A/N: This is not a songfic. I just stole the title from the Counting Crows song that was in the Shrek 2 movie. I also have a few of the lyrics at the beginning to set the mood. Just a little experimenting.
Disclaimer: If I owned Code Lyoko, I'd have had the DVDs out eons ago and give Jeremy more screen time. But, alas, I do not own the show.
How much longer will
it take to cure this?
Just to cure it 'cause I can't ignore it if it's love (love)
Makes me wanna turn around and face me but I don't know nothing 'bout love
— "Accidentally in Love," Counting Crows
It wasn't supposed to happen: love, I mean.
She was the first, "real" best friend I ever had. I felt comfortable talking to her because she didn't see me as too geeky or strange. To her, I was just Jeremy, not "Weirdo Jeremy" or "Techno Geek." To be honest, a friend that accepted me for me was all I'd wanted from her.
And then, out of the blue, Cupid came along. And he didn't shoot me with an arrow: He dropped the cliché cartoon anvil on me.
It should've been me and the others helping out a friend. Nothing more, nothing less. (This is excluding the life-threatening parts and "saving the world" angle, of course.) It would've been wonderful to see her in person because we were such good friends. It might have been like meeting a friend you "met" over the Internet. Love wasn't supposed to enter into the equation.
But—stupid me—it happened. The one thing in the world I can't predict or control, and it happened.
I don't know how or when or why. We had been friends since the very beginning: talking about not just the latest XANA threat but more mundane things as well. Then one day it seemed like I noticed her smile a lot more than I used to. Then I noticed how she was always so happy to see me. Then I would pay more attention to her actual appearance and her voice.
Oh yeah. I had it bad.
The worst part is that I didn't want this to happen. Love always seems to complicate friendships. (Take a good look at Yumi and Ulrich, and you'll see what I mean.) Aelita was one of the few friends I had and probably my very best friend. I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable around me just because of a little crush.
So I tried to ignore it. Tried to just keep on thinking about trying to free her.
It wasn't helping.
It's getting complicated already, and I haven't even said anything. I've taken risks that back on the "just friends" level I might not have taken. I've sent Odd, Ulrich, and Yumi into danger all out of fear for Aelita's safety.
I feel awful after doing that. It makes me want to get rid of this crush…love…whatever…all the more. It seems to shut down rational thought when Aelita is in jeopardy.
I actually went browsing around a mystic's shop one day with Yumi. I told her it was just for kicks but was really hoping for an anti-love potion. Saw a lot of love potions but nothing to reverse it. Apparently, I'm the only person who has this problem.
Looking back, it was actually ridiculous to think that I could really find some concoction that could change an emotion. I guess I'm getting pretty desperate.
Oh, and the trip wasn't entirely for me, by the way. Yumi did buy something that day. Though I've been sworn under pain of death not to reveal it.
I thought about staying away from Aelita for a while but chickened out. She gets pretty lonely in Lyoko without someone to talk to. I couldn't do that to her because of something that was my fault.
Things never should've worked out like this. If I could go back in time, I'd give myself a specific warning to watch not just my back but my heart when dealing with Aelita…
…because now I'm not the only one who's paying for it.