If I Die Tomorrow


IMBSA: 'Ello minna-san! This is a songfic that I hope is good. Please be nice when you review.

Disclaimer: You don't need to wear a patch on your arm to have honor.

IMBSA: Don't ask me where I got Edward from. Oh, and the song is "If I Die Tomorrow" by Motley Crue. Enjoy!


An inhuman wail broke the silence of a low-end New York apartment complex, emanating from number 203. The sound repeated itself, reaching a pitch once thought impossible before fading away.

Edward Ramius held onto his precious daughter's hand as she struggled to live through what was happening. Her water had broken at least four hours prior and she had gone into labor soon after. There had been no time to rush her to the hospital. And even if there was, it wasn't like he had insurance for this type of thing. So his offspring was left to endure unspeakable pain. But Murrue was no stranger to such agony.

I wake up to find myself

After all these years

Edward tried as hard as he could to soothe her and himself as his only daughter gave birth to his only grandchild.

He remembered the night Murrue had come to find him and showed up on his doorstep. She had looked so lost and frightened that Edward forgot that they hadn't spoken for more than ten years, and immediately gave her as much shelter as he could, though he barely had enough for himself.

And where all the time has gone

Still seems so unclear

When she found out that she was pregnant, she had offered to leave and find someplace else, to avoid burdening him any longer. Edward had gently and firmly insisted that she stay. She was still his baby after all and he had promised at her birth that he would take care of her. Always.

That night was the night she told him about Mwu.

'Cause there's no one else

Since I found you

Edward hung on tightly as another wave of pain wracked Murrue's body, making her fragile frame shudder violently. He knew she was going through Hell.

I know it's been so hard

And you should know

The pain forced all thoughts from the young woman's consciousness except for one: the memory of the night before Mwu's death.

If I die tomorrow

Truly, that night was the cause of all the torture she was experiencing. They had lain for at least an hour in a lover's embrace before breaking apart to rest in a less intimate position. But that night, Mwu had broached the subject Murrue feared above all: his battle the next day.

As the minutes fade away


"I love you, d'you know that?" Mwu whispered in her ear, causing shivers of pleasure to run through her body. She giggled, uncharacteristically giddy. Seeing that he was serious, though, she sobered.

"Of course I do. And I love you. Why?"

Mwu shrugged and looked away.

I can't remember

Have I said, all I can say

"I wanted to make sure you knew."

Murrue tilted her head to the side. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Dunno. Just thought I'd ask."

"It's something more. Tell. Now." She propped her head up on her fist.

Mwu sighed and turned back to her, hand moving to grasp her hip. "Tomorrow….It'll be a helluva fight. I know it. We war heroes have a knack for sensing things like that." His attempt at humor fell flat as Murrue shook her head, pulling away. "Murrue—"

"No. Talk about something else. Anything but that."

You're my everything

You make me feel so alive

Mwu's expression went pained. "Just…remember, ok? Remember that I love you. Forever."

If I die tomorrow

(end flashback)

And he had died the next day.

It brings out the worst in me

When you're not around

Mouth hoarse, body aching, Murrue felt the darkness at the corners of her eyes closing in on her. Suddenly the pain was numbed, slowly fading away. She scarcely registered her father guiding a baby's head from between her legs. She barely took notice of her blood, the red substance that sustained her life pouring out of her. All she saw was a transfixing form glowing with yellow light. All she heard was a sweet voice calling to her, ringing in her ears.

I missed the sound of your voice

The silence seemed so loud

Edward had finished cleaning his grand-baby—a son—up as best he could when he noticed his daughter lying still and silent, eyes unfocused and glassy, face a peaceful mask.

Clutching the baby to himself as though he would die, he knelt, extending his fore and middle fingers forward to feel the pulse at her throat. That action confirmed what paternal instinct had screamed at him mere moments before. In the effort to give the little boy in his arms life, that of his mother's had to be exchanged. One or the other had had to die and Murrue chose a death to breathe life into her son.

That was so like his daughter.

I spent all my life

Looking for our innocence

Edward wanted to kill himself. Before the divorce, Murrue had been his little princess. He had been there every step of the way. Her first birthday, her first Christmas, first bike ride, first ballet recital (plus all of the ones after that, as well as the practices)…. There was not one moment in the beginning of her life he was not there.

I've got nothing to lose

He would have committed suicide to join his daughter….But then he looked at the tiny parcel in his arms. Bright blue-brown eyes, rimmed with sandy blond eyelashes stared back at him. His nose and mouth were Murrue's, and something in those eyes, some type of gentleness about them, carried a likeness of her within them.

Nothing to prove

He couldn't abandon him. Somehow, he felt an obligation to the child. Murrue had silently given her son to him, pleading with him to give the boy all the love, protection, and care he had given her.

I won't make the same mistakes

How could he refuse?

Now I know

That everything will be okay

Strengthened by his resolve, he gazed at his newborn grandson, wordlessly swearing to be as loving to him as he had been to Murrue. Because he saw that they were the same.

He turned to Murrue's body and slowly closed her eyes, repeating the words he'd tucked her in with every night for the first 16 years of her life.

If I die tomorrow

"Good night Murrue. Remember, I love you. Forever."


IMBSA: I wrote that up at, like, midnight, so I won't blame you if you don't like it. But…please be nice….Oh, and Wandering Cat, I WILL take you up on your challenge...SOON.