Alchemy, Officers, and Contests

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. If I did, I wouldn't say so.

WARNING: Havoc may show a bit of OOCness in this chapter.

Episode ONE

The Colonel, His Subordinates, and a Bowl of Noodles

The office had been silent. Too silent. Everyone had been working. Too working. A stack of papers fell to the ground. Too papers. -SLAP- (if you've seen all of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies, you would get it) Havoc ruffled his hair and stood up from his desk, about ready to go mad from boredom. He picked up the papers and Roy looked up from his files.

"There a problem, Havoc?" he asked.

"Yes, there's a problem!" Havoc answered, and everyonethought the problem was Havoc (and his OOCness). "we've been working nonstop for four days! The only time we got up to leave was to get coffee!"

"Hm, the Lieutenant has a point there, Colonel," Hawkeye said. "it's bad for anyone's health to keep working on reports for days, even if they want to do it."

"You're right. . ." Roy nodded to himself. "maybe we should" he was interrupted by the ringing of the phone. He picked it up. "Colonel Mustang speaking." there was a bit of a silence, and all the officers could hear was the muffled sounds of the person in the phone, and Roy going 'Mm-hm.' He finally hung up.

"What about it, Sir?" Breda asked.

"There has been a murder down at the restaurant a few blocks away. We have to investigate." the colonel answered. Havoc leapt up, and raced out the door, cheering and yelling like Tarzan.

"Are we there yet?"


"Are we there yet?"


"Are we there yet?"

"For the love of God, Havoc, no!" Roy yelled. The car broke down, so he and his subordinates had to walk there.

"I think we're lost." Havoc said. The group looked around the place they were at: the ground was nothing but sand, the air was hot, and several vultures flew above, circling the officers. "you have a bad sense of direction, Colonel."

"Shut up."

The group arrived at the scene of the crime, a restaurant that was actually down the road from headquarters.

"This is the culprit." an officer stood by the stool covered in a black cloth. He took it down, and everyone gasped.

"A bowl of noodles?" Roy asked.

"The victim was eating this, and choked on a noodle, and apparently died. We will be judging it at court this evening. I want you and your men to keep watch and make sure it doesn't get away."

Roy and his officers stood in a room with the bowl of noodles on a table.

"This is stupid. Who is stupid enough to choke on a noodle?" Havoc asked. He leaned on a chair.

"-cough-Probably-cough-you-cough-" Hawkeye coughed. "but whoever it is, I sure feel sorry for the guy."

"Doesn't Fullmetal like noodles?" Fury asked. Everyone blinked.

"He's on a mission at Lior, isn't he?" Falman said. The group nodded.

"Besides, he's smart enough not to choke on a noodle," Roy said. "I think."

A few minutes passed with silence, and Havoc fell asleep, his head fell to the table with a loud bang. The noodles lightly shook.

A few hours later, a guard walked in.

"We shall be taking it to court." he said.

At the court, the judge was talking.

"For the 'murder' of an innocent victim, I sentence thee to execution!" the man pounded his desk, and the people started talking. In ran a young familiar blond boy.

"So I can finish the noodles?" he asked. The judge nodded, and the boy gobbled up what was in the bowl.

"Finish?" Hawkeye asked.

"Is that Fullmetal?" Fury blinked.

"He's the murdered victim?" Breda asked.

"ZOMBIE!" Havoc screamed.

Yep. It is strange. I'm too hyper to be sane. Review. I'm gonna go eat some sugar. And stare at Roy all day. I have over. . .a lot of pictures of him on my desktop. . .