Disclaimer: I own nothing, though not much to own in this short fic.
Author's Note: This isn't a big fic, just something to get people aware of important issues. Please R&R, but most of all, choose your actions as though they were your last.
One moment is all it takes, to ruin a life and to take a life. Anyone can spend years building a respectable life only to have it snatched away in a moment. One moment can change a lifetime of hopes, of dreams, of well being. Most people never know when this moment will come, and regrets, whether the victim or the guilty one, won't do anything. I found out the hard way.
Of course I knew that all actions had consequences, but when you don't have control over your actions, things can go very wrong. Catherine approached my hospital bed, her face unreadable. She came up next to me and slapped my face as hard as she could. I didn't mind, I wouldn't have minded if she killed me right then and there, at least then I could apologize to Sara.
"Nick you god damn idiot!" She yelled at my face.
I didn't move, I couldn't bear to look at her. I had murdered someone tonight. Nothing anyone said could change my guilt level. It couldn't get higher, and would never go down.
It had been a long double shift for the both of us, but we had wrapped up the robbery/murder case after days of frustration. The suspect would be going away for a long time, and our spirits were high, despite our lack of sleep.
"Feel like celebrating?" I asked Sara.
She shrugged, "Why not?"
"Okay, what do you want?"
"There's a friendly bar a little ways from here," Sara suggested. I eyed her suspiciously, but she laughed, patting my shoulder, "Don't worry Nick, I'll be good." I smiled at her and agreed.
"All right, I'll take care of you."
She kept her promise; I just wish I kept mine.
Catherine had nothing else to say to me, and she left like a storm. Warrick came in next, my heart nowhere to be found. Warrick had a few gambling problems, but he never crossed the line from stupid to illegal. His look was grave, but a little more sympathetic. I shook my head.
"It was just a stupid mistake,"
"Nick," he croaked, "It was no mistake." I couldn't believe he told me that. Yes, it was the truth, but it sounded so harsh, then again, so did the thought of killing a close friend.
Everything was going fine at the bar, until Sara got a little light headed. Thinking I was being so noble, I offered to take her home. I thought I was fine, but drinking will make you think crazy things like that.
The light was red, but I wasn't watching it, I was laughing with Sara, not a care in the world. Sara saw it coming. She yelled as we crossed the road the same time as a black truck. I over corrected and instead of running head on into the truck, wrapped the passenger side of my car around a traffic light.
I saw her eyes grow round, before slipping into blackness.
"Where's Grissom," I asked as calmly as I could.
"I don't know," He said shaking his head. "Why?"
"He'll never get his chance with her." I said with so much remorse.
"No thanks to you," He replied bitterly. I nodded. "Nick," he looked directly at me. "Sara is dead, and tomorrow you will go to jail."
"One little thing ruined it all, Warrick. It wasn't supposed to be like this."
"It doesn't take much," He wisely stated.
"But this is only one event of an uncountable amount that hurt so many people."
"Nothing will be the same."
Later in the night Grissom stopped by. I was ashamed of myself, so I pretended to be asleep. A reluctant Catherine followed him in and they met up with Warrick who had agreed to watch me for the night. Grissom did not ask about me, he acted as though the three of them were talking in the break room over coffee. The break room. I'll never get to share memories in it again.
"We're all moving back to the same shift," Grissom stated. We'd be too small, being each a member short." Catherine and Warrick nodded silently.
"So stupid," Catherine said.
"We all try to achieve one positive action in life, but sometimes our dreams our ended too quickly be one moment."
I found it interesting at how Grissom could always say something so powerful, even in the gravest of situations.
He continued, "We lost two good people today, and nothing will bring them back." I couldn't take it anymore.
"I'm not dead," I said. Grissom didn't look up but replied,
"You both died as soon as you picked up the keys to drive."
The group left me in the dark, to talk elsewhere. Why would they talk in front of me? They didn't have conversations in front of suspects, so how am I different?
Being on the other side of the law was unbearable. I wouldn't be in jail forever, but it didn't change the fact that guilt would be there forever. I hurt so many people, but most of all, Sara Sidle and Nick Stokes are dead. I killed them.