Post-2.16.

Tide Just Turned

The tide just turned, Alex realises. She stares out at the ocean, pointedly ignoring the bonfire going on further down the beach, wondering if Marissa has noticed the changing of the tide. But of course Marissa hasn't noticed, she's at the centre of her little world over there, a world Alex doesn't belong to. And anyway, it's always been Alex's little ritual.

For a moment she wonders: if she hadn't come down to the beach tonight, could things have been different? Could she have spared herself a major life change by simply avoiding the beach at this particular time? It's her own little ritual, a personal thing, but now it feels like fate has some hand in it, like the turning of the tide doesn't simply correspond with her life, but affects it.

Silly thinking, she knows, but staring at the waves is doing something to her. She's a few feet away but it feels like they're washing over her; feels like she could drown.

She's not going to drown. It's all going to be okay, she tells herself. The water has nothing to do with her relationship crises, and she and Marissa would have ended things sooner or later, it was just a matter of time.

She tries to believe it. She kicks off her trainers and walks towards the sea, stopping when she's knee-deep and her jeans are heavy with water. She's too far away from the bonfire for anyone to notice her, she thinks, it's dark and there are far more interesting things to watch than a blonde-haired girl standing still as the waves lap against her legs.

Her tears fall into the ocean, mingling, becoming a part of it. Maybe that's where they belong, and someday she'll be staring out at the tide changing before she kisses someone else, and remember that sometimes love can really, really hurt.

- end -