A/N: I said that I would never write another L/J story. This is just a one-shot. Complete fluff, and probably been done before No, I have no plans to continue this, but here's a hint. Lily and James get married.
"I don't even know why you're arguing with me about this, Prongs."
"Because I feel sorry for you. You're obviously deluded. I just want to straighten you out."
"What do you guys think?" Sirius said, turning to Remus and Peter. James joined Sirius in an intense scrutiny of their two friends, arms crossing simultaneously. Peter nearly choked on the chocolate frog he was eating as he snorted with laughter. Remus leaned back slowly, crossing one leg as he pressed his fingertips together. He returned his friends' appraising look, and raised one eyebrow.
"And how the hell should we know? We've never kissed either one of you."
"Very well then, Moony my dear. Come here, you big lug." Sirius lunged for Remus, who dove gracefully out of the way in time to see Sirius slam face first into the armchair.
"Do you really think that I'll snog both of you right here in the common room? I'm sure that you can find a girl to judge for you."
"Good idea," James said enthusiastically, while Sirius grinned. Peter looked up from his mound of sweets. Finally this boring argument was heading somewhere.
"Who will be the lucky lady, Jamesie?"
"I don't know, Syree. Should we choose someone we've both already kissed?"
"No, I think that we need a completely neutral, uninterested party. Someone who feels the same way about both of us. Someone neither of us has ever kissed."
James looked at Sirius in disbelief, as did Peter. Remus had a gleam in his eye as he boarded Sirius' train of thought, but said nothing.
"And who on earth would that be, Sirius? Between the two of us, we've dated every one in our house of a suitably non-pervy age."
"Every one except - ," said Sirius, stopping with a grin as Lily Evans stepped through the portrait hole, returning from rounds.
"No way. She'll never do it," James said. Remus looked thoughtfully at her, and said, "She might, if you go about it the right way. You'll have to make it worth her while, though."
"Got it," said Sirius. "Evans, love! Can you help us out with something?"
"Lose your potions notes again, Black?"
"No, I know where they are. I gave them to Hagrid. He has a new pup, Fang, right, and he needed something to line the floor of the kennel. James and I would like you to help us settle a bet."
"What kind of bet?" Lily said suspiciously, perching on the arm of Peter's chair. Peter looked at her nervously, and scrunched into the corner of his chair. He didn't want to be the closest target for Lily's wrath when she heard the details of the bet.
"I was just mentioning to James that everyone knows that I am the best kisser at Hogwarts, when he had the gall to say that he was better than I am."
"I was just reminding Sirius that Deena Wilder told me that I kiss better than he does. That's all."
"Oh, like she's a fair judge. She's fancied you since Second Year!"
"Well, I – "
"Boys!" The bickering pair turned to look at Lily, still perched on Peter's chair. Peter grabbed a pillow to defend himself, should the need arise.
"I assume you are planning to ask me, as the only girl in three houses to never kiss either of you, to judge?"
"Um, yes?" Sirius said meekly. Peter held the pillow firmly over his face and head. James' face was beet red, and Remus was sporting a very uncharacteristic smirk.
"And why, for Merlin's sake, would I agree to judge such a pointless, demeaning competition?"
"Because it's crucial to know which of us kisses the best. Think of our fans! And, AND-" Sirius continued, as Lily tossed her satchel on Peter's chair (luckily he hadn't moved the pillow, but he still yelped) and prepared to yell at Sirius for his arrogance, "And, because if you do, we won't pull any pranks for a week and James won't ask you out for a month."
"Yeah, we – , Hey!" James sputtered, "I never agreed to that!"
"Shut up, Prongs," Sirius and Remus chimed. "Look."
Lily, who had jumped up, sat back down again, shocked into silence. This was completely ridiculous, she knew, but to be free of the Marauders' pranks and James' attempts at romance even for a short time was better than Galleons in the bank.
After a minute, she looked up at them.
"All right. I'll do it. But," she said, seeing the eager grins on four faces, "There are going to be some rules."
"Fair enough, Lils. Let's hear them."
"Don't call me that, Black. First, mints all around," she said, tossing a mint to James and Sirius and popping one into her own mouth.
"Secondly, your hands will ONLY touch my waist, back, and head. Any funny business and I'll hex you into next week." She waited as the boys nodded. Peter took the opportunity to sneak away into a chair on the other side of Remus.
"Finally, you will tell NO ONE the identity ofyour judge in this stupid little contest. I expect you to brag, if you win, because otherwise, what's the point, right? But you will not let it get around that I was the one who decided. I could never live something like that down. If anyone outside of this room finds out," she finished, looking around at the boys (Peter gulped nervously), "You will pay."
"Well, Evans, you certainly know how to set the tone for a romantic evening. Moony, will you call, please?"
"Sure," said Remus, pulling a Galleon out of his pocket. "heads or ships, James?"
"Nope. Heads. Sirius goes first."
Sirius put his hands on Lily's waist and grinned roguishly at her. She grinned back, pushed his hair out of his eyes, and closed hers as their lips met. Her arms slid slowly around to meet at the nape of his neck, and he pulled her tighter as the kiss deepened. James looked away, a nasty scowl forming on his face for all he tried to look nonchalant. Remus was trying hard not to laugh at James' obvious discomfort, and Peter had pulled out a small notebook and was taking notes on Sirius' technique.
"Not bad, Black. Not bad at all," Lily breathed as Sirius finally let her up for air. "And you didn't even try to grope me. I'm impressed."
"Well, maybe next time, Lils. If you're good."
"Don't call me that."
"Love, after sharing a kiss like that, I can call you pretty much whatever I like."
"Whatever." Lily smiled as she backed out of Sirius' arms and turned to James.
"Are you ready for this, Potter?"
He had grabbed her before she had even turned all the way round, and his lips found hers as if that was what they had been created for. She parted her lips softly, in surprise, and her hands clutched his arms as he leaned into her. Sirius and Remus heard a soft moan escape her as James' arms hugged her closely to him, and she was soon running her fingers through his thick hair. Remus raised an eyebrow at his friend, and Sirius narrowed his eyes at the couple. Peter was scribbling furiously, his tongue sticking out to one side.
James and Lily forgot that there were other people in the room.
A few minutes later, James slowed his frenzied pace and began softly caressing her back and her long red hair, and then pecked her nose as they finally ended the kiss. His eyes sparkled at her, and hers were wide with shock as she stared back at him. She didn't even know thata person could be kissed like that. She remembered the presence of the other boys, and her face flamed with embarrassment at her own lack of composure. She shakily felt behind her for the arm of the chair, grabbed her satchel, and finally turned away from him, breaking eye contact, and moved toward the stairs to her dorm.
As she started up the stairs, she leaned over the banister, and in what she hoped was a calm, semi-collected tone, announced (rather unnecessarily),