lab by being a bit free with the ingredients for a western blot. It's really not like cooking, you know that? Winging amounts because you've done it a hundred times and there aren't any other measuring tubes available…not a good idea. This is why I am not a scientist. I saved a lot of lives the day I made that decision. LOL!)