A/N: So...incidentally, I'm listening to Think of Me right now...and evil dictator is staring over my shoulder. This be-eth my parody of Phantom of the Opera. Hopefully it will not suck!
evil dictator/N: She just typed nit suck! Ignore the sampleannoying reviews at the bottom. Oh, and ignore the evil dictator standing behind the curtian or be weirded to DEATH!
Disclaimer: Uh...no. I don't own rights to anything. Much less PotO or Inuyasha.
Another A/N: And ignore the examples unless really bored...like evil dictator said.
Now letmy Opera begin!
The silver-haired Tsubaki once again caterwauled her way through the aria, which was not that bad of a piece in itself. But our dear diva made it sound as if Satan himself had composed it.
The Opera could certainly use a new star.
Off the to the side of the screechy diva, three men stood behind the ballet mistress. I recognised the man with straight platinum blonde hair and a stiff posture as none other than the current manager of the Opera, Kaijou Sesshômaru-sama. However, the two men next to him were completely unfamiliar to me. One was thin and balding, and the other had long wavy ripples of dark hair, some covering one scarlet eye. If I strained my ears, I could faintly make out what they were saying…
"Although our leading soprano, Tsubaki-dono, has been with us for many years, and we are quite proud of her, we are equally proud of our ballet, which is one of the best in Japan." Sesshômaru-sama was stating calmly, gesturing to the twirling graceful dancers who leaped around the stage.
"Indeed…" the older of the two newcomers murmured. "Who is that lovely dark girl, the one with the slight coloring of make-up above her eyes?"
The ballet mistress turned. "My daughter. Fukuru Sango."
Sesshômaru-sama gave a hint of a smirk. "Gentlemen, allow me to introduce the ballet mistress, Fukuru Kikyo-jo."
"A pleasure, my lady. Your daughter is certainly talented." The one who still had hair replied with a bow.
Kikyo smiled. "Thank you, sir."
The younger one continued. "Might I inquire about the identity of that charming dancer there, the one in the center."
Kikyo raised an eyebrow. "Higurashi Kagome-chan? She is a promising talent Fushigi-sama. Very promising indeed."
So it was Fushigi-sama. How interesting…not. I would still like to know what he is doing here.
The older one opened his eye wider. "Higurashi-san? I don't suppose she was related to that Hokkaido violinist, Higurashi Matoko-san?"
"His only child."
"An orphan, eh?"
"I think of her as a daughter also." Kikyo said sharply.
I smiled. No need to worry, then. My eyes flicked back over to Tsubaki. Good grief, she sang so badly it was destructive.
"Would you care to give us a private performance, Tsubaki-dono?" Fushigi-sama was asking the silver haired diva. With a gleaming smile, Tsubaki launched into an aria from Hannibal.
I believe that, before the set fell, a dancer may have seen a flash of black up in the galleys. No other trace of me.
Nevertheless, the set did fall.
Tsubaki gave a delightful scream as it fell, and jumped away just in time.
"What in creation was that?" Fushigi-sama shouted.
"He's here, the Phantom of the Opera!" a dancer, Sango-san, I believe, whispered to Kagome.
Kagome frowned. "It's probably just a myth, Sango-chan." She sounded more like she was trying to reassure herself than Sango-san.
"No, no, no!" Tsubaki screeched. "I refuse to perform under these conditions!"
"But these things do happen…" the older of the two strangers pleaded.
"These things do happen, Kaitou-sama!" Tsubaki shrilled. "That's what all of you people say for the past three years! Until you stop these things from happening, this thing does not happen!" The spoiled diva flounced offstage.
"Goodbye, gentlemen. If you require assistance in your new position, this Sesshômaru will be in Polynesia." Sesshômaru-sama left in the opposite direction as Tsubaki, followed by his secretaries Rin-san and Jaken.
Ah. New management. So that was what Fushigi-sama and Kaitou-sama were doing here. A wonderful introduction to my opera house, I must say. But, common courtesy is always appreciated, especially after a prank or two.
"What are we going to do, Naraku?" Kaitou-san groaned. "What ever are we going to do?"
"I have a message from the Opera Ghost, Kaitou-san." Kikyo said calmly.
"Good heavens, you're all obsessed!" Naraku-san (easier said than Fushigi-sama, as he is part of the new management) grumbled. "Well, what does your precious phantom have to say?" he asked Kikyo sarcastically.
Kikyo kept her dignity and continued. "He welcomes you to his opera house-"
"His opera house!" Kaitou-san exclaimed.
"-and requests that you continue to leave Box Five open for his use."
"Onigumo, don't you believe this prank is in poor taste?" Naraku-san said coldly to his fellow manager.
Kikyo cleared her throat and silence resumed. "He apologises for his earlier prank on Tsubaki, and reminds you that his salary is due."
"His salary!" both managers exclaimed in unison.
Kikyo raised an eyebrow. "Why yes. Kaijin-sama used to give him two thousand yen a month. Perhaps you can afford more, with the Viscount as your patron?"
A Viscount? I must have appeared late. Feh, this is news.
"All the same, there is still the problem of who is to sing Tsubaki-dono's part in the show tonight." Naraku-san pointed out.
"Higurashi Kagome-chan could sing it." Sango-san spoke up.
Onigumo-san raised an eyebrow. "A dancer? Oh, don't be ridiculous."
"She has been taking lessons from a great teacher." Kikyo cut in.
"Really? Who?" This question was directed at Kagome.
Kagome looked uncomfortable. "I don't know his name, sir."
"Oh! Splendid!" Kaitou-san exclaimed sarcastically.
"Come, let's just hear her." Naraku-san said wearily.
Agewori Shippou-san, the conductor, grumpily gestured for the orchestra to play the same song Tsubaki had been singing formerly.
"All this drama is fraying my nerves." Onigumo-san complained to his partner.
"Hush. She's certainly pretty enough." Naraku consoled the older man.
"Think of me, think of me fondly, when we've said goo-d bye." Kagome began. Already the managers were starting to notice her voice was considerably gentler and clearer than Tsubaki's harsh notes. "Remember me, once in a while, please promise me you-'ll try."
"Soon you'll find, that once again, you long to take your heart back and be free. But please promise me that someday you will think of me."
I am certainly looking forward to tonight's show.
A/N: I might have slightly messed up "Think of Me", so no knifes, please. The honorifics are done purposefully. The narrator only leaves off the honorific on four people. Two are left off as a deliberate insult. The other two are left off as either A) a sign of closeness or affection or B) a sign of family relation, or at least family feeling. Ignore Jaken. He falls into the category of deliberate insult. If anyone asks me who the narrator is, I will bash them with a frying pan. Believe me, getting bashed with an IRON frying pan hurts. A lot.
You may however, ask who the Viscount is, since that hasn't been made blindingly obvious yet. You may also guess who the narrator is. Just as long as you don't go "Who is the narrator?"
Qwerty05: Who's the narrator? It's so confusing.
Elven Kagome: Oh, so sorry then. You'll just have to wait until chapter three, when I make it even more distinctly obvious who he is.
Qwerty06: I know PotO! Is the narrator Raoul?
Elven Kagome: No, you twit. First of all, when was this in the "Phantom of the Opera" category? Raoul will not be appearing! Someone will be playing him, yes, but they are two different things. Second, last time I checked, Raoul was the Viscount de Chagny, and not the Opera Ghost.
Yet another example:
QwertyQueen: I think Kikyo is the Phantom of the Opera!
Elven Kagome: raises an eyebrow Okey dokey then. I wasn't aware it was possible for someone to refer to themselves in both the third and first person. Congratulations on reaching a whole new level of stupidity!
Yes, another example:
QwertyKing: The narrator is Sango! She came back from the dead! And her army is all-turtle! Yaaaaay!
Elven Kagome: What the fuck! I am seriously disturbed…are you reading the right fanfiction? Have you escaped from the violent ward? When did Sango die? She's been right here the whole time? And as much as I adore turtle armies, I don't recall mentioning one.
The last example:
Three-cheers-for-the-red-white-and-Qwerty: The narrator is a female poodle.
Elven Kagome: No he isn't. Why does everyone think the narrator is a girl? He's a man! Man! M-A-N! He also happens to not be a poodle….where you got that from I will never know. Though I find the thought of a poodle singing rather amusing..
Elven Kagome: deadpans Right. Ahem. begins to walk away, then turns a corner and begins running really fast