The Sense in Pointlessness
Disclaimer: I don't own SD boys, Inoue does. The events that follow are not included in the original plot but enjoy anyway.
Summary: Find out why pointlessness is better than things that have meaning. RuHana. One shot.
A/N: this is the 2nd Ruhana fic I wrote and I swear to God the first one sucks; if it weren't for the effort put to it, along with my narcissism, I would've erased it long ago. But since there's the effort the crap is still in existence. Anyway, I don't know a lot of people on this site who like HanaRu-RuHana so I'll just make a point of dedicating this to Wowie. Enjoy my dears…
What does one mean when he says 'almost pointless'? It's not exactly 'definitely pointless', but it's more than being 'near pointless'; so in essence, 'almost pointless' is like being 'purely pointless' but isn't enough to be interchanged with it and also isn't as less as to be considered 'not pointless at all'. So when I say it's 'almost pointless' it feels as if saying it's just 'slightly pointless.' I can never get it right in thinking, let alone writing. I know. But I can feel it when something is almost pointless. It doesn't feel right when it gets there but it doesn't feel so wrong either. It's just neutral. Like if someone you hate borrows your bike, it feels pointless. But if you get to listen to his excuses it swings further away from pointlessness. Probably because he makes a good job of convincing you that he needs the bike so fucking badly. So it's pointless to begrudge him the bike and it makes more sense if you just let him borrow it and not feel strange at all. So by choosing the latter I become sensible and he, the one who borrows my bike, becomes the almost pointless one.
And why do I feel that it's pointless if Sakuragi borrows my bike? There are plenty of obvious reasons for that alone and it's just pointless to reel them all out here. The guy hates me, and that's it. Nothing less, though there's probably more. At practice games he has to go through a lot of puppy-eyed persuasions where he kneels halfway down in front of Akagi, the way people propose to other people, just not to be teamed up with me. And as if that weren't enough he would have to play dirty just to let the whole goddamn team know that he hates me. And he hates me for whatever fucking reason there is; as if I were the kind who'd cry his heart out on his pillow at bedtime just because stupid people like Sakuragi hate him. In another level, this hatred is almost like a relief to the tension. He hates me and I hate him and that perfects the equilibrium. I imagine it would've been worse, if it could be any worse, if Sakuragi likes me and I hate him or vice versa. I can only thank the heavens that it's just impossible to happen. Me? Like Sakuragi? Over my dead, handsome body.
But why the hell does he keep on turning to me whenever he needs a ride? For Pete's sake, am I the only one who owns a glamorous bike in this damned town? I'm not exactly a selfish guy, unless we talk about the hard court. I can lend anyone my bike; hell I regularly lend it to Sakuragi, the most obnoxious animal in the world. Hence, the pointlessness of all of it. But lately I just discovered one thing that, so to speak, kinda changed my whole perspective with regard to the matter: THE BASTARD WAS USING MY BIKE TO DATE THE BITCH! I saw them cruising it down through the streets with cheap smiles on their faces, like they have just been through something they only know about or something. His usual pretext is and always has been: 'I need to pick something up from the store' or 'I need to catch my lunch fast' or 'I'm running an errand' et cetera; stuff that reeks of bullshit but surprisingly convincing if only because he makes that stupid face. Now, why haven't I thought of it before? He's in love with her; he's declared it to anyone who'd care to listen and wouldn't he just score cool points if he drops by at her front door throned on Kaede Rukawa's bike? And this girl, who the hell does she think she is? I don't remember including her name in the contract. And Sakuragi, fuck Sakuragi for everything he does for this Akagi girl. Hell, I don't even know her first name.
Repeated ploys don't work; I told that myself a hundred times already. But when he just swings by like that and begins to knock on the door, the sequence of events just pours in and he leaves with my bike under his ass, as always. I can't find any nifty argument why he should lose his rights over the vehicle; I can't tell him to stop dating the girl, can I? That would've sounded pretty silly. But for this is worth, the role this girl plays in my suffering puts a stop to all the pointlessness of this bike-borrowing episodes. It clears the question of Sakuragi having a particular purpose of needing the bike. Was it a good thing that the activity has become less pointless? Of course not! It's a bad thing because…because it's just BAD. It's bad that he would have to fucking lie to me and make a fool of me for a GIRL! Now how shallow is that? He would've done better by scratching my tires to go to Pachinko's, to fish, or to drink, anything…but to go out with somebody on MY bike is just unthinkable. Or with somebody else, for that matter.
This is it, the honesty part. I'm at the point of re-swallowing everything I said, including that bit about Sakuragi going to hell. I ain't the kind who'd cry his heart out on his pillow at bedtime; yeah I said that proudly once, twice, the whole week, I can't recall. But it feels like I will be wetting my damned pillow for it, not to mention tears are falling NOW. I'll let them roll down on my face freely for the time being until they dry out, so when I pull myself to the covers later there'll be no more tears to squeeze out. And I'll be true to my word that I wouldn't cry my heart out on the pillow. But I'm still fucked, for as long as he keeps it steady with that bitch, and-
Ding dong…ding dong…
'Hey, Rukawa! Are you in? Are you alive?'
Sakuragi. He's here at 4:30 as usual to fetch the bike. Damn it. Jesus, has he ever heard of the phrase 'letting anyone in peace just for one fucking moment'? But what's the point? He equally bugs me even if he's not here anyway. Here goes nothing.
'Here.' I immediately shove him the key to the padlock soon as I open the door.
'The key, 'aho. You want the bike, right? It's in the garage, go get it.' I say petulantly.
'Hahaha.' He laughs. 'I don't need that. I have my brand new ride, look.' He points at a blue mountain bike beside him. How childishly exciting.
'So? Isn't your girlfriend waiting?' I ask, not wanting to know the answer.
'No. Not on Sundays.'
'What do you want, then?' I say.
'Payback time; I'll let you have this new bike of mine for a week and we're even. Hell, it's a nightmare to think that I owe you.' He grins.
'Forget it. Adios.' I snap as I try to close the door. Now what the fuck does he think of me? A lowdown like him?
'Don't really like it? It's up to you; your loss.' He frowns a little and brightens up again. 'You know, much as I'm loath to admit it, you've helped out with Haruko through that bike so…thanks.'
I nod. It's the only sensible thing to do, or I can also say 'you're welcome' but that would make me really out of character, so I just nod.
'Alright.' Sakuragi says and looks at the sky, 'hey, the sun's dawning; we can race through the highway, there aren't many motorists on the road at this time. Are you game? I'm dying to see who rides faster; though I wouldn't be surprised if you're the loser again, like in practice.' He grins mischievously. Oh, he's the only who believes that alright.
'Fine. You wait here.'
I head up to the garage to get my wheels. And trust me, I don't even know if it's a remotely brilliant idea to agree. It's true that people sometimes give in to offers of temporary comfort. And right now I'm succumbing to it too, just like a desperate fool who knows that whatever happens, that comfort is ending quite typically. Because no matter what, Sakuragi is still going to continue taking the girl out, even more so now that he has his own bike. Goddamn it.
A/N: I know, I know. Tell me how bad it is, I wanna hear it. You know, I can't do any good in this pairing because 1) I rarely write anything about them, 2) I can't make Sakuragi justly respond to Rukawa's feelings without making him OOC, meaning, it's too hard for me to make him gay like I usually make of Rukawa, and 3) it's such a difficult thing to think of a plot whenever you're in the mood to write, thus this crap. And… it's not very well written. Err, I know that there are many fans of Rukawa-Haruko pairing in this site and if you noticed, Rukawa hates Haruko in this fanfic. Ask me why; because Rukawa is really like that. Rrriiiiight? Thanks for the time.
PS. I can write about Sakuragi's side on this one if anyone bothers to request. I, too, think that things have always been unfair to Rukawa.