Fuku-ken

By J. St.C. Patrick

This is a work of Fanfiction. No Fans were hurt in the production of this story. Any claim by a Fan that it was hurt is fiction.

All the characters used belong the respective creators of Ranma 1/2 and Sailor Moon and their various publishers.

The idea for Fuku-ken came from Wargiver.

My thanks to Josh Temple, Pale Wolf, Stratagemini, Cheb, McClown, and Yrael from The Temple of Ranma's Seifuku fukufics forum for their comments and criticisms.

It takes place after Ranma met his mother as Ranko and before he revealed the curse to her.

Getsuyobi

Below the gigantic smiling faces of the Sailor Senshi the sign on the billboard read:

National Sailor Moon Fan Convention.

All This Week At The Nerima Convention Center.

Big Party on Saturday Night Come in Costume!

Prizes! Prizes! Prizes!

Ranma ignored it, he didn't care too much for Sailor Moon.Instead the pigtailed martial artist was watching the progress of a flea as it jumped this way and that. It was not really a flea, though it shared many characteristics. It could jump distances many times its own height, it was small and difficult to get rid of, and, while it might not bite, its touch made Ranma itch all over. It was wearing dark clothing, which, from a distance, enhanced its flea-like appearance The only incongruous thing about this particular flea was the large sack that it carried on its back.

It was, of course, Happosai.

And, as Ranma and most of Nerima knew, the sack was full of women's undergarments. Freshly liberated.

The demented flea quickly covered the distance to where Ranma was standing and unceremoniously dumped a bucket of cold water over a now spluttering Ranma-chan.

"Ah, the sweet bosom of my dear Ranma-chan!" Happosai cackled, as he adhered himself to Ranma-chan's well developed chest.

"Get off, you old freak!" came Ranma's reply as she tried to remove him.

"My, my, is that any way to welcome your master?" the demented flea leered, waggling his eyebrows.

"You ain't my master!"

A loud thundering, like that of a cattle stampede, interupted the pair, who looked up to see a wild mob of women bearing down on them.

"Got to go," said Happosai, who turned and bounced off. "Ta Ta!"

Ranma bounded right after him.

They bounced off roofs, cars, people, past a roadside tea shop, where Ranma made quick use of some hot water, till at last they came to the Nerima Convention Centre.

Happosai sputtered to a stop,"Do my old eyes deceive me? I think not!".

He entered the building and was in heaven.

A sign over the door proclaimed: Nerima Sailor Senshi Fan Club Meeting: 6pm.

Inside were girls, lots of girls, all dressed up as their favourite Senshi. All in short skirts and bows. For Happosai life just did not get any better than this. He dove right in.

"HOTCHA!" the diminutive psuedo-ninja cried as he blurred his way through the crowd, bouncing from girl to girl at speeds faster than the human eye could follow. Till at last he latched on to a Sailor Mercury, who became very angry. Very angry, indeed.

"Gotcha!" Ranma cried in triumph as he pulled Happosai off of Akane's ribbon bedecked bosom.

Akane, fuming, pulled out her hammer and, fully intending to hit Happosai, drew back and swung, yelling, "PERVERT!"

But Happosai wasn't there, having already wriggled out of Ranma's grasp he was out the door.

All the other wanna-be senshi saw was Akane malleting Ranma and calling him a pervert.

As they had not seen the person who molested them, they assumed that Akane had caught the pervert redhanded. So they joined in by pulling out their own hammers, striking a pose, then striking Ranma.

"For Love and Justice we will punish you!"

Sometime later a rather bruised and battered Ranma, muttering about, "Stupid Tomboys dressing up as Stupid Senshi.", made his way back to the Tendo's and headed for the furo.

"They are not Stupid!" an angry fuku clad Akane cried as she malleted him once more and waltzed into her room followed by P-Chan.

Kayobi

The next day Akane, attempting to be nice to Ranma, made him dinner. Alas, her inspired substitutions to the recipe were not appreciated by a gagging Ranma, who Akane punched through the roof.

He came crashing through the roof of a house in another district of Tokyo. His clothes in tatters, he found himself surrounded by a group of angry girls, all in Sailor Senshi fukus, some of whom had been at the community centre. The sign on the door read: Sailor Mars Appreciation Society. Ranma , however, didn't get to read it as he had already been pummelled into unconsciousness amidst cries of "For love and Justice We will Punish You! You Pervert!", and tossed out into the street, landing in the back of a passing cabbage truck.

Suiyobi

On Wednesday Ryoga showed up as Ranma was on his way home from school.

With a cry of "For mocking Akane's sailor suit, Prepare to Die!" battle commenced and the fight took them through the wall of the Tendo compound and into the dojo. The Dojo where Akane was hosting Local #24 of the Nerima branch of the Pretty Sailor Senshi Sisterhood, Mercury Division. Ryoga fainted from a nosebleed. Ranma lay there looking up from the floor between Akane's legs where he had landed. His eye twitched.

"Ranma, You Pervert!" exclaimed a furious blue fuku clad Akane. The other Sailor Mercuries gathered around menacingly, mallets at the ready, as Akane kicked him out of the dojo in a trajectory that carried him over the house and into the koi pond.

Splash!

"S-stupid senshi" muttered a sopping Ranma-chan. She took off her wet shirt and began wringing it out. Then she looked up and found herself facing Nabiki's Sailor Saturn Club and the wrong end of several Silence Glaives.

Nabiki held out her gloved hand, "500 Yen for interupting our meeting." Almost as an afterthought, and with a smirk, she added, "Each."

Mokuyobi

Ranma and Akane were walking home from Furinkan when Ranma found himself in intimate contact with a pair of rubber tires.

"Arien take Shampoo on date to Shampoo's Senshi meeting, yes?" burbled the bubbly Amazon bicyclist.

Looking up Ranma's mouth twitched as he noticed she had dyed her hair blonde and had her long locks in the odango style.

His left eye twitched as he noticed she was wearing a Sailor Moon costume as she picked him up and glomped him.

His body twitched as Akane malleted him and sent him flying while she yelled, "Ranma, You Pervert!"

Kinyobi

At lunchtime Ranma was sitting in the shade of a tree when he heard a familiar voice, "Hey, Sugar, how about an okonomiyaki?"

"Yeah, Thanks, Ucchan!" the pigtailed martial artist gratefully accepted. With that his favourite food momentarily appeared in his hands before disappearing through his lips. Then he looked at Ukyo.

"Hey, you've changed your hair style!"

"Yes," Ukyo nodded her head causing her new high pony tail to bobble, "it's part of my costume"

"Costume?" Ranma asked warily.

"Tonight is the regional meeting of the Sailor Jupiter Society. Would you like to see the whole get up?"

Ranma choked, but nodded his head. With that Ukyo ran into the school and sooner than you could say "Moon Power Make Up" she had returned as Sailor Jupiter in all her glory. She pirouetted, raised one hand, fingers in a V, and struck a victory pose.

"Uh, you look g-great, Ukyo" said a suddenly nervous Ranma. 'Odd', he thought, 'why should I be nervous? It's just Ukyo in a S-sssailor J-jupiter cosstume.'

He backed up.

"What's wrong, sugar?" she asked as she advanced on him.

"N-nnothing's -wrong, U-ukyo" he backed up further.

"If nothing's wrong why are you backing away from your cute fiancee?" She queried angrily.

"I-I dun-dunno bu-but I got-gotta gu-go" he turned and ran across the schoolyard as if all the demon cats from hell were chasing him.

Doyobi

"Why, Auntie Nodoka, what brings you by today?" asked Kasumi

Well, I have tickets for all of you girls to come with me to the Sailor Senshi Party at the Nerima Convention Center." Said Ranma's mother carrying a pair of boxes. "And I've brought a costume for Ranko.

"Oh how wonderful! Let me call them. Nabiki! Akane! Ranko! Auntie has a wonderful surprise."

o00o

Ranko stared at the unopened box before her. "Uh, Thank you, Auntie," she said in a strained voice.

"Why, Ranko dear, whatever is wrong?" Nodoka asked.

"I dunno, I guess I don't really like Sailor Moon very much," shrugged Ranko

"Nonsense, child, every girl wants to be a magic girl like Sailor Moon." As she said this she clasped her hands together, held them over her left breast and rested her cheek on them as her face took on a dreamy quality.

"It gives me a pounding headache," groused Ranko.

"Oh, you poor thing, but you've probably been sitting too close to the television. That's not very ladylike. A proper lady always sits at least three meters away from the screen. Now do get dressed in your costume, while I get into mine." With that Nodoka opened her box and took out her costume.

"Okay Auntie, anything for you," came Ranko's halfhearted reply.

Ranko gingerly opened the box and carefully picked up the costume, it looked slightly different, not that she knew much about Sailor Moon but she did know, from recent, painful, experience that bright green with red bows were not worn by of any of the Pretty Sailor Senshi.

She had taken off her shirt and pants and was standing in her boxers when a half dressed Nodoka turned to her and said, "You'll have to take off those boxer shorts, too, Ranko."

o00o

"Auntie, who am I supposed to be?" the fuku clad redhead asked, turning to her mother, who was now wearing a Sailor Pluto costume.

"You are Sailor Ersatz, I picked it especially for you. It goes so well with your hair. Now let's do something about that pigtail" said Nodoka, picking up a brush.

"Eep!"

o00o

There was only one Sailor Ersatz at the party. Because Ersatz was a cheap nock-off creation of the Yofuku's Costume World Company, Ranko was looked down upon by many of the 'true' Sailor Senshi there. She was glad that the Tuxedo Kamens and Beryl's Generals ignored her. Well, there was just the one, but Kuno's legs dangling from a hole in the ceiling served as a warning to the others. However, she was still very nervous. Her left eye was twitching.

"What's wrong, Ranko?" asked a concerned Akane.

"S-something b-bad is g-going to h-happen, I-i j-just know it."

"Well, so long as you don't do something perverted, nothing will go wrong"

"W-what d-do y-you mean 'perverted' , t-to-tomboy?"

Before Akane could answer Sailor Ersatz was glomped by an effervescent Sailor Moon.

"Shampoo glad Arien come to party to date Shampoo."

Alas, her glomp overbalanced Sailor Ersatz, taking the pair of them in to the tea and coffee table.

A drenched, steaming and very embarassed Ranma sat on the floor in a Sailor Ersatz costume.

A Sailor Neptune noticed the boy in a sailor cosutme seemingly molesting Sailor Moon and made the cry,

"PERVERT!" and pulled out a mallet.

Ranma was soon surrounded by angry, mallet wielding sailors. His right eye began to twitch.

"Wearing a Sailor Suit is for Girls only. Not for Perverted Boys. In the Name of the Moon I shall punish you" was said as one by the chorus of Sailor Senshi as they pulled out their mallets.

Wham!

Wham!

Wham!

But Ranma wasn't there. A hole in the wall marked his terrified passage into the night.

Nichiyobi

Ranma was running an errand for Kasumi, when he saw a sight that made his left eye twitch.

Ahead of him in the street were girls, hundreds of girls, heading in the same direction as he was, all of them dressed as Sailor Senshi. A poster on a fence announced: Today at Yofuku's Costume World: Meet Sailor Moon Live And In Person!

And the shop Kasumi wanted him to go to was right beside Yofuku's on the far side of the mob of fuku clad fanatics filling the street.

He blanched at the thought of entering the crowd.

Warily he edged around the milling throng.

He was sweating heavily as he neared the door of his destination.

Splash!

Clunk!

She spluttered, looking up at the window cleaners who had dropped their bucket of water.

Then came cries of "Pervert"

Followed by an ancient voice crying out "Hentai Clothing Grab, Revised: Reversal Dress-Up"

And she found herself standing in the the midst of all the girls wearing a Sailor Senshi outfit, complete with boots, gloves, choker, tiara and clip on earings and a short bright green skirt.

Her eyes glazed over.

She twitched.

She curled in upon herself and lay on the ground.

The Sailor Moon Fans crowded around her.

She twitched.

Someone dumped a cup of cold water in her face.

Her eyes cleared.

She sat up

She stood up.

She brushed herself off and straightened her bright green skirt.

Happosai bounded over and nuzzled her bosum.

She pulled him off and held him out by one hand at arm's length.

"My breasts are not for nuzzling, I am the Pretty Sailor Senshi Ersatz and in the name of the Moon I shall punish you!

"Moko Takabisha!"

"Lovely"

The End