Don't own FMA.


Please finish the anime series before reading this fic. Also, if you get the opportunity, read the manga (easy to find online). It will be very helpful to you for later in this fic.

You might find some of the characters slightly OOC. Please, don't be scared off. Times change and so do people.

I gave Ed some humor in this fic. I know in the series he's not strongly portrayed as being a humorous character, but I figured with age and in the circumstances he's in humor might be a refreshing way for him to express himself.

This fic starts 2 years after the series ended. Ed says that he has been stuck in 'our' world for 2 ½ years. My reason for this is its obvious some time has gone by during the series when Ed transmuted his brother back to his human form (you know, after the whole Dante scene) to the last time we see Ed in Germany. How did I come to this conclusion? Well if you look at Rose's baby in the final clips of seeing her, it's defiantly not an infant anymore.

This fic is written in Edward's point of view.

And for my blabbering conclusion… Held (the title of the fic) is actually 'hero' in German. Because in English it means 'to hold' I figured Held would make a good title. As I look at it, I am twisting the German meaning with the English one. It's to represent the physical/mental holding on the hero Ed use to be. He's desperately holding onto his past while trying to move forward in life.


By The Gomp

Germany, winter of 1923.

I looked at the array on the paper and had to hold back a bark of a laugh. The professor's eyes glowed with anticipation. "It's perfect, isn't it?" I forced an assuring smile on my face.

"It's very good. Maybe be a bit more careful when drawing the hexagon." In actuality it was just terrible, but I refused to offend the man.

The professor began to rub his chin as he examined his work. "I see, I'll work on that. It's amazing how knowledgeable you are with alchemy."

I shrugged my shoulders. "I studied it when I was younger. I suppose you could say it used to be a hobby of mine."

The professor nodded as his hand crept to rub the back of his neck. "You would make a fine chemist if you ever decided to head in that direction."

I shook my head while my hands flattened the paper that had the alchemy array on it. That wasn't the first time I had received a comment like that. "I hope this helps you with your class."

The professor nodded as he picked up the paper and began to roll it. He used a paper clip to keep the paper bounded. He lifted his brief case and placed the rolled paper inside, but then proceeded to take out a leather bound book from his bag. I looked at the book with curiosity.

"Your father suggested that I should give you compensation for all the help you have been giving me, he said you're interested in mechanics. I figured since you're also good with chemicals this book might interest you. It's written by an American author. English is your first language if I'm correct."

He handed me the book. The book was called 'A thousand and One Formulas: The Laboratory Handbook for Experimenters.' by Sidney Gernsback. I flipped through the book duly. I gave the man a weak smile and nodded my head to show my gratitude. I could feel anger beginning to run through my veins, but did my best to hide it. It was better not to offend an innocent bystander.

"That's very kind of you sir. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to head back home. I'm sure my father is waiting for me." The word 'father' I had to practically force from my throat.

Professor Schlesinger placed his hat on his head and nodded his approval. With that, I grabbed my coat and left his office.

Why couldn't my old man keep his mouth shut? Heh, the word 'old' was an understatement, he was more like ancient. I could feel the anger still burning inside me. I never liked it when Hohenheim talked about me with others.

I looked at the leather book in my hands, it seemed the book was freshly bought. I knew I should have been grateful for Schlesinger's gesture, but just knowing that he gave it to me because of a suggestion provided by my father just made the gift feel ineffectual.

As I approached the entrance doors of the University I pulled my wool jacket tighter around my body, I could feel the cold winter air creeping through the cracks of the doors. I pushed one of the doors open with my left hand and took a deep breath of the numbness of the outside world. I then began my walk home.

The weather in this world was nothing like the weather of Amestris. I missed the bright sun and colors that used to constantly surround me in my own world. I smiled at the memories, but frowned when I realized I was just toying with myself again.

It had been 2 1/2 years since I last felt the bright sun of my world and entered the hell hole of this one. For 2 1/2 years I had breathed in the stale air of Germany, it just sucked.

As I reached a corner I took one last look at Ludwig Maximizing University of Munich before it fell out of my view. My father had somehow gotten himself a job at the University 2 years back with barely any credentials, but I suppose it was not too surprising considering the state Germany was in. This past year was especially bad for Germany with major inflation dominating the economy. The Weimar Republic kept promising that the economy would become better by next year, I was curious of how well they could keep their word.

I mindlessly walked through the familiar snowy streets. A few times I had to stop to rub cramps out of my right shoulder and left leg, but it didn't take long for me to finally reach my destination.

The house me and my father lived in was… well, sufficient. It wasn't much to speak of, but it supplied both our needs. It was two stories and in a middle class neighborhood. The houses outside color was short on being pleasant. The brown paint was beginning to peal causing the house to have an antique atmosphere, but I sure as hell wasn't going to be the first one to jump up and down in anticipation to repaint it.

I jiggled the door key around a few times in the lock before I heard a satisfying click. Pushing the door open, I was suddenly greeted with my fathers loving arms. Ha ha! Ok if that man ever really did that I would probably kill him. Seriously though, I did find him in the lounge sitting by the fire place engrossed in a book.

I threw the leather bound book I had received on the coffee table. I tried to fold my arms over my chest with the intention to shoot my father a dirty look, but my prosthetic arm didn't want to agree with me. I only got my metal arm to move about half way which ruined the look I was going for. Luckily for me, my father didn't look my way.

His words came out in a sigh. "Is your arm bothering you again?"

That bastard! How the hell did he know without looking? I growled at my father for being right, but brushed off his question. I had much bigger fish to fry. "Why did you tell Professor Schlesinger that he should give me compensation?"

My father flipped a page in his book and ignored my question. I kicked the coffee table with my good foot to try and emphasize that I wanted him to answer me. Finally looking up at me, my father closed his book and gave me his full attention. For some reason I had the feeling he was annoyed. Annoyed? By silly ol' me! I'm sure he was not nearly as annoyed as I was with him.

"You do this every damn time. I can take care of myself! I choose to help him, alchemy is one of my specialties."

"It's mine too."

If looks could kill, my father would have been six feet under. It almost felt like a blood vessel was going to burst in my forehead. My words came out in a partial growl. "Then why don't you help him out oh-mighty-one?"

My father stood which caused me to automatically look inferior, but of course I just pretended to be oblivious to that fact. His voice was deep and almost… soothing as he spoke. It caused small chills to run up and down my spine.

"When are you going to realize that I'm just trying to help? This isn't even about the book or me talking to the Professor, is it? You're just trying to push me farther away."

My eye gave a slight twitch. I hated moments like these, they were supposed to be warm and squishy with the intention to make me think. I just wish my father would realize I had an ego to maintain.

"Stop acting like you know me, old man!"

"I have been living with you for quite awhile now, I think I'm beginning to learn at least a few things about you. Now let me see your arm, the weather is bothering your joints again. It's obvious."

Every. Damn. Time. Every single freaking time I tried to argue with the geezer he always found a way to change the subject. Call me stingy, call me annoying, call me the king of irritation, I just had a fetish for argumentation. But before I could make a good comeback, and I mean a good one, one of my back muscles began to spasm causing me to groan.

My father pulled off my jacket and unbuttoned my vest. I stared at him with pure annoyance. In return he only gave me a look of concern- he really knew how to ruin my moments.

My father yanked at one of the buttons on my white dress shirt to get my attention. "Will you help me here? It's not easy to undress you."

My eyes narrowed daringly, but I did what I was told. See, I was a good boy.

He pulled off my white dress shirt and looked at his makeshift auto-mail. He ran his fingers over the area that connected my arm to the tin-man part of me, I gave a slight gasp as he hit a sore spot. His hand automatically began to rub the aggravated muscle. Sometimes when he did that it made me want to melt into his touch, which was actually rather disturbing if you want the truth.

"How is your leg doing?"

A glared at him hoping he didn't think he was scoring brownie points. "It's fine." My voice came out more threatening then I meant it to.

He lifted his hands in a surrendering motion and took a step back. "Just making sure."

I sighed while my fingers ran across the cold metal of my right arm. "This is starting to get annoying. I miss my old auto-mail." If Winry could hear those words it would be like a magnificent symphony to her ears, too bad she wouldn't be hearing those words anytime soon.

"This world lacks nerve research, I did the best I could with the little knowledge I have and the lack of proper tools. Stop complaining."

I sat down on the couch. I knew he had done his best to recreate a leg and an arm for me and I was grateful for his effort, but compared to my old arm and leg, the limbs just didn't cut it. I could move my arm at the elbow joint but none of the fingers had mobility, my leg bent at the knee but I didn't have mobility in my toes either.

I picked up the book my father was originally reading and began skimming through the chemistry formulas. I was then suddenly, and very rudely, interrupted by getting my shirt thrown in my face. My glare would have made fly's drop, but somehow my father was immune.

My father picked up my new book and began to flip through the pages. "Doesn't seem like anything interesting, I would have expected Professor Schlesinger to be a little bit more generous." A nice plop sound was made when my father dropped the book onto the table.

I shrugged my shoulders. "He's in your department, you can complain to him next time you see him."

My father took a seat next to me. He grabbed his book out of my hands and searched for the page he was last on. Since the room suddenly fell silent I figured the conversation was over so stood to leave, but I was stopped by my father grabbing me by the wrist before I could make my get away. His face was still shoved into his book as he spoke.

"Dinners in the kitchen." Upon that statement I could feel my stomach do a hula dance. Oh yes food, I loved food. I quickly pulled on my dress shirt and made a beeline towards the kitchen.

I sank comfortably into my bed. If there really was a heaven I always thought the best thing heaven could be was a bed. After a long hard day of work the bed became your comfort zone, well at least for me it did. Sometimes when I found myself overly stressed all I would have to do was imagine that I was sinking into the blissfulness of my bed and I began to feel better, nice, eh?

At that very moment I was skimming through one of my many mechanical books hoping I could learn something new, but since I'd already read that book twice it was becoming obvious that I wasn't going to learn a thing. I sighed while placing the book on my bed stand and removing my reading glasses. That was right folks, I was slowly going blind- ohhh the horrors. I blamed it on a random sorcerer who had some type of grunge against me; my doctor still tries to convince me it's from my poorly lit reading sessions. I wonder who was right.

I took a look around the room. My room was small with a hard wood floor. Somehow I was mysteriously able to fit three bookshelves, a bed, and a desk in the cramped space. The shelves were jammed packed with books while my desk was covered with notes. In some strange way it had become a homely feeling for me to have my room that way.

It was actually still odd to this day to say that this was 'my room' considering that for years I had not had a place to call home, and then there was the fact that I never even had 'my' own room- it had always been Alphonse and I.

I closed my eyes as memories flooded in. I still wondered if Alphonse had made it home that faithful day long ago. My father has assured me that he did, but it can be hard for me to believe that at times. I mean after all, I was still alive.

On that faithful day, after I had sacrificed myself for Al, I had awoken to find myself in the world I was presently lived in. I had awoken in the same spot where the 'Edward' from this world had died. To this day I still felt horrible about that incident; I had killed that boy by lack of responsibility.

It didn't take me long to realize I was missing the limbs my brother had returned to me. What made it even worse was I hadn't had my auto-mail returned to me either when I first returned. So if you can put two and two together; I was missing two limbs and stuck on the outskirts of London when I came back to this world. But it was my lucky day that day! A milk delivery carriage was making a delivery a town over and the nice man stopped to help me out, he was even nice enough to help me find my father who luckily was still in London at the time. Who ever would have thought that I, Edward Elric, would be thanking whatever God's there were that milk delivery carriages existed...right.

Shortly after that, my father and I moved to Munich because he received his teaching position. My father also had to recreate my limbs for me since, at that time, I wasn't in the exact best mental state to do it myself.

That was so long ago, even though it all seemed so recent.

…I blinked a few times to try and recollect my wondering thoughts and bring myself back to the present. Heh, where did the time go?

I swallowed back a manic laugh while reaching towards a familiar drawer; I lifted out the liquor bottle and took a sip of the contents.

Ok, I just probably gave the wrong impression. I haven't gone totally crazy and I was not an alcoholic, unless you think that because I drink sometimes with my father's colleagues and take a sip of hard liquor before bed time (which helps me sleep better) would entitle me as an alcoholic. And, my lack of mental state at that time was not caused by a mentality shut down, but was caused by a serious case of 'pneumonia'. My immune system had never been introduced to an illness like that so it got pretty serious. Considering their lack of medicine in this world and the stress I had been under, it was a tough battle, but I made it out ok.

Since then I had been desperately doing research on mechanics. At first it had been rough to find intellectual people who would actually talk with me about mechanics, but once my fathers name started to become well known it became much easier. I was still interested in learning more about rocket ships, but Oberth and almost everyone else interested in the subject had shut me out, talk about frustrating. As I see it though, they are often criticized for their work so their actions are understandable.

So, instead of laying around and wasting my life I began to work on my own set of theories for a way to go home, but there was one thing that was putting a huge damper on my whole situation…

When I flew through the gate I had seen this world inside and out along with all of its little secrets. I had learned many truths and horrors that this world possessed. If I was totally willing to admit the truth to myself, then I would know that the rocket ship theory was not going to take me home. According to what I saw in the gate there was almost no way that I could ever get home.

I just couldn't admit that to myself, I would not believe it. I had seen many impossible things in my life time, there was a way for me to go home.

There had to be.

I rubbed my nose in a poor manner. Winter was almost over, but somehow I had mysteriously caught the sniffles.

"Oh Mr. Elric, I didn't know your father was expecting you." I looked at the bubbly secretary and shot her a charming smile. Just keep smiling and make the conversation short, that's how you do it.

"Yea, the old man forgot one of his books. I'm here to bring it to him."

The young woman nibbled on her pencils eraser while she contemplated what I said. For a second I thought there was a possibility that I had translated something wrong in German. Some might call me a genius but I sure as hell was no linguist. The woman noticed my concern and smiled reassuringly at me. "He's not here at the moment."

My mouth fell open and one of my eyes twitched. "Then why the hell did he call me here! He knows how much of a pain in the ass it is for me to walk all the way out here for his little necessities, that bastard. Ohh he will pay, dearly he will pay."

It took me a second to realize that I just said everything out loud. The woman's face would have made a good postcard to look at on a rainy day; the shock on her face was just priceless. I blinked a few times before I allowed the same charming smile I had used before to reemerge on my face. "I'm sorry; can I wait in his office?"

The woman recovered quickly and smiled back at me. "It's ok; your father has mentioned your outbursts. I believe your father left his office unlocked He should be back shortly, you can head right in. Would you like something to drink while you wait?"

He did it again; he talked about me AGAIN! I shook my head as I walked past her.

My father's office was nothing to brag about. It was rather small and dull, but I suppose it was hard for anything to beat his office at home. The office at home was the biggest room in the house. Originally it was the library, but my father claimed it as his own- some days it made me jealous.

I sat down in the wooden chair he used for his students. I threw his book on his desk and relaxed a little. I could have just dropped off the book and left, but I wasn't ready to face the chill of the outside world. Nope, this was much more comfortable.

The door opened as my father trotted his way in the room. He looked at me once and then at the book on his desk. "I hope this wasn't any trouble for you."

I stretched out my arms and legs and looked at him lazily. "Where did you go?"

My father took a seat behind his oak desk and began to check some papers. "I had a phone call; I decided to take it outside."

I raised a eyebrow at that. "What's the paranoia for?"

My father glanced at me, but then shrugged and went back to his papers. This could only mean one thing; he was talking to one of the Thule society members. I was never a big fan of that part of my father's life, but at the same time I knew very little about it. He met with the members twice a week and sometimes they would call at the house, that was about all I knew. The thing that I didn't like about it was how secretive they always were.

"Edward, do you have any plans for tonight?"

My father was looking at me with concern, I suppose I had gone into a daze for a second and missed something he had previously said. "I'm probably just going to do some reading."

"Ancel has someone he would like you to meet; he wanted to see if you were interested in having dinner with them tonight." Ancel was one of my father's students, I frequently saw him around my father's office since my father had gained a liking towards him.

I contemplated what my father said; I knew all to well where the conversation was going.

"Is this another female?"

My father smirked as his pencil doodled notes on a students paper.

The demons anger burned inside me. "Whose idea was it this time?"

"It was his; I learned my lesson last time."

I stood up and walked to his desk, my good hand gripped the oak furniture. "When are you two going to realize that I'm not going to get involved with anyone? I have no interest in dating."

"Who said anything about dating? It's called socializing Edward, you're the one who is jumping to conclusions."

"I…I…" The man was right, it was a hard thing for me to admit, but he was right. "Why does he want me to meet her?"

"There are no strings attached, he just wants to get you out of the house. You do spend awfully large amounts of time stuffed in your bedroom. It's either your room or you're at work."

That's right, today was one of my days off and instead of me relaxing at home this rotting geezer forced me to drop off his book- oh the pains I go through.

My words were in English which meant I was serious. "I socialize enough to satisfy my own needs. You know why I spend most my time studying, so don't act like you know what's good for me."

My father sighed as he placed down his pencil and looked at me. His words were in English as well. "I know you want to go home, but that doesn't mean you can't take a break and relax every now and then. What if you never make it home? You will regret the years you wasted."

The conversation wasn't a new one; it was actually quite common between my father and I. It always made my stomach twist in angles I didn't like. "Please tell Ancel that regretfully I can't join him tonight, maybe we can do it some other time."

My fathers gaze saddened for a moment before he turned back to writing on papers. He decided to change the subject. "I won't be around tonight."

I eyed him carefully. "Do you have a meeting?"

He nodded; this meant he wouldn't be back for dinner so I didn't need to worry about cooking for two- yippee.

I looked at the clock which hung behind his desk, it was almost noon. "I suppose I should go home."

"Are you ok walking back alone?"

I nodded as I buttoned my coat. "I should be ok; the weather is getting a lot better. My joints don't feel too bad."

"Take care."

The conversation ended at that.

I slide the book into its proper shelf. I looked at the next book on the cart and made my way towards the fiction end of the library. Skimming through the books on the shelf, it didn't take me long to find the proper place where the next book belonged.

Yes the library... it was my home away from home, the great thing about it was I got paid to be there now. Now, the pay wasn't nearly as generous compared to the days of the military, but it was enough to mildly help pay for living expenses.

A tug on my shirt caused me to look behind me. A girl no older than ten smiled up at me, I looked down and smiled back. Oh the joys of being taller. Oh! I haven't shared the fantastic news: I have grown, and I am very tall now! Ok, maybe an average height for my age. Well, maybe a little below average. Er, maybe I shouldn't use the word 'average', more like mediu- just drop it.

"Yes young lady, do you have a question?"

The young girl shook her head at me while tapping her foot nervously on the ground. I raised an eyebrow, but tried to wait patiently for her to answer. You always had strange kids like that; ones who were shy to ask questions so would take forever to speak. After a few more seconds of waiting, I grew very impatient.

"Is there a problem?"

She tugged on my shirt again and motioned for me to bend down. I knelt on one knee and looked her directly in the eye; she gave me an innocent smile and leaned forward to whisper in my ear.

"I think you have pretty hair."

That caused me to blush. "Er, thanks, that's very kind of you. I think your hair is pretty too."

She giggled at me which caused a true smile to spread across my face. Someone then tapped me from behind causing me to look behind me- ahh, too many people. This time it was a boy who seemed around the same age as the little girl.

"May I help you young man?" The boy smiled at me. His eyes seemed very bold and pure and he spoke with confidence. "I have a question for you."

I turned my body so I was fully facing him. "And what would that be?"

"Is it true that you're made of metal?"

My face faltered at that. "I suppose so, why?"

"Can I see it? Please!"

I sat for a moment and just stared at him. I wasn't really sure how to respond so I just lifted my right hand. The boy's eyes seemed like they were going to pop out of his head with amazement. "Whoa, they weren't lying, you are a freak." He took off in a quick run.

I looked at his retreating back in shock, it wasn't the first time that something like that had happened and I doubted it would be the last. When I was younger I had always feared that people would respond to me like that, as if I was a freak. When I first lost my limbs I was so scared I would be considered a freak that it caused me to go into a mild depression, but I suppose with how common auto-mail was, no one ever had any problems with it. During those days I was still capable of functioning properly, but here it was different.

But that was when I was a kid... these days I didn't care if I was considered a freak.

I felt anger inside me rise. "That punk, I'm going to beat the shit out of him!" I stood to run after him, but a small voice caught my attention. My movements haltered as I remembered the young girl that was still behind me, I could feel some shame nagging at me.

"Don't hurt him, please."

I turned towards her and gave a soothing smile. "I won't hurt him…" Well, not yet at least. "Do you know him?"

The girl nodded while looking at the ground. "He goes to my school, he's just a jerk."

Ha, ha, you little punk! If a sweet little girl called him a jerk than that meant he was the king of pathetic-ness. I made a mental note to mark him down on my ass kicking list.

The little girl grabbed onto my shirt and motioned for me to come closer again, I leaned down and she began to giggle, she was so freaking cute it made my real toes curl.

"You have very pretty eyes."

I giggled back. Yes, I was a man and giggled, if Roy Mustang ever heard me do that he would never let me live it down. That bastard, I really wondered how he was doing…

I shook my head to get my mind clear.

"Thank you; do you know how sweet you are?" The girl shook her head causing her curly brown hair to sway. I smiled at her. "You're just adorable, but I think you better get back with whoever you're herewith."

The girl nodded and skipped away. These were times that I actually contemplated on having children. Heh, little Edward Elric's. Oh God, the horror.

"Edward!" I looked to the side to find another worker walking towards me. Her name was Nixie and she was a year older than me. For some strange reason I always thought she had a good sense of fashion, she was always so creative in the things she wore. And the way she did her hair was nice too…

...sometimes I really wonder about myself.

Nixie smiled as she approached me. "Your shift is over."

I looked at her in surprise; I didn't even realize how much time had passed. "I didn't finish the cart."

She frowned for a second then shrugged. "I can finish it; the boss wants you out though. You know he can't afford to pay you over time."

I nodded. "Sorry I have to make you do the dirty work." I looked at her warily. "A couple of kids distracted me."

She laughed which made me raise an eyebrow. "What?"

"I saw the whole thing, it was rather amusing."

I eyed her. "I'm happy you think so, you could have helped me out."

She wagged her finger in front of me. "What would be the fun in that? I didn't want to hurt your pride."

I blew some of my bangs out of my face as I shrugged. "Yea sure, whatever. I suppose I better go before the boss literally kicks me out. Have a good day."

The women nodded as she grabbed the cart and looked through the books. I made my way to the back room and grabbed my hat and jacket.

It was spring time and I planned to enjoy the weather, I was going to take the long way home.

I flipped through one of my books while sitting at my desk. Do you know how frustrating it was to try to figure out machines? Oh, what a pisser-offer.

I slammed my book closed with the feeling of hopelessness. I sighed as I began to doodle on a blank piece of paper; it took me a few seconds before I realized I was drawing an alchemy array. I remember how nice it used to be to just clap my hands and have the law of conservation take place. It felt almost like a life time ago that I was back in my own world.


My head slammed hard against the desk… which actually rather hurt. I groaned.

A small knock took me out of my self dwelling; the door didn't open so I called out to the occupant on the other side. "What do you want?"

My father opened the door just enough for his head to poke through. "Is everything ok?"

I stuck my tongue out at him and turned my head to the other side so I wasn't looking at him. My father sighed and entered the room. "When are you going to grow up?"

I only allowed another annoyed groan to escape my lips.

"You're not a kid anymore."

"You act like I don't know this. And I am grown, see, I'm bigger." I gestured towards my body.

My father sat down on the bed causing me to have to look at him. He folded his arms over his chest and sat silently. After a few moments of silence between us I started to become mentally disturbed by his presence.

"What do you want?"

My father only took a deep breath and allowed it to escape slowly.

I didn't exactly know what to think of this, you would think for a 400 year old man he would have more say. "Do you just think I'm pretty to look at? I'm gorgeous aren't I?" I lifted my head up and flipped my hair around as if in a sexual manner.

"Shut up, I'm trying to think."

"So you chose my room out of all places to sit and think?"

"I'm thinking about you."

I stopped for a second, my head went blank. All I could say was an "Oh" and began to look at an invisible spot on the wall beside myself.

"How have you been cooping with things?" His question surprised me.

My father's eyes looked intently at me, there were only a few times that I'd seen him use that certain stare. The stare held a mixture of purpose, curiosity, intent, and a tad of wisdom; it meant that he wasn't leaving without some answers.

"It's getting close to being three years, I'm fine. Now leave me alone."

My father shook his head stubbornly. "You're not fine; it's hard for me to compare the boy I first met in Rizenpool to the boy in front of me now."

"Then don't compare. Trust me, people change."

My father's eyes narrowed. "You don't think I know that. I've been alive many more years than you have."

I almost laughed at the statement. It was just too funny. "That's the understatement of the century; you're an old man beyond comprehension."

I think I took my father by surprise with my teasing tone; a small smile crept on his lips.

"Yes, I'm an old man. But Edward please be serious with me, are you ok?"

I took a deep breath in and considered holding it till I passed out, but I decided against it and allowed the air to escape slowly. I went deep into thought which caused me to take awhile before I answered. "It's… just not easy."

My father nodded. "You choose a dangerous path in life."

"I never choose to be here, sometimes I wonder if it would have been better if I died. I never imagined that one day I would be in another world and out of all people in the world, I would be stuck here with you."

Now ladies and gentlemen, please don't think my father and I were always as open like this, this was actually a very rare conversation. But there are times in ones life that you have to talk; I think everyone needs a good conservation now and then.

Not saying my father was my top pick of people to have it with, but I did live with the man.

My father brushed aside some of his hair and ran his hand over his pony tail while he went into thought. I looked at him curiously; I had always thought that it would be interesting to read my fathers mind. Not for sentimental value, but for the pure fact that he was literally the oldest man I had ever met, oldest man that was alive I would hope. Just imagine what type of knowledge he might contain.

"I see."

Ok, maybe he didn't contain that much.

"Don't worry about me, you're going to make your head hurt."

My father gazed at me hauntingly; it sent chills down my spine. "You're my son; I'm going to worry about you."

The line I hated, more like despised. I had been living with my father for some time, but that didn't make up for all the years that were lost. I could never forgive him for leaving us, to me he was just my father through blood, he would never be my father at heart.

Nope, don't like him, never did, never will.

I drummed my fingers against my desk in annoyance. "I am telling you not to worry about me." Yup, I'm about to ruin our moment.

"Edward, please."

"Hohenheim, don't 'please' me." Oh no, he's looking at me with those pleading eyes. I HATED the pleading eyes.

"Are you ever going to call me by my proper name?"

I tapped my chin and gave a confusing face. "Well let's see, I always thought Hohenheim was your name. Would Professor satisfy you more? Or I can go back to calling you 'The bastard'."

The look on my fathers face crushed me. I never knew why I did things like that, maybe just to push him away. I wanted to reach out for him and say I was sorry, but I didn't have the courage to. He was right, I really hadn't grown up.

I looked away from him not wanting to see his face, I could only think of one thing to say. "Can you please just leave me alone?"

My father stood, which was shortly followed by footsteps, and the bedroom door opening. His voice called out to me in a whisper. "Dinners on the table."

I mumbled, "I'm not hungry." and then heard the door click shut.

He really wasn't the bastard, I was.

Authors note:

Please, don't stop the story right here. This chapter is simply snippets to give you a brief view of Ed and his father's relationship. There is much more to come in the future of this story. Oh-yea, a hell of a lot more.