Disclaimer: South Park is not mine, I am not making money of this story.
Author's Notes: People! There's a challenge in my profile, go check it out!
And sorry for spelling or grammar mistakes, English is not my native language…
I don't remember when it started, but I sure can remember how it started.
When we got to high school at long last, those two started to act… weird, even for them. It seemed like they became better friends, if even possible. Cartman, being Cartman, accused them for being "So fucking gay with each other that he couldn't bare to look at them anymore", but I knew better. I know people- they need to have a pretty good protection for me to look at them and not know what's going on with them. I've been through hell and back, literally, there's nothing they can hide.
When we were freshmen, Stan and Kyle were still best friends, and not "goddamned faggots" like Cartman accused them of being. Not yet, at least. They were getting close to that level, though.
A year later we became juniors, and then I've noticed that something changed between the two of them. I couldn't be too sure if they became serious with each other or not, maybe because I've been around them for so long that they can confuse me with their antics. I made a mistake: I was positive they were simply best friends, because I just couldn't imagine them together. And when I found out the truth…
I remember the day when I first saw them in the time they least wanted to be seen in. Kyle's relative returned from a trip to Europe, and he bought him new shoes, from the kind you can only get overseas. No one else in school had shoes like that. Not that they were amazing shoes, mind you, Kyle himself said he only wore them while his relative stayed at their house.
I don't have many classes with Stan and Kyle, and I don't know how many classes they share with each other.
On a very cold winter's day I got kicked out of class for being noisy, and with a colored slip of "detention" in my pocket I made my way towards the bathroom on the second floor for this reason or another, which I really can't remember. When I got there, I couldn't help but notice that I wasn't the only one there. In the farthest stall, the one below the window with the words "School can suck my balls!" on its door, I've noticed legs. Someone with Kyle's shoes was in that stall, so it couldn't be none other than Kyle himself. What got me curious was the fact that Kyle wasn't alone in the stall: someone was there with him. After narrowing my eyes and furrowing my forehead in thought, I came to the conclusion that the other shoes in that stall belonged to Stan. What were those two doing in the bathroom together in the middle of class? I advanced quietly and listened carefully, instead of words hearing pants. Were they doing what I thought they were doing…?
There was only way to find out, and so, I entered the stall next to theirs and climbed on the toilet, cursing inwardly and flinching as it squeaked beneath my shoes.
"Someone's here!" I heard Kyle hiss.
"Relax, nobody came in," Stan replied and I smiled. They were so engrossed in whatever it was that they were doing that they didn't hear me come in. I looked downwards and saw a shadow moving on the yellowish tiles. Stan was probably looking for shoes. "There, there's nobody here."
"Are you sure?" Kyle asked quietly.
"Want to see for yourself?" Kyle did see for himself, by the shadow that moved again. Then they became silent again, and I straightened my hunched back so I could look over the thin wall, which separated the stalls and see what they were doing.
I was… surprised, to say the least, even though I suspected it. I had to stifle a laugh and cover my mouth with hands as I watched how the two practically tried to eat each other. Did they cut class to make out? Did they have a free period? I didn't care.
Stan's hand wandered from Kyle's neck to the lower parts of the Jew's body, but he didn't get far. Kyle held Stan's hand as he felt someone tugging at his pants and pulled away, much to my dismay, from the kiss. "What are you doing?" he asked.
Stan smiled. "Come on, just a little feel-"
"No, Stan. We're in the middle of school!" Kyle argued.
"So what?" Stan asked and glanced at his watch. "There are still twenty minutes before class ends, we have more than enough time." Kyle didn't look happy, and Stan took it as a sign to continue. "Come on, dude… it's been long…" he said and smiled softly.
Kyle smiled back, apparently convinced, and I had to give it to Stan for succeeding in seducing him. "Fine," Kyle said back, and his hand, which was still holding Stan's, guided it back to where it stopped. Stan unzipped Kyle's jeans quickly, that I could tell from the noise, but his body hid what he was doing. Kyle threw his head back, his face flushed and his eyes closed, and I ducked in case he would open them and see me. He won't, my mind told me, and I lifted my head above the thin wall once again. Kyle's head was buried in Stan's chest and his hands clutched his shirt as he breathed heavily. Stan was the only thing that kept him from falling to his knees.
I could tell that Stan was smiling as he worked, and ever so slowly he put his head in the crook of Kyle's neck. I could guess that it was hard on him, as well. "Look how hard you are…" he whispered, and Kyle only moaned quietly back. I never knew that Stan had that in him. He used to throw up on the mere mention of things like that. Either he matured, or either he found a new side of himself he didn't know even existed. And maybe he just loved Kyle so much that he didn't give a fuck about it.
"You call that… a quick fee-ah!" Kyle stopped moving his hips, and let all of his weight on Stan, who drew his now wet and sticky hand back and wiped it with a toilet paper. When he was done, he simply held Kyle as both tried to calm their pants.
It was… beautiful. Simply beautiful. Not that I'm gay, mind you. I'm as straight as a ruler. I'd rather fuck girls, but if a guy says he'll pay for my work then so be it! I don't mind.
But watching Stan and Kyle… I couldn't believe that I almost laughed at them. The way in which the clung to each other, the way in which Kyle held Stan earlier, the way they were kissing… I don't think that I could ever love anyone in such way. I can't imagine myself snuggling after getting my share, usually I fall right to sleep. But they were standing there and holding each other, and it almost brought a smile to my face.
"We should go back," Stan said, breaking the silence.
Kyle nodded. "Yeah, the teacher would wonder why it took us so long to get a pill against headache."
Stan opened the door, pecked Kyle on the cheek one last time… and then I realized that the door to the stall I was standing in was open. I almost freaked out and stretched my leg to close it. Luckily, I succeeded. I heard the door to the bathroom open and close and I breathed a sigh of relief.
I wanted to see more.
Since that day, my eyes always followed them as I waited for them to sneak out somewhere so I could see them together. But they never did that, probably because when I was with them they were surrounded with other people. Stan noticed me staring and asked about it. I told him he was imagining things. He believed me.
I remember only seeing them once at it after the incident in the bathroom. I went to Stan's house for something, and his mother told me that he's up in his room. So I entered the room and… they were there, on his bed, and to my dismay they were covered in his blanket. I don't know if they were naked, but they sure were in the middle of something. I closed the door quickly because his family was just downstairs, and I told his mother that I got what I needed. I wondered if maybe I should peek from the window, but decided against it.
Until the day in which I could see them once a week came. The school day ended and I was about to go and ask Stan for a ride home, when I noticed Kyle next to him. I came from behind and approached slowly so they won't notice me.
"So we'll meet here on Sunday?" Stan asked, and Kyle nodded. Sunday! Of course! No one is in school on Sundays, they'll have the place practically for themselves! Jumping over the gate isn't that hard. I decided I would come here as well.
On Sunday afternoon I came to school by bus and jumped over the gate. Even though Stan and Kyle know that there's no one in school on Sundays, they won't take the risk. They were probably hiding. And hiding they were: behind a tree that was behind the Gym, hidden from the naked eye. They couldn't hide from me, though. But where could I hide and watch? Up on the next tree, my mind told me, but I there was no way I could climb on it without them hearing me. So hide behind it…
And that's exactly what I did.
They weren't less beautiful. Stan was on the bottom this time, and Kyle's hand touched whatever skin that was beneath his shirt as his other hand supported Stan's head. They were doing it with such grace…
I know I would never be able to that. Stan and Kyle received love, so they knew how to return it. Me… I never received love. It's not that we loathe each other in my family, but we more or less… accept each other. There is no love. I've never had a girlfriend. When I became fifteen, I went to a hooker for the first time. That's the only kind of relationship I've been in; One-night stands and no more. I think that it's great that Stan and Kyle can share such deep feelings with each other, and I'm glad that only I know that.
We may not be the best of friends, me and them I mean, but here we are sharing a secret. Too bad they don't know that they share it with me. It's a good thing that Cartman knows nothing. He may call them names now, but he knows he has no proof, so there's nothing he can do with it. If he'll get a proof, he'll make sure they'll never forget it. He'll blackmail them to do things I don't even want to think of. He's a manipulative bastard, and although I'm against it, it could help him in the future. Friends he won't have, but money is another story.
Stan and Kyle will always have each other, and that is a wonderful thing that I'm jealous of but feeling lucky to get to witness.
I want to feel loved…
They stopped kissing and laid next to each other, Kyle put his head between Stan's chest and shoulder, and Stan was running his hand through his red hair.
"What do you want to do tonight?" Kyle asked.
"Let's go to Stark's Pond," Stan told him. "I have a feeling the sky is going to be clear tonight."
"We'd be able to see the stars," Kyle said and lifted his hand, as if trying to grasp a star that wasn't seen in the sky yet. Then both of them fell silent.
"I have to go," Kyle said suddenly after long minutes of silence. "I told my mom I'd be back before dinner."
Stan sighed and sat up, causing Kyle to do the same. "You always have to go back, Kyle…"
"What do you want me to do? I can't tell her 'no, mom, I can't come back early 'cuz I want to make out with Stan'!" Kyle said, and I was surprised to find no anger in his eyes.
"I don't know… but we have to find a way! You're not a little kid anymore, she has to understand that!" Stan said.
"It's not that easy. She says that it's dangerous outside after dark and that she doesn't want me to hang out on the streets."
"But you're with me! It's safer!" Stan sounded almost begging. To me, it seemed that they have a perfect relationship. I think that they should have been happy with what they had instead of asking for more.
"She won't listen, Stan! Sometimes… sometimes I think she knows that something is going on."
They fell silent again, and Stan held Kyle against him, kissing the top of his head. "It's going to be okay," he said. Shortly after that, they stood up and left, leaving me to ponder.
I went to Stark's Pond that night, of course. As expected, they were there, snuggling and staring up. I have no idea what excuse Kyle used to convince his mother to let him out of the house that night, and frankly, I didn't give a shit. I was happy just to see them. They stayed there for hours, doing almost nothing. I doubt if they even talked to each other…
Stark's Pond is a popular place among lovers, so they acted low in case someone would wander in. I cursed that fact. I wanted to see some action!
When the hour became late, Stan stood and helped Kyle up, telling him something I couldn't make out. Kyle smiled in return and they left. I decided to follow.
They went to Stan's house. Kyle probably told his mom he's going to spend the night at his place. Stan's widow was… high above my head, and there was nothing there I could stand on. Dejected, I left back to my house. I could just see them next Sunday…
I went to school every Sunday, and every time they where hiding in somewhere else. Once, they were literally making out inside of a bush.
What started out - in my eyes - beautiful, became, as time passed, almost violent. It was as if they were attacking each other, one trying to overpower the other. It was as if… they knew their time together was limited. Either that or they became obsessed with each other, just as I became obsessed with them. I went to see them every week, I spied on them, and I cut classes to see if they'll come in the bathroom. Once, and may God forgive me for that, I snuck into Stan's house and lay under his bed for the entire day. Luckily for me, Kyle came to his house, and they did what I so longed to see. It's too bad that I could only hear their voices and the squeaks of the bed and not actually see them.
Violent and violent they became, at times they even wounded each other, but they didn't mind.
Violent and violent, but I couldn't stop watching.
Violent and violent. Until… Stan was sitting alone.
It was a normal Sunday. The day before they were acting normal when the four of us hung out. I went to school on that Sunday, as usual, and when I found Stan… he was there alone, with his head rested on his arms, which were rested on his knees, which were folded up to his chest. I wanted to ask what happened, but I couldn't. He wasn't supposed to know that I was there like I've been there for the past two months. He stayed like that for about three hours, and then left.
Was that the end? I decided that I won't let that happen. I wanted to see more, and I won't let their petty fights stop me from doing so. So I did what every person would do if they were in my shoes: I wrote notes in their name and inserted them to the respective lockers. Each one got a note that said they wanted to meet behind the Gym after school and apologize. I, of course, was planning on spying.
The clock struck three, and I waited patiently behind a tree for them to arrive. Kyle came first, looking pissed, and Stan wasn't late to follow.
"So you want to apologize?" Kyle asked as soon as he spotted him. "Do you even know on what?"
"You want me to apologize! You're the one, who stood me up!" Stan yelled.
"It wasn't my fault! My mom wouldn't let me out!" Kyle replied, stepping closer.
"It's always your mom! What was it this time!"
Kyle looked hurt. "She said that I always come back too late! And she noticed me limping! She said that I'm always getting hurt when I'm with you!"
"You could have told me!"
"How? She told me to stay home as soon as I was about to go out!"
"Today at school!"
"We don't have any classes together today, I didn't see you the entire day!"
They fought on and on, waving their arms around as they yelled and blamed each other. I wanted to stop them, but I couldn't expose myself. I could only hope they would make up… or out, whichever is good. This plan always seemed to work in the movies…
It lasted for long minutes, until Kyle was about to make another step towards Stan… but yelped in pain and fell. He did say something about a limp… Stan wasted no time in running forward and helping him up. "What happened?" he asked, sounding worried.
"My leg…" Kyle answered through clenched teeth.
"Oh, oh God…" Stan said, mercy in his eyes. He held Kyle in an attempt to help him up, but as Kyle's leg moved he cried in pain, and Stan had to leave him. "Is it that bad?" he asked. Kyle nodded quickly. "God, I'm so sorry, Kyle… "
Was he the one, who gave him that wound?
"It's okay," Kyle said, looking up and smiling softly. "I can barely feel it."
Stan laughed. "Liar…" then he frowned. "Can you stand up?"
"I don't know…" Kyle said.
"Come on, I'll help you." Stan said and supported Kyle again. It didn't work before and I didn't see any reason it should work now. As expected, Kyle cried again and Stan had to leave him. "I can't do this alone," he said.
I smiled. Maybe it was my time to make an appearance. "Hey, guys!" I said as I came up from behind the tree with a cheap lighter in my hand.
"Kenny," Stan said, blinking. "What are you doing here?"
"I went for a smoke," I said, pulling out a cigarette. "Want some?" both shook their heads.
"You came in a good time," Stan said, pointing at Kyle. "Kyle here… he hurt his leg, and I can't help him up. I thought that maybe if we had two people to do it, it would work."
"Sure, I'll help." I said, returning the unlit cigarette to my pocket.
The way to Stan's car was long and hard and we had to stop every few seconds because Kyle's leg hurt too much. I could see the pain in Stan's eyes, and I wondered how he inflicted that wound on him. Of course, we also had to help to his house… and his mother saw us.
"Kyle!" she called in her accented voice. "What happened?" she noticed Stan and narrowed her eyes in anger. "What did you do to my son!"
"I-" Stan started, but I cut him off.
"I did it, Mrs. Broflovski," I said, earning a curious look from both, Stan and Kyle. "We were playing football and I kicked Kyle by mistake."
"Kyle never said he played football," his mom said, crossing her arms over her chest.
"He didn't want you to be mad at me," I said. "I'm sorry for hurting your son, it was by mistake." I have no idea why she didn't ask about the other wounds she probably noticed on Kyle, but she nodded and told me to be more careful. When she came back into the house, Kyle and Stan turned to look at me.
"Thanks, Kenny," Kyle said, smiling.
"No problem," I replied and smiled back. "What are friends for if not in order to help each other?"
They nodded. "Come on," Stan said and turned his attention back to Kyle. "I'll help you to your room. Bye, Kenny! And thanks!" Just before the door closed behind them, I could hear Stan say "and I'll try to be gentler."
I smiled. I was happy that they made up, of course, but most of my happiness came from the fact that I knew I'll get to watch them for many times more in the future. Obsessions, as Stan and Kyle also proved, aren't that easy to get rid of.