There She Goes
Chapter 7: Training is over
By: Vampire Toy
PG 13 (Just in case)
Disclaimer: Me no own ;;
After the news from both Hanabi and Sakura I wasn't quite sure about my fathers obligations any longer. It was late evening when we got home. I stepped into my room quietly after bidding Hanabi and my father good night, but never questioning him of Sakura or Hanabi's claims. I had always loved my father and trusted his every word. His word sometimes seemed even more powerful than Tsunade-sama's could ever be, but only because it was how I was raised. I was taught that my clan came before anything or anyone else. This time, however, I was older, I was smarter and I had been exposed to the things that my father sought to shield me from.
I could still remember when I was younger, how my father had me home-schooled, brining in the best tutors and martial artists to teach me. Still I remained weak and the desire to be strong, to be what I was supposed to be…what my father wanted me to be, thrived in me. I trained hard everyday, even when I was on break I would sometimes go into the forest near my home that we used for training.
I only smile when I think back on my extra training though, after all it was when I first met Sakura and found the prospect of public school. In some way, the drive my father demanded had caused me to succumb to everything he didn't want for me.
I flopped down on my bed and looked at the ceiling recalling the memories. Sakura had stumbled on me thinking I was Ino, but she was kind to me and we spoke for a long time. She had liked my eyes and thought I was cute, then she had to leave and she gave me flowers. After that I was told to forget her. I could never forget the face my father made when I told him I wanted to marry a girl.
'Daddy! Daddy! Guess what?'
'Hinata-chan? What is it?'
'I was training extra hard today!' I gasped.
'That's wonderful Hinata-chan, that's good determination.'
'That's not the good part! You see….I met this girl today….'
'A girl….?' He asked kneeling down to face me.
'Yes…' I blushed, 'She gave me flowers….look! Daddy I want to marry her!'
I could almost feel myself breaking by the look he gave me. Most other parents would have laughed and thought it was cute, or smiled and dismissed it as a little girl just wanting to be with her friend forever. I don't know whether I would've wanted him to do any of that, but I know I didn't want him to do what he did. It was almost as if he knew no matter what, that I would do SOMETHING wrong, that I would be weak….or that I would give into something that would not be beneficial to my clan.
'Hinata, you can't marry her, she's a girl.' He tried being calm and blunt at first and I wished that I had just stayed silent then, but I didn't, the feelings I had made me strangely happy and more daring.
'Why not daddy? Mommy says I can marry anyone as long as I love them!'
'You don't love her! Mommy is wrong!' he grabbed my tiny shoulders and looked me straight in the eyes as I stared back in fear.
'You have to provide for your clan Hinata, you do what's right, you do what will keep the clan and your family alive and thriving! You do what you have to, you can't always have what you want!'
I opened my eyes, tears drizzling as I stared at my now blurry ceiling. My father always pushed me, but he let me stop when I was tired, he let me drink when I was thirsty, he had always told me, I could do anything. After that the memory became vague and distant almost as if I'd imagined it. After that I found Naruto, another person who had a strong heart and was kind to me. I was attracted to his strength, how he seemed to be able to go through life with seemingly no purpose and still be happy, still be proud of himself, and his accomplishments. So I suppose I did at one point love him, but my love for him had turned into more of a strong yearning to BE like him. I wanted to BE him, the strong confident person who could go on no matter what tragedy found them, no matter how rough life was. I wanted to be the person who could laugh out loud at life and who could rise up in confidence and go after what I wanted. I wanted to laugh at life; I wanted to go after the person I wanted.
That was how I became drawn to him. I suppose my father caused a bit of shock in me with his anger because I never thought of that moment again until I was locked away from the world to train. The four months thus far had been pure reflection on everything in life. All my childhood memories that shaped me to who I was and how I got to the point I was at.
That was when I remembered and now once more I reflected on that memory and wondered how I could overlook such a simple emotion.
I sighed and shook my head, letting the few remaining tears flutter off my face. I took in a deep breath and sat up on my mat-bed, looking at the wall in front of me.
No, I knew why I overlooked it, because realistically, something so small wasn't supposed to affect me so much. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hands. If any person looked back in their life to the first person they thought they'd marry who wasn't mommy or daddy, they would think they were being stupid or silly.
"Oh!" I turned slightly dazed in my surprise, "Hanabi?"
"I'm sorry to bother you sister, but father wants to speak with you."
"Oh…well, alright….tell him…I'll be right there…"
I quickly pulled myself together and rushed into my fathers room.
"Father, you wanted to see me?"
I blinked and looked at my father almost in awe, he seemed too fragile to be propped up let alone move or talk. It sickened me to see him like this and I instantly felt guilty for all my defiant thoughts.
"Hinata the rest of the week…you have off."
"Take a break."
"Oh, that's…not necessary! I can keep training, I'm a lot stronger now…"
"I know….I know your stronger now….so please take a break. It's only about two days anyway. After that we will commence with the transaction, we need you relaxed."
"Well…if it's required I suppose…"
"It is….that's all, you may go."
I paused a moment and looked over my father one last time then quickly turned and left.
The next morning when I woke I almost smiled to myself, today I would be able to relax….and see my friends again, see Sakura again! I tried not to think of my how terrible my fathers condition had seemed last night. I knew he wouldn't want me to feel sickly on my last two days of being completely human.
(Completely human….what exactly will happen to me when I get the demon inside me? Will I be able to handle it as well as Naruto or lose my emotions like Gaara? Hnn Gaara's demon makes it so he can't sleep, I wonder if my demon has a weakness?)
I sat up and let out a yawn, stretching out when I stood up. The warm rays of the morning sun washed pleasantly over my body as I went to stand in front of my window. After all the months of training I had forgotten that it was almost fall….I had completely missed summer.
(If I DO lose my emotions……then…maybe I should….tell Sakura how I feel?)
My heart beat faster at the thought. How would I tell her? What was the use if I couldn't be with her when my demon was inside me? It might make her uncomfortable around me…
(Never mind the demon, you don't even know if she's gay!)
(Well I hadn't completely admit that until now….I'm…gay, a lesbian…and Sakura probably isn't….)
I frowned and hurriedly showered and dressed, skipping breakfast to get out as soon as possible.
It was very likely that she was homophobic, she had been so into Sasuke that when he left, she was stuck in a state of shock.
(But…it's been years…four years…..since he'd left and she seems ok now. She seems to care about me…maybe enough….)
I shook out my head turning pink, (I shouldn't be thinking about things like this before the transaction, even if she DID love me back…..she'd never want to be with me after this demon takes over, who knows if I'll even still be myself?)
It's not fair to her.
(Or to me…)
I bit my lip and walked faster until I got out of my home's gates. No guards stopped me this time; no servants tried to pull me back. It made me nervous since I had gotten so used to it but I gladly ignored it and rushed to Sakura's house.
(I hope she's home, is this too early to be waking her? I hope she's awake!)
I stopped in front of Sakura's door and looked up at the sky, it seemed to be sometime between eleven and twelve but I couldn't be sure. Though I knew that Sakura would be home, seeing as it was Saturday, I couldn't keep away a small hope that she wouldn't be.
I wanted badly to tell her how I felt but I didn't know if I was ready for that and I feared that I might blurt it out at an inopportune time.
My chance to run, however, was gone as the door opened and a surprised Sakura stared back at me.
A/N: Yup, Hinata's 16 in this story XD Hope you guys like it, I'm sorry for the slowness but I'm gonna try update more because I really like this story and even though it may get weird and angstier I hope you guys will stick with it. BTW for the encounter Hinata had with Sakura read my story 'Color of Love' it's a short one-shot explaining their past together and its also in doujinshi form on my art page. Well if anyone would like to see it, I would like to turn this into a doujinshi too XD R &R please, thank you for your patience and thank you for reading.
Expect the next chapter soon, will Hinata confess her feelings? XD how will the transaction go?
Haha it's like a really cheesy soap opera….