Spoilers: Up until "Control"
Disclaimer: You know I don't own it! I play.
Author's Note: Sorry to all who expected something…uh…more…I can't write the good stuff. Sorry. I have no problem at all with it. I just can't do it. I get that boom-chicka-wow-wow soundtrack going on in my head and I can't picture House and Cameron to that! I know this chapter may seem slightly out of character, but I couldn't help it. The idea just came to me.
To all who love Wilson: I am currently contemplating a Wilson-centric fic. I love writing him!
To Val'istar En' Alu: YESSSS! My first stalker! Whoo-hoo! LOL
To Patricia L. Bryans: MOG! (My new catchphrase.)
All Bets Are Off
Six days later…Friday at work
"Something is up."
"Up with House," clarified Foreman. "He's been… nice lately."
"Yeah, I've noticed too," said Chase. "He hasn't played his yo-yo at all this week."
"He's answering his own mail."
"He's only played his Gambeoy twice—3 days apart!"
"But he still watches his General Hospital every day," Cameron commented entering the room.
Both men looked at her. "I saw him talking to a patient yesterday. A non crazy patient," said Foreman.
"Well, every now and then he does see someone," she said.
"It wasn't even his patient!"
She sighed and suppressed a smile. "Sorry guys, I don't see much difference." She went to go fix herself a cup of coffee.
Foreman turned back to Chase. "You know what? I bet he's finally found a girl."
"House get a girlfriend? No way."
"It has to be. Why else would he be so mellow unless he was getting laid?"
Cameron choked on her coffee. Foreman turned around to look at her. "You would know."
"What makes you say that?"
"With your little schoolgirl crush you're always following him around like a lost puppy. You have to have noticed something."
"Sorry, can't say that I have." She went to add more milk to her coffee when House entered the conference room. "Good morning, little ones."
He wandered over to the coffee station and stood next to Cameron while the men quietly discussed his dating status.
She leaned over and whispered to him, "I think they finally figured it out. They think you have a girlfriend."
"Oh really," he whispered back. He glanced over his shoulder. "Are you ready to blow their minds?"
"Well, I'd rather blow—"
"Hey hey hey! Don't start with that talk, missy. Otherwise we won't get to have our fun here… Well, it would be fun, but… Just shut up and go back over there."
She giggled as she walked away. House sighed. She really did have a dirty mind for such a presentable woman.
Cameron went over and stood next to Foreman. "So. Do you still get that tummy ache whenever you're around him," he asked with a smirk.
"You know, now that you mention it, my stomach doesn't feel right. Dr. House? Could you come here for a minute?"
"What's up," he said, limping over.
"Foreman noticed I wasn't feeling well again. I have this weird ache in my stomach. Any idea what it could be?"
"Hmm. Let me see." He placed on hand on the small of her back and started to palpate her stomach with the other. "Ahh."
"What," she said with mock nervousness. "Is it dangerous?"
"Nope. We diagnosticians call it 'hot for your boss' syndrome."
"Is it serious?"
"Only if it goes untreated."
"Well, what kind of treatment is there?"
"Hot, dirty sex with your boss every 2-6 hours as needed until cured."
"Is that it? Whew. I feel better already!"
"We can start the treatment in about 10 minutes. I think room 211 is empty. We can work there."
"Great," she said, smiling as her pager went off. "Well, I have to go see a patient first. See you in a bit. Hi, Dr. Wilson," she said, passing him as she walked out.
"Hi, everybody," he said, standing in the doorway. "Did I miss anything?"
"You have no idea," Chase said, bewildered.
"Well, I have to go set up to see a patient, so I will catch you all later," House said. "James. How's it going?"
Wilson looked at Foreman and Chases' shocked faces and said to House, "You didn't?"
"I did. Sort of."
"You scarred them for life and left them to figure it out on their own?"
"God, you're sick."
"No. Just creative."
He patted him on the shoulder. "See you later."
Wilson walked into the room to talk to Chase and Foreman. "So, what happened?"
"The most disturbing thing ever," Chase answered.
"Has everyone here gone on drugs," Foreman asked.
"Oh, you mean you guys didn't know?"
They both looked at Wilson as it dawned on them.
"No, no way!"
"You can't be serious!"
Wilson laughed as both men looked extremely uncomfortable. "Yes. Last week. It's official."
Foreman sighed. "Why am I the last to know anything?"
"Don't feel so bad. I don't think Cuddy knows yet."
"But anyway," Wilson continued, "pay up. A hundred bucks a piece."
House and Cameron lay on the bed in 211, laughing. "Their faces were priceless! I would have paid to see a reaction like that."
"I wish we had a camera with us," he replied. "That was classic." Then he felt his pager go off. "Eh, it's just Wilson."
Cameron handed him the phone from the bedside and he dialed Wilson's office. "What?"
"You still have to work with Chase and Foreman, you do know that?"
"Come on. You can't tell me that wasn't priceless."
Wilson chuckled. "They did look stupefied."
"You didn't happen to have a camera with you?"
"Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks. I won $200 bucks on you two."
"Chase and Foreman both bet me a hundred each that you would never go for Cameron."
"And you being the genius that you are…"
"Saw it coming a mile away. You just needed a little push."
"Shove is a better word," Cameron chimed in. House looked at her. "What? Wilson is loud." She grabbed the phone from him. "Speaking of money, you owe me fifty bucks yourself."
"We're in room 211 as we speak."
"I expect payment by the afternoon." She handed the phone back to House.
"What was that about," he asked Wilson.
"I bet Cameron that you guys would christen the hospital in the clinic. She said in a regular room."
House covered the mouthpiece and said to her, "So I guess we shouldn't tell him that we still have our clothes on?"
"Hell, no! Fifty bucks is fifty bucks!"
"I learned from the best," she said, giving him a wink.