Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. None of the events in this story happened other than Itsuki's suicide, Itsuki and Mutsuki participating in the Crimson Sacrifice and Mio entering the storehouse. Mutsuki and Itsuki DID have a very close bond which I believe is the reason the ritual failed. Their love was TOO strong and upset the Hellish Abyss. Anyway….Enjoy! The Final Goodbye
The Final Goodbye
You never realized did you? You never awoke to my gentle kisses or soft, loving words. Half of me wished for you to stay asleep, to keep my secret but the other half…well, lets just say it wished for more than what we had.
I never realized how much I loved you Mutsuki until the ritual. I still remember that day all too clearly. The feel of your warm pulsing flesh under my hands, the rhythmic stamping of the priests' staves, everything is embedded in my mind forever.
I never wished for you, my beloved brother, to leave me. Now I stay up during the long night hours, crying. I miss the feeling of you next to me. I want to hear you whisper sweet nothings into my ear once more. I can never go back though. Those times are gone forever now.
You were the strong one. No matter what anyone ever thought. You were always there to comfort me. I miss your loving embrace more than anything. More than a broken winged bird misses the freedom of flight. More than a grandmother misses her childhood. I want it back more than anything because nothing can replace you. I miss the warmth of your body pressed against mine. I want you back more than I wish to be free from my cell.
I can no longer look into the mirror. Deep down inside of me I fear seeing you in my reflection. Though we are no longer identical (My hair turned white after the ritual) I still see your laughing, smiling face in the lines and sorrow on my face. As much as I love you Mutsuki, I could not bear seeing you again. How can you forgive me my brother? I killed you. How can you ever forgive me? I killed you with my own hands!
Everything that was dear to me I lost on that day. My brother, my love and my soul mate were lost. You, Mutsuki, I believe were everyone one of those. Did you ever notice my longing gaze? Or did you see it and choose to ignore it? Could you ever love me more than a brother? Did you ever question that we had something more than just the bond of a twin?
When the priest bent over and whispered in my ear. He asked if I needed help to suck the life from your lungs with my own hands. Despite the fact I said no, I really did need help. If I had a choice I would have let everyone die to keep you in my arms. I would have done anything for just one more night even. As the tears spilled down my cheeks and onto your body, and my body shook I believed this was all one horrible dream. I believed, no, I knew our ritual would work. We loved each other, right? You would return to me in the form of the crimson butterfly. We would become one with each other, the greatest honor of all.
This is my confession Mutsuki…Our ritual failed because of me. My feelings condemned us, made us unable to become one. My darling Mutsuki, Ashiteru. I love you more than I should, more than a brother. I harbor these feelings that are forbidden. I am sorry Mutsuki…I didn't mean for my love to cause our ritual to fail. I didn't mean for you to suffer like that without a reason, my darling Mutsuki.
I can no longer live with these feelings. These feelings I finally realized on the eve of your death. I realized and understood them too late though. There is no need to worry though Mutsuki, I am coming. We will meet on the other side. I can feel it. Please, if you can, forgive me for what I did. Forgive me before we meet once more. Forgive me if you can…
Mio slowly opened the door to the storehouse. She wondered why the white-haired boy was no longer staring out longingly through the barred window. Her flashlight caught the boy and she ran towards him. Her camera raised and she took one picture to make sure she was not seeing things. He disappeared before she even lowered her camera. He wasn't real…He was gone now.
She slowly looked around the room, flashlight bouncing off the hinges and broken lock on the cell door. Beyond the cell door though, the room was empty. Mio moved closer, hand reaching to open the door to explore the cell. Maybe he was there. Maybe the boy had hid when she entered and the picture she took was wishful thinking.
The door slowly opened and Mio glanced around for any signs of the boy. Disappointed in finding nothing she slowly entered the room. A thick layer of dust and rubble covered the entire room, making it look like no one had been here in years. The only movement in the room was a threadbare noose that hung near the window. The gently breeze caused it to sway back and fourth giving it an eerie, malevolent look.
Upon moving closer, Mio notice something flittering in the breeze underneath the noose. An old diary with a page book marked with a small pebble. Her slender hand reached down as she tenderly picked up the yellow-paged old book. She removed the pebble and slowly began to read the diary.
Tears streamed down her face as she read the confession letter.
"A final goodbye," She sobbed, sniffling. She wiped her cheeks and nose on her sleeve as she stood. "The pain must have been too much…" She whispered as her eyes slowly turned to the noose. "It must have been so hard to hold in all that pain."
Itsuki watched from the hole in the floor of the barricaded upper level of the storehouse.
"You will soon feel the pain," Itsuki sighed before turning to his brother. Mutsuki gave a soft smile before opening his arms to his sibling. Itsuki jumped into his brother's arms and hugged him tightly.
"Aishiteru…" Mutsuki whispered into his brother's ear. They slowly began to fade away, together.