Prologue: One Day I Woke Up

There's so much that, as parents, we want to give our children. We all have the ability, to say and do things that we wished we hadn't, and there are things we wished we could do more of.

I wish I could have changed what happened. I wish I could've understood, I wish, I could understood, and before I lost my baby, but I couldn't. I never could understand, and even to this day I deny the real truth, and wake up screaming when I think of it.

When your child goes to high school, or perhaps even college, they change. It's not just a subtle change from a child to an adult, but a real change, one that alters their personality, or their actions. When my son went to high school, I expected him to be like that, I expected him to change, but he didn't, but when sophomore year started, everything changed. A year later, he was dead.

There are numerous ways an average person would expect a healthy teenager to die. STDS, drunk driving, overdose, joining a gang, or suicide. Alex didn't die from any of these. It would've been so much easier if he had. It would've given me some closure, it would've been something I could've blamed myself for, but his death was nothing of the sort. I wasn't there; otherwise, he wouldn't be dead now. I think we both knew that, so he left me the only things he could.

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Chapter One: I Woke Up Knowing

"Dear Mum,

There are so many things I wish I could tell you. There have been so many things that I wanted to tell you for so long. Things, that even now when there isn't any point in not telling you, I can't. I made a promise a long time ago to a friend. Through that friend, I made friends. I made the best friends that a guy ever had, and I wouldn't trade them for the world. We were a team, a unit, and in a way, pairs.

I'm getting ahead of myself, and I really need to explain to you, why I'm about to do something, that is completely uncharacteristic of me. It's the right thing to do. Please tell Isabel how much I love her, and Mia. You'll understand in a few years. I love you mum, never forget that. You and dad have been the best parents anyone could ever ask for.

It really started the first day back of high school our sophomore year. Liz was fighting off a certain Kyle Valenti, and Maria had recently run out of her stores of Cedar oil. It was a normal first day. But things change, and that day wasn't an exception. I wasn't there. I would've freaked if I had been. I was at home working on my project for the computer festival that was coming up.

She was shot. My best friend, Liz Parker, she was shot…."

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I have raised my child to be the best person he could be, and to hear that he had been hiding things from me, especially that his friend had been shoot, well, I really started to question myself as a parent. But this was the last letter he had ever written me, and to hold something that he meant for me to read was beyond precious, and through will alone, I read on.

vvvv

"She almost died on that floor in The Crashdown. Almost. If it hadn't been for a certain Max Evans, she would've died. The official story said that two men were fighting, one pulled out a gun, and the trigger went off. Liz, had spilled a ketchup bottle, and had luckily ducked out of the way of the oncoming bullet. Sheriff Valenti didn't believe a word of that. He took the uniform and had found the bullet hole where the bullet had entered the uniform.

Like I said, I wasn't there. I didn't know any of this. I was told that she had spilled a bottle of ketchup, and from one friend to another, that was enough. I did notice that Liz started to hang around more with Max Evans, Michael Guerin, and Isabel Evans. That was weird, and it had made me suspicious. Nothing with Max Evans had really made me nervous then. He had been silently in love with her for years, and I knew she felt the same, even if she didn't acknowledge it openly, even with Maria or I.

What made me suspicious were Maria and Liz whispering. They whispered with me usually, but it suddenly they whispered when I was leaving, or when they thought I couldn't hear.

Did you know I have committed more crimes in a little over a year to earn me more jail time than even Jack the Ripper? Amazing huh? Who ever would've thought that I, Alex Whitman would ever be a felon, and apparently a good one since I got away with it? I guess I officially became a felon the day Max and Liz got into a car accident.

Liz and Max skipped a period, and went for a drive on the highway in Max's jeep. They hit something, and Max was taken to the hospital. Liz called me a few hours later telling me she needed me. I went to the hospital, and she told me what had happened to Max, and she said she needed my blood. I let her have it. I told you, there was something suspicious about everything that was going on with the five of them. At the time I suspected drugs. Who wouldn't? Really, they were in a hospital, where they would do a blood test, and they needed blood. Not to mention Max and Michael were pretty much loners. Your stereotypical drugies. Except Max made high honor roll with Liz every year. (I only knew that because he would make it a point to stand next to Liz every year when we had assemblies, and they handed them their certificates, and Liz would always blush and looked like a tomato. Maria and I teased her for days about that.) So, I knew there was something else going on, but what? I didn't help that Isabel Evans was there.

Even to this day, she is the most beautiful creature I have ever set my eyes on. I knew I loved her since the even before girls had cooties. I loved her before I was born, and I sincerely believe that one day she'll realize that she may have felt something for me. I hope she will. I want you to know that this is for her. I want you to know right here, in the middle of the story, that this is for her. I want you to know that everything I did was for her. I didn't do it because it was right, or because it was good, and just. I did it because I loved a girl. It was that simple, and one day, you'll see that I did what I had to do out of love."

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To hear a teenager talk so passionately about love, especially after they're gone, I'd like to tell you that I believed it. But I couldn't. He was so young, there was no way he would be able to experience love the way he said he had. Especially with Isabel Evans. I had heard about her. I had even seen her around town on one of her many dates. She was pretty yes, but she was standoffish, and cold. She left a long trail of young men in her wake. She dated them a few times, and left them hanging. What was different about Alex? I didn't want my baby to be hurt, but he was my only child, and I didn't want to blow things out of the water about some girl. It was a high school crush, and would last to the end of high school at the most.

But then I saw them together.

She was like putty in his hand, despite whatever control she thought she had. Sure, he stuttered, and acted like a kid in a candy shop, but she was obviously smitten. There was something different. She felt the same way, and Alex hadn't known. I had, and I hadn't mentioned it, not wanting to encourage the relationship until I had gotten to know her more personally. But what got me was that he hadn't known that whatever feelings he had had for her, she had felt the same way. It nearly killed me, I will always wonder at how Isabel must feel.

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"I should mention here that Maria was dating. She was dating a Mr. Michael Guerin. The same Guerin whom she bickered with constantly; the same person she loved with all her soul. I was the first to see it coming. It was unavoidable. Max and Liz were paired off together, whether they were dating or not, and Michael and Isabel were more like brother and sister than anything else. So, they were together. I guess dating would be the wrong term to use, but they were together.

I should also mention that Liz and I were on they outs. She swore that she wanted to tell me her secret, but couldn't and I told her that unless she told me, I couldn't be her friend anymore if she didn't tell me. Friendship is based on trust, and I couldn't trust her anymore.

You'll remember that I asked to go to a party at the soap factory. You had given me a stranger look, but you had let me go. I had thought that she (yes, I am talking about Isabel) had just invited me to trust Liz again. It was low. It was so low of Liz to do that, to get the one girl, whom I had sought after for so many years to come and tell me to trust her.

Well, the party at the soap factory was illegal. Eventually the police showed up (after Michael had broken up with Maria, and Liz and Max were starting to look a little cozy). Someone had handed Liz a bottle of alcohol, and wouldn't you know it, Sheriff Valenti walked right in at the most inopportune moment. Liz and I were taken 'down-town' and were kept in separate cells for a few hours that night.

She told me there, in that jail cell. She told gave me the answers to everything I had been looking for in weeks. Max, Isabel, and Michael…."

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Oh god…..

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"Max, Isabel, and Michael are aliens from the planet Antar. We didn't know that then. We didn't find that out till the end of the y ear, and you have to remember, this was before that. The three of them are capable of doing things that you and I never could. They can change the molecular structure of just about anything, and each of them has their own special power. Max can heal, which is why Liz was saved that day in the Crashdown. Isabel can going into peoples dreams. We call it dream walking. Michael, well, he's the warrior, and has the most destructive powers, and its not like he not the moodiest person in the world, and when he gets pissed off, his powers go out of control. They're so different, biologically. They have the same bone structure, but just about everything else is different on that level.

But they are just like us emotionally. They think the same way, they love the same way (physically too). They were raised the same as any one else, they just happen to be from the far reaches of space. They're not here to take over the planet, and they're not here to breed and over-populate the planet, well, it wasn't the plan anyway….

vvvv

Isabel Evans an Alien….

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But remember, I didn't know any of this. At best Liz was just pulling my leg. But, we got out of Jail, and we were back to being friends again.

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Chapter Two: Today Is the Day I Will Die

I remember when I first found out that I was pregnant; I was thirty and hadn't thought I was capable of even having children. It was the most horrifying moment I have ever had in my entire life. I was thirty, and I was about to have a child. I was married to a man who spent too much time at the office, and was emotionally disconnected from the world. Our marriage was headed downhill, but when Alex was brought into the world, everything changed. My husband and I resolved to find jobs stationed somewhere reliable and permanent. When I was transferred to Roswell, we knew it was home. We settled down and tried to live our lives as normally as possible. Married life was a constant strain between us but, by then, we were different people. I was a different person.

It wasn't just us anymoreCharles and I. There was Alex then, and we had to make a life for him. We couldn't just split up. We had to stick together, for the baby. We fought a lot and didn't get along very well, but we were parents; and perhaps it was the idea that there had to be two parents in a household, a mother and a father that needed to be there for the child despite their mutual feelings for each other. It was an obligation; a heavy burden that we both wore and I doubt that Charles loved me any more for it.

Alex once walked in on a fight we were having about some trivial thing, and began to cry. He couldn't have been older than four and I doubt that he'd even remember it. From then on Mr. Whitman and I decided to set our differences aside and were parents to Alex. We were stupid then. We should've divorced. It was the eighties and although divorce wasn't what it is today, it was an option and one that would've been a hell of a lot easier than pretending to be in love with someone when you're sleeping in separate beds. But as the years went on, the lies became a little easier.

When Alex was a teenager he spent more time with his friends Maria and Liz, and spent less time inside with us, and it was time we spent doing whatever we could to stay away from each other. To yell at each other, to throw things, to accuse, and to practice more lying. It was our time to stop the facade we had set up for our son. We had agreed that this was the best way to protect Alex. Had we known that it was the least of his worries at the time, or that the real protection he had needed was cover from the FBI…Well…what ifs never did change anything.

vvvv

"I guess I really started to believe in aliens when I heard Liz really had been shot. Sure, everything had to go through the Maria filter, but she and Liz had stopped whispering when I was around. Everything went back to the way it was before. It wasn't the same. How could it be? We were entrusted with this humongous secret and the key word here was trust. There were no more secrets and a lot of emotions were being thrown about at once. Michael had just dumped Maria, Max and Liz were still pining for each other, and I was still in awe of Isabel. At about this time, there was a new guidance counselor, Ms. Topolsky.

Ms. Topolsky was working undercover as West Roswell High School's newest guidance counselor. Despite appearances, Topolsky was an elite member of a highly classified sect of the FBI known as The Special Unit, and was hence our enemy from the start…Unfortunately for us, when Max Evans healed a young teenage girl from a gunshot wound, in The Crashdown that fateful day in September, namely, Liz Parkerhe attracted the attention of the Special Unit. Ms. Topolsky was sent undercover to gain our trust and then to take us down. She tried to get to Max through me, and with Liz's persuasion, I was able to hack into her laptop and uncover her identity before she was able to get to him. With her cover blown she went back to the bureau, and no one has heard from her since...

Liz and Max did hook up and even though seeing them together was enough to make any couple gag it was a refreshing sight from the otherwise sappy looks they sent each other when they weren't dating. But just as Liz and Max got together, someone new arrived in town. Tess. Tess Harding arrived in Roswell New Mexico and proceeded to make life among the 'I Know An Alien Club' hell. She rode into town with her protector from the crash with the notion that she and Maxwell Evans were going to fall madly in love at first sight.

What she found, however, was Max Evans head over heels in love with a human. Tess was raised to believe that she had a destiny and that destiny was for her and Max to be together. In May we found out that Tess and Max were 'destined' to be together and Michael and Isabel likewise. The message from their home planet said that their mission was to go back to their home world, to Antar, to free their dying planet.

With Tess, came her sick and twisted protector, Nasedo. He had survived from the 1947 crash and had raised Tess. Nasedo is a shape shifter who can, surprise, surprise change his form to look like anyone. We know that he killed a lot of people and in doing so left behind a glowing silver handprint on their chests.

It was when Liz and Kyle Valenti were coming home from a date (before Max and Liz got together) that Kyle saw a glowing silver handprint on her stomach from when Max healed her, it was left behind as a side effect, and that may have raised their suspicions. Kyle told his Dad about it, and Sheriff Valenti was never far behind after that.

Later Nasedo shifted his form to look like Max and essentially kidnapped Liz. When Max found out he went ballistic. Needless to say there was a rescue mission, and Max did manage to get Liz out of there, but at a price. He was taken.

The Special Unit managed to get him. He was taken to the white room where, the head of The Special UnitAgent Pierce tortured him. Tess and Nesado did help to get Max out along with Isabel and Michael, but in the end Valenti was told their secretMax was rescued and Valenti was on our side ever since.

The escape from Eagle Rock Military Base, where Max was being held, was tricky. Liz and Max managed to get separated and only they know what happened that night. The next morning the sheriff and Michael found them and brought them back to the hide out. When Max informed the group that we were taking our lives back, we all went to the UFO Center.

Kyle was as suspicious as his father. In the beginning after the shooting when Liz started getting close to MaxKyle had known that something was up. His dad even started to take an interest in him. Kyle went to the UFO Center to rescue his dad whom he thought was in danger. While there he managed to get shot. Max healed him, the same way he had done with Liz. Michael killed Pierce with energy from his hand, and told Maria that he had to stay away from her (for good this time because they were starting to get close again) because he loved her too much and he didn't want anything to happen to her.

Which pretty much brings us to the whole catastrophe with the holographic message from their mother telling them about their 'destiny.'A destiny that said that Tess Harding had been Max Evans' bride in another lifetime. A destiny that required Isabel and Michael to become a couple, because they were also married in another lifetime. They had their parts: Max, the king, Tess a queen, Isabel a princess, and Michael a general. No wonder their planet was dying.

Liz took off running away from Max, so she wouldn't get in the way of his destiny after being right there and hearing the message Michael had, as I mentioned it earlier broken things off with Maria, and Isabel and I were still dating as we had been doing for about a week or so.

Everything aside, what about Pierce? He was dead, and someone was going to miss him, so Nasedo shifted into what looked like Pierce and took his place in Washington. There weren't any official records of anything. There was no Special Unit. There was no White Room. Topolsky didn't exist. Not officially anyway. So, the Special Unit was a lie. A lie, whose main purpose was to recover information or specimens of little green menA lie that had managed to capture Max Evans and made him endure many tests. A lie that Tess and Nasedo had managed to run away from their whole lives. It was a lie that existed in America, a place where individuals had rights and free voice. A country which was developed on the idea that there was justice, liberty, and above all, freedom. Even to those a little green around the gills."

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Love wasn't something I ever dealt with in the opposite sex until I met Charles. He was my first love really, and maybe that's why it's so hard to compromise. Maybe that's why it's so hard to stand in the same room with him. Maybe that's why I can't stop the yelling; even when it's idiotic to do so. Maybe that's why my marriage is disintegrating.

Alex looked like my brother, who was the sport in my family. My brother, who is completely different from everyone; a jock, a ladies man, and able to get away with just about everything. Alex got his intelligence from his father, and from me he had his empathy. Such great qualities waiting to be discovered, and the only people who actually saw him…. saw the real Alex. The person on the inside were his seven closest friends.

I never knew any of them well. I only knew Maria and Liz, and heard only a handful of comments about the others, and of course that fateful glance of Isabel and Alex together. Perhaps they really weren't meant to be. After all, real messages from outer space don't come everyday. I guess what I'm really trying to say is that there really isn't anything I could do to help my son.

Even now, after knowing everything that happened to him. I still couldn't have done anything to protect him the way a mother should. Maybe that's why…

vvvv

"I had mentioned that Nasedo raised Tess. He did, and that's why she kept trying to come between Max and Liz even before they knew she was an alien too. She knew things that the others didn't, such as where the location to a certain Alien artifact was. We refer to it as the 'Destiny Book,' which holds all the secrets to their race. I should know; I decoded it."

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Chapter Three: Cashdogg Was Barking

Isabel's Flashback:

"I was reading one of Maria's books one day, and I came across this, and It reminded me of you.

'The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. Maybe they always have been and will be. Maybe we've lived a thousand years before one; and in each of them we've found each other. And maybe each time we've been forced apart for the same reasons. That means that this goodbye is both a good-bye for the past ten thousand years and a prelude to what will come.'

"Nicholas Sparks wrote that in The Notebook. Maybe you should read it. You might like it."

"You really think so?" That was a loaded question, and maybe it was a little unfair to ask, but I really wanted to know.

"Definitely."

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"So, there we were. We were divided, and all because of a destiny that no one wanted. A destiny that was sent to earth in the crash of '47. The four hybrids were sent to be together; Michael with Isabel, and Max with Tess. Where was Maria to Challenge Michael? Where was Liz to make Max live and fight the good fight instead of looking over his shoulder his whole life? And Isabel? Who was to look after her? Who was going to really look at her? Really make her be the person she is? To test her, to help her, to grow old with her, to love her…"

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Shakespeare once said 'that all the world is a stage and we're merely players.' In the four aliens lives this was especially true. They were sent here for one reason, and the hologram demanded that they lived by it. It was a guilty obligation that they had to live by. After Destiny, the pod squad had found out their purpose, and in the process they had managed to split themselves up because of it.

These kids have been living in fear. Living in constant fear that if the wrong people found out about them, they would die, or worse. And when the government found them, they were proven right. Max was held, tortured, because he was a little different. Not because he was a threat, but because human nature contains paranoia, he was placed under conditions that no man should ever endure, let alone a teenage boy. What is this world coming to?

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"Michael broke off all ties from Maria. Liz went to Florida for the summer. Kyle went away to football camp while Sheriff Valenti was busy covering our tracks. Isabel and I were still dating. The group had split right down the middle, humans vs. Czechoslovakians.Isabel and I spent as much time out of town as we could. Going on day trips and generally avoiding the nasty glares from friends and siblings. Maria and Michael were the worst. Both missed each other like crazy and were too proud to admit it, so they lashed out in other ways, mainly trying to convince us that we shouldn't be together. Maria's argument was that I was going to get my heart crushed, and that it was too dangerous. Michael's argument was the whole destiny excuse. I have a sneaking suspicion to this day; Tess had something to do with that summer. Isabel and I became very close and I can't say I regret a moment of that summer.

Max on the other hand was in shambles. He wasn't about to accept his destiny, and was desperately waiting for Liz to return from Florida, to convince her that he didn't want anything to do with his 'destiny.' I always thought Max had the right idea. Meanwhile, Tess was busy. She was working her way in the group, and trying to get as close to Max as possible. Despite everything she did, Max was becoming nonplused with her, which was the adverse effect she was looking for. So, to make sure that Max would come around, she wanted the Destiny Book translated. And, that summer, is when it started.

I had already applied to the University of Las Cruces. So, when I started working away on their Quantum Computer. The potential for such a computer really is limitless, but right now they're just multi-million dollar toys. The greatest potential is in the field of cryptography. In theory, a quantum computer can break just about any code. A 'code' such as a secret alien language which happens to be engraved in a certain metallic book that reside in the shoebox under my bed.

I worked on the translation of the book that had caused so many problems, and the idiot that Tess is; never realized that the book would be her down fall.

"The book is incomprehensible. The book is more than some manual to use when things get tough. It's more than some idea of how the pod squad should live their lives. The book itself was forged from the granolith. It's, in a way, a part of the granolith. They're connected, and so, in a way the granolith itself is alive. The granolith houses the entire royal line. Every royal who has ever lived resides in the granolith. It's their essence, their spirit.

The book says specifically that there will be eight. Below that it goes into something even the Quantum Computer really can't explain. But in short, it's a Prophesy. About Eight.

"Four siblings of different fathers

and born of a mother

To be reborn on another world.

Four connected by the living fire

Consuming all who dare to touch

One the voice of angels

One the mind of our advances

One the heart of the Celestial Beings Above

One the loyalty of a soldier.

Those who dare to touch the living fire

Will be consumed by four.

One the strength to defend

One the knowledge of another plane

One to heal the heart

One to show desire.

Together they will march

Two beings from different worlds together

To create a being higher than our own.

Each will bear forth gifts

For these gifts there will be a war

A summoning will come and history will repeat

Four connected by the living fire

Consuming all who dare to touch

Those who dare to touch the living fire

Will be consumed by four.

To protect the gifts one must march alone

One must discover the code

For two beings from different worlds together

To create a being higher than our own."

"Tess wanted to believe that she was made for Max. She wanted to believe that she and Max were married in another life. The truth is, she's his sister. Tess, Isabel, Michael, and Max are all siblings, but with different fathers. Max was the eldest, than Isabel, than Michael, and then Tess."

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I always thought it was strange how Max and Isabel were brother and sister and they looked nothing alike. When I first started reading this, I thought it was an alien thing, that perhaps she wasn't his sister, just someone like him. Someone from the same home world. But if Alex is right, they're all brothers and sisters. But prophesies? Aren't those just something on the Home Psychic Channel? Maybe he just misinterpreted….

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Isabel's Flashback:

He had been there all along. Before he knew who I really am and he's still here. I've pushed him away more times than I could count. He still stuck by me. He was there my darkest of all days, and he's still there now. He's still here.

He's here now. Next to me, on my couch, and his hand is casually lying on it. I doubt he notices that his hand is there. I doubt he knows the feelings he stirs in me, at the mere sight of him. I doubt he knows he's driving me crazy. We've been dating since May. It's August now and its like something inside of me is driving me crazy. It's like something inside of me has just woken up, and I want him soo bad…

"Alex?"

"The one and only."

"I think I'm ready."

"Ready for what?"

"Alex, I think I'm ready. Ready to move on to the next level. Of our relationship."

"Next level?"

"Yeah. What do you think? We never really talked about it, and I mean, you really mean a lot to me, and I just, I want to be close to you. Do you think you're ready? Do you think we're ready?"

"Iz, I love you. Really, I do, but I don't want to do anything because you feel like we should be doing it right now. Summer flings and all that. I just, I don't want to mess this up. Not again."

"Are you saying this is wrong?" I grabbed his hand. I could feel the adrenaline rush just from the mere touch. "Everything I've felt about you is wrong? Alex, I knew a long time ago, that you were going to mean something to me. I knew then, and I was afraid. I'm not afraid anymore Alex. Not of you, not of us. You're going to Las Cruces for a few weeks and I won't have you anymore. You're my best friend, my boyfriend, and the one person in the world I think I could ever really trust my soul with. And my body. Let me love you."

"I'm leaving tomorrow, Iz. I'll be back in a few weeks. I'm not leaving forever."

"I know, but I want you. I want you to be my first."

"Iz, no. Definitely not. It's not going to be me, and its not going to be in a rush when I'll be leaving. It won't be right Iz. Not with me. Choose someone else."

"Why not you?" This was absurd. How3 come the one guy I wanted to roll in the hay with, was refusing me? Was there something wrong with me? Was the idea of my being an alien getting to him after all? He was probably disgusted with me and had finally taken Maria's advice. I'm such an idiot.

"Because you deserve someone better."

Someone better? Who was better than Alex? Alex who made sure I came home safely when I was having those creepy dreams about Michael. Alex who made sure I always had a ride home from school. Alex who risked his life time and time again, to save all our lives. Alex who listened to me and didn't laugh when I told him my innermost secrets. Alex who let me cry on his shoulder. Alex who loved all of me even if half of me is a little green. Alex who makes me chocolate and Tabasco pancakes. Alex who can make me laugh. Alex, the only man I'll ever love. Someone better?

"When I look at you, I see your beauty and grace and know they have grown stronger with every life you have lived. And I know I have spent every life before this one searching for you. Not someone like you, but you, for your soul and mine must always come together. And then for a reason, that neither of us understands, we've been forced to say good-bye. I haven't been helping matters either and I just want to be together, because I love you, I want to be together. Forever."

"You read it." He had such a sexy smirk.

"I said I would."

"I never thought I would see the day when Isabel Evans would use a line on a guy to get him in bed. Especially a line from a novel."

"Akex!" That earned him a rough shove. Next thing I knew I was on top of him, and his lips were a little bruised from my ministrations.

"No Iz, not here. Not with me."

He never knew what hit him.

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OK, I was lost at the first line I have to admit. Looking over it, it looks as if the whole thing just keeps repeating its self. What does this have to do with Alex? It appears as if the prophecy is saying something important about all of them. Four humans? Four Hybrids? Could that be it? Is that what the book is talking about? But why them? And how does my son's death even work into the equation?

And what is that Living Fire? And what war, what history will repeat? What does any of this have to do with Alex? My Alex? The kid who dressed up as a pumpkin his first Halloween? My son, who loved Isabel Evans?

He was too young to die, and to die for some alien cause from another planet. He was working on helping them, and what did they do? They killed him. They did something with his mind, and he's gone forever.

I don't hate them. I don't begrudge them my son's life. Isabel must be beyond devastated and Alex died for her. For her, and something that means the world to her and the other seven of them left. She must be so alone. I know that feeling. The feeling that there was nothing else in the world that gave any mind to you. That suddenly the bright, vast world out there that had been so full of possibility had gone and shriveled up. Day and nights don't seem to matter any more, and for some unknown reason Mascara is as unpractical as a staying married to someone who doesn't love you anymore. With Alex was gone, my husband, the man I had promised my life, my mind, my body, and still he had become even more of a shell than before. I can understand loneliness. I think we, Isabel and I, can understand each other's pain, maybe more so than anyone else can.

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CHAPTER FOUR: Called My Mother Told Her I Loved Her

Isabel's Flashback

Alex and I made love for the first time. It was as the wonderful feeling of contentment washed over me, that I realized what true bliss is. I was lying with my head cradled upon his chest and his heart was against my ear. His arms were around me and I would've sworn right then, at that moment, that I, "Ice Princess" Isabel Evans, would never find a better way to die. Alex was whispering to me though. My Alex…

"Izzy, there's something you need to know."

"Hmm?"

"I want you to know that I love you, and if anything should ever happen to me, if anything strange ever happens to me, then go to Hope and Haven Apartments. Promise me you'll go. Promise."

"Of Course Alex." I promised offhandedly. "Love you too." He smelled so good.

vvvv

I was working on the translation for the destiny book when it happened. I was tapping away at the keys; my eyes were burning from the hours of staring at the computer screen, which I had been doing for hours at a time, when I saw it. It was my name. I was being mentioned in the book from the stars. Why the hell was my name on a book that was from light years away from Earth? I kept on tapping. The feeling of disbelief had never been stronger. The screen was no longer blurry. The screen was instead perfect in contrast, and it was then that I saw the downfall of Tess.

No one was in the room, and I could feel my mind go back to normal. I was no longer under Tess' clutches. I was no longer working under Tess' mind warp, and so, in utter disbelief I repeated the words from the script that was now highlighted on the screen.

There was no sound. There was no scrape of my chair against the newly tiled floor in the computer lab. There was no breeze. No stale air. There was only the pale blue light that seemed to come from nowhere. It was the two figures before me, who made me stand up and take notice. It was as the 'Destiny' book had said. As an aside, that in itself was a little freaky I'll tell you.

The book had given me the words to transport me to the women; whom we would call the Fates. In Ancient Greece they were known as the three old Crones who decided the fate of life. There are however two women who were residing in the plane while I was there. It was their message. Their ultimatum that was put before me, that changed my life, my death.

"You are the one called Alexander Whitman are you not?" One of the women, a beautiful redhead asked. She was shining with something secretive and celestial. Usually they'd be as formal as could be… try Alexander…

"Yes, and you are the Fates?" The book had said so, but really, who really knew where I was. This was obviously alien Voodoo, as Maria called it. There really was no point in being stupid.

"Yes," said the other woman, who was plainer, softer, kinder. "You are here because you have come to a crossroads."

"A Crossroads?" I asked in confusion.

"Didn't she just say that?" retorted the redhead.

"You are being given a choice. A choice to decide which path you will walk along. You can either continue on the current path, or stop the traitor within your group as you have been planning to do for some weeks now. So, choose Alexander Whitman. Choose which life you will live. Choose wisely."

"How am I gonna choose? I don't know what the alternatives are." I elaborated.

"You are a smart one. Very well. We shall let you see what life will have in store for you," said the redhead. With her unblinking green eyes turned toward me, I saw…

There was me confronting Tess. I was dead. Tess killed me. She staged it as a car crash. Isabel, alone. Miserable. The group leaving Roswell. Max and Liz at odds with each other. Maria leaving Michael. Sheriff Valenti fired. Tess pregnant.

Suddenly there was a new set of lives being played for me. I gave Tess an edited version of the 'Destiny' book. Everyone one mind-warped into thinking I was dead. Sent to live somewhere else. Memory Erased. Isabel pregnant. Daughter.

I had always believed that every choice made life what it was. There was a fifty-fifty chance of things happening, and when they do, they set off a chain reaction that changes the world around us. It would so happen that by playing dumb, Isabel would become pregnant with Our Child. A child that was meant to be born. I would have a daughter.

"I've chosen."

One day I woke up
I woke up knowing
Today is the day
I will die

I translated the rest of the book in the next couple of days. On one copy I gave Tess the version which I had tampered with. It didn't give her any of the information she wanted, just a vague history of what had happened on Antar, and it told her to basically, "live well and prosper."

Cashdogg was barking
Went to the park and enjoyed it one last time
I called my mother, told her I loved her
And I begged her not to cry

I wrote a letter
I said I'd miss her
And I signed that Goodbye


You know the happiest day of my life
I swear the happiest day of my life
Is the day that I die
Can you feel the cold tonight (the day that I die)
It sets in, but it's alright (the day that I die)
Darkness falls, I'm letting go (the day that I die)
All alone but I feel fine (the day that I die)

We took a drive and we drove thru D.C.
To see the places we lived, long conversations
We talked of old friends and all the things that we did

Summer nights
Drunken fights
Mistakes we made
Did we live it right

You know the happiest day of my life
I swear the happiest day of my life
Is the day that I die
Can you feel the cold tonight (the day that I die)
It sets in, but it's alright (the day that I die)
Darkness falls, I'm letting go (the day that I die)
All alone but I feel just fine (the day that I die)

You know the happiest day of my life
I know the happiest day of my life
I swear the happiest day of my life
Is the day that I die
Can you feel the cold tonight (the day that I die)
It sets in, but it's alright (the day that I die)
Darkness falls, I'm letting go (the day that I die)
All alone but I feel fine (the day that I die)

Did I live it right, I hope I lived it right, Did I live it right? (the day that I die)
Did I live it right, I hope I lived it right, I know I lived it right (the day that I die)

I'm sitting here listening to this song, and I realize how much I love you all. How much I would give up for all of you, and to tell you with absolute certainty that I would never change a thing.

vvvv

Charles moved out. It's been a month since Alex's death and since then, we can't keep it together. We yell and shout about whose to blame and secretly we blame ourselves. The years we've spent together for Alex are obsolete with his extinguished spirit.

In his letter, Alex told me to write his story. He wanted me to write it down and share his story with the world. I had always wanted to be a writer, and to think it was at the cost of my son… In a few minutes I'll go back and change some of the names in this story, such as Isabel Evans and the others whom Alex affectionately called the pod squad, and the humans who helped them, and loved them. For them I owe the world. Only hope that his spirit will live on with them, and perhaps this book.

vvvv

Give them my love. Find Hope and Haven.

Goodbye,

Alex

vvvv

Isabel dropped the book she had been reading and found herself back in his room. It was Alex's room. She had been sitting in here all day reading. It was earlier that morning when Isabel had come by to bask in Alex's room, she had come to stand by the computer and found Mrs. Whitman's manuscript.

It was the last line that had made her drop the two hundred page manuscript. Find Hope and Heaven. 'Alex! He's alive.' It was Isabel's last thought before she sprang out the door and into the living room of the Whitman home. Mrs. Whitman was nowhere in sight and so Isabel burned rubber as she went in search for the only person who could help her.

vvvv

So, what do you think? FB?