(A/N: Anyone who has read anything by her will know that your Duchess cannot resist the temptation to pimp. Which is why, this week, I am offering for your delectation, all defenceless and trembling, the epitome of culture that is The Hogwarts Tinies. You may find the illustrations so far here:
strangehours. com/ portfolio/ papergashlyindex. html
That is, if you're clever enough to remove the spaces from the link and put the old http thingy in front..)

Chapter 9: This Town Ain't Big Enough For The Both Of Us

The scene was a barren plain just outside Hogwarts, stretching from horizon to horizon in depressing and philosophical emptiness. Although, if a cowboy with a particularly keen eye would have passed by, he might have discerned two tiny figures, standing at a distance of 25 paces from each other, left of the only tree on this bare speck of earth. He might have been forgiven for not noticing the third person, who, in a rare attack of common sense, was standing in the shade of the tree, where he blended in with the black of the shadows completely. At present, this third person, who happened to be Severus Snape, was looking incredibly bored.

"Hurry up." He said to his companions. "I've already been waiting twenty minutes for you to start this imbecilic duel, and I'd like to be able to make it back for supper." Out in the field, the duellists paid him absolutely no heed whatsoever, as they were absorbed in building up tension.

A desolate tune whistled out across the field, as Don L, who was one of the duellists, very slowly reached up and took his decorative cigarette from his mouth. With agonisingly small puffs he let the smoke escape from his lips, before coughing as softly and carelessly as he could manage. From 25 paces away, El Lupin took three minutes to move his right foot two inches forward. Having taking a pause to let the music build up, Don L narrowed his eyes threateningly. In return, El Lupin straightened his back.

Beneath the Whomping Willow, Snape groaned in agony. "Get on with it, you idiots!" he shouted at them. Neither of the caballeros listened. Instead, they began to move their right hand towards their hip at a speed of approximately a millimetre per minute. Snape looked on in utter boredom. Then, an eerie silence fell, and without warning, Don L turned and ran away as quick as he could, squealing. El Lupin stood frozen with surprise, but Snape just sighed. "Happens every time." he said to himself, and walked back to Hogwarts.