A/N: For all Beast Boy/Terra fans out there, this is one of the saddest things I've ever written, so get the box of tissues. Please, if you read, leave a review. Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. However, do try and speak properly. Reviews of "OMG dat waz so good! I luved it! gr8 job! BB/Terra 4 EVAH!" give me a headache. RyokoJesse knows how I feel. This is a song-fic to "Think of Me" from Andrew Lloyd Webber's "The Phantom of the Opera" I recommend highly that, if you have the means, you download the piano only instrumental version of this song and listen to it when reading. It ups the effect.
I own nothing related to Teen Titans or Phantom of the Opera
A single rose. That's all he had brought with him this time around: a solitary red rose to be set aside the concrete rose that it was for. It had its thorns, just like she did, but the beauty was dominant... That everlasting beauty that would thrive when taken care of and wilt when abandoned. He could feel the tears fighting their way forward as he set the rose down on the base of the stone, framing the top of the plaque. "Terra. A Teen Titan. A True Friend."
Think of me
Think of me fondly
When we've said goodbye
Beast Boy gazed up at her frozen and unmoving form, her arms stretched out to her sides as she looked up to a point somewhere in the sky, eyes looking out into the never-ending solitude that would bestow itself upon her. It had been three months since that fateful day: the day when her true colors arose and she jumped off of the swing she had always been on, right into his arms… and her death.
The swing was her life: a swing on which she once sat, stationary and alone… unwanted by the world and without a home to go to. Then, she met him, and on that glorious day the swing began to move as Beast Boy pushed her forward into delight, joy, and the one experience that had never had yet the chance to feel: love.
Once in a while
Please, promise me you'll try
But he pushed her a little too hard when she had thought he'd betrayed her secret to his team, and as he disappeared from sight, someone else took control of her movements. Slade. He pushed her harshly, making it harder and harder for her to hang on. It was nothing like when Beast Boy would move her, gently and caring, making sure she felt safe and at home. But Slade was different. He kept her on the swing and kept her moving, but at a price… she no longer had the green changeling by her side.
Beast Boy tried many futile attempts to stop Slade from taking control of the swing and from taking control of her. But by the time he'd succeeded, she was already slipping off, unstable and frightened. If he had gotten to her sooner—if she'd have allowed herself to take control—he could have saved her. By the time Beast Boy pushed Slade out of the way, it was too late. She had fallen off.
When you find
That once again you long
To take your heart back and be free
If you ever find a moment
Spare a thought for me
"Terra…" he whispered, looking down at the ground. "I'm sorry..."
He didn't care anymore. He didn't care that it seemed weak of him, a teenage superhero, to cry. He let the tears fall, not bothering to wipe them away and letting them run their course down his cheeks, marking the ground with miniscule circles.
"I'm sorry I couldn't save you…" he said, his voice barely audible and almost haunting in the stone cold cave. "I should have… if there was anything I could have done…"
He felt his knees hit the ground as they gave way, grief rendering him unable to stand on his own two feet. It should have been over for him by now. He should have been able to forget about her by now, but he couldn't… and he had a strange feeling that he never would.
We never said
Our love was evergreen
Or as unchanging as the sea
But if you can still remember
Stop and think of me
"I-I… I miss you so much Terra… and I know I shouldn't…" he continued, shutting his eyes against the pain and sorrow that grew in his heart with each passing moment. "I shouldn't feel this way… Not after so long… B-but—"
Finding strength from somewhere inside, he pulled himself to his feet and walked over to her stagnant body.
"I just can't stand it… I can't stand living without you…" he told her, wishing that by some miracle she would be able to respond. He wanted so badly to hold her in his arms, to feel the rhythmic beating of her heart, to hold her hand and walk with her, comfort her in her sorrow and laugh with her in her joy. But it was impossible. Raven had laid it out as gently as she could to him: there was no way to bring her back. No medical cure on Tamaran, Azarath, or Earth could ever restore what was once the greatest and worst thing that had ever happened to him.
"I can't help—I can't stop thinking about what could have been…" he admitted guiltily, wishing she could hear him.
Think of all the things we've shared and seen
Don't think about the way things might have been…
Anger and desperation took control of him as he brought his fists down onto the rock that she stood on, feeling as the skin broke under his gloves, unflinching as he felt a trickle of blood soak the inside. He didn't care. There was no existing physical pain that he could ever go through that would come close to matching the pain in his heart and soul. A desperate sorrow that ran so deep he felt that death would be a pleasure and privilege beyond his comprehension… at least, then he would be with her.
But he would never do such a thing. He could never end his life, and she was the reason why. He had nothing keeping him alive except for the knowledge that she would want him to go on, to live life and fight crime with his friends. To stop others from manipulating and confusing defenseless people like herself, making them betray the ones they loved out of a blind rage that was never really there… A rage falsely planted in her mind by Slade that turned her into a beautiful disaster.
Think of me
Think of me waking
Silent and resigned
"I know I never got a chance to t-tell you, Terra," he began, standing on the stone so that his face would be level with what hers used to be. "But it's time I c-came out with it…"
He tried to pretend he was looking into her eyes, but how could he? Where there used to be a deep, ocean blue there was now gray. Where long tresses of silky blonde hair once flowed in the wind there were now locks of stone. Where perfectly shaped lips used to smile, ones that he had once come so close to kissing, there was concrete. He sniffed gently as he cupped her stone-cold cheek with his hand.
"I love you, Terra…" he whispered, then placing a soft kiss to her once warm lips, feeling the nothing but the cold granite underneath his own. Defeat staring him in the face, he collapsed to the ground, his breathing shallow as he tried to stop the ominous waterfall of tears.
Trying too hard
To put you from my mind
A warm breeze swept around the inside of the cave, messing up his green hair slightly as chills ran up his spine from the sudden change and thrill. He stopped, his eyes relaxed and closed as an unfamiliar and inviting sense of peace took over him. He felt his body standing up of its own accord… Where he got the strength to do so, he would never know.He turned around.
A soft light cast a heavenly glow on the walls of the cave, bouncing off them and changing the atmosphere all on its own. There she was, her long blonde hair rippling in a non-existent wind. Through her, he could see the opposite wall of the cave as a translucent hand reached out to him slowly. She was sitting on a swing, the handles of which disappeared into the ceiling as he looked upwards, rocking back and forth softly. He didn't even realize that he had been holding his breath until he let it all out in a soft sigh. She smiled at him.
Nodding her head slightly, she stood up from the swing, not bothering to look back as it disappeared into thin air, and walked towards him. Beast Boy wasn't even aware of the two tears that had found their way out of his eyes, marking paths down his face.
Recall those days
Think back on all those times
Think of the things we'll never do
"Why did you have to go?" he asked her, reaching out to hold her hand, his heart falling as his fingers slipped through hers. "You left me… you left me once, twice… and now… forever…"
She frowned at him, a soft tear sliding down her cheek. He made to brush it off, but his mortal hand still had no effect.
"Come back," he whispered, looking away from her. "Please… come back."
She shook her head sadly, silently telling him what he already knew deep down inside: it was impossible. He sniffed, wiping his face with the back of his glove.
"I never got t-to kiss you… I never told you how I felt… I-I… love you…"
There will never be a day
When I won't think of you
He looked at her just in time to watch her mouth form the last words he would ever hear her say. A ghostly and pleasing voice, an almost inaudible echo spoke. But it didn't come from her… it came from inside him, reverberating through his body and filling the dark and melancholy corners of his mind and soul.
"I love you too… I always had, and I always will…"
The chance had not yet slipped away. Beast Boy walked forward slightly as Terra's spirit did the same, her eyes closing as she put her hands on her shoulders… And he felt them… He felt her hands on his body as though they were real. Slowly, he lowered his face to hers, their lips meeting for the first and last time…
And unlike the concrete that he had attempted to kiss moments earlier, her lips were warm… As warm as real lips could have been if she had really been there. For a brief minute of his life, he wrapped his arms around her, this time able to hold onto her soft and small figure, the kiss as light and tender as it could have been.
The fruits of summer fade
They have their seasons, so do we
But the feel of her hands on his shoulders began to disappear…
His arms lost their place as what they held on to began to fade…
And the warmth of her lips on his died away…
Stepping away from him, she smiled at him softly, her mouth forming words that he was only lucky enough to understand.
With a small wave of her hand, the same warm wind that had brought her to him took her away, the breeze making a sound that almost resembled her voice, whispering 'thank you.' Though he wanted her back now more than ever, he knew it was more than he could have ever asked for. He had been granted his last few moments of goodbye by an angel. The tears that fell continued to do so, even after he had walked back into Titan's tower. "What's wrong?" they had all asked him, and he replied truthfully:
"Nothing… nothing at all…"
Though he knew he would never fully recover, his heart filled itself with love that day, pushing sorrow into a small corner. Yes, the grief was still there… and it always would be. Beast Boy would never forget Terra. He would think of her every day of his life until the day he died. But she would never be gone. He would love her always, and she would always be with him, watching over him as he got in trouble with his latest pranks, laughing at his jokes no matter how cheesy they were… And loving him. Here, "'till death do us part" did not apply, for a love like theirs could never be broken…
And it never was...
But please promise me that sometimes…
You will think of me…