Mario, accompanied by Peach and Luigi, stood in Grubba's office with Jolene and Rawk Hawk. "Well, you're the new champion, Mario."
Rawk Hawk shook Mario's hand. Mario shrugged. "I'm surprised!"
"Honestly, we didn't think you were going to win," said Luigi.
"Well, I was hoping you'd win!" Peach said. "And it's a nice thing that you did!"
Grubba began to get to business. "You're the new champion, Mario. You've got to stay here, and defend your title!"
"Wait," Peach said, "Mario has to stay here?"
"Well, no," Grubba said, "he doesn't have to defend his title..."
Jolene handed Mario her clipboard. "Sign your name here on this dotted line."
Mario stared hard at the dotted line. He didn't want to leave his friends back home. Should he write his name? On the dotted line, Mario wrote "No", and handed the clipboard back to Jolene.
"Thanks," she said. Then she looked down at the form and frowned. "This is not an acceptable signature."
"Well," Mario said, "this isn't an acceptable life for me."
"Oh, Mario!" Peach hugged Mario.
"So that means that Rawk Hawk retains his previous title of Champion," Jolene said. Rawk Hawk smiled.
"I have a question," Luigi asked. "Who did all those letters come from?"
"You mean whom," Mario corrected him.
Luigi sighed. "Whom did all those letters come from?"
Grubba smiled. "Well, I sent a letter to your hotel room yesterday. I don't know about all the other letters, though."
Rawk Hawk laughed. "I attached that letter to the phone booth yesterday when I saw you worrying like a baby outside last night. Then I called the pay phone so you would run and see it."
"What about the other letter telling me how to beat Rawk Hawk?" Mario asked.
"What letter?" Rawk Hawk asked, startled.
Jolene started backing out of the office.
"Jolene!" Rawk Hawk shouted, "Where do you think you're going?"
"Out for...a breath of fresh air."
"Get back here!" Rawk Hawk shouted. "The tail feather thing was supposed to be secret! Why would you use that against me?"
"I thought we could use better ratings," Jolene explained. I thought we were due for a new champion to get a new fan base."
"What?" Grubba asked. "We don't need new fans. This stadium is packed full every day! We don't have room for new fans!"
"Oh," Jolene said. "An honest mistake."
"Well, congrats, Mario," Grubba said. "Your blimp should be arriving soon. You don't want to miss it, do you?"
"No," Peach said, "We should probably be heading back. I have a kingdom to run!"
"Oh, yes," Mario said. "I had a nice timewell, admittedly, the entire experience here was horrifying, but I guess I learned something from it."
"Well, thanks for comin'," Grubba said. "Y'all come back here some time soon!"
"Okeydokey!" Mario said, smiling. But he knew that he would never come back to the Glitz Pit ever again.