Chocolate Cake

by Taitofan

Rated PG-13 for het, incest, implied yaoi, and implied lime

Disclaimer: The closest I come to owning Naruto is the merchandise I bought off eBay… Obviously, it isn't mine.

Authors Note: I've been promising Fanfiction Dot Net's WickerWood (known as infinitefirefly on Livejournal, and authoress of "Black Phase," go read it) some sandcest of the GaaTema variety, and I finally got an idea when, you guessed it, I was eating chocolate cake. Surprise, surprise. So anyways, some OOCness. Do note the humor genre, which comes into play near the middle of the fic. Obviously it's a PWP; I couldn't find a plot if I looked all day… Time line is right after part one, a spoiler popping up for the blink of an eye. Also note that this has nothing to do with any of my other fics. All that being said, keep an eye out for more crack couples!

Flames do nothing but make me laugh, although I'll listen to any CC you have. Please read, review, and enjoy! Finished 3-13-05


Temari sighed contently, savoring the rich, creamy, chocolaty taste on her tongue. Cake. Chocolate cake with chocolate frosting, topped with chocolate chips. If heaven was real, and heaven on earth was possible, this was as close as it got.

Temari didn't indulge in sweets very often, especially not cake. No, she wasn't worried about her weight; unlike most girls her age she didn't care about that sort of thing. With all the training she did, she'd never gain a pound even if she ate an entire wedding cake in one sitting. One hard day of practicing with her brothers and she'd be back to normal.

No, the real reason was because she just didn't have the time. Store bought sweets just weren't the same as homemade ones, and baking a cake, decorating it, then eating it took time. Ever since she'd returned to her village after helping Konoha with their runaway-nin problem, she and her brothers had had mission after mission. This was the first afternoon she'd had in quite a while to do whatever she pleased. And she decided that she wanted cake.

She had made her cake with no difficulties… As long as you didn't count the numerous times Kankurou snuck in and tried to eat the batter. But after the fifth time Temari caught him about to stick his fingers in the bowl, she finally threatened to send a message to Konoha telling Shino he was in love with him. Needless to say, that got him to leave her alone. After that, she had preverbal smooth sailing, and the cake was done with no more interruptions.

And now that it cooled and was frosted, she was enjoying it immensely. It was sooo good! So sweet, so smooth, so… Perfect! But then again, she wouldn't accept anything less than perfect. After all, cake was the only thing she could cook and not burn…

As Temari ate, a satisfied smile adorning her face, she felt another presence enter the room. She tensed for a moment, wondering if Kankurou had come back for more abuse, and if the Shino threat would work again. She didn't have to worry though; the slight sound of rustling sand alerted her to Gaara's presence. Sure, he used to scare her to no end, but he'd definitely gotten better. Now he was more… sane. Yes, that was a good way to put it…

Gaara walked further into the kitchen, circling around the table and finally stopping on the side opposite Temari. He didn't sit down or say anything, he just… stared. At her. It was a bit unnerving, but she ignored it and continued to eat her cake. Sure, maybe he was saner, but that didn't mean he was normal

It went on it that fashion for the next few minutes, Temari peacefully eating her dessert and Gaara watching her. It was odd, but Temari knew he must have some reason for staying. If anything, it made her curious. Gaara rarely wanted anything, but it must not have been that important if he was willing to wait until she was done…

When Temari was finally finished eating, Gaara was still staring at her. She looked up at him questioningly, but got no response. That same serious look in his eyes, the small frown, everything she'd come to associate with him. All focused on her. She desperately wished she knew why.

Then it happened. Gaara leaned across the table and… He kissed her. Square on the lips, her little brother kissed her! It was quite unexpected, but she couldn't say she didn't like it… It was her first kiss, but it was actually quite warm, quite nice- Was that his tongue?

Yes, Gaara had darted out his tongue and ran it lightly across Temari's lips. Temari opened her mouth, figuring that it was a request, only to be greatly disappointed when Gaara pulled away. She glared up at him indignantly. Her brother just stole her first kiss and he wouldn't even do it properly? Tanuki demon or not, Temari would kill him-

"Your lips." -Huh?

"What?" Gaara smirked at the confused expression she wore.

"Your lips. They had frosting on them. I helped you clean them off." Temari scowled at the answer.

"You could have just given me a napkin or something…" Gaara leaned back down slowly, a grin forming ever-so-slightly on his lips.

"Yes, but I think my way is much more fun…" Well, that was better. Now Temari wouldn't have to get herself strangled by sand trying to kill him. This time she'd show Gaara how a real kiss went…

Just as the siblings' lips were about to meet for the second time, a voice cut through the silence—

"So, this is your idea of foreplay, huh Temari? Now I know why you wanted to make that cake. You're gonna eat it off his body, right? Could you at least do it in your room and not on the table? I'd like to eat off from it again you know."

The two interrupted siblings whipped around to glare at their middle brother standing in the doorway, wearing a teasing, smug look.

'That'll teach Temari to stop me from eating her cake, then blackmailing me about Shino…'

"Kankurou…" Temari said in a dangerously calm voice.

"Yes, dear sister." He didn't bother to hide the sarcasm in his voice. It wasn't like he was scared of her

"Run." Gaara finished, causing Kankurou to gulp. He was scared of Gaara though…

He managed to dodge the fork thrown at his head and the sand that came flying after him. Fearing for his life, he sprinted up the stairs to his room, not stopping until he'd locked the door and pushed the bureau against it.

'I never did get any cake,' he though dejectedly as he caught his breath, deciding that next time he caught his siblings about to kiss he'd just keep his mouth shut and walk away…

Back in the kitchen, Temari was plotting all of the ways she could tell the Aburame boy how obsessive her brother was with him. Maybe some added embarrassments, like baby pictures, were in order…

"Temari?" Said girl's grand thoughts of revenge were broken at the sound of her youngest brother's voice.

"Yes Gaara?"

"…I think Kankurou had a good idea about the cake. Perhaps we can let him live this time." Temari smiled, not knowing if Gaara was kidding or not, but she wasn't especially concerned. The idea did sound promising… After all, eating off plates was so overrated…

Saying nothing more on the subject, Temari picked up the pan holding the rest of the cake and caught Gaara's gaze. He nodded, and they rose together, heading off to Temari's room. Which, consequently, was right next to Kankurou's room. She vaguely wondered if he owned any ear plugs, then quickly decided that she hoped he didn't. It would serve him right…

Once they'd gotten to Temari's room and the door had shut, Gaara's lips were immediately upon hers, the cake hastily set on the bed to be used later. When she'd started cooking that day, she had never imagined this would happen. It was certainly a nice twist of events though. As she rationalized, such a strange family should have equally unconventional relationships. Definitely kept things interesting.

As tongues explored and clothes were flung around randomly, Temari managed to have one last coherent thought…

She'd definitely have to make cake more often.