On One Condition

By: Sozuki

Chapter: One Shot

Time: Before the three floating heads told Sanzo-ikkou that they had to head west.

Summary: Gojyo and Goku convince Sanzo to make a valentine for Hakkai, and says that he's not giving it to him. At least…Sanzo himself doesn't give it to him.



"But Sanzo!" Goku yelled, "Hakkai said it's a holiday and it's tomorrow! And that you're supposed to make cards for the people you care about! And I'm sure Hakkai would really love it if you—"


Goku pouted and crossed his arms across his chest.

"Ok come on, Sanzo-sama. It's only a valentine." Gojyo said, placing his arm around Sanzo's shoulders. "It's not like you have to confess your undying love for him or anything. Though we all know how you feel for him. Except Hakkai himself of course, which is really weird considering he's the smartest of us all." He threw a glance at Goku. "Though, that isn't saying much. Again considering."

"What's that supposed to mean, kappa!" Goku yelled, slamming the palm of his hands on Sanzo's desk.

"It means what it means bakasaru!" Gojyo growled.

Sanzo glared and shoved Gojyo's arm off his person. "When did I give you permission to touch me, kappa?"

"I don't need your permission to touch you, stupid monk."

Sanzo took out his fan and whacked him on the head. "Are you trying to start a fight?"

"Sanzo!" Goku whined, "Just make him a valentine, Sanzo! Me and Gojyo made one!" He continued and pointed the mess of little foam hearts, paper, glitter, and glue on the floor across from his desk.

Sanzo glanced out the window. "It's late. Leave."

Gojyo smirked and waved a finger in Sanzo's face. "Not until you make a valentine!"

"Hell no."

Goku walked over to the mess valentine madness and picked up a piece of paper, glitter, a marker, and glue before walking back and throwing them on the desk. Crossing his arms, Goku glared. "Make one."

Sanzo was getting tired. He was getting tired of Goku and Gojyo trying to persuade him to make a damn valentine and he was tired because he had been up since dawn.

He growled and grabbed the piece of paper and folded it in half. He then grabbed the glue and did a few squiggles before he slammed that down and grabbed the glitter. Dumping half of the red and silver glitter out onto the paper, he spread it out so all the glue was covered. He then shook the paper out, sending the rest of the glitter flying in different directions.

Gojyo, who had been snickering the whole time, then started complaining when some of the glitter had gotten on his black coat. "Watch it, monk."

Sanzo, ignoring the glitter that had landed in his hair and on his robes, then picked up the marker and wrote, "Happy Valentines Day" on the front before he opened it and continued to write. Gojyo and Goku leaning over the desk and read what he wrote.

"Gojyo's an ass and Goku's a pain. Here's the fucking valentine they wanted me to make for you." He then made a big show of drawing a heart below that, a crazy glint in his eyes. "Love Sanzo"

He then slammed the marker on the desk as well, making a few of the papers that still rested on it flutter to the floor.

"There. I made the fucking valentine."

"I never knew you where such a romantic." Gojyo snickered.

"You could have kept out the part about us." Goku said.

"Thing is," Sanzo continued and he returned to his semi-calm self, "I'm not giving it to him." He took the valentine and held it over the trashcan, and then he dropped it.

"But Sanzo-sama," Gojyo said, reaching into the trashcan. Sanzo whacked him with his fan before he could grab it. He stood while Gojyo did a double check to see if his hand could work properly after Sanzo's abuse.

"I'm going to bed. Goodnight." Sanzo then turned and left the room. Gojyo and Goku sat in silence for a while before Gojyo stood and tried to brush the glitter off of his coat with little to no success.

Stopping his effort, he poked Goku's forehead. "Oi, bakasaru. Hakkai's going to be a little late coming tomorrow. He said something about picking up some stuff before he came over."

Goku smiled. "OK!"


The next day, Goku had waited and watched for Hakkai. After an hour or so, he saw him heading towards the gates of Chang 'an.

"Hakkai's coming! Hakkai's coming!" Goku yelled, while running around in a frantic search for the valentine he made.

Gojyo smirked as he sat on the corner of Sanzo's desk, the monkey's valentine to Hakkai sitting innocently on his left. Turning his head to yell some insult, something caught his eye. Looking down, he saw the valentine Sanzo had made in the trashcan just to his right.

He grinned and plucked it from the trash, seeing as it was almost the only other thing but a few other papers in there, he saw no harm in his plan.

"Oi! Bakasaru! Here it is!"

Sanzo looked up in time to see Goku grab what Gojyo had been holding without looking at it and his eyes widened in panic. Quickly glancing to Gojyo's left to see Goku's valentine still sitting there and then a quick glance into his trashcan.

"SARU!" Sanzo yelled diving over his desk to catch Goku's sleeve before he ran out the door. Gojyo was practically rolling on the floor in laughter when Sanzo missed and Goku took no notice to his caretaker's despair. Goku escaped from the room, running to meet up with Hakkai at the gate of Chang 'an, leaving a wide-eyed Sanzo and the laughing dead behind.

Standing in front of the before mentioned laughing dead, Sanzo kicked Gojyo in the head before taking out the fan and beating his head in. "What the FUCK were you THINKING!"

"Well technically you aren't giving it to him, Goku is!" Gojyo yelled above his beating. "And stop hitting me damn it!" Hitting him one more time for good measure, Sanzo then ran out the door. "Damn Kappa!"


"Hakkai! Hakkai!" Goku yelled, running over to the older brunette waving the valentine in the air. Stopping before he took Hakkai out, he shoved the said valentine in his face so it was all Hakkai's vision could see. "Happy Valentines Day!"

Hakkai blinked and gently took the offered card from Goku. "I made it all by myself! Though Gojyo had tried to wreck it more than once." Goku continued to ramble on about how Gojyo had tried to destroy the valentine.

Hakkai stared at the mess of glitter and glue on the cover. He sweatdropped and laughed slightly. Yes, this looks like something Goku would do. Opening the card he blinked again in surprise and then blushed a brilliant shade of red. Never mind. Goku didn't make it.

"Um. Goku?" Hakkai started, interrupting him in mid rant. "Are you sure you made this?"

"Huh?" Goku blinked. "What do you mean?"

"Well," Hakkai started, "It says it's from Sanzo." Goku's eyes widened and he quickly grabbed the card from Hakkai and scanned it over.


"Bakasaru!" Both Hakkai and Goku turned to see Sanzo running up to them. Once he got there, he grabbed the card from Goku and shoved it into the sleeve of his robe. He took out his fan and whacked Goku he turned and walked away. But not before glaring at both Goku and Hakkai.

"Well THAT was anticlimactic!" Gojyo yelled from a window. But had to quickly duck as two or three bullets flew past his head.


Hakkai's lesson was short, considering it was a holiday and all. He had also put together a small baggie of homemade chocolate hearts for everyone. Goku was currently enjoying the last of his.

Handing Gojyo's his, he smiled. Gojyo nudged Hakkai slightly and smirked. Hakkai just smiled, supporting a slight blush. Gojyo then walked over to Goku and knocked him on the head. "Come on, bakasaru."

"What? Where are we going?" Goku asked, but still followed.

"You'll see."


Once Goku and Gojyo had left the room, Hakkai walked over to the desk where Sanzo was reading the newspaper. "I made some chocolate for you as well, Sanzo."


"See look." Hakkai said and opened the little baggie the chocolate where in. Leaning his elbows on the desk he continued. "If you look closely," he pointed, "you can see the 'I Love You' that the mold I got had left. I was afraid it wasn't going to turn out but I guess it did. It's legible at least."

Sanzo lowered the paper slightly and raised an eyebrow at the smiling man across from him. Hakkai closed the baggie, sealing the chocolates inside. "I'll give them to you on one condition." Hakkai waved a finger and his smile grew. "If you let me have that valentine you made for me, I'll let you have the chocolate I made for you."

Neither Sanzo nor Hakkai moved. Though, both had turned to the window when voices reached their ears.

"Mine didn't have 'I love you' on them."

"How the hell would you know? You ate them so damn fast."

"Well YOURS doesn't say 'I love you' either!"

"That doesn't mean he doesn't love me though. He just doesn't love me the same way he loves Sanzo."

"But they still don't say 'I love you'!"

"What's you point?"

Both voices were silenced by a gunshot and both Hakkai and Sanzo waited until they were sure Gojyo and Goku had left.

"Well?" Hakkai asked, and dangled the chocolate in the air. Sanzo folded the newspaper and sat there staring at Hakkai for another minute before he blushed and growled, grabbing the chocolate from Hakkai's grip. He then took the valentine out from his sleeve and tossed it to Hakkai.

Hakkai smiled and opened the card again to read it again. "Now I have proof that you put the word 'love' before your name." Hakkai chuckled. Sanzo's blush deepened as he opened the chocolates and popped one into his mouth.

"Just don't get used to it."

Hakkai walked around the desk and stood behind Sanzo and wrapped his arms around his shoulders.

"I wouldn't dream of it."



I'm only, what? A month ½ late?